Dan R

I remember that place well Dan. That was some good eating that morning. We just had a place open here in Modesto that serves dim sum but I haven't got the nerve to take Jen to try it. I'm afraid to see what it is like if they Americanize the menu. Besides, I'm still coming down from having the real deal in China. Welcome back Jim, but did you have to remind me you were enjoying the real stuff

Yes there are many situations where treading lightly, side stepping and knowing how to duck quickly make some conversations go much smoother and less painfully. David I'm surprised. I thought you were more careful than that. We reached agreement on what will happen if I do the D thing. My son in law will handle everything and that is that nothing to talk about. Subject closed.

Dan, No can do! I think that we are both training eash other. Dave Yeh right, keep us informed on the saga of fitting a big round peg to a small square hole. Let us know which wears down more but remember Chinese women WILL go their way even if it regards American things you thought you explained. Oh and of course she is right.

Stop wasting time man! Go with the flow and stop resisting training. There is no direct translation between English and Chinese for logic. It is just too culturally bound. Your resistance is futile. Now go make her and you a Bailey's. Sit down with her and thank her for introducing you to such a nice drink that makes you sleep well. Enjoy

Eating organic is a precaution. You just have no idea what is in the regular. Produce comes from all over the world. We import things from countries where pesticides that are banned here are used. The funny thing is those banned products are sent to those countries from American chemical production. The idea was we protect our people and they can decide if they want to protect theirs. That was before everything imaginable was being imported. The organic choice is not so much about length of life but the quality of it when you are older. Things catch up with us affecting memory, immune system, joints and etc. We really are what we eat and breath. It is what our cells are built from. It would also be important to know if the organic things grew next to a heavily travelled road with diesel exhaust. If so it really makes no difference. The better way to buy is from your local farmers market. My wife and I have a garden so we can grow organic vegetables, raise our chicken¡¯s free range for eggs and meat, plus have fresh fruit from our vines and trees. The chickens eliminate most of the insects so we haven¡¯t any need for pesticides. Much better than a farmer's market

Eating organic is a precaution. You just have no idea what is in the regular. Produce comes from all over the world. We import things from countries where pesticides that are banned here are used. The funny thing is those banned products are sent to those countries from American chemical production. The idea was we protect our people and they can decide if they want to protect theirs. That was before everything imaginable was being imported. The organic choice is not so much about length of life but the quality of it when you are older. Things catch up with us affecting memory, immune system, joints and etc. We really are what we eat and breath. It is what our cells are built from. It would also be important to know if the organic things grew next to a heavily travelled road with diesel exhaust. If so it really makes no difference. The better way to buy is from your local farmers market.

Basicly Feng Shui (Wind Water) is a system of maintaining harmony through balance with the environment. In harmony the mind, body and spirit are in good health and have good fortune. Out of balance causes ill health or misfortune. Often it becomes more a matter of superstitions than achieving harmony through balance with the environment. Directional influences play a large role. Most shamanistic systems rely heavily on directions and nature. This begins with where the sun rises and sets as well as which direction bad winds come from. I find it very interesting that the Navajo have a similar system that also guides them in home entrances and other things. The Navajo also share sand painting as a medicine with the Tibetans.

While Buddhists in some countries take doing no harm to any animal as requiring vegetarianism and to an extreme avoiding animal products, this is not usually followed in China. Chinese are a practical people beyond all else. Even if she were a nun keeping vegetarian she might have a Tibetan Buddhist painting done on leather as a canvas. Yes this is a Tibetan custom. It would be worse to waste the skin of an animal that had died than not use the skin. Vegetarianism for most devot Chinese Buddhists is limited to the 15th of the month.Some will add the first. Like all religion how it is applied is an individual thing. Better to discuss with the person you are concerned about. An interesting thing in the U.S. is that there is allowed Buddhist slaughter exemption even though slaughtering an animal violates Buddhism. Chinese sell and cook slaughtered birds with the feet and heads attached. This violates U.S. federal law requiring full inspection of birds for wholesomeness. Leaving the head and feet attached is a cultural requirement. Culture is not an acceptable reason under the law for violating full inspection for disease. Religous requirement is. So a Buddhist standard was developed for the exemption. In order to leave the head and feet on, a Buddhist Priest must write a letter requesting the procedure. I had this done. The Priest was very puzzled and amuzed over this. Chickens and ducks with feet attached must have been slaughtered under either a Kosher, Halal or Buddhist religious exemption in the U.S..

