Cerberus

Thanks for the reply. Would you have a better approach to suggest? There will be a divorce following an almost 2 year abandonment by soon to be ex-wife. (One of the personal issues I previously spoke of). I want to show officials that I was very serious and committed! Been such a long time since I dealt with this issue. I had forgotten that K3s were an old dinosaur!

Greetings all, I have been noticeably absent, and for several very personal reasons. My reasons are no reflection on this forum. Perhaps, I can do a later posting in regards to my not posting, and a bit of history. I'm returning to this forum for a request for information. The question revolves around the final "drop dead" age of a possible step daughtter and her immigration to the US. I performed a search and located this link for finale age of 21. Here is the link: http://candleforlove.com/forums/topic/46846-k2-age-out-and-aos/?hl=%2BAge+%2BLimits+%2BChildren&do=findComment&comment=626835. It gave information of 21 (22 prior to adjustment, etc.), and this was for a K1 & K2. If all works well I will be pursuing a K3 & 4 visa. Questions: 1. What is the official "drop dead" date of a Chinese step child from China for a K3 visa? 2. If it is 18, is this age open to waivers? My thanks to all in advance. Dave

Robert, Boy can I ever relate to several statements you made: REAL Chinese women never accept clues when someone Western attempts to help them with “clues” to pass any type of tests. I don’t know why that some Chinese women don’t understand this. YEP! This includes my own wife Yin! The she comes home and complains that they were against her because she is Chinese. I have learned to pick my battles now, and simply agree. God! I’m such a pussy! Why do our wives decide the best way to remedy a situation: is to return to China for a real doctor, hair-dresser for styling or hair color, etc., etc.? Like there aren’t competent and more qualified people in the US, and Chinese to boot if you select as such. E.G.; Yin wanted her hair colored. She rejected several good hair dressers that are very reputable and take as long as three months just for an appointment, which I was able to bypass. She rejected all of them, and I was relegated as the competent person. I became the competent person, and I panicked and did a hasty research on the Internet of how to color hair. I did well; but the wife still thought Chinese hairdressers would be better! LOL! Enjoy being the taxi driver Robert! You ain’t the first; or the last either! After 9 years of marriage; I’m still dealing with this particular issue, and nor for just driving either! Dave

Peterh, " DNoblett is absolutely correct. As long as you don't exit the immigration "secure" zone; you will have no problems. I can't remember, but you better-half might check with information. I believe that there are short-term layover hotels wirhin this zone . Depending on layover time;she/you can get a place to shower, sleep a few hours, etc. I apologize that it is a while since I flew through Narita. The last time I went through they are very similar to Bangkok. These hotel are very inconspicious, so please ask. They are not the Hilton. However! A great place to hang your for a couple of hours and "recoop." Frequent Flier mileage does drop the cost a bit. Not bragging, but I hit Platium Execuetive status. I am consistently reminded of these perks by the Club. If a lower class the price goes up. The food in Narita is a killer; and she will need extra cash. I mean even for noodle soup. Since she is in the zone; I suggest she pack some pastries/quick food from China. No fresh fruit, since Japanese are really leery of fresh goods from China. My wife has flown this route and gotten away with some quick microwave noodles. Getting lost in Narita is almost an impossibility. The Japanese have a system to guide every traveler, no matter what language they speak. If you wife gets lost, have her ask one of these escort ladies, or merely show them the tickets. Sadly; the Japanese make this system foolproof,while in LAX/La Guardia we are left to our own devices. Your wife's problems will be in the US. Basically, at the very first point of Customs/Immigations entry point. Now! Problems begin!I would suggest concentrating very hard in this area. That is when it gets really daunting. I have the same problems with a 7-year married Chinese wife, with all the proper approved paperwork, passports, visa, etc. I would suggest to have a nearly complete Visa paket in her hands, which is very similar to the enclosed brown envelope. I'm just thinking pro-active. My own wife, which arrived in 2004; will have bank and savings account statements, a copy of the appeoved Extended Stay document, 991 and Passport. Such is the cross we bear as American husbands, for our Chinese wives. Dave

Griz, Long time not being around. Very informed view of final arrangements. I know that my own wife would become lost in the process. You and many others are keenly aware of the sensitivity of Chinese, death issues of spouse, life insurance, etc., etc. After 5 years of marriage, my better-half finally acknowledged eventual consquences, for the both of us, and began to openly talk about it, and take steps into the future. Now two wills, w/life insurance, to include final arrangements for both are in place. It only took 5 years. You're advice is dead on target. Other members should discuss this before-hand, and be prepared. Chinese superstitions or not. Beware new and other older members; this is a very serious matter, and they (Chinese) will recoil from the idea as being totally repugnant. There is one thing that you didn't put in your post; D.E.R. (Do Not Resitate). Each state has specific laws in regard to hesitation of a patient, which may have a cardiac rest, resulting from prior hospitilzation. Some states require a caregiver to do everything possible to save a patient. Other states have different laws, and YMMV. My new job requires me to travel to extremely hazardous areas (e.g. Nigeria, Pakistan, Ivory Coast, etc.). Yin and I have discussed it, and I have a built-in DNR order. Yin understands this and knows that I'm unafraid of death. Well! Maybe a little bit! However! I digress from the issue. Yin and I have discussed this issue ahead of time, and after that Griz's information is dead on target. The only issue, which I have NOT discussed with Yin; is kidnap insurance! Yes! VERY real!. The last job I was on in Nigeria (45 days or so), required a 25 million, kidnap surety bond to be emplaced for each individual team member. The nicest part is that no oil corporation wants to pay. Ergo; each team member generally had one or two "machine-gunned equipped" guards in the immediate area. It was very safe. These guards are nuts. The Nigerian guards we had, need little or no excuse to fire. I have seen death before, but not so balant. These men make the Mexican Zeta cartel look like Girl Scouts. Yes! I carry the necessary paperwork wirh me always. Such are the nessesities of life and death. Dave

Saga 1: After her recent arrival to the US (2005), my wife prepared grilled fish for the both of us, in the married couple’s dorm of the university I was attending, as I was still finishing the final requirements of my degree. My wife did this cooking as a surprise for me, to show her adaptability to the US; in cooking, care of her new husband, and as a surprise for me. I did get the surprise part. I arrived home, and saw the smoke in our home from recent cooking by my wife, but nothing was on fire. I assumed that everything was okay, and the smoke was left-over from some secret Chinese cooking method, of one sort or another! I'm a wise Westerner, and I know when to keep my mouth shut, and when not to ask questions in a home, which is ruled Chinese mistress! Wrong! I inquired what the dinner was, and she proudly announced to me that she had prepared Chinese grilled fish with a Sichuan recipe, which also contained with a mixture of special Chinese herbs, and a spectacular " secret" Chinese sauce, which she had marinated the fish in, and then used the marinade juices after thickening, to glaze the fish while grilling it! BTW, the fish was about 14” long striped-bass, we had purchased maybe three days previously. Then an errant thought hit me! “Wait a minute we don’t have a grill! How in the name of Hell did she pull this off?” I got my answer soon enough! I sat the table, overlooked the table's fare, and my eyes alighted on the fish in a separate plate all by itself. Then I saw the grill marks on the fish. The grill marks were in a consistent and had evenly spaced arc patterns on the sides of the fish. While my wife was not looking; I slightly tilted the fish up a bit, and peeked underneath. Yep! The same patterns were on the opposite side of the fish, too! Circular and concentric grill marks on the grilled fish! WTF? YEP! Here it comes! With the Chinese people; necessity is the Mother of invention. My wife had lovingly grilled the fish on the stove top with the large burner! I do have to give my wife credit, when credit is due! Due to the length of the fish; she had to take 4 whacks at it (two per side) to get the entire length, of both sides of the fish. I will also admit that the fish was delicious and was entirely consumed. The next day; the cleaning of the large stove element was an absolute bitch. Yep! I’m lazy. I went to Lincoln, NE to a local hardware store and purchased a new burner pan and element! Shortly thereafter; I went another store to purchase a small portable Japanese-style hibachi grill, too! Saga 2: I was still in school, had the same circumstances as Saga 1. My wife was cooking for a college friend and I, of which had I invited to lunch at my apartment with my new Chinese wife, and had duly discussed with her two days in advance, to avoid any surprises. My wife had previously stated that she she wanted to impress my friends of what good of a Chinese wife she was, and wanted to meet them. Damn my eyes! Gentlemen and Ladies; when you hear your fiancee/fiance say words like these.... WATCH OUT! There is a disaster heading in your direction! If something; and mean anything goes wrong or is missing! Watch your 6 o'clock! Yin had been preparing the lunch for all of us. Since he was an American man, she had decided to make stir fired potato slivers , with fresh Chinese chili peppers as a side dish. Twice cooked Pork was the main entree. Unfortunately, she had run out of red peppers for the potatoes. Remember what I said previously stated about Chinese? “…necessity is the Mother of invention.” She looked around and saw my Thai Pepper plant (used for ornamental purposes only), and she tried one. Anyone that is nuts enough to eat one on these thermonuclear devices in their mouths; has my utmost respect to them. For those that don’t understand what I’m talking about; here is what they look like: http://www.thefloweringgarden.com/pics/thai-chili-pepper1.jpg She got about thirteen of them, sliced them into slivers, and awaited our arrival home. My friend and I arrived at our home. Yin began cooking to insure that we had hot and fresh food which she had prepared. Into the wok went the oil and properly heated, to a small smoking point. In went the garlic and salt. Then the potatoes were added and which was immediately followed by the 13 sliced previously mentioned sliced Thai peppers. What happened when those peppers hit the hot oil? Immediately, there was a fog which overtook the kitchen and then went to the rest of the apartment. It resembled a chemical attack of the Iraqi’s and Chemical Ali on the Kurd's! We immediately abandoned the apartment, with eyes stinging/watering, lungs gasping for air, and choking sensations which caused extended coughing. I got the worst of it, since I had sense enough to turn off the burners before I abandoned ship. It took us about half of the day to get the apartment aired out. Yep! I had had to call the Chairman of the NDT Department, and explain why I took a half-day off from school. His wife and himself had met Yin, and knew that she was a recent arrival to the US. His wife had taken my wife under her wing to assist, and loved her to death. Of course there were the usual questions from him to me, as to the nature of my emergency. I tried to explain succinctly and logically. My explanations had a reverse effect! All I heard was laughter on the other end of the line, and his final words: “Bill come here! You gotta’ hear this one!” Bill Wiley was another NDT instructor of mine. Guess whom was waiting for me the next day, when I arrived for my classes? Both of them, and another two instructors they had told about the incident, and they wanted to meet the husband of this woman! I did notice that they still had residual tears, and I suspect from laughter! After 6 years of marriage she hasn’t done this once! Knock on wood! However! I still keep a wary eye out! I will point out that sometimes, stupidity does cause ourselves to love someone even more! JUST be proactive! Keep a fire extinguisher, well-supplied first aid kit, and a fan nearby. Then have the ability to laugh about it later. BTW! That is why I have the avatar I do. SHIT HAPPENS. But just to me!

