How supportive are people around you ?

[Jason+Joanna]

I am just wondering how supportive people are round the idea of marrying someone outside this country. My own family is very supportive, although my dad was asomewhat incredulous about it at first. My friends are also very supportive of the idea as well. The real problem I encounter is from a very few guys at work. They seem to be living in the stone age or something.

 

What is your experience with this ?

[Carl]

I can only speak for myself on this matter. I work at the local VA hospital. When I announced to my workmates that I married Ying, everybody was very happy for me. The chaplin wants to have a welcome to the US party for us and since we really did not have any type of ceremony in China has suggested that she do a special ceremony for us. As for my parents, they think I was crazy to marry again, but now that I am, they will treat her as their own daughter. I hope you are as lucky

[Phil & Ningning]

My whole family is excited at the prospect of a new sister/daughter/aunt. My brother is a bit hard to pin down. He doesn't express much emotion, and the fact that he is going through a rough patch of his own doesn't help. My sister and her husband travel quite a bit, they have done Europe a few times and Australia once or twice. They are so excited about it that they have expressed a serious interest in going with me to meet her family and escort her home. My mom wrote Jiening a letter welcoming her to our family shortly after I announced our engagement last Christmas. Even my friends at work could not be happier.

No one is more excited than I am.

[ghall20]

I had banged the idea of a Chinese wife off some of my friends before I told them that I planed on Marring one just to see what they said... Some of the comments were Guy talk but I bet there are things said we don't hear...

Most Americans know nothing about china... They think it is what they see in the background of a 007 movie in Hong Kong..

 

Before I got married I never took much intrest in China either. But now I read the China Daily two to three times a week just to see what is happening in my other country...

[wolffjw]

My friends and coworkers are all excited and very supportive. My family wants whatever makes me happy and are also very supportive. I might add that I've even got a few (guy) friends who told me they are a little jealous. Over all everyone I know is very excited and supportive.

 

Also, Ningning's parents and family like me very much too and are very supportive. They feel that if I make their daughter happy and if she loves me, then they are supportive of her decision. But they have taken it one step further and welcomed me to their family. I am a lucky guy for that.

 

I am so glad that I finally found the woman of my dreams and that she loves me as much as I love her. We have talked about living in China and America, and it has no bearing on our relationship where we live. We are both just very happy to be so much in love with each other. It is a dream come true for both of us.

 

-jim

[Guest jimcope]

Hi

Every one has the worng idea in what we are doing. they think you get married and bring them home the next day. Or that china does not want any one to leave china. They do not know it is the U.S. that is the hold up. I found that my true friends care about and does not want me to get hurt. then their is the people that just what is wrong with american women, I find that is easy to answer but will not lay that on some one. We have the right to pick our love one with out question and coments from others. for we did not coment them about their american wife. I do not care what others think and do I need them to understant. but the friends and family that care about us its nice to have their support.

JIM

[ski518]

Well, my experience has been different. Most of my family members are "ok" with the idea, but Mom is against it. You must know that my my mom is from the "old country" (Greece). She will get use to it I suppose. She too was once a young woman entering the US. My father brought her into this country (he was born in the US) by way of marriage. Some of my friends are fine with it, but I few are strongly against it. Wu Zaza and I met in Shenzhen 18 months ago (I was living in Shenzhen) and we have been living together pretty much for the entire time. 10 days ago, I proposed to her in front of about 150 people at the V-Bar (Crowne Plaza in Shenzhen). It was cool. The band put me on stage and I proposed to her. It was a surprize and in my speech, I got a little choked-up. By the end of the speech, Wu Zaza was crying and so were most of the girls in the bar. Wu Zaza continued to cry for about 1/2 hour. She was soooo happy and you know what....so am I. I love her dearly. I can't wait to get her here and brew up a Chinese / Greek / American child. Although, I do respect my friends / family opinions, in the end it's only Zaza and me that matters.

[Jeikun]

I've had nothing but support, even though right at first my Grandmother and Dad thought I had lost my mind. Not due to any kind of discrimination, just the idea of maintaining a relationship over such long distance. They, and the rest of my family are very much looking forward to meeting Jun. One of the girls I work with, seems nearly as excited as I am - keeps offering to take her shopping, show her around, etc. All in all I think we have a good support system in place to make her transition as smooth as possible.

