Please help me tell my wife I'm not the stupidest person on Earth

[True Blue]

Our situation: Please bear with me.... I'm gritting my teeth again....

 

First the "pretty normal" stuff- our background

- Wife came over on K-1 visa, we married, adjusted status and wife now has 10 year green card. Badly misses her daughter.

- Her unmarried daughter was 25 when we married and was in graduate school in England. She applied for a tourist visa to visit us and was turned down due (no reason given but I assume for no strong ties to China).

- Daughter has since returned to China and now has worked in Beijing for 18 months.

- I asked on this forum what were the chances of an unmarried under 30 year old woman with less than a year job experience and little property getting a tourist VISA to visit us in USA and the consensus was it was impossible. This advice consistent with what I expected and had read both here and elsewhere. SO it was pretty obvious she would not be visiting us in the USA anytime soon.

- So I advised my wife to apply for an immigration visa for her daughter. She did so 18 months ago and it looks like (based on the recent Visa bulletins) she will need to wait another 8 years for a spot to open up. If she marries then my wife needs to become citizen and the wait is an additional 2 years or so.

- Now daughter won't be able to come as a tourist for the next 8 years as she cannot show that she does not have "intent to immigrate" but I think it is a non-issue as she pretty much wasn't going to get a tourist visa anyway,

-My wife believed that my plan was the best course of action....UNTIL....

 

Now the "interesting stuff"

- Wife's Chinese couple friends down the street here in Florida brought their parents over on a tourist Visa yesterday and announced. that the parents will just stay in USA and live here. Their Chinese-American lawyer told them once the parents are in the country there is" no problem adjusting status to become a permanent immigrant- just make sure they do not leave"

- Now wife's Chinese doctor here in Florida suggested I could have done same thing to get step-daughter here and that I am basically an idiot for filing for legal immigration.

 

At this point in the story (if you haven't fallen asleep yet) you are probably

-"shocked" that my wife would believe anything told to her about American immigration laws by another Chinese person over her husband who has lived in USA for 6 decades.

- "amazed" at my stupidity for agreeing to wait in line stepdaughters immigration visa for 10 years when there is such an easy way to accomplish this in 6 months by getting her in as a tourist and adjusting status or

-"stunned" that I need to validate my assumptions, show your responses to my wife and have her tell her friends (who are planning to close on a house for their tourist/immigrant parents next month) the truth that the must wait in line like everyone else.

-all involved get that there is a line and that people need to wait in it - they just don't think that it applies to them.

 

Please Help!...and please spell it out in simple plain English so my wife can easily understand....

 

Q1. Is there any circumstance where persons admitted to the USA on a tourist visa can adjust status to an immigration visa?

 

Q2. What will happen to the "tourists" if they just stay in the USA after their tourist Visa expires?

 

Q3. Can said "tourists" apply for and get US Social Security and Medicare benefits when they overstay their Visa?

 

Q4. Can anyone answering these questions claim to be "Born in China" ? (as we all know that a Chinese person you met randomly 3 minutes ago is certainly more of an expert on America, American immigration and life in the USA than some of us old out of touch geezers who were born here and have lived here for 60 years.)

[credzba]

I can only laugh, sorry.

Everything you said is typical, true, and predictable.

 

I have begun to go the route of least guilt imparted to me.

My suggestion, based on that philosophy is do whatever the Chinese are telling your wife will work.

Make it clear you think the visa application is a waste of money, but your willing to do anything to help your lovely wife, even throw money away (maybe don't say that last part, but you can think it).

 

If your wife wants her daughter over here, she should become a citizen, and dont let daughter marry until after she has her green card.

But in the mean time, you can apply for visas or do whatever is required to avoid YOU being the guilty party.

[dnoblett]

OK here is your neighbor's situation, Parents came for a visit and then decided to immigrate, this happens often, and this is how it works, the son/daughter of the visiting parents is a naturalized US Citizen, and as such the parents qualify for an immediate visa number under the unlimited visa class, so either way, filing an I-130 for them would result in a visa issued shortly after USCIS approves the I-130, NOT YEARS. In this case a person is allowed to adjust status (I-485) based on the fact that they qualify for an immediate visa number. This is the same case as a visiting student falls in love with a US Citizen, they can adjust status based ion the immediate visa number allowed to spouses of a US Citizen.