Dan, You the MAN! My most sincere thanks to you. I haven't see you screw up once regards to immigration advice. Regard to Question 1; I suspected, but couldn't say for sure myself. I have never heard of it before, but regard to myself; this a frog's view from the bottom of a well. I'm NOT all-knowing. That is why I wanted to ask others. Regards to Question 2 and 3: I suspect that he will have to front load the crap out of it. From a personal perspective when we talked today: I was absolutely shocked that he hasn't even started gathering/archiving any information, which all of us in CFL routinely are knowledgeable about. It seems like he simply thought that the immigration process would be so easy (after all he is in the US! Right? ) , he didn't have to do a damned thing except, put an application in the mail! Dumbass! From a country (Philippines) absolutely rife with sham marriages, going to the US, and slipping by USCIS, in these economic times? Is he kidding me? That is why I stated; the most positive thing that I can see with their immigration application; is that he is Filipino (male term) , and she is a Filipina (female term), and not an intercultural marriage. Otherwise, they would really be screwed! To add to your thoughts/advice; I was shocked to see that the man hadn't even started to document his relationship, and then was going to drop on USCIS an application, and the application would just sail through! I mean NO telephone logs (uses a prepaid telephone card), photo's of them both with something to show dates, commonly presented cards between a couple (e.g birthday, Xmas, miss-you cards, etc, etc. I mean nothing has been retained and/or archived for future interviews, which all of CFL members know will be coming! Crap! Any member of CFL failed to do this; a Chinese woman/man fiancee would jack their future better-half's ass up into unbelievable heights! Chinese women/men whom have never been to the US, know these facts and what they need. I'm putting together hyper-links for him, and I will include your links from VisaJourney. I also will encourage him to join this forum. At very least; he can get some insight of the future/ interviews/processes. Obviously, he doesn't have a clue yet! BTW the name is Louie Felipe. He is is really a nice guy, but a bit naive. My thanks again for the quick response. Louie is coming by this Sunday, and we are going to have a damned long conversation. And people wonder why USCIS is so cold-heart, and the get blue/white slips! Myself, I believe in the 6 P's: Prior Planning Prevents, Piss Poor Performance. Well! Into the barrel again! Why do I get the dolts at my doorstep? Dave

To CFL Members at large, I know that this is a board designed for Chinese/American Immigration issues. However, it is absolutely stuffed with USCIS processes, application tips,interview advice, and generally very good advice for any immigrant. This being said, I have a particular problem, and it is in regard to a co-worker. I believe the processes will be approximately the same, with one or two variations thrown in. I will try to be brief: 1) He is from the Philippines and is a former US Navy sailor, honorably discharged, and is currently employed in San Diego. He makes approximately 42K a year, so when we talked; poverty guidelines immediately kicked in, and who else has he sponsored. He has co-sponsored via I-864 a bother and two sons. Therefore, he is on the proverbial " " hook", and when he sponsors his wife, the determining family size will be four people, using 2009 Federal poverty guidelines. He should be alright according to my calculations. 2) He be will be marrying a Filipina fiancee. He assumed that the K3 guidelines were still in place, which all of us know this was the age of dinosaurs, and is now K1 or IR1/CR1. Therefore, he will be using this process for the CR1 visa. I did advise him that it takes longer, but will save them money in the long run (AOS and all that crap). QUESTIONS: 1. Even though he co-sponsored his brother/2 sons, and the brother is now working (not a great job, but working); is he able to transfer co-sponsorship back to the birth father? I personally suspect not, until the father is a naturalized US citizen, done the required years of work for Social Security, etc, etc. If my thinking is wrong, please say so. I know that he will have to list on his application that he co-sponsored and is now adding one more person to this total. I did advise him of this fact. Therefore, USCIS will be going over his applications for his wife with a fine-toothed comb, and his/their finances better be air-damned-tight! 2. Due to the amount of fraudulent marriages originating from the Philippines; I suspect his evolution of relationship better be documented damned well, and again better be air-damned-tight! Does anyone have advice in this area? Horror stories will also be accepted willingly. 3) Personally, and IMHO, the two of them regards to the immigration issues(s), are going to have a damned long hard time getting this accomplished, unless it is front-loaded to the maximum degree. The last thing they need is a proverbial "Black Pearl" thrown into the mix. I have advised him that he needs to begin showing the evolution of their love/relationship/marriage, and I mean right now and not at the last minute. Yep! He is sing a telephone card, not one scrap of information/photo saved yet! I can imagine USCIS VO at their interview.... " April Fool! Dumbass!" The only positive thing I have seen is that it is a Philippine couple/marriage, and not an intercultural marriage. I also suspect, that he will have to "front-load" the crap out of his application for their USCIS interview. Again; I know that this is the Philippines immigration issue, and not a Chinese Immigration issue. Therefore, I do apologize to board members. Hopefully someone might be able to give some particular insight. I have knowledge of the PI from way back when. USCIS has evolved far beyond what I personally know and/or advise intelligently on. BTW, he tried Visa Journey, and didn't really feel comfortable. I might advise him to become a CFL member, and BTW he is more sane than I. My thanks to all in advance. Dave

