david_dawei

Each person will make that decision and the impacts when they get there. I only pointed out the preferred course is to get on the Hukou initially; WHen and if one might visit the US is a later issue .... often many years later. If we stick to the topic, Fulai plans to live in china for good... so that decision to visit the US is his and much later in time.

China "does not recognize that its citizens possess dual nationality" (Article 3) meaning that China will ignore any other nationalities its citizens have. The problem arises when the US paperwork/passport/visa is acquired, then the person usually loses their Hukou... ergo, their chinese national ID number. Most I've read/heard from will milk the Hukou/forego the US passport for as long as the child is in china.

What you need to know is whether the child can be registered in your wife's hukou. The basic answer is yes. Although the hukou will look at the birth paper which will show the father's name [as non-chinese] and there is no further checking that can be really done. But the child normally will go on the hukou and that is a big benefit over getting the USC recognized with papers. Once the latter is done, they cannot stay on the Hukou (as you pointed out). IMO, the Hukou will make most everything in china easier for the child, starting with school.

True... with the proper visa. The headache would be maintain the visa status over long periods of time.

Everything looks rather straightforward and her going to the US and returning to China each time shows her intent has not been misplaced. I might only steer clear of your meeting each other as sounding like it was friends 'match-making' for you. I have seen a few cases where a Chinese-turned-USC then meets a chinese lady through family or friends, and they have a tougher time with the visa. I think with your long time in the US that it should not be an issue but just means to keep the main focus of any letters on the two of you and the bond you share.

But the original issue of the visa was per he single status; if the consulate knew that changed they might be inclined to change their presumption on 'intent'... so the issue one is faced with is how far do you go to conceal the change in her status from the consulate, POE, customs, etc ? (Rhetorical, and no real answer being sought-just provoking some thought here). As well, if they go through customs, I would assume they go to the window together for checking their documents. If they are asked the simple question of how do you know each other, etc... we're back to how far does someone go to concealing their status... So, she could be coached to simply go through customs alone in the visitor side and not in the citizen side (with USC).

And the problem lies in the idea that the 'ends' matter most; the 'means' are irrelevant. This is another one of those west vs east may not see eye to eye with. I see it in every college paper my wife's daughter tries to write... the ending / conclusion statements are filling the paper without any proof (means) of how to arrive at that conclusion. It simply permeates them in many facets of life.

Well said.

Story today in china: A man gave his wife sleeping pills and after she fell asleep he brought to the the middle of a road and rode over her and returned home. Killing her [and trying to pass it off as an traffic accident by another vehicle] was cheaper than divorcing her. What he didn't figure into the equation was that traffic cameras caught it and he'll end up penniless nonetheless...

The pressure to pay is somewhat survival; settle on an amount instead of finding your life completely ruined paying till your gray. It is a kind of unspoken societal pressure to stay away from helping because your more likely to pay up as the good Samaritan. In fact, it is cheaper to [accidentally, of course) to run someone over and kill them than to have them survive; That is what a car's 'reverse' gear is good for in the driver's mind caught in this dilemma.

I think the idea that the 'best gets exported' may miss part of the western approach to retail; that design and marketing help drive markets. That Calvin Klein or even Coach purses are made in China is overlooked. Other designers as well. What we seem to overlook as well is that the common denominator is simply needle and thread, it ain't rocket science An interesting read may be: "How Luxury Lost Its Luster" by Dana Thomas

I don't disagree but I think the death penalty only partly explains the deterrence to crime in China. Gun laws may also contribute; and the survivalist mentality, etc.

Yes, a good and insightful article. thanks for sharing.

I have an American coworker who's of Japanese descent. He jokes by standing straight with hands at his side and then bows while saying "How you?" sounding like he's fresh off the boat. and the reverse problem is how to save face to not appear to be the stupid immigrant. The joke among chinese is easy: Just say, "Sayonara" (appear to be Japanese)

I finally watched this... no surprises really. And the usual suspect issues emerged in these cases. She is a 30 year old village girl who agrees to marry a western, sight-unseen... and her comments are very, very revealing; consider a few: I may be paraphrasing in some cases: 1. First english she speaks, quite clearly !! "We get money; buy home". the first words out of her mouth are about money... surprised? 2. "I always dreamed of coming here" -- concerning seeing the bridge... that seems metaphor for US 3. When asked if she loves Steven... she can only use the word "Care". 4. "I can't get a chinese man..." -- Village problem. Trading up is rather easy to do with a western man over a chinese from the city. 5. When directly asked by the producer: Was on website to meet a chinese man. The last one shows that she is influenced by a chinese producer... she didn't want to lose face to another chinese by admitting she was on the website to find a western man. There is almost no doubt why she is on the internet given even the little one knows. Her struggle to stay (or not) with the man is understandable but the 'lost of face' weighed very heavily on her and why she couldn't return to china... A big question might be: Why did she remain at various points? IMO, one has to realize the village situation. She had already 'traded up' at this point; she can ride out time and future without trying to trade-up so fast again. The one weakness in the show is the limited time we see. We can't see to what extremes she went to finally be able to secure money. She wanted to be a nurse and the husband's response was typical of his inability to really make her "feel happy' , which is what she said is about all she wants from him. I take this ambition to be a nurse, the quip to 'buy a house', the deep concerns over 'face' and money is enough to show what her goals are. In the end, I am not sure who is more out of touch with the realities of what was going on: 1. Chinese lady 2. American man 3. Producer 4. Producer's husband They were all completely unaware of what the others are going through. The chinese lady is probably the most understood, IMO. I get her motivations and problems coming from a village. The USC is typically unfit and ill-prepared for a chinese lady; particularly one from a village. The Producer is so naive about chinese it is amazing; and the producer's husband is clueless as the outsider. I personally don't think the producer or her husband really grasp what is going on throughout the whole thing.