That should do it. You Win, I htink. Sounds like he has no problem passing when he is back here.

There is another issue here that is not racism but politics. It is only a few years since many places were off limits to foreigners. For 3 generations Americans were the enemy to be despised. It is only one generation since the government position changed to open to Americans. Even now the government position is not as friends but tolerated keep your guard up enemy. For the sake of the Chinese economy China has opened up. The government can change position simply by a decision made at the top. It takes the masses longer. While walking with friends, particularly in smaller cities, I have heard people say something disparaging about Americans. In those areas French and Russian are more welcome because the government welcomed them throughout the antiAmerican period. As for Racism, I have never experienced antisemitism in Asia like I have in the U.S.. In fact knowing I am Jewish is usually a plus in Asia. Prejudice is a human characteristic. China is a very prejudiced country and has been throughout recorded history of contacts with outsiders (Laowai). As was pointed out earlier Chinese are prejudiced against each other for city, region, school attended and many other things. At least we have moved from the Barbarians or Capitalist Demon Pigs to semi-acceptable Others. Jim twenty years ago a hotel would have lost their operators license for admitting you if they didn't have a government authorization to admit foreigners posted with their license.

Definitely Jim, very inappropriate and highly risky. You could loose all you have in a law suit for age descrimination. As to the original question..... I don't think anyone would be offended at a white guy wondering about things. Unless of course he is wondering about me! Oh and could you please reword this thread to "white person". Thank you very much. Poor poor Danny boy, don't look at yourself as being a "white person", look at yourself as being a pigmentally impaired person!! Or perhaps a mentally impaired pig person?? well you get the idea Gee thanks for setting me straight on this issue Trigg. I know I can always depend on you to clear the confusion.

Definitely Jim, very inappropriate and highly risky. You could loose all you have in a law suit for age descrimination. As to the original question..... I don't think anyone would be offended at a white guy wondering about things. Unless of course he is wondering about me! Oh and could you please reword this thread to "white person". Thank you very much.

Why can't she request the police report by mail?

Congratulations! Enjoy the visit. I think your experience will give hope to many others.

If you have a good attitude about learning as you go, I think it is better than trying to anticipate. You really wont know you have a cultural difference until you bump into it. Some things are just amusing. Others can be annoyances, while some are Ah Has why don't we do it that way. Then there are the how can they do anything so illogical differences. Start out with that the water stays in the tub even if you need to clean the bathroom difference. That can lead to expensive repairs. And you make darn sure to buy yourself slippers to wear in the house. I think the rest can be worked out. Read the threads here. There are many culture stories told. Oh, and be ready to start training.

Be very careful about what you bring back from a news article........ The DEA made a proud announcement this past week that it had snared 55 individuals in countrywide raids on businesses allegedly manufacturing, importing and selling bongs, pipes, scales and other varieties of "illegal drug paraphernalia." Amidst all the "that's one for the good guys" back-slapping and alarmist rhetoric emanating from the various law-enforcement agencies involved, however, there was no mention of anything being done to physically curb the actual drug trade that enables the paraphernalia business to take in an estimated $50 million ( U.S. ) in the States annually. Drug paraphernalia is illegal for import. You can try declaring "traditional Chinese pipes" or simply "antiques" (over 75 years old). If they are siezed be prepared for the lose. I would declare "folk crafts" and take the risk of being checked unless they are expensive.

You are using a cosponsor. Supply all the evidence you can that they can support and meet the minimum financial requirements. If retired, what income does he have? Give proof! bank statement, letter from bank, income tax copies, social security or other retirement benefit statements (6 months). They are asking for proof which has not yet been satisfied. Get everything together and present it. This is the time for throwing in the kitchen sink.

Best wishes to both of you. (May your training be gentle )

Sounds yummy! Some may be similar to a meal I had near Penglai, Shandong (same region). The "run run" shell fish, I wonder is that sea urchin? You know the orangish soft shellfish at the sushi bars. The Chinese seafood stores in L.A. used to sell fish innards from barrels on the weekends until the health department stopped them. Somebody should get that approved as edible in the U.S.. Most people don't realize that until it has been proven safe government agencies regard anything as inedible. The orginal list made about 100 years ago was based on the northern European diet. In the past 20 years there have been many items added as the population diversifies. I can tell she is really enjoying herself!