1) Aren't you sort of dodging a long-coming issue with your family over religion, that has been coming for long time already? You would have the same problem with your family over religion whether your fiancee/wife was Chinese, Korean, Japanese, or San Fernando "valley" girl. There is no insult intended by what I'm stating. 2) Other members have chimed in, and basically their thoughts were: 1) How do you feel regard to your own religious beliefs? 3) What does your fiancee/wife feel about this issue? Most esp, since she is an intricate part of the equation. 3) What will the both of accept as a common-held belief system for the both of you, and what compromises are the both of you willing to accept? Very hard questions, since she is also a part of the equation. Obviously, the both of you have some serious-ass heart searching to do. After all; you didn't marry your father, mother, family or their belief systems. You married her, and are a new family, with your own belief system. What your family believes into a higher deity and/or value system; I will never interfere in, and neither should any other person. What does this have to do with your situation? Simple! My own family (western father) became a reborn Pentecostal Christian, with all the rebound effects of the book of Revelations, Chinese hordes taking over the world at Armageddon, etc, etc. You might imagine the reception my own wife received. This stated; my father passed. My wife wrote a speech at his passing from China, and later read at his eulogy, regard to God and gathering in the toys, and time to sleep. It brouhght the house down, and endeared my wife forever into my Western families heart's. Personally, for my family; Yin is a curious mix of Buddhism beliefs, coupled with Roman Catholic traditions (but hates the controlling nature of the Catholic Church; Yes! We do attend Mass), but also enjoys being a "luke-warm" Lutheran with the communion, dinners, etc, etc. Yin and I both enjoy the beliefs of the right of communion (Catholic and Lutheran), and oftentimes Yin will cry during this particular time. Myself, I'm a mix of Buddhist, Lutheran, and Native-American (Cherokee), with a bit of hardnosed-ass soldier (5 conflicts) thrown into the mix, but firmly believe in the Triune God. Obviously, this belief system takes time, a lot of heart-to-heart and mind-to-mind conversations to develop between a married couple. LOL! You gotta say one thing; Your new conversations over this particular issue won't be boring! :rotfl:Might I suggest to not to blindside your wife. and have her prepared for your family. I did it, both on the Western-side and the Chinese-side. It takes time, a lot of bravery on both your parts, and a lot of nicely (well-thought out) conversations. They key idea is to pre-plan for the worse scenario. Have you read my Significant Differences thread in the Culture sub-forum? No insult intended. However, you and/or your fiancee have formed your own "new" family unit (religious or otherwise). Your fiancee/wife looks to you for guidance and leadership for the family; and yes, this does include religious values/beliefs of the family. I suspect that your wife wants to have her "new" family (you), to have their own home, without parental and/or religious influence besides giving advice. If you moved to China, wouldn't you expect the same considerations in regard to yourself? Just remember a southern expression that is used.... "A square peg won't fit in a round hole, lessen you gotta a big hammer to pound it in. But, the pounded peg ain't gonna look to good!" Same saying, applies to your new family in regards to customs, language, choice of food, cleaning/cleanliness of the home, family matters (West & East) and even down to religion. You/her dictate where the family will go on any and/or all issues. In short; talk between yourselves, set up a good game plan, anticipate the future in a worst-case scenario, both of you be flexible, and be prepared for hard-nosed decisions. I lost four of my own immediate family due to my wife's Cinema culture. My wife lost her own mother, and 2 others due specifically to me being Western, to both of our religious beliefs. Neither of us have any regrets, since we are our own family. Now it the time to adapt, and overcome. Just do it wisely. Best of luck

BK, I looked at a map of the common fossil sites located in the Gobi Desert and this is a long darnED way from 4-hours of Wuhan. I enjoy science subjects, and I know that a lot of fossilized eggs, and nesting sites of dinosaurs were located in the Gobi. However, this comes back to the question of exporting antiquities from China, penalties, or still a scam, etc, etc. And you are correct, I believe the penalties to black-market dealers and to the buyers are both very severe. This being said, It sounds like they may have found/purchased some geodes. I don't Know enough about China's geology, to even hazard a S.W.A.G. (Scientific Wild-Assed Guess) Perhaps, they ought to just clean them up, and as an experiment, take one or all of them to a local Chinese rock shop and have it evaluated? For God's sake; don't even ask me what the name of one is. Have you wife answer this question. However, I know that I have been in several of these stores in Chengdu, China. Many people bring stones back from Jiuzhagou National Park (九寨沟), to be polished, and/or placed on board which resemble miniaturized mountain scenes. The Japnese have a name for suzuzuki or some thing like that. You might take one as a sample, have a band saw cut it in half, and to determine if it is a geode. Here is a site, and geodes can be found in China. http://www.twoguysfo....com/oddity.htm , and they do sell them. Ergo, there are geodes in "them thar Chinese hills!" Please refrain from the Walter Houston dance regard to gold, and such! After that; they can enjoy their new conversation piece in their home and not get in trouble. However there is one drawback. It it is a fossilized egg, and any good rock hound will see it immediately, be prepared to surrender the piece immediately, and sell the dealer down the river. Hopefully this is where it ends. Good luck, no matter whatever turns out. I do hope that it is a geode, which they can enjoy for years to come. And BTW....Don;t feel lonely. I have never heard the line from my own wife, of Chinese get-rich quick schemes, which was heard from a friend, to a friend, to another friend, and they cared about us, and we were coming in on the basement floor! Thank God, that after six years of marriage and living in the US, my wife is starting to "smell the coffee," and has a very "jaded" eye now! Life is already complicated enough already! Yep! I still get the same pitches from Chinese men and women on the West Coast, even today! Dave

Randy, That is the only connection, and you got it right. When I first saw the thread, and I saw the term, I automatically went back into what I knew as "dinosaur eggs." When I read the post, I realized that Bokwien was talking about a very serious subject, and the conversation morphed from there. However, It still sounds like a scam, and exporting any and all antiquities from China, I would have a very, VERY leery eye at! Most especially at dinosaur remains from the Gobi Desert. I don't believe that China would have any sense of humor at them being exported in the least. Ergo; it is probably a scam anyway. The geodes, and spotted owls was my chance to get at Don, in a good-matured way. After all the Middle Kingdom did have some sense of humor. Sorry, that I detracted from the OP. Dave

RIGHT! BUUUUWWWWWWWAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA! OH GOD! You're killing me! BUUUUWWWWWWWAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA! "for what I'm worth and sell me for what I think I'm worth." Yahhhhh! And I'm quiet, and not opinionated! Buwahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaa! Sniff, sniff...... Bokwien; I'm sorry I took away from you serous question with you OP. My advice advice still remains the same. Unless you talk your wife into selling dinosaur geodes like Don. However! Don is offered at a cheaper price. The very least you have is someone to wax your car on the weekends, take the garbage out! Don! I see that you haven't lost your sense of humor at all have you?

Don, Damned sure if you aren't right! I went on line to research it, and I found this link: http://www.statesymb...Thunderegg.html . However! "Ugly on the outside, beautiful on the inside. Like me." UHHHHH! I don't know about this, Don. My uncle used to cut the found geodes apart with a metal band saw, then he would thoroughly wash the outside and inside of the geode with a toilet brush to bring out the crystal's beauty. You know.......Sort of like cleaning a toilet bowl. Everyone like a clean toilet, after all! Might I suggest going for the new state bird of Oregon, the spotted owl, instead of the Oregon State rock! There are reasons: 1) No one cleans you with a toilet brush, and most especially on the inside, to improve your beauty inside or out! Albeit, as a spotted owl, there is always some "do-goody, tree-hugger," which might give you the stray enema now and again! They are simply worried about you, while you remain peacefully perched on your branch! 2) You are endangered, and watched after. Who cares about a geode anyway!?! All you have to worry about is a chainsaw, and you can always flyaway from this. A band saw is something different. 3) And finally, is this a geode you are sitting on, or you are looking at in your avatar? Perhaps, we could sell you! Bokwein, forget about the ski resort. Let's sell Don! Yep! Back from the ROK, and finally feeling my mettle. Dave

BK, I understand you skepticism as to this being perfectly legitimate operation. Sounds like you have your head on straight. These scams have been going on for year in China, or at least when I first arrived in China. Examples are: 1) Famous antique watercolor paintings in Guilin, and of course a person, which just happens to "meet" you in the marketplace, has knowledge of where these treasures are located at too! And X does mark the spot on their "special map!" 2) There are many antique jade necklaces, incense burners, jade bracelets in for sale in Chengdu markets. BTW, these same people I have met with the same damned map too! Idiot tourists! 3) I haven't traveled extensively in Beijing, Shanghai, etc, etc. However I will wager that the same treasure map is in each one of those respective cities, too! I attempted to find a link I had a long time ago regards to the export of anitiquities from China. I believe that you needed to have a special permit from PRC and governing agencies to pull his trick off. Here is one link that might be helpful: My link (right click and open in a new window). I can't find what the punishments are; but I believe that China takes a really dim view of any and all antiquities leaving its borders. I believe that the penalities were extreme. Even if the punishments were minimal, imagine the crap that PRC can put into anyone's day attempting to exports fossils from China. IMHO, this is about the last thing I would want to raise the ire of the PRC against myself. This being said it still sounds like a scam. Yeah! I know what you say about how easily someone can be suckered in. If the both of you want a substantial return on investment capital; there is is a ski resort in Nebraska, with 7 seven runs on it, which I might be able to get you in on at the basement-level. The required capital is $75K only, and promises a return of 125% on a two year basis. Obviously, marketing & advertisement will cost extra, to get it up and running, and to obtain maximum return on initial investment. Good luck! Fast edit and forgot to add one thing. Down in MO, KY, and several other states, there something also called "dinosaur eggs" and/or "thunder eggs." They are scientifically called geodes. Here is the link for them: http://www.rocksfork...R&M/geodes.html. They are just crystallized minerals. I have seen these crystal geodes sold up and down the West Coast and are very easily found in China and Korea towns. I have seen them in China, (the Chinese geodes) are usually sliced thinly, polished, and then mounted on a stand. I don't know about what the market is like, but I suspect that it is a very slim market niche. I asked my wife once, and she merely scoffed, and considers them as one more thing that gathers dust, and she has to clean. YMMV.