Some might remember member (Gary) Lucky 爱人 , who also had other past names (I think something like DragonFan). He was involved in a fatal car accident and died last weekend. His wife arrived in the US last year and the son just arrived within a few weeks. I don't really have any other information. I just hope it can cause us to pause a moment and be as safe as we can; particularly for the sake of our spouses.

That is the point: APPEARANCE MATTER TOO MUCH... they buy foreign because they believe it is better or makes them look better... One can see this in fashion wears as well: Gucci, CK, LV, etc... To be fair: The engineer may very well be better... but one should not overlook the basic point that they want to simply "look good"; Appearances...

I think there may be some small comparisons going on which are apples and oranges. Social Harmony has been a historical concern in Chinese history but it is not the same concept in the west where protection of individualism is more important. This seems from the difference in how 'law' arose. In the concept of [social and political] Law and Order: The US focuses on the former and China on the latter. In each respect, one loses something of the other.

Why not just transfer the money to the US bank? Bank of America said they had no limit... so they accept anything sent... We just sent some, without any fee. http://candleforlove.com/forums/topic/43272-can-i-open-a-bank-account-that-works-in-both-the-us-and-china/?p=599223

Another FYI for all: We just transferred a decent sum from BOC to BOA. BOA usually charges $16 for a receiving transaction but they waived the fee due to my account status. Also, BOA does not have a limit on the receiving end. Button was pushed last night and showed up this morning in the account as 'pending'.

In chinese medicine, one combats 'heat' with 'cooling'. Thus, the cooling teas (like Wang Lao Ji) are common. While there are any number of cooling remedies one could use, chinese may still prefer tea so as to not directly introduce something cold directly into their body. Hot tea, although a cooling one does double duty as it causes one to sweat from the hot temperature but that is still good towards detoxing the body. But thinking anything of a cooling inherent nature.

Let's not speak of personal shortcomings... please... Her hygene for what? You grouped her hygene (we'll ignore the years of spelling mistakes) with some may she is obsessive... what exactly are her hygene requirements in life? Do they differ in china and US?

While most of the hygiene demands are practical, added up in some and it seems to reach obsession levels... but when one considers their fear of acquiring some sickness if they even touch a single object, then the obsession gets back to being understood better.

I guess it is knowing where to shop and eat. 30RMB a day: Breakfast: 3.5 Reganmian and tea -streetfood Lunch at work: 1.5 Baozi and tea; 3.5 Noodle Veggie and Pork soup; 3 jiaozi Supper at home: 4 Three vegetables; 3 Meat; 2 Tofu; ...tea and rice 5 Smokes 3 Beer There is definitely truth in knowing where to shop and eat... My wife would go from Fushun to Shenyang to buy anything of worth and quality; she wasn't about to buy something which needs replacing anytime soon. So while I do agree as Tsap's is saying, that those in cities like Fushun tend not to spend so much on extravagance, they will look for quality and that can cost more; but if it last 10 years (ie: purse) then they feel they have gotten a good deal. Is that 3 RMB for a single beer? What brand? I could hardly find a decent beer at a decent price in all my trips to China. One worry about the street food is that while it is cheap, many worry that they cut corners and add stuff to the food to stretch it out so they make more money. An interesting observation my wife had was that she never really understood money till she came to the US. Although an accountant and thrifty, her meaning was that money doesn't last in china. The percentage of monthly income spent went fast. But to keep perspective, she was a single mom paying her child through school. Those that know, know they are paying at every grade level. And if you want your child to excel, you pay for tutors and certain schools.

In Fushun, her pay was (is) 2400 RMB a month. Rent for a studio apartment is 500 RMB. So anything worth living in is closer to 1000 RMB. Buying basic meat like ribs for a meal is an easy 100 RMB. In the US, you could buy ribs for a month or more on that. The same problem with clothes... Relatively speaking, they get much less buying power from what I have seen. And if your living off 30 RMB a month, then your living much more village style instead of socially with family and friends as you will eventually need to pay a lot more for eating out as a group... or your living off everyone else when you go out...