 

In the case of a person that does not qualify for an immediate visa number, like a son/daughter over the age of 21, they do not qualify to adjust status until a visa number can be assigned, (8 to 10 years from now)

 

To answer questions.

 

Q1. Yes a person that would qualify for an imediate visa number could adjust status shortly after arrival on a tourist visa.

• Parents of a US Citizen (IR-5)
  
• Son/Daughter of US Citizen under age (IR-2)
  
• Step Son/Step Daughter of US Citizen who was step child before age 18 when parents married. (Though would be more logical to file an I-130 for an IR-2 visa.
  
• Spouse of a US Citizen (Typically in the USA on a work or student visa) Though I have seen cases where a fiancee came to the USA as a tourist and then adjusted status after marriage (Immigrant intent can come into play)
  

Q2. They become out of status, and if out of status too long, and return to home country, a 3 to 10 year bar on travel to the USA can be placed. Also can become subject to removal for overstay.

 

Q3. NO, to apply for SSN, would need to be work authorized, which a tourist is not.

 

Q4. Native born for me..

[david_dawei]

Q1. Did you sign some paper saying the wife was marrying you so that she could bring her 25 year old daughter in tow, without question?

 

If not... maybe remind her that you file for her; not the extend family. At 25, she should be on her own to live out her own life... Unless the mom really has a bigger US plan than she filled you in on. Then you may have bigger problems than just an daughter immigration issue.

 

Q2. What are her priorities here; Marriage or extracting her family to the US... this goes back to Q1. Was that on the paper you sign with her...

 

This is laughable, typical, and predictable... but it is the chinese game being played on the USC... suddenly everybody should be able to come in tow...

 

Q3. Where are you in FL... maybe we should get together... my wife will likely tell her (in a chinese sort of way) that she is the stupid one to enter a marriage with so many latent strings attached.

 

Her life and her daughter's life (based on her age and ability to immigrate) are separate lives... a reality check is missing here in exchange for some obsession.

[credzba]

I didn't help much with first post, but I can offer this.

 

A good friend of ours brought her 21 year old daughter with her (must have been 20, but almost 21).

In my opinion she ruined that girls life.

 

By age 25, she should be graduating from college, hopefully found the man of her dreams, and starting life.

Instead, she cannot pass the ESL classes, she can't find a good job because of poor english, and no college degree.

She only meets low income men, because thats the only jobs she can get.

 

Instead of helping her daughter achieve a better life, he mother in fact did the opposite.

I know her mother loves her daughter more than anything, and still she tries everything she can think of to help resolve the situation.

Unfortunately, now the options are not good.

 

Return to China, she is too old for university, and wont be able to find a good job there.

Most of the good marriageable boys in China found wives, or if they haven't they want a girl with more education.

Training for jobs that don't require much English in america is not easy, and the resulting jobs are not great.

 

I hope your wife talks to someone reasonable before she tries to bring her 25 yr. daughter to America.

Life here isn't easy, and without a degree from an American university, good jobs are very difficult to get.

[NUWORLD]

Q1. Did you sign some paper saying the wife was marrying you so that she could bring her 25 year old daughter in tow, without question?

 

If not... maybe remind her that you file for her; not the extend family. At 25, she should be on her own to live out her own life... Unless the mom really has a bigger US plan than she filled you in on. Then you may have bigger problems than just an daughter immigration issue.

 

Q2. What are her priorities here; Marriage or extracting her family to the US... this goes back to Q1. Was that on the paper you sign with her...

 

This is laughable, typical, and predictable... but it is the chinese game being played on the USC... suddenly everybody should be able to come in tow...

 

Q3. Where are you in FL... maybe we should get together... my wife will likely tell her (in a chinese sort of way) that she is the stupid one to enter a marriage with so many latent strings attached.