AR, Glad you enjoyed Emerald Palace. My wife and I enjoyed their food also. Even though she isn't crazy about this style food (she refers to as being too sweet) she did like the taste. The other restaurant I have never tried. I will take YOUR recommendation, and try it when I get back from Korea. I do hope that you took her to the beach in La Jolla? This is a photo-op not to be missed. Again, congratulations on your anniversary. I hope that there are many more still to come! In the meantime, I'm being called back to work. We are in the the middle of monsoon season right now, and it sucks. Do CFL members get a "blow-by-blow," scenario, excluding nighttime anniversary presents between the two of you. I think that we can fill the blanks here all by ourselves! Dave

Rob, time practiced custom. However, very smart Chinese people. Open the chocolates up in private, and in the case of a chocolate lover, they don't have to share them!

Rob, Yep listening to Chinese logic regard to chickens, cows, cats, dogs, etc, is an eye opening experience Just watching their logic unfold is to say And you are absolutely correct. My wife wanted me hang the chickens upside down, cut their throats with a razor, so blood could be collected. This is to be 1) Done outside in a tree. 2) Swimming Pool not more than 50 meters away. 3) While kids are running around, and would be watching me! 4) In the middle of a condo complex with 25 units! The SPCA would have turned my butt every which way but loose! Tried to explain this to the wife, but you imagine how far that got? I believe the words were "Stupid Laws!" This aside it does make for an interesting and not a dull marriage!

Tim and other CFL BM's, I want to add a bit onto Credzba's comments. My wife was a former PRC Agriculture Bureau clerk. That is one thing that she demanded from me early on in our relationship; DO NOT send things to her workplace. 1) All the other girls/women became jealous, and would gossip incessantly regards to her. 2) My wife was never a CCP member; but her cell-supervisors were, and she could be fired at the drop of a hat. All gifts which I did send, were sent to her home. BTW! Most expecially since I was a laowei in the first place. 3) My wife wouldn't even wear her engagement ring in her workplace, in fear of starting rumors. She would wear the ring at home, or shopping, etc. But NEVER in her workplace. A 1.5 carat diamond center placed diamond, with two.5 carat side diamonds, will do nothing but bring trouble and rumors. Again; this is up to the individual couple, which is an issue to be talked about between themselves. Far be from me, to dictate what is right and wrong. Just beware of the consequences on both the woman and the man's parts. This choice is entirely up to the couple of what you can and can get away with. Personally, I would suggest checking with the fiancee/fiance before any gifts are sent to the workplace. Getting fired in China, is no laughing matter. However! Credzba's comments regard to flowers are dead on target. It really does depend on the woman. I will add one item, and attempt not to throw a bucket water on your parade. How the woman receives the gifts, accepts them, etc, etc; Can be a redflag warning for you. You are intelligent, and can fill in the blanks. If they are received glibly, and wants better presents, than you had better walk away, or at least do some serious hard-thinking. It can and often time does get worse. Credzba's and my ass-chewing's, simply reflect the nature of our wives. DO NOT waste the family money. Save it for the final plane ticket, hotels in GUZ for her interview, save it for furniture which she chooses in the US.

Tim, I'm using Steve's post as a reference point, and IMHO, he is dead on target. Depends on the woman. Regard to bouquet of flowers; earns me a serious ass-chewing from my wife, and she states that the flowers last for a few days, die, and she throws them out. In her opinion, this is a serious waste of family money. A small variation is to have the florist in China, send/deliver a live potted plant. Your fiancee can then re-pot the plant with a special planter she selects, water and care for the plant, etc. This was a big hit with my own wife. When she asked for an explanation. I simply told her that is was an extension of our living love, etc, etc, and she cared for the plant, in the same manner she cared for our love. Unfortunately! My wife does have a "brown thumb" as to plants. Thank God, that I'm not a plant! Money is always acceptable, for her to buy essentials she needs. My wife receives some extra money for special days Yin then takes family to dinner, and saves the rest for our family, and at times spends it on my nieces for things that they need. What about books, special video tapes of sappy Western love stories? As Steve stated; it depends on woman to woman. Respectfully; you are the one marrying her and later living with her. So you might just as well start researching now. You will gave the identical issues, in your future the future within the US. BTW, be prepared to make a "few" mistakes along the way! Just like I did! My wife regard cards, as a waste of money. Therefore, I will stay with RobertS's opinion. A couple of well-timed phone calls, goes over far better than anything from Hallmark provides. As a side note, and only a suggestion. If you want to be a big hit with your fiancee, go to the Internet and research Chinese holidays/special days (e.g. Tomb visitation day, Children''s day). Send special gifts during these inauspicious occasions, when she least expects it. Like she is surprised when you send a gift or a card on her birthday! DAHHHH! Like she didn't expect this in the first place anyway? What is the term? "Shock and Awe!" I once sent my wife a plant, followed by a phone call on Children's Day in China. Totally blew my wife away, as she wasn't expecting anything, for such a lousy holiday! I didn't have to make the phone call! She called me, and was wondering what the special occasion was. I told her Happy Children's Day, and explained I sent it since I loved her the same on Children's Day, as much then as on our anniversary and her birthday. Chinese women love surprises, and to be surprised. Lord! My wife began crying on the telephone. This is one of the small tricks that make a intercultural marriage work. You can use this as a suggestion, to make the both of your lives far happier. Yes! Yin still calls me crazy for wasting money her on these weird holidays. However, the memory is always there in her mind, and I can see the happiness she still carries, and she hugs me many times for these small surprises, and still talks about them. Please remember that this is my wife and not your fiancee, so YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary) Good Luck! Dave

