our real lives, not expected

[Guest steve200]

I do not know what to do.

 

She finally came here from China with K1 visa 3 years after we met. She was a perfect girl in my eyes. I thought that we could live happily after forever. But things started to change after a few months. With 2 years since she stepped on this land, she turned into a completely different person. Is it because she changed? Or is it because it needs to take 2 years to understand a person.

 

It is my second marriage and I have two little kids. When she was in China, she told me that she likes kids very much and she would not have problems with my kids. Now, she would not accept them at all, telling me that why should she care about them because she did not give birth to them. She always argue that I am not being fair because I only give her money that is only a fraction of the child support I pay.

 

She says that she would not accept a labor-intensive job, such as waitress. But she does not like to go through pain to take TOEFL and GRE to get admitted into a good graduate school. And she speaks English very little. But she says that she has to become independent. She blames me that she still has not get a high-paid job.

 

Several times she has been telling me that she does not like this marriage. She wants to find a man without kids, and also younger and richer (she is 10 yeas younger than me). She is reminding me that in divorce by law she at least will get the half of everything I have, including properties, bank savings, stocks, retirement plans … Actually I have added her names into all of bank accounts and credit card accounts while she keep all her money in her own personal bank accounts.

 

I do not know what to do.

[maiyademama]

Sounds like you should talk to a lawyer. If i were you, I would NEVER accept someone in my life who wasn't absolutely in love with my children! This is very important...your children should always come first. As for the rest, take whatever steps necessary to protect yourself and your assets.

 

Good luck

[helen_wang]

she goes too far, better ask ur lawyer for help...wish u good luck.

strange,i just noticed a similar post in 001 as well,is she ur wife?

maybe it is just a coincidence.

[Guest tina3333]

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[yuan95]

Hi,

 

Record or vedio what she says something about she does not like to look after your kids or anything selfish, it will be helpful someday, or to check out if she has someone to help her to cheat you. Anything may happen.

 

I hope you find a good way to deal with her. Be careful, keep an eye to watch your little kids in case she hurts them. Do your kids old enough to tell you if someone treat them badly? Take good care of them!!!!

[Guest enight]

we are only hearing one side of story, of course, I am not saying what Steve said wasn't true, but

 

1. your wife said she lovesd kids very much when she was in China, that's probably not a lie, she had never married and never had experience with ex marriage's kids, and now she knows how's the real life taste like.

 

2. do you really trate your wife fairly? not only financially, but energy; time etc compare to how you treat your kids? you don't need to answer here, just answer yourself frankly.

 

3. now she will look for a guy richer and younger and no kids. It looks like your wife has a very clear goal now, when a woman says things like that, there is no possiblity to maintain the marriage any more. sooner or later, the marriage will be ended.

 

you are saying your wife was a 'perfect' girl in your eyes, it seems either you or she was not right.

 

we have seen several cases are ended / ending cause of ex kids issue, I believe there will be more coming..

 

many women married over with guys have kids, most of them don't have experience with ex kids. if You ( guys here) don't understand this or don't pay enough attention on this issue, the marriage wouldn't work out.

[tonado]

That is why one should take time before deciding to get married.

[Guest enight]

Hi E. Haven't seen you in a long time. Hope all is well with you and Alan - how about updating us in a new thread? 

hi Don, we are good, travelled a lot, and making friends (chinese american couples), in the past weekend, we had a big camping party with couples here in RI, MA, CT in MA Myles Forest State Camping site. was a wonderful time, looking forward to do it again in Sept maybe.

 

we stayed in FL for one month, when we were there Alan and I drove (he drove) 8 hours each way from Tampa to Key West, and we invited a new couple Luke & Rebecca to our Tampa home stayed a weekend, life is wonderful to have nice friends and nice vaction

 

I finally got Passport stamped last week, so next week we can go to Canadian side to see the fall, the end of July and begining of August we will be on West Coast for 2 weeks. his younger daughter will be join us for one week travelling (she is flying there from CT here for Army training this morning)

 

so , lots things are going on, we both feel time flys too fast.

 

so far, so good, we had some kids issue as well, but not big issue, we discuss then decide the best way to do.

 

Don, how about your guys? would love to hear from your updates as well, my email address was changed to qiong_yang@hotmail.com.

[MoonCarolCafe]

She is reminding me that in divorce by law she at least will get the half of everything I have, including properties, bank savings, stocks, retirement plans …

 

And you are NOT reminding her that the rules varies by state, and length of marriage. Why? Well, this might sound a bit cruel...

 

Based upon your description (Only one side of the story) methinks you should do what is best for your children (Child support? So you don't have custody?)

 

Cut your losses. Make this divorce #2 ASAP.

 

I'm going to guess that she does not want to have any children with you. How much do you want to bet you will get divorce papers shortly after the third anniversary of your marriage?

 

Do you want to endure another year with a woman who is using you? When it comes to divorce, the earlier the better.

[warpedbored]

Welcome back E!!!! we missed you. Your insight has always been valuable to me.

 

If the story above is true and not some fiction, that woman should be deported immediately. We whine about how GZ makes us jump through so many hoops to get our loved ones here and this woman slips through the cracks of the system and not only wants the green card but half the mans assets? Fortunately these stories are rare and the vast majority of Chinese women only want a good husband. Hmmm thinking on it harder it seems there should be some prison time involved for women like her too. After all it is fraud isn't it?

[Larry & Meirong]

I have heard it said that it is the man's duty to love his wife, and the wife's duty to respect her husband. It sounds like there is no respect there-from the one side that we have heard. I can tell you that I was once in a mariage where the love was gone, and no respect. I let it linger way too long. GET OUT NOW. DON'T LINGER IN THAT MARRIAGE. I was lucky, I found a wonderful Chinese woman, but not all are.

[Guest enight]

that's not true...

 

the woman posted on 001 Americna site was saying

 

the husband agreed to have kids with her before she married over, after she moved over, the husband says he doesn't have energy and $$ to support more kids, and even said, ' if you want to have a kid, then you take care of the baby alone... ' etc.

 

she doesn't look for a man younger and richer, at least from what she posted, she just said ' I want a simple life' a guy has no kids and will he is willing to have babies with me...

[Guest enight]

Welcome back E!!!! we missed you. Your insight  has always been valuable to me. 

thank you very much Carl & Bing

[skibum]

Please make sure she gets back to China so we do not have another case of visa fraud. If she refuses to go back, I think you will have to accept that fact that she came for the green card and not you.

[maiyademama]

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