 

Her life and her daughter's life (based on her age and ability to immigrate) are separate lives... a reality check is missing here in exchange for some obsession.

 

Good post David, Right to the point.

I would have to agree with all questions.

This is NOT a package deal all on one visa.

 

IMO: Tell the 25 year old to find her own USC husband

[amberjack1234]

Yep all of the above are absolutely true. Just another voice. I think that back in my wife's brain somewhere she is expection to bring her, now 14 year old, nephew here. It would be even harder to get him here than a daughter. I'm just standing by for the S*** to hit the fan. She thinks that she is do damn smart about these matters and she is but she is wrong about this one. For now I am keeping tight lips about this. She actually filled out all of her papers and did everything herself all I had to do was sign my John Henry but our case was different than 99% here.

 

Larry

[Beachey]

 

Q3. NO, to apply for SSN, would need to be work authorized, which a tourist is not.

 

 

 

And even if they did qualify for a SSN such as parents coming on an IR-5 they have to work in the US and accumulate enough credits before they are eligible to actually collect Social Security or Medicare.

[dan_ling]

Yep all of the above are absolutely true. Just another voice. I think that back in my wife's brain somewhere she is expection to bring her, now 14 year old, nephew here. It would be even harder to get him here than a daughter. I'm just standing by for the S*** to hit the fan. She thinks that she is do damn smart about these matters and she is but she is wrong about this one. For now I am keeping tight lips about this. She actually filled out all of her papers and did everything herself all I had to do was sign my John Henry but our case was different than 99% here.

 

Larry

 

I'm in the same boat, my wife is telling me that her sister wants her son to come to the US and go to a University here, that all she needs to do is file for the Visa and he can live with us.

[dnoblett]

Yep all of the above are absolutely true. Just another voice. I think that back in my wife's brain somewhere she is expection to bring her, now 14 year old, nephew here. It would be even harder to get him here than a daughter. I'm just standing by for the S*** to hit the fan. She thinks that she is do damn smart about these matters and she is but she is wrong about this one. For now I am keeping tight lips about this. She actually filled out all of her papers and did everything herself all I had to do was sign my John Henry but our case was different than 99% here.

 

Larry

 

I'm in the same boat, my wife is telling me that her sister wants her son to come to the US and go to a University here, that all she needs to do is file for the Visa and he can live with us.

Not as complicated, only issue is that first needs to be accepted by a college, and you could act as support. You may provide an I-134 showing support, however the student needs to apply for the visa at the consulate.

[Dennis143]

OK, not legal, but definitely what most Chinese believe and know...

 

Get your feet on American soil somehow legally, tourist, student etc visa... and then overstay.

 

Live and work within the Chinese community, marry an American or file for asylum (works more often than not, many just claim that they can't return to their abusive husband etc).

 

Seems our immigration courts tend to be lenient towards those who got here legally.

[chilton747]

There can be only one stoopidest man on earth and according to my wife, that's me.

 

So you can tell your wife that it can't be you.

[ChrisA]

There can be only one stoopidest man on earth and according to my wife, that's me.

 

So you can tell your wife that it can't be you.

 

Chilton, I agree, seems that we both fit into the same catagory, in my case someone is learning a hard lesson now.

 

As for the OP, there is 1 interesting point to make, once his wife rely's on the word of others and believes this to be the absolute truth, it's almost a lost cause at this point. The situation is different of what the OP stated about the Chinese friends parents versus what his wife wants for her daughter. Life with the OP and his wife will take a major turn and be tested to the max at this point, until she's ready to accept the fact that we don't change law to fit our needs, that there is no other work around to accomplish the desires of the wife to get her daughter here sooner. That's the reason why we have laws.

Edited September 22, 2012 by ChrisA (see edit history)

[Yuanyang]

There can be only one stoopidest man on earth and according to my wife, that's me.

 

So you can tell your wife that it can't be you.

 

Of course it's YOU! Why do you think she sought out someone from the other side of the planet? She wanted The Stooopidist Man in the world. (That's what I tell mine. )

[Randy W]

We can tell her for you, but . . . . . . . . SHE'LL KNOW!