American women 2

[BuffaloPaul]

At the risk of getting a lot of criticizm, I'll chirp in. Since I got divorced, I was able to listen to Dr Laura and read her book "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". It was an eye-opener for me and made me realize why my ex didn't want tme to listen to her show.

 

It is certainly incorrect to stereotype every American woman based on my experiences with a few of them. However, after reading that book, I came to a realization that in general American women do not have a lot of respect for real men anymore. I'm sure that given time, I could find someone here that respects men. But as an earlier writer noted, why try to find a needle in a haystack when you can look in a culture where most of the women have a healthy respect for men.

[Jeikun]

lol this topic is immortal I think.

 

I think most opinions here are shaped by bad first (sometimes second and third) experiences with American women prior to finding (at least relative) bliss with a Chinese woman. This skews one's opinions and views. Lotsa (formerly) bitter old dudes here... LOL

 

I guess my opinions differ as I had the luxury of having my heart ripped out and stepped on by a Chinese/Japanese woman - then some pleasant experiences with American girlfriends (just didn't prove to be "the one").

 

I get what everyone says about "stereotypes are based in fact or they wouldn't exist"... but they don't make it right or ok to perpetuate negative stereotypes. We should be sympathetic, as to the public at large men who seek foreign wives are stereotypes to be defective, controlling, ogerish, social retards. Obviously that stereotype is wrong in our cases, right?? Let's extend the same credit.

 

If I were a woman reading a post here about American women being awful would be like reading "hey f**ck you American girl, you aren't welcome here"... and we have many female members with a unique perspective to offer. And saying "well, there are exceptions, so present company excluded" don't make it okay.

 

ok?

 

[ptcrusier333rph]

yes, I feel we have our views about american women clouded by our ex wife. but not all come from them, I been slap for opening a door, and laugh at for being a gentleman, had a friend who so shy of women make a comment about coworker haircut, lost his job for sexual harrassment. poor guy will not look at a woman in the eye out of fear. 3 other lost their job because of her before they realize what was going on. I got 3 neightbors all single women that have children and live on child support because they don't want a man around and make it quite clear to everyone that they want children just no husband.

If you hear about abuse in the news it about men beating a woman, you never hear about the women beating men or verbal abuse. Laws that give women the right to keep the child when the father could be better parent. (there a woman in jail now wait child abuse because the judge 2 time decide that she was to be the sole custudy, she nearly beat her 2 kids to death, her ex husband nowfinal have them after 5 year of custudy battle.

Is women overseas better? I have no clue at the moment I in love with a woman from Viet Nam just because she from asia does not make her better or worse. she could have been next door, the internet have not bounaries

As for women getting mad about the bashing on here, I'm sure many of them can sprout off the stupid, cruel men as much as we can about women. America society today make it more a "ME" society than about giving to others. we tend to lost family and respect for the other person. and men have started to become beaten down, turn on any talk show or new and you hear how bad men are, how we men degrade women, how we men beat women, how we men are the problem.

I know I said I would not make a comment about this but I am tire, that we men can't voice out view about how we been treated, it seem ok if women can bash us but if we say anything even remotely bad about women, we get call up on the rug and amonish for our action.

Maybe when we get a little more respect, we can start holding our heads up high,

I still will open doors, and tip my hat, and hold out a chair, I may get slap or laugh at but at least I not going to lose who I am.

 

Robert

[Jeikun]

It's cool, man. No one's getting bashed in here.

[warpedbored]

I don't know what American wives are like. I have never had one. My ex is Japanese. We are still friends and she dumped on me a little but overall I still feel she is a good person. After we divorced I dated a few American women but they just weren't very interesting. I missed the intercultural exchange I had with my ex. One thing I am sure almost all of us here would agree on. Our foreign spouses whether male of female are much more interesting than American one.

[ptcrusier333rph]

hear hear

[ptcrusier333rph]

sorry jeikun not pointing at you, doing these forms, and having to find info on my ex wife, then reading about how we should be not saying anything bad about american women or women in general because we might hurt our CFL sister feeling, kind of just lite the power keg on me.