AR, Now I understand what type of food you are exactly looking for. The following restaurants Yin and I have been in before and would recommend to any visitor to San Diego. This is done with consideration; to overall cost, service, value of food, quality, and finally taste. Please understand that San Diego doesn¡¯t have a ¡°properly defined¡± Chinatown like San Gabriel, Diamond Bar, Monterrey Park, etc. Most of the restaurants I¡¯ll be listing are generally located in either the Kearny Mesa or Clairemont Mesa neighborhoods. When you see the San Diego address of in the restaurant¡¯s address; it tends to throw a visitor off. VIP Oriental Buffet 5541 Clairemont Mesa Boulevard, San Diego, CA 92117-2342 (Clairemont Mesa neighborhood) This buffet is approximately ¾ mile west from the 99 Ranch Market. (858) 571-8473 ***Unfortunately no Hyperlink, so you will have to use Mapquest.com to get exact directions. Yin and I have both eaten here numerous times. Food reviews are kind of akin to a love/hate relationship. Either it is fantastic and/or it sucks! However the reviews seem to be written primarily from a Western view/taste. Yin and I only have had one or two complaints over 1 year or so. Food is primarily Canton and Fujian, interspersed with some dishes in Hunan-style. Very easy on the wallet at $12 a person, and is all you can eat. Dumpling Inn 4619 Convoy St, Suite F (between Dagget St & Opportunity Rd), San Diego, CA 92111 Neighborhood: Kearny Mesa (858) 268-9638 dumplinginnmenu.info This place looks like a hole in the wall, and you will need to look carefully for it. It can be easy to miss. However the food was very good, service was below excellent, moderately expensive and this is dependent on how much you eat. (Laughing) Yep! I gonna¡¯ make the chefs earn their damned paycheck. (Sigh) Yin had a soft heart for the chefs, and drug me out of the restaurant. China Max 4698 Convoy Street (between Engineer Rd & Opportunity Rd), San Diego, CA 92111 Neighborhood: Kearny Mesa (858) 650-3333 www.chinamaxsandiego.com Very good mixture of food of several Chinese styles, and is bit more than moderately priced. However, the food IMHO was excellent and well worth the money which we spent. The dining area is smaller, so there may be times you have to wait for a seat. In addition, since you are on your anniversary and might be staying at a hotel, they do offer take-out. You just have to be a bit picky about what Chinese food will taste like after a microwave at the hotel, and in my case at home. The Peking duck my wife absolutely loved, and as she described it was the right crispy texture outside, but with soft cooked meat within. Yum Cha Caf¨¦ 6933 Linda Vista Road, San Diego, CA 92111-6305 Neighborhood: Kearny Mesa<br style=""> <br style=""> (858) 268-9988 ***Unfortunately no Hyperlink, so you will have to use Mapquest.com to get exact directions. This particular place is a bit hard to explain but I will take a crack at it, and the two of you can form your own opinion, and berate me later! I¡¯m a big guy! I can take it! (Laughing) This particular establishment is 50 meters south of the ShuFat grocery store in Linda Vista. Many times the prices at ShuFat are approximately 25% lower than 99 Ranch Market, hence my wife shopping here to save money, and not forgetting to mention the freshness of the fish. And I mean, one to two-days old. The fish¡¯s eyes aren¡¯t sunken and still shine, akin when the fish are first taken from the water, and iced down. Might I suggest a cooler in the trunk of the car, just in the case your wife wants to save money? This is a most recent restaurant, which we have eaten at, and just happened see out of the corner of my eye. I told Yin; ¡°What the Hell? Let¡¯s try it!¡± Yin gave me a baleful wary eye, and I¡¯m sure that you have seen it before yourself, more than once. When we tried the restaurant, she was delighted, and has become a mainstay when we go shopping. I will digress for one moment and attempt to be brief. The lifeblood of any Sichuan Provincial woman; is congee, and all the variations of congee that there are! This is the one dish, which she has not been able to find properly prepared in San Diego. Generally, she makes her own congee at home. Back to where I was previously. We went in to the caf¨¦, and much to her delight, they had four separate pots of prepared congee. My wife began gorging herself, extolling the virtues of this restaurant. They have very good prices, but it is serve yourself, bus your own table. Drink selection is minimal, and forget about waitresses. The table service is up to you, however; the meal and/or desired dishes were served very quickly and efficiently. I should mention; bring cash! They don¡¯t accept credit/debit cards, and don¡¯t have the means to process them anyway. The prices are absolutely dirt cheap as compared to what we normally pay in California. The food quality and freshness was above reproach. However, this is a nice place for a lunch/brunch, etc. Not a dinner type of place. Here is the hard part to explain. They employees are a 50/50 mix of Vietnamese and Chinese (primarily Cantonese). However, the Vietnamese do speak a lot of Guangxi dialect, albeit with a heavy accent; but they do understand. The food is a mixture of Vietnamese and Chinese. The Chinese has the congee, small dim-sum dishes freshly steamed and hot. The roasted ducks, chicken and pork, is cooked Chinese style; but has a mix of Chinese and Vietnamese spices. We both tried the roasted meats, and we both liked the spice mixture. However YMMV. They also offer take-out. I walked out with 4 Styrofoam containers with a mixture of meats, to be made later for the both of us. Several Western people a5t my workplace tried it out of my lunch and they are now converts too. AR since this is your anniversary; why not have your wife, try something different? This is my final recommendation. Hell! You eat at all the Chinese restaurants I have recommended; you wont have time for the beach. You will spend your entire time in a hotel, being bloated from food. This is a world famous place, and was recommended in the cable show of ¡°Man vs. Food,¡± and I believe ¡°The World¡¯s Most Famous Hamburgers.¡± Try this place: HODADS 5010 Newport Avenue San Diego, CA 92107-3010 Neighborhood: Ocean Beach <br style=""> <br style=""> (619) 224-4623 http://www.hodadies.com This particular restaurant is a mainstay with San Diegian¡¯s, and is extremely well patronized. The food is simple, large, a lot of meat, very well priced as to what you receive for your order. Service lacks, but what did you expect from a hamburger place, anyway? However! Take this as a serious piece of advice. Get there damned early! And I mean 30 minutes before they open up, and you better be in line too! There have been fistfights between patrons about people cutting in line. I have seen the line at 1120hrs (my lunch time) extend for a city block and ½ waiting to place an order. As a side note between us as men! Order light for your food! I saw your photo of your wife in your avatar. She will never finish one complete meal. This means you have to eat for two people! Yin has already tried this challenge with bacon, double-cheeseburger deluxe, with all the fixings. Yin didn¡¯t even come close! Guess who was called ¡°to arms?¡± So much as to my recommendations to you regards to restaurants and food. There are one or five more items, which I will add to make your anniversary go well. 1) The water has been abnormally cold as of late. I mean that, I do open ocean swimming at La Jolla Cove and wear a 8mm wet suit. It is still bone chilling at times for myself; and I¡¯m used to these waters. 2) This same abnormal cold, is also applicable to on-shore flow in the mornings. Numerous times, and even in the middle of July, I had to actually turn my windshield wipers on going to work, since there is a mist. And yes! I work approximately 10 meters from the Pacific Ocean itself. Tell your wife to bring a light jacket, and a light sweater(s), so she can layer herself against the on-shore flow in the AM hours. In the afternoon, she can shed the layers as the afternoon temperatures warm up. 3) Fish counts are very low due to the same water temperatures I mentioned in items 1 & 2. You will be wasting your money, if the both of you decide to go charter fishing; and this does include going into Mexican waters. Please; don¡¯t waste your money. 4) If you want to have your wife see some fantastic surf, with clean sharp waves; go to La Jolla Cove one hour before low and high tides. This is when the most massive amounts of water are being moved. Your wife; should be enthralled by this scene alone. Don¡¯t forget the camera! 5) The seals are still at Children¡¯s Pool and are protected. However, if you swim to them at approximately 200 meters off-shore from Children¡¯s Pool in the seals feeding times; the seals will actually approach you/her out of curiosity, and see who you are, and they do this out of genuine curiosity on their part. No big movements, and I have never heard of one swimmer being bitten. Just enjoy the moment. 6) There is only one danger right now. Here is the hyperlink: http://www.city-data...-stingrays.html. You will understand the name, which we have "coined." as the ¡°stingray shuffle!¡± The largest stingray I have seen is about 14¡± or so. However! I can damned-sure guarantee that they have a ¡°punch.¡± And NO! Wearing tennis shoes isn¡¯t going to stop the barb, when you surprise a stingray. Steve Irwin found this out the hard way. BTW! We have been getting some black jellyfish coming ashore at San Diego. No jumping on the jellyfish. Their stings won¡¯t kill you. However their tentacles will put a hurtin¡¯ on the person that is this stupid. Here is the link: http://www.signonsan...beach-san-diego . AR, I do apologize that we can¡¯t meet in San Diego. I have emergent work has arisen. On this Friday AM; I will be on my way to Chinhae Navy Base in South Korea, for about 7 days or more. Besides¡­. The last thing that your wife or you need is a 55-year old ¡°stick-in-the mud,¡± and ¡°fifth wheel,¡± complicating this special day between the two of you. There is one more issue between us! And finally! I¡¯m ahead of everyone else: Congratulations, to both of you on your first anniversary. Please consider my information, as an anniversary gift to the both of you. I do so hope that you enjoy yourselves, and my information made your special day go a bit better. I can only truly hope, that the both of you have many more to come. Dave

AC, Here are few good recommendations that I may make. The special dinner is up to you. Red Pear Restaurant is one of the best in San Diego, but very expensive, and I meanly hugely so. We are talking $85 to $150 a total dinner for two. This is the crème of the crème. It is in the Gas Lamp district. Bring your AMEX Card with you, since will need it! My wife damned killed me when she saw the bill. Food is awesome; but so are the prices. http://www.sandiegor...RedPearlKitchenEmerald Restaurant in our own “China-town” http://emeraldrestaurant.com. Very good food, does serve dim-sum on carts (when I was last there.) Moderately low-end to high-end prices, depending on selections and how much food is consumed. Service lacks a bit, but the food quality more than makes up for it.Jasmine Restaurant http://www.jasminese...ml/entrees.html Very good seafood selection and generally fresh (one day) from the ocean. They also have clay pot dishes. I should mention that all of Items 1 & 2 are on Convoy street. I eat Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, Chinese food in this district. This is our China-town in San Diego.There is a hole in the wall place that does hogo (hotpot). It is not nearly as great as in China; but satisfactory even to my wife as a Sichuan Province native. She complains that they don’t serve goat. This post is a bit short notice and I will follow up with a PM, when I find the exact name. It is also in the Convoy district in Clairemont , CA.If your wife is into the ocean and ocean fish like Yin is; go at La Jolla Cove (Don’t go to La Jolla Shores and a totally different place), and wants true fresh seafood, then I would suggest a hole-in-the wall place as http://elpescadorfishmarket.com. It is very small and they only have six tables inside, and 4 tables on the outside. However! They sell fresh seafood directly from the ocean (and I mean 4 to 6 hours old), and run a lunch/dinner menu. The clam chowder is awesome, and you purchase the big bowl of chowder. I would suggest for a main entrée; thresher shark, white sea bass, abalone, or finally yellow-fin tuna. All are grilled over charcoal, with a Mexican accent of cilantro and lime oils, with a salad. Fresh grilled toriatias are optional. The staff, really does an excellent job of cooking the food. Hot sauces are optional, and you do have the choice of American or Mexican style sauces. They do have shrimp and rock lobster. However, watch the prices! They will skyrocket, since these items are premium. The average price is moderate with a it of smart buying, and perhaps $50 for dinner/lunch for two. However! I caution you to get there very early, and I mean at about 11:00hrs. This place packs in so quick you can’t believe it, and is the go-to place in La Jolla, CA. Yin and I go here often, and the first time we were there, there was just us. 20 minutes or so later, the place was filled with people for lunch and buying fresh seafood. Obviously, after living in SD and being in this restaurant, many times, I don’t understand this place! (Laughing) This is where I do open ocean swimming. BTW! The parking is an absolute bitch; unless you get paid parking, and walk everywhere. Generally Yin and I get there at 06:00hrs, camp out, read the newspapers, and enjoy the shores. Sunday is your only free day to park, and you had better be early. There are many, many more. This is just a start, and should help the both of you start. All of the restaurants, previously mentioned, I have been in, and sometimes I can be a bitch as a customer. For breakfast; may I suggest Perry’s? http://www.tripadvis...California.html. Your wife won’t be able to finish one of their omelets. Yes! They are that big! Beats Denny’s hands down. This is a pretty comprehensive list, just to get you started. If you want more I will provde more suggestions. San Diego and what we have down here, is the reason that I seldom ever have to go to LA. To be honest; I lived for 5 years in LA previously, and the both of us hate it, I agree with her. You can’t get me out of SD with dynamite. Here is a link I posted once and my wife is about halfway through the list. She wanted to see all the places in the photos: http://www.city-data.com/forum/san-diego/4...-san-diego.html. The nicest part that I enjoy is; that I still can live in San Diego and afford it. Dave

