Mick

Blazing Saddles was a classic if there ever was one. Slim Pickens is one of my all time favorite actors. I recall at one point, after the "Gov" had said something sage and profound, Slim said, "Gawl dang it boss, you use yer tongue better'n a two dollar whore." On a serious note, I agree with what Doug said about it being better to hurt now than later. Just keep your eyes open and don't let your judgement be clouded by romance. Good luck....

Wow, PBR in China. All you need now are the Red Necks and White Socks. (I am referring to the old country song entitled, Red Necks, and White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer). It's a classic down here in Tennerbama. The WWII Army connection is a little strange it seems......

Although it is difficult to generalize about an issue like this, I think there may indeed be an increasing hostility on the part of Chinese men toward relationships between Chinese women and foreigners. I know back as far as 1997-1998, during our first year together living in China, Li experienced much hostility from others, both men and women. One of her supervisors even forbade her from being seen walking on the street with me, a prohibition which she ignored by the way. She was called a traitor, so that response to the article did not surprise me at all. All of this open hostility was the primary reason we moved away from that part of China after the first year, spending the next four years down in Guangdong, where attitudes were far more open. As the gap between the number of males and females widens, more and more men will find it difficult to find suitable partners and it would not be surprising to see this anti-foreigner hostility increase even more. Chinese culture, strongly influenced by Confucian ethics and a rising nationalism, also has a significant history of xenophobia (much of it justified historically I might add). All of these factors, combined with a shortage of women, makes the situation ripe for this sort of thing. Foriegners living in China and behaving badly adds fuel to the fire. Equally, however, I think that there may be a geographic element at play as well. Our first year, spent in Anhui Province, was not positive at all. As stated earlier, we experienced repeated negativity from others. When we moved down south, things were totally different. As the future unfolds, I suspect that those parts of China that have frequent contact with foreigners will be more tolerant and open, while the more isolated areas will be more hostile.

Randy, thanks so much for posting this. Breathtaking is about the only word I can use to describe some of those shots. I miss China so much. The five years I spent there were so special and I would like nothing more than to go back for an extended visit. Alas, my health won't allow for such an extended time in plane. Maybe I can investigate that proverbial "slow boat to China."

Wow, Carl, did that ever bring back some memories as I read that. For one thing, I had totally forgotten about the injury to my ribs. I had a separated shoulder that was pushed back into socket standing on the roadside in the rain and it hurt like hell. I also had severely bruised ribs from being sandwiched between the back of the seat in front of us and Li. I had slid into that space just prior to impact in order to protect her from hitting the seat. The shoulder hurt a lot, but the ribs were painful for weeks afterwards, especially when I coughed or sneezed.

Carl, I am sure it is way back there in the bowels of Candle somewhere but I am not sure of how to dig it out. There were several posts, actually. One deals with the events leading up to the meeting, including our flood of phone calls, emails, etc. - demanding a meeting. He finally relented, saying "Call off the dogs, call off the dogs." Then there is one that deals with Li and I being involved in a tragic bus accident on the way to Guangzhou. At least one person died, several were critically injured and I separated my shoulder. Then there are a few describing the meeting itself. All of them should be on or after February 8, 2003. I think our meeting was on February 10, but it may have been on the 8th. If they can't be located, I will try to write up a synopsis as time permits. Those were heady days, indeed. Owen Krout and his wife came back to Shantou with us after the meeting and visited for several days. Owen was a great guy. He went back to Kansas and kind of vanished.

I joined the board about one month after it started, I think it may have been the day after Christmas or therebouts. Li and I were living in China and her visa had been approved on August 20, 2002. Still, we could not pick up the visa because of some sort of "rule changes." We were told it would only be two weeks - a month tops. Har de har har har. Enter the Black Hole. We finally got the visa on March 10, 2003. I discovered Candle by accident really, while searching for any info I could find about these "rule changes." That was in November 2002 and like I said, I came on board in December. Over the years this community has meant a great deal to us. I thank PJ so much for starting the board and certainly Donahso for his leadership for so many years. And of course, Carl for all he does and has done over the years. I have seen so many folks come and go over the years, and some I am still in touch with. Some of the real old timers are still around. Robert S. still posts from time to time and I see that AZ Wolfman is back in the visa pipeline again. Both of them were around from the early days. Tine and Ella as well and I have seen Stats pop up on occasion. You can't imagine what this board meant to us back in those days of the Black Hole. For us, living in China, it was especially helpful because it was difficult to contact DOS and other stateside agencies. Of course, we were closer to Guangzhou but that didn't prove to be much help, until February, 2003 when myself and Owen Krout, another Candle member, got an audience with the head of the visa unit. That is a story in and of itself. Thanks to all of you......

I'm with you, Carl. I liked the horse a lot better.

Some people might get worried or a little anxious out in a boat like that, but as for me - I wouldn't fret. (How's that for a bad pun?)

Congrats and best wishes on a great life together.

Really great shots, Randy. Are the first few from West Lake area in Hangzhou? Li has a former classmate from college who lives in Hangzhou. Always enjoy visiting her as the city is one of my favorites.

Wow, Kim and Carl, you guys think far too highly of my level of knowledge and spiritual attainment. I struggle with the same issues as everyone else and probably fail more than most. I do, however, speak at churches from time to time, as well as service clubs like the Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions, Civitan, and also quite often at local chapters of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I would be honored to speak at the Chinese Baptist Church in Portland if I am ever out that way. I often wonder why these folks invite me to speak as I do not possess any great range of expertise in any area. That is not false humility, either - instead, it is a statement of fact.