 

sorry

Robert

[Trigg]

yes, I feel we have our views about american women clouded by our ex wife.  but not all come from them, I been slap for opening a door, and laugh at for being a gentleman, had a friend who so shy of women make a comment about coworker haircut, lost his job for sexual harrassment. poor guy will not look at a woman in the eye out of fear.  3 other lost their job because of her before they realize what was going on.  I got 3 neightbors all single women that have children  and live on child support because they don't want a man around and make it quite clear to everyone that they want children just no husband.

If you hear about abuse in the news it about men beating a woman, you never hear about the women beating men or verbal abuse. Laws that give women the right to keep the child when the father could be better parent. (there a woman in jail now wait child abuse because the judge 2 time decide that she was to be the sole custudy, she nearly beat her 2 kids to death, her ex husband nowfinal have them after 5 year of custudy battle.

Is women overseas better?  I have no clue at the moment I in love with a woman from Viet Nam just because she from asia does not make her better or worse. she could have been next door, the internet have not bounaries

As for women getting mad about the bashing on here, I'm sure many of them can sprout off the stupid, cruel men  as much as we can about women. America society today make it more a "ME" society than about giving to others.  we tend to lost family  and respect for the other person. and men have started to become beaten down, turn on any talk show or new and you hear how bad men are, how we men degrade women, how we men beat women, how we men are the problem. 

I know I said I would not make a comment about this but I am tire, that we men can't voice out view about how we been treated, it seem ok if women can bash us but if we say anything even remotely bad about women, we get call up on the rug and amonish for our action.

Maybe when we get a little more respect, we can start holding our heads up high,

I still will open doors, and tip my hat, and hold out a chair, I may get slap or laugh at but at least I not going to lose who I am.

 

Robert

Well said Robert. The whole PC thing is getting on my nerves. American women are very different than the Chinese. Both have good and bad points. For my money the Amereican woman has become to based in the 'me' attitude that prevails in our society. Although they make for good friends and neighbors, my wants and needs in a lifes partner go beyond the shallow thinking of the modern western woman. At risk of seeming politicaly incorrect I'm sticking with my Asian darlin. There are differences in people and cultures and my tastes for a wife would never allow me to marry an American woman. I'm sure there are many who's tastes for a wife would never allow them to marry a Chinese woman.

 

Maybe it's time to recognize differences and celebrate them for what they are.

 

Personnal choice!

[ptcrusier333rph]

and just a added side note. I'm usually very vocal if someone attack one of our CFL sisters.

 

Robert

[beijingjenny]

Yes, this is the topic that can never die. Come on people - everyone is entitled to their opinions formed by their experiences and while I would agree about many comments about American women, I think we should avoid these broad generalizations.

 

I can also say that many American men are boring too - there's a sweeping generalization, but just means people like us are looking for something more, intercultural relationships. That's why we're all here.

 

And believe me there are plenty of Chinese women I'm quite sure most of you guys wouldn't be able to stand.

[Jeikun]

And believe me there are plenty of Chinese women I'm quite sure most of you guys wouldn't be able to stand.

Hear Hear!

 

Seriously guys, I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be too PC here. In ost instances I spit on the concept. I guess I still remember a post a long time ago, where someone literally spit venom at "American Women"... very very hate-filled post, I argued against him, and his counter-point was "well since you don't agree with me and have to get the last word in, you're a troll and won't talk to you anymore" (paraphrasing). Many people at least in spirit posted defending his post in that thread. I was and still am shocked by that.

 

I believe in cultural diversity... dur WTF am I doing here? I've been in more cross-cultural relationships than not, lived in Korea, spent a lot of time in other Asian countries, and various states. I'm not saying "We're not differrent" I'm saying use some freaking tact! (I was also sauced when I posted last night... lol)

 

PC or not... if I made a post no matter how "true" speaking of the virtues of a white woman, and how I would never date one of those horrible black women again... and proceeded to list a laundry list of pros and cons for each... I would be eaten alive.