AR, I have been living in San Diego for about two years plus. There a ton of Chinese restaurants, but some are average, and some are very good. What province is your wife from, and I will go from there as to specific recommendations for the best food and restaurants. BTW, what is your budget? Since for an anniversary; "throw caution to the winds? or some thing a bit more budget-minded? Dave

It has been a while since I last looked at this article, which I posted a long time ago. It was briefing discussed by RobertS, in the posting of “Finding the Hamburger Helper,” which was recently began in Twisted Candle. I thought about RobertS’s requests, and I remembered that some past CFL members thought it was a bit funny, and perhaps newer CFL members might have their own stories to add. Therefore, I thought to myself; “What the Hell!” I finally found the article which I originally made, and was horrified to see the computer language which works into some old CFL codes, and really screws up the language. Please remember that this posting was made about 3 servers and five upgrades way back when. Therefore, I went back and cleaned the language up to make reading easier for the reader. To keep myself honest, I have included the original hyperlink, so that the reader is able to see I didn’t change the content. The stories are just a bit more humor for newer members, who illustrate the development of a intercultural marriage, between a Chinese woman and Westerner. Yes! There is some exaggeration to make it a bit more fun to read. However; the basic story is true. I also want to remind readers that this was when I was a CFL “newbie” back in 2004 & 2005 and was just starting out in a Chinese marriage when this was first posted. Six years or so later, my wife and I are totally different people, matured in our marriage, and still are fortunate enough to a very strong marriage. To new CFL readers; I encourage you to watch your own developing relationships, with a caring, but humorous eye. These happy, naive and developing marriage/language on both people's parts; only comes around once! There isn’t a day that goes by, when I wouldn’t like to turn the time clock backwards to where m wife and I started out at. Please have fun, and of course some humouerous antecedotes from other members will always be appreciated by the entire CFL forum. The Original “Sichuan Prejudicial Cooking,” The first post. Prejudicial Chinese Cooking http://candleforlove...wtopic=12339= The following anecdote I recently experienced when I was with my wife in China in July of this year. I have titled it Chinese Prejudicial Cooking. The logical course of thought, of why I chose this specific title. Some of the statements have been alleviated by the author to add interest and spice. However, the conversations between she and I are as accurately as I can remember. I should add one final note. Yin is really this funny I should set the stage for the reader, since we are arriving in the middle of the act. The two actors will portray the escapades of mates in a typical Chinese American intercultural marriage. Note: There isn't any mop slapping for the faint of heart, or readers who have been mop slapped previously and still suffer the effects of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) you are allowed to read the story in small portions (LOL) Playing the lead lady is the sexy, beautiful, aspiring young Chinese actress, Yin. Yin stars in the role of the talented young wife of Cerberus, in the role of his wife. Playing her opposite, is the sexy, mild-mannered, young American (who am I kidding?!?) Better start this one over. Playing her opposite is the very untalented, ugly, crude-mannered, clumsy, oafish, reprobate and totally naive in the way of Chinese culture...Cerberus. (Note: This looks a lot better doesn't it? To be perfectly honest, not better, just more honest!) Cerberus attempts to play the role of model husband of the husband of Yin. Scene 1: An apartment in the city of Chengdu, China in mid-March. Yin: Honey, we always stay in a hotel. We have been married for 3 months and I still haven’t made you any food by myself. We are always eating out in hotels and restaurants. You don’t love me, anymore! Cerberus: (looking up from paper) “Huh? What did you say?” Yin: “I said I haven’t prepared any food for you after we married. How do you know that I can cook food?” Cerberus: “Darling, I'm sure that you can cook very well. For tonight, do you want to eat fish at the restaurant or go to the Hogo restaurant?” Yin: (Getting PO’d) “I said I haven’t made any food for you by myself! That is Chinese woman’s job. I cook very good food. You should try, langoun.” Cerberus: “Lampo, there are so many excellent restaurants in Chengdu. You don’t have to cook. Besides, they are probably cheaper. You have to spend a lot of time preparing dishes. Then you have to wash the dishes and clean kitchen. Let’s go to a restaurant and eat.” Yin: (Really PO’d now) “I’m not going to restaurant. I’m supposed to cook! Besides I cook, you eat. Then you clean dishes! Chairman Mao once said women hold up half the sky. You help me.” Cerberus: “Lampo, I see your point! (while attempting to protect his vital pieces of anatomy that is exposed) Look, honey. I’ll be returning in July of this year. Instead of a hotel room, let’s lease an apartment, with a kitchen, sink, etc. You can bring you dishes, whatever you need and cook to your Chinese heart’s delight.” (Note: Cerberus, the product of a corrupt Western society slyly thinks that he has 3 months until July. By this time, she’ll have forgotten about this cooking notion. This clearly demonstrates that Cerberus has the all the brains and initiative of a box full of hammers. This man doesn’t even has the vaguest notion of the resiliency of the typical determined Chinese woman) Yin simply smiles to herself. Scene 2: Cerberus is sitting at his desk, at his school, attempting to study neutron gamma radiography procedures and Eddy Current principles of NDT testing/inspections. In the past week; Yin has sent 4 shopping lists and countless menus to him for his review. Cerberus is quickly coming to the inevitable conclusion about Yin and himself. Cerberus is screwed! His wife has not only remembered that she will be cooking for him, she has turned her full resolve into accomplishing her task. Menus are sent via E-Mail, oxen offal, swine chitlins, duck and chicken feet, pigeon brains, goats. The only thing that hasn’t been placed on the menu is Cerberus himself. Cerberus has few choices. 1) Suicide? Nah, too painful, have final tests in three weeks. The instructors would just send the test to him in Hell, to be completed and returned via college electronic drop box! 2) The dog ate the plane ticket? Nah! Too stupid! She never would believe this anyway. 3) Maybe a meeting with a VO in Guangzhou, for 30 days! Nah! She would just come to Guangzhou and cook there. Cerberus has now become resigned to his fate. He reservedly packs his bag, places Yin’s 4 boxes of favorite chocolate reptiles in his bag ( Yin’s manner of describing Nestlé’s Chocolate Turtles s Turtles). This is another bizarre story that truly happened) in his carry-on bag. He then departs for the airport two weeks later. Cerberus has a two-day layover stop in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Cerberus calls Yin telling her that he will be there in Chengdu a day later. Yin is ecstatic. She happily states that she will meet him at the airport with flowers, kisses and hugs. She also says that she has another surprise for Cerberus. She will bring the recipes and the menus to the airport so he can look at them. Cerberus attempts to tell her that she must be very busy; I’ll get a cab and ride to the apartment. Yin will not hear any of this, besides her mother is coming to the airport and will also offer advice and counsel to her daughter and son-in-law, of particular unique aspects of Chinese Cuisine. Inevitably, Cerberus is a broken spirited horse. The last words heard from Cerberus to Chinese Customs and Immigration officer’s is that I have drugs in my bag. They immediately check. They find the drugs! We no arrest you sir! Why not? These weightlifting drugs! They not illegal! Look, can you "sort-of" arrest me? Maybe for two hours? We no can do! It’s not legal! Why we arrest you? Gentleman, my Chinese wife is outside with recipes to show me. She wants to cook for me! Laowei, that not so bad, good wife! Is that your wife waving her arms with papers in her hand? Yes, officer! She is beautiful! I think she cook is good! I’m sure she does, but her mother is also going to advise her and the finer cuisines. Officer looks glumly at Cerberus. We would help you, but she is Chinese woman. Her mother there. Both have hot tempers! They would report us to our comrade supervisor! You have to leave! Sorry! We not help! At this time Cerberus exits and his wife kisses and hugs him deeply. She has a flower bouquet for her husband in her right hand. Cerberus also discerned that she does have the recipes still clutched in her left hand. Cerberus and family arrive at apartment that has been rented. Small, but efficient with a kitchen, balcony, large bed. Cerberus retrieves a 4-fingered glass of Glenfiddich malt whisky and makes his way to the shower with the drink. Yin and mom are now making last minute