[warpedbored]

My mother is very conservative. At one time she actually thought the John Birch society was a cool organization. When I told her I was going to marry a Chinese woman she thought maybe Bing was a commie spy or something. After meeting her on the internet via webcam and meeting Bings mother via webcam she came to realize that Chinese are people just like her and not the proverbial "RED MENACE" Now that Bing is here and we have been back home to meet the family My mother adores her. I think she likes her better than me lol.

[oregonknl]

Won't speak to the Chinese marriage issue.... My Parents are gone, and I don't give a rip about my brother or sister's opinion...

 

But about the first adoption --- My ex wife's family was openly racist --- her brother refered to Jet as: "The Gook" and her father said of her: " that child is not blood --- it means nothing to me...." I urged my then wife to support Jet, and sever ties with her family ---- but she never did....

 

Another family in our adoption group when the father told his favorite grandmother that they were going to adopt a child in China (she knew full well the long term problems they had had trying to become pregnant) said: "Well...... can't say I'm happy about that....."

[maiyademama]

My mother is very conservative.  At one time she actually thought the John Birch society was a cool organization.   When I told her I was going to marry a Chinese woman she thought maybe Bing was a commie spy or something.  After meeting her on the internet via webcam and meeting Bings mother via webcam she came to realize that Chinese are people just like her and not the proverbial "RED MENACE" Now that Bing is here and we have been back home to meet the family My mother adores her.  I think she likes her better than me lol.

LMAO!

 

My mom, seriously wanted to commit me to a hospital to get my brain "un-washed." She tried to get my friends to talk me into going to a clinic because she thought my friends would hold more sway over my decisions than she could....fortunately my friends had more faith in my sense of self-will!!! She thought that I had become brainwashed by subliminal messages on Chinese television. She was in no way willing to accept that I could marry a Chinese man of my own free will! From a woman who married an ethnic Chinese man herself (he wasn't a communist though since he grew up in Jakarta). sheesh!

 

Now she thinks that China maybe didn't brainwash me but definitely influenced me to become a *liberal*--- which I am not. Just because we have differing political views, to her I am a *victim* of liberal propoganda. Maybe it is because of the generation she grew up in, but I have to ask her to please refrain from making big blanket statements about this race or that. All my life I have had to ask her to call us (her kids) Asian or Chinese Americans and not "oriental." Gotta love her anyway!

 

[Squid]

My family was truly wowed and amazed that I was finally getting married. (I am still single at 37 yrs old.) They knew that, since I had searched for "the one" for all those years, she must be something special. Since she was in the U.S. on an education visa, I was able to take her to the annual Thanksgiving family gathering as well as my other smaller family gatherings. They all told me afterward, "How did you catch her? She is gorgeous!" I even had an older uncle ask her point blank, "Why do you have to leave the country? You are too cute to leave the country."

 

I just got back from visiting my honey in China. I had taken my mom with me to which she had an experience of a lifetime. Her only first hand experience in another country was when she had driven across the border to Mexico in the late 60's. She loved China!

[James]

My family and friends were supportive. Some expressed concern about the suddenness of it all. But overall I have been pleasantly surprised.

 

I have not heard any racist comments that I can think of. Maybe people say things behind my back, who knows? Who cares? When she gets here and they see how beautiful and charming she is, I think they'll be envious more than anything.

[xian47]

Well..i'm never been the kind of a guy that follows a crowd. Hey..i'm 49yo and never been married.The first time i ever saw here on internet i fell in love and i knew no matter what..this was the one for me.My family at first alittle freaked out but they are much better now..i just hope the VO feels the same way

[Phil & Ningning]

Something amazing happened last night. I had replied to this thread shortly earlier when my mother stopped by my house. I was thinking how lucky I am to have a wonderful woman in my life and that my family has been so accepting.

 

Several months ago, My girls apartment was broken into and one of the things taken was the engagement ring I had given her. My mom knew Jiening was heartbroken by this and came to my home to give me a gift for her. Apparently, she has been keeping my paternal grandmother's wedding rings since my dad passed away. I have a brother, two sisters, and many cousins from that side of the family, but she seems to think he wanted me to have it. I almost cried when she said she thought Ningning should have them. It is an extraordinary gesture to help her feel like she is really part of the family.