I would recommend the Langenscheidt pocket Chinese-English English-Chinese Dictionary is very easy to use. It gives pin yin and hanzi so it is good for learning.

None if both follow their religions and give each other and the children unselfish love. I would guess though that it will depend largely on the couple and outside pressure on them. If the Christian believes the rest of the family will go to hell without becoming Christian then it will continually put pressure on the other family members as well as the Christian to do what they think is right. If you are speaking of two spiritual people who are not so concerned with the dogma of organized religion, then I go back to my first sentence.

This was on the internet news: American Buddhism on the rise By Jane Lampman, Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor Thu Sep 14, 4:00 AM ET CAMBRIDGE, MASS. - That genial face has become familiar across the globe - almost as recognizable when it comes to religious leaders, perhaps, as Pope John Paul II. When in America, the Dalai Lama is a sought-after speaker, sharing his compassionate message and engaging aura well beyond the Buddhist community. After inaugurating a new Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education in Vancouver, B.C., the Tibetan leader this week begins a visit to several US cities for public talks, sessions with young peacemakers, scientists, university faculty, corporate executives, and a California women's conference. But he'll also sit down for teach-ins among the burgeoning American faithful. Buddhism is growing apace in the United States, and an identifiably American Buddhism is emerging. Teaching centers and sanghas (communities of people who practice together) are spreading here as American-born leaders reframe ancient principles in contemporary Western terms. Though the religion born in India has been in the US since the 19th century, the number of adherents rose by 170 percent between 1990 and 2000, according to the American Religious Identity Survey. An ARIS estimate puts the total in 2004 at 1.5 million, while others have estimated twice that. "The 1.5 million is a low reasonable number," says Richard Seager, author of "Buddhism in America." That makes Buddhism the country's fourth-largest religion, after Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. Immigrants from Asia probably account for two-thirds of the total, and converts about one-third, says Dr. Seager, a professor of religious studies at Hamilton College, in Clinton, N.Y. What is drawing people (after that fascination with Zen Buddhism in the '50s and '60s)? The Dalai Lama himself has played a role, some say, and Buddhism's nonmissionizing approach fits well with Americans' search for meaningful spiritual paths. "People feel that Buddhist figures like the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh of Vietnam are contributing something, not trying to convert people," says Lama Surya Das, a highly trained American lama in the Tibetan tradition. "They are not building big temples, but offering wisdom and ways of reconciliation and peacemaking, which are so much needed." Even a larger factor, he suggests, is that Buddhism offers spiritual practices that Western religions haven't emphasized. "People are looking for experiential practices, not just a new belief system or a new set of ethical rules which we already have, and are much the same in all religions," Surya Das says. "It's the transformative practices like meditation which people are really attracted to." At a sangha "sitting" in Cambridge, Mass., last week, some 20 devotees sat cross-legged on four rows of large burgundy-colored cushions before a small candlelit altar. A practice leader led a quiet hour of meditation interspersed with the chanting of prayers and mantras. The group then gathered in a circle for a half hour of discussion. Carol Marsh, an architect who served as practice leader for the evening, had an interest in finding a spiritual path for years, but was "resistant to anything nonrationalist," she says afterward in an interview. "Then I read 'Awakening the Buddha Within,' [surya Das's first book on 'Tibetan wisdom for the Western world'], and it spoke to me directly.... My ultimate aim is liberation." After eight years of practicing, "I am happier, more grateful, more able to roll with whatever punches or moments of annoyance may present themselves," Ms. Marsh says. What's so valuable to Jane Moss, who's been practicing 15 years, is learning how "to be in the present moment." And also to accept that reality involves perfection and "to view the world as good and people as basically loving." Each month, the group holds a meditation focused on love and compassion. The sangha has been meeting since 1991, when Surya Das opened the Dzogchen Center here after decades of training with Tibetan teachers. Before becoming a lama, he was Jeffrey Miller, raised in a middle-class Jewish family in Brooklyn. An anti-Vietnam-War activist while at the University of Buffalo (N.Y.), he was stunned when his good friend Allison Krause was shot and killed by the National Guard at Kent State in 1970. "When I graduated in 1972, I was disillusioned with radical politics - I realized fighting for peace was a contradiction in terms, and I wanted to find inner peace," he explains. Instead of graduate school, the young Miller