Let's just hope this isn't a preview of coming attractions. Geologists have been predicting a major quake along the New Madrid Fault line for a couple of years now, with catastrophic results. The last big one to hit there was around 1811 - 1812 or thereabouts and rattled windows in Boston. The fault line runs right along the Mississippi River and includes the major population centers of Memphis and St. Louis. I don't know about St. Louis, but Memphis has not been built to withstand major earthquakes. I have a friend who works for FEMA that I met right after Hurricane Andrew in 1992 and he has been a valuable resource over the years. Just a few months back he told me that FEMA has been running internal drills with the imaginary scenario a big quake on the New Madrid Fault. I live about 180 miles due East of Memphis so we might get a good rattling but nothing too bad. We felt the shaking from the Kentucky 4.3. Stay tuned......

To all who have served and to those now serving, a heartfelt THANK YOU! We should never become so complacent that we take our freedoms for granted. Believe me, they were bought and paid for with a heavy price. For me, each Veterans Day is a mixed experience. I have a sense of gratitude, a feeling of pride for having served myself, but also, this day always brings back memories that bring on tears and pain. I recall so vividly holding some kid grunt and applying a pressure bandage trying in vain to stem the flow of blood, while I literally felt the life drift out of him. It happened over and over again. Such a feeling of helplessness and impotence - realizing I was dealing with something so much larger than myself. As I sit here and type this, the tears are flowing again and in an odd way, for that I am also grateful. If it didn't bother me still, I might as well be dead. I send up prayers of protection for our troops in combat as this day unfolds in lands far away. I send up prayers for their families who suffer in countless ways. And I send up prayers of healing for those who are still suffering from the ravages of having been in the cauldron of hell, whether in our current war or all that came before. I will also call my Dad today. Now 92, my father went ashore the second day on Omaha Beach. I will personally thank him for what he did all those many years ago. And I send up especially, prayers for peace.

That's great news, indeed. Like Carl said, she had an air-tight case with solid ties to the homeland.

Consider yourself fortunate in this regard. The next person through may have been asked to show everything but the kitchen sink. You never can tell with these folks. Congrats on the visa and sending you best wishes for a great future together.

If you go for the Zen approach, please keep in mind that there is a wide range of quality in terms of teachers and training centers. Atlanta has many I am sure. Also, with this sort of thing results come slowly, not overnight. It is a very subtle approach to human change, based on mindful living, shifts in perception of how things are, non-attachment to non-essentials, and the capacity to confront oneself with brutal honesty. If you are looking for a good Zen teacher, take your time and be highly selective. In Chinese, Zen is called Chan by the way. In Chinatown, you may hear it referred to that way. Most Buddhist from China are now associated with the Pure Land School (Jingtu), which is fine also but much different than the utter directness of Zen. David Dawei is also very knowledgeable in this area and also may have some great insights.

I hear you Cuzin', but sometimes these issues don't obey the laws of logic. It doesn't make sense that someone might want to stay angry all the time, unless, and this is the big "if" - unless that anger serves a purpose of some sort. I know in my own case my anger and rage after Nam, in addition to being justified, served a larger purpose. As long as I was angry, I didn't have to feel the intense pain buried underneath all the anger. Sometimes these things are sort of layered and when you get through one layer, you find the next one underneath until you reach the place of peace and healing. For me, those months meditating in the Arizona desert with those Zen monks led to the surfacing of these layers of intense emotion and gave me the opportunity to confront the demons head on. Don't know what may be down inside your lady but I wouldn't be surprised if the anger was a cover for something. Either way, you have to start with the anger. Of course, I could be way off base here as well so take all this with several large grains of salt.

Not familiar with Atlanta Charles, but I suspect that Emory University might be a good place to start. They have excellent counseling and psychological services there. Is she willing to attend?

Hey Robert, so good to hear from you again. Hope all is well with you and yours Old Timer! Speaking of WWII, my dad was an ambulance driver and went ashore at Omaha Beach on the second day of the invasion. My dad is now 92 and to this day he refuses to talk about some of the things he witnessed in that landing and afterwards. He served under Ike and named his firstborn son (me) after his General. (For those who don't know, my given name is Dwight - Mick being a nickname since childhood). Anyway, there are not many of those old warriors left.

Congrats and best wishes for a blessed future.

You're so right about my state of mind at the time, Kim. I should have been a lot worse off than I was. I think it was the ten months I spent out in the Arizona desert meditating with those Zen monks and facing some of my dark demons that brought me back around to at least a marginal grasp of sanity. As I have said before, those monks and especially the Abbot, gave me the gift of much healing. I went back to college, and after two semesters in Alabama, applied for the summer program at Georgetown. I was accepted with full scholarship and part of the gig was an internship on Capitol Hill. Although the program was run by an arch-conservative organization, I was more or less the token liberal in the bunch. They, to their credit, got me a placement at McGovern's headquarters, which was far outside their usual placement menu. It was a great experience, especially for a budding writer.

I spent the summer of 72 in D.C., studying at Georgetown and working in McGovern's campaign headquarters. He, too, was the first man I ever voted for in a Presidential election. A great man in my estimation.

Great news, indeed. So glad it all got resolved.

Hope ya'lls has a great trip up air tuh see the green lady cuzin tsapper. That big ol bus yore ridin on sounds like a mighty fine machine indeed, whut havin its own outhouse an awll. Enjoy that Brooklyn Bridge too. Ifin Wenyan bought it awile back, that makes it all the more special fer thuh two of you.