 

Constructive threads about cultural difference, even stereotype is cool with me. Posts that go "Those f***ing selfish, me-first child abandoning American women!! They're all alike!!! bla bla bla..." just suck... sorry but if you want to show your ass go right ahead....

 

I feel the pain... I'm a young, white, protestant, southern, straight, conservative, american... I'm everyone's asshole. Every thing is my fault from religious opression, to racism, to the war in iraq, to inequality of the sexes, right? LOL Big Deal.

[Trigg]

A nice defense of political correctness. To hell with the truth, let's all be PC. don't say what you believe-unless it is PC. C'mon JP-tell it like it is, not like the world wants you to say it~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BuffaloPaul]

A nice defense of political correctness. To hell with the truth, let's all be PC. don't say what you believe-unless it is PC. C'mon JP-tell it like it is, not like the world wants you to say it~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the work environment today un-PC talk is soooo looked down at. I have seen co-workers fired for expressing their views on any PC topic - race, sex or religion. Just look at what is happening to the President of Harvard for genetic difference "might" account for the number of female Vs male scientists. What ever happened to free speech? I think that its ok to voice an opinion but it is good manners to say it without having to resort to expletives or rants.

[Meiandmark]

My 2 cents

Being married 3X before and having 5 children and 3 grandchildren, I have run the gamut with american women "daughthers included". When you enter into a relationship its 50 from the git go. Some days 70, some days 30. Its all relative and works out in the wash, or not. It takes 2 to tango and only 1 to call off the dance. Too many factors are involved in any relationship to point a finger at the nationality of any woman or man. Multicultural relationship or not. Everyone's wants, needs and desires are too diverse to generalize. Sure, I could bash my X's to smitherines, but to what end? Sure I could say its all thier fault the relationships failed. But, I know in truth its 50 "Choice". What brings us together, can tear us apart and what keeps us apart, can bring us together. In any case, it's personal and subjective. If you want to live your life, carrying hatred in your soul, it's up to you! If you want to live your life giving allowance and understanding, it's up to you! However, my opinion (born usa citizen 48 years) and I am entitled to my opinion , which is'--- If your heart and soul is so full of disdain, how can you possibly expect to make a home in your heart and soul, for the love of your SO to grow and flourish, now or in the future? Forgive and forget as best you can and move on! Hate if you must, but blame only yourself for the weight of the baggage "you" elect to carry with you throughout your life. Rise above it all

if you dare.

[Jason+Joanna]

As the old saying goes there are bad apples in each bunch. Meaning there is both good and bad in any society. Personally, I have had my share of bad -- and it was not exclusively with white women either (not all American women are white -- fyi). I had just as much bad luck with asian women in the US as white women in the US.

 

However, I not going to play the blame game -- I am not interested in being a VICTIM. There are millions of American men and Women happily married today. Statically speaking we are a minority, so saying all American Women are EVIL from our stand point, while may be true in our particular cases, is obviously not a valid statement in general. Of course you could make a case on divorce rate -- but then again, divorce is rarely the fault of one party. If you think it is, either you are the rare exception or you are not taking responsibilty for your own part.

 

When I was looking around, I did not limit myself to a certain geographical area. However, I did surmise that I did have a better chance to find someone that held a similar value system I did some where else after finding people into games and worse locally. It just so happen that person is in China. It could have been the Mid-West.

 

Basically I am saying, even if you have been burned at the stake, so to speak, that is no reason to treat others like they are devil spawn. I always go by the golden rule -- "treat others as you would have them treat you". It works fairly well in general.

 

Lets not play the blame game, if I were a women using this board I would be very put-off by something like this thread, just because of the guilt trip. You could make an arguement that this all PC crap and brush it under the rug hoping to make it go away -- but when the government labels us control freaks and abusive people (blaming us -- as in a report posted by one of our fellow CFL members a while back) did we like it -- NO, did the government make obvious generalizations -- YES.

 

Lets all get back to hurrying up and waiting for our SOs rather that ramble on and on this subject. It is not constructive -- in fact it is very alienating.

 

Well that my 2.5 cents...