pointers and plans for food preparation. Cerberus exits the shower and see that mother has left. Cerberus: “Where’s your mom?” Yin: “Mother went home so we can be along darling Languon.” Cerberus: “I’d like to get some sleep.” Yin: “I don’t want to sleep. But, I want to be with you.” Cerberus: (thinking quickly to himself) A lot of passionate love and she won’t have to cook, she’ll want to sleep. Besides, I didn’t see any dishes in the kitchen. (This again demonstrates a naïve gullibility of Cerberus’s part. Clearly showing that Cerberus has the all the brains and initiative of a box full of hammers. This man still doesn’t even have the vaguest notion of the resiliency of a determined Chinese woman) Scene 3 2 days later in the Kitchen. It is 06:30 in the morning. Cerberus awakes to the sound of pots and pans being moved in the kitchen, Lampo is missing. The date of Cerberus’s infamy is nigh. Yin: “Lampo, please help me. I can’t find my small pot.” Chinese cursing is heard, and more dishes rattle. Cerberus: “Languon, what are you doing?” Yin: “I want to make breakfast for you.” Cerberus: “What type of breakfast?” Yin: “Chinese style breakfast!” Cerberus: “Hold on a minute and I’ll help you.” (Cerberus entering the kitchen see great disarray. The pots are being banged together so much it sounds like a Tong war in a tin kettle.) Cerberus and Yin both get kitchen into some semblance of order. Yin: “Get out of kitchen now!” Cerberus: “You don’t want any help? Remember; "Women hold up half the sky?" "Men hold up the other half of the sky." Yin: “NO! American man not know kitchen. Chinese man not know kitchen! Chairman Mao not cook here either. He is man too! They just make mess! Get out!” To make a long story short Cerberus soon found out that his wife does indeed make wonderful Chinese food. Several days afterward she makes many Chinese dishes, which would rate very well to a good portion of restaurants in Chengdu. <br style=""> <br style=""> Cerberus: “Yin where did you learn to cook? Your mother?” Yin: “No I watch TV show and learn from there. I see them throw some of this, some of that, and the food tastes very good. Right Languon?” Cerberus: “Yes, darling your cooking is very excellent. I’m fortunate to marry such an intelligent cultured Chinese woman with great talents.” Yin: “Tomorrow I make special cake for you for both of our birthdays. You like?” Cerberus: “Lampo, are you sure that you can make a cake?” Yin: “Of course! Very simple, for a Chinese woman. American woman is hard; they go to store and buy cake. I love my languon, so I make special cake from my heart, hands and mind.” Scene 4 The next day. Yin has prepared a very fine feast stir fry vegetables, roast pheasant and duck with stuffing, oriental red sweet potatoes with honey, honey glazed carrots, marbled eggs as appetizer, white wine, and for dessert a 4 layer German Chocolate Cake. (Diabetics are already probably swooning at this type of food.) The meal has been finished, both Cerberus and Yin are enjoying some wine. Yin: “Cerberus, do you love me? “ Cerberus: “Yes, darling. Very much” Yin: “Do you like my cooking?” Cerberus: “Yes, darling you are an excellent cook.” Yin: “Am I better than most restaurants?” Cerberus: “Darling I would say on an order of 1 being the best, and 10 being the worst, the food you prepare I would rate at about 7.5 to 8.” Yin: “That’s because I’m Chinese.” Cerberus: “I would agree with you that as a Chinese woman you cook Western food very, very well. Most especially since no one trained you. You had to learn by yourself. It’s amazing how well you do. I wonder what your secret is?” Yin: “My secret is that I’m a banana!” Cerberus: “You’re a banana?!?!” Yin: “Yes, I’m a banana and proud of it!” Cerberus: “Darling, I don’t quite understand what you mean by a banana?” Yin:: “Langoun! Are you from the US? You don’t understand what a banana is?” Cerberus: “Honey, I know what a banana is, but what does your expression of banana have to do with cooking?” Yin: “How can you be so stupid? I’m a banana. Yellow on the outside, but white in the middle! I make beautiful western food and very good Chinese food too.” Cerberus: “Honey, the term banana is a racial disparaging term. It is like calling an African American the N word. Oriental people are called bananas in a disparaging way. Didn’t you know this? “ Yin: “I didn’t know this. I can’t say that I’m a banana in the US?” Cerberus: “Between us you can say it all the time. Just in public, I don’t think it would be a very good idea.” Yin: (pondering over her new language discovery. Suddenly she brightens) “Langoun, then I’ll call myself and A.B.C.!” Cerberus: “Yin, an American Born Chinese. Darling, you were born in Chengdu, not SF or LAX. How in the name of Hell can you claim to be an ABC?” Yin: “You’re right langoun! I can’t be an ABC. I’ll have to stay a banana. If the Visa Officers ask me about my cooking, I can tell them that I cook excellently, because I’m a banana! I’m proud of it. They should give me, "the banana," my Visa right away, don’t you think so Langoun?” Yin: “Langoun, you look sick again. Was there too much food?” Member’s of this forum. There are few times when such a comedy act is able to come to you in this manner. When my wife receives her interview I will inform this forum I feel confident that the tickets to her interview will bring top dollar. This of the shock when Yin demands her visa after clearly stating that she is a banana. Please try to imagine the look in the Visa Officer’s face. I know that I want to be there. I should remember to bring a movie camera, so that Yin and I have something to laugh about later. On a more serious note; Members, when I married Yin this was the exact type of woman that I had sought for 48 years. She also related that she tried to find me for 39 years of her life. Fate and the blessings of God have brought us together. I’m very sure that this same comedy schtick, will go on for many more years. I hope that all of your life’s will have the same humor that Yin and I have found. Cerberus The Chinese Prejudicial Chef Strikes AGAIN! Story #2: Free-Range Chickens http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?...c=21856&hl= Note To Readers: The major change in this topic was my wife’s adopted Western name of Alice, which has since been nchanged to Yin. My wife Yin has struck again. Of course, it would be in this particular discipline or area of expertise. To refresh members of where this discourse starts, refer to the link here: http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?...c=12455&hl= To be honest, my wife is truly an excellent cook. She makes every dish from her native Sichuan province imaginable. At the risk of sounding insulting to some members, she turns her nose up with disdain at other Chinese regional cooking. I personally enjoy all of the five major cooking styles of China and always want to try every one of them, when I’m in China. My wife’s words as best as I can remember them with a bit of paraphrasing; “They are not “real" Chinese and DO NOT know how to cook! Sichuan people are the best at cooking!” Now readers understand where the title of “Prejudiced Chinese Cooking” originates. This original setting was approximately 2 years ago in the city of Chengdu. Let’s us fast-forward to today! Lately my wife Yin has been complaining about the taste of foods that she obtains in America. Most especially, the pork and chicken. She smells them prior to cooking of the meat and will turn her nose up at them. She concisely and clearly states that they “Don’t smell right, and are not butchered and dressed in Chinese style!” Obviously, I am just a poor dumb Laowei with only 270~ years of culture behind me. Her culture has 5,000 years, (which I think that she delightedly and gleefully, emphasis on the gleefully) informs me of all the time. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the ultimate Weapon of Mass Destruction, available to any Chinese woman, to establish their premise in any disagreement. As of late, we are more or less forced to do all of our shopping in Oklahoma City. This locale is NOT the Mecca of Chinese culture needless to say! Shopping for foodstuffs is a clever combination of other Asian culture (e.g. Vietnamese, Thai) grocery stores, attending open flea markets, and a variety of American stores. This more or less sets the stage of the following observations and saga. We stop by a Vietnamese grocery store, which specializes in foodstuffs for both Chinese and Vietnamese shoppers. We have an extensive shopping list and this is first stop of the day. The conversation at the meat counter: The players: Yin, one very confused and unsuspecting Mexican clerk (here after referred to as CM) and myself. Yin: “Langon (while standing at meat counter) we do not buy pork." I just want free range chicken!” Dave: “What is a free-range chicken?” Yin: “Sagwah! This is chicken that walks around and has good exercise with legs and eats very good to eat. They taste very good!” Dave: “Exercise does this?” Yin: Yes! (She waves at CM to come over for service) CM: “May I help you?” Yin: “I want to buy two free-range chickens!” CM: What? Yin: (speaking slower) “I want to buy two free-range chickens!” CM: I don’t understand you! What do you want? Yin: (speaking very slowly and enunciating every