headed off on a search that ended up in the Himalayas, where he spent the rest of the '70s and '80s learning from Buddhist teachers while teaching some of them English. There were plenty of struggles and moments of doubt, but also illumination, he says. Following a centuries-old path to cultivate awareness, his training included two three-year retreats of intensely focused practice. "One of the great lessons of that monastic brotherhood was learning to love even those people I didn't like," he says, speaking by phone from a retreat in Texas where he's training others. There are many schools of Buddhism, but "everyone agrees that the purpose is the individual and collective realization of Enlightenment," Surya Das continues. "That is defined as nirvanic peace, wisdom, and selfless love. It involves a practice path that depends on meditation, ethical behavior, and developing insight and active love." Buddha means "awakened" in Sanskrit, a language of ancient India, where Siddhartha Gautama founded the faith and an Eightfold Path some 2,500 years ago. Buddhists believe that through that path one awakens to what already is - "the natural great perfection." They do not speak of God, but of the human or ego mind with a small "m," and the Buddha (awakened) Mind with a big "m." "Healing energy takes place through an agency far greater than, yet immanent in each of us," Surya Das has written. "We are all Buddhas." One doesn't have to subscribe to a catechism or creed, or be a vegetarian. Nor do people have to give up their religion. That's why some Americans speak of being Jewish Buddhists, for instance. The Dalai Lama, in fact, often encourages people to stay with the faith of their cultural upbringing, to avoid the confusion that can sometimes result from a mixing of Eastern and Western perspectives. Yet others are going more fully into Buddhist study, particularly as the writings and training by American-born teachers increase its accessibility. The Dzogchen Center (Dzogchen means "the innate great completeness"), which has sanghas in several states, teaches an advanced Tibetan practice; annually, it offers numerous retreats, from one-day to two-week gatherings. Surya Das - whose Tibetan teacher gave him his name, which means "follower or disciple of the light" - is the spiritual director. Thirty devotees are currently cloistered in a 100-day retreat for advanced students at the Dzogchen retreat center outside Austin, Texas. They are in the third of a 12-year cycle of silent retreats - which will likely produce new teachers. Several Tibetan teachers helped introduce Buddhism in the US, and one, Chogyam Trungpa, founded Naropa University in Boulder, Colo. But the teacher succumbed to excesses that tempt clergy of various faiths - alcoholism and sexual misconduct. The Dalai Lama has warned, too, of some teachers who seek leadership for financial rather than spiritual reasons. The issue of students and teachers is today one of the most controversial in transmission of teaching from East to West, says Surya Das. Still, a healthy American Buddhism with its own characteristics is emerging. It is less doctrinal and ritualistic than in the East and more meditation oriented, less hierarchical and more democratic and egalitarian. It is more lay-oriented than monastic, and more socially and ecologically engaged. Perhaps most noticeably, "the role of women as leaders and teachers is very significant here," Seager says. The Dalai Lama speaks of Buddhism naturally taking new forms in each culture. As he travels the globe, he also emphasizes building bridges between faiths, as well as finding nonviolent means for resolving differences. This weekend, the Nobel Peace Laureate will spend time with youths in Denver engaged in conflict-resolution projects. He'll bless the Great Stupa, the largest example of Buddhist sacred architecture in the US, located at Colorado's Shambhala Mountain Center. Next week he'll speak to 20,000 at a football stadium in Buffalo, and at the alma mater of Surya Das, who was one of his attendants for several years. The American lama will also speak. "Buddhism made me a mensch and brought me happiness," Surya Das concludes contentedly, "and helped me find my place in life and the universe."

Try Hawaii Market at Del Mar and Valley it is cheaper. We don't use meat at home and yes home Chinese meals are better than the restaurants. About half the time when we go out it is for Korean Food. Yes sometime we should meet up.

So where did you guys go Dennis? Was that NBC Seafood on Atlantic? That was where we went for CFL Dim Sum. Or perhaps it is that place a few doors south of the corner of Garfield and Valley. There are every region's food between Monterey Park and Rosemead. The restaurants usually have written in Hanzi the style on the sign or window. We mostly go to Sichuan, Shanghai and Liaoning. If you want hot pot try the restaurant in Sunny Plaza on Valley just west of San Gabriel Blvd. Do you do grocery shopping at Hawaii Market? It is cheaper than 99 Ranch.

Bring pictures with family, especially the wedding. Any trips or activities together bring proof of like tickets, hotel receipts and again pictures. Be sure to have evidence of any joint accounts or ownerships like property or bank accounts, etc. Is there a will naming you as beneficiary or insurance policies. These are proof of commitment.