word) “I…want…to…buy…two…free-range… chickens!” CM: What is a free-range chicken? Yin: It is a chicken that walks around. CM: (Looking a bit confused) “Ma’am” all chickens walk around! Yin: (becoming a bit exasperated) I know they do! But I want one that walks around wherever they want to.” CM: (quickly approaching the point of mental overload looks at me for help!) “Senor, what does she mean by this free range chicken?” Dave: “Don’t look at me!” I asked and I was called a Sagwah! I know that she wants a chicken to make soup. I know that every times she does this soup it still has the head and feet on it.” CM: (immediately brightening) “I know what she wants now, senor!” CM: “Please come here ma’am.” Here is your chicken you wanted.” (He proudly holds one up that has recently come from the freezer. Crisis has been averted!) Yin: “It is frozen!” CM: "We have too. It is health Dept rules." Yin: “Stupid rules!” CM: “I know but it is law!” Yin: “This is man chicken!” CM and Dave: “What?” Yin: “It is man chicken!” Dave: “A chicken is a chicken, what does a rooster or man chicken have to with anything?” Yin: “Man chicken is very bad and doesn’t taste good!” Dave: “Why?” Yin: “Man is a man!” Same as man-chicken. They walk around and party, drink and do not do anything. They do not taste good, are too tough!” Dave: “Never mind! Just buy the damn chicken!” Yin: "But Langoun, it is a man chicken! It won’t taste good." Dave: "I don’t care if it is a man chicken, a woman chicken or a hermaphrodite chicken. We don’t have a choice do we? Besides, a man chicken is called a rooster. A woman chicken is called a hen. OK?” Yin: “No I guess not! But soup will not taste good, because it is a man chicken! Are you sure these are the right words for calling chickens?" Dave: Yes, Yin! I’m pretty sure of the English language. OK?" Yin: "OK I trust you. It is still a rooster, not a hen. Very bad taste. We Chinese people know. We have, 5,000 years of culture.” Dave: "Darling, I love you and your cooking. I will somehow eat the soup! OK?" Yin: "Are you sure Langoun? It will taste bad you know." Dave: "Yes Darling, I’m very sure!" Shortly thereafter, we departed the store with our groceries and Yin’s “man-chickens.” That night she prepared Sichuan style chicken soup with one of the man chickens. The one thing that bothers me is to open the pot up and see a chicken’s head sticking up and looking at me. I usually keep my piece about her cooking. However, I asked why she cooked the chicken with the head on. She has stated that it is for flavor. I don’t know about the rest of you in this forum. I think most American’s would have a great deal of trepidation in seeing KFC, Church’s or Pioneer Chick outlets, sell fried chicken heads, so the product has a distinctive flavor. This sounds like the original source of another urban myth. I wonder if this myth will make it’s way to the Discovery Channel for the “Mythbuster’s” program. This is one show that, I do NOT want to miss! LOL! On with the saga. We ate the chicken soup over the course of the next few weeks. Needless to say, it was very good. However, there were many times when Yin would remark that the soup would be much better if she had a live chicken and cut Chinese way. I didn’t have a clue of the following: One: Where to get a live chicken? Two: How to kill the chicken in a condominium complex, without violating some rule or another. Three: Who got to do the killing? Mainly because I know that my wife is a “city slicker” and the closest that she came to a farm was when she was employed at the PRC Agriculture Bureau, looking at rice paddies and aphids. However, love is love. I began inquiring of people, where I could purchase live chickens. I got some seriously weird looks from people. When they asked why, I would explain the desire for live chickens. They looked like the poor clerk (CM) I spoke of earlier. Many of them were smirking, as I would leave their company. Twice, I imagined that I laughter! (Probably, just my imagination!) I suppose that it good to bring some levity into people’s lives though. I will now set up the next scene for you. Yin and I frequently volunteer at the city animal shelter. I’m the son of a veterinarian and have loved animals all of my life. Yin at first wasn’t too sure about the shelter, since she didn’t have many pets or association with animals (besides rice aphids in her previous employers care). However, she took to it like a champ and began exercising some of the dogs, cats etc. I will point out that the shelter gets a myriad of animals, from raccoons and coatimundis and goes all the way to kittens and dogs. The point; the shelter also has chickens which have either been maltreated or use in cockfights. They are restored to health and later returned to the farm, adoptive home, etc. This is when Yin’s eyes lit up with a new novel and original idea. CHICKENS! In fact LIVE chickens! We now go to the animal shelter: Yin: "Langoun, I want to adopt chickens!” Dave: (me thinking quickly, Uh-oh! Something is up!) “Why?” Yin: “They need good home right?" Dave: “I suppose so! Why chickens? Get a dog or cat if you want” Yin: "But Langoun, I want to adopt some chickens!" I don’t want another dog!" Dave: "Darling, we can’t have a chicken in a condo! First our home is in city limits, which means no farm animals. In the second place I don’t even know what the condo rules are for chickens. Third, how would you feed them?" Yin: “We don’t need to feed them, Langoun!” Dave: (This gentlemen is where men need to have SAW. * Military term meaning situational awareness. I could see the gleam in wife’s eyes. Suddenly, harsh reality set in! ) “No Yin! You are not going to adopt chicken from the shelter, take them home with you and provide a pot for them to live in! Are you crazy, or what?” Yin: “It’s OK I think. No one is adopting them. They have been here three weeks. I am helping Oklahoma. I’m a very good Chinese woman.” Dave: "Darling, I love you! But do you want me to get arrested? The Oklahoma Police Dept would be pissed that I am killing chicken in our yard, with kids running all over the place. The animal shelter people will personally hang me up by my thumbs! Are you kidding? YOU ARE CRAZY!" Yin: "Then I can’t adopt chickens, Langoun?" Dave: "Not for eating them! NO!" Yin: "If you say so, Langoun we won’t adopt them." Dave: "Thanks honey!" Yin: “But, I still want live chicken for soup! You find for me, OK?" Dave: (sighhhhhh) "I’ll try darling." I finally found her chicken at a flea market near Oklahoma City. Went there and purchased three of them. Yes they were alive! I’m thinking that my wife will get off my butt for a while. To the readers remember when I sliced my own thumb in a previous post? To me I cut myself. To my wife, she swore that police and paramedics should have been called. My wife is deathly afraid of blood. Yep! You guessed it! I ‘m selected as the executioner of the chicken! Better half wanted to do in a tree in the front yard. Why and how is that some Chinese women, don’t look out of the window and see about 10 to 15 kids playing in the yard. This site alone should be a clue to even the slowest idiot! However, I bound their feet, performed the task very quickly and mercifully! Gave the chickens to Yin, who was tasked for dressing the carcasses. Finally! I’m thinking the end has arrived! Later, that night wife proudly set the table with her “Chengdu potted chicken.” Albeit with the head and feet still attached and strewed also (for that “particular”) Sichuan taste. It was obvious in her eyes that this was a meal meant for Chinese past memorable Chinese emperors of the Tang, Ming, and Song dynasties. And now for the reign of Emperor David, in Oklahoma City! I see the pride in her eyes at her culinary creation. I have now set the stage for the final segment. We began eating and the conversation approximately was as follows. Yin: “Langoun, how does hen chicken taste?” Dave: “Darling, it is delicious.” (I was saying this, as the omnipresent and baleful eye of the chicken head stared at me from the plate. Can a dead cooked chicken still be pissed off at me?) Yin: “David I told you female chicken is the best. We Chinese people know this. Wal Mart and American people don’t know!” Dave: “Yes, you are right again darling. Chinese people know what is better!” (I have learned to pick my battles carefully!) Thanks honey, for the delicious food”! I’m thinking that the battle has been won. Yin has her chicken. Now my life can return to normal again! Yin: “Darling there is something else though…” Dave: “What is it Lampo?” Yin: “American pork tastes funny too. I think American’s do not now how to make pork properly? Can you find Chinese style pork for me?” My closing thoughts are CRAP! What Frankenstein have I created? Is it my imagination, or do I hear the same people I talked to previously, laughing again at me? Well! I did marry her for better or worse! I wonder what the condo rules are regarding pigs? The Sichuan Chef and her kitchen slave will now fade to black! Take care all and Merry Christmas. Both of give to you our sincerest regards for continued prosperity, fortunes and continued health to your families and yourselves. . Dave P.S. Yin thanks for all the material you give to me. Thank you for your making my life never to be boring, ever again. I love you. Edited: to remove residual codes