AGE DIFFERENCE

[JIALIandTOM]

I have been a lurker here since November 17 2010 which is the date of our NOA-1 ,I received a text message and email that our visa was approved on April 29 2011. I feel like I have gotten to know you all fairly well since I check in everyday and read the new posts. I see that for the most part you you give thoughtful , intelligent answers so here goes my question. How much does age difference affect GUZ' decision making? Before you answer please take a look at our Gallery pictures and tell me honestly what you think.By way of a little background, I have visited 3 times beginning in August 2010, stayed at her parents house twice, her parents love me. We are engaged (diamond ring) .I love her very much and she loves me. We have traveled to Guilin and Hong Kong together so many pictures , tons with all the family members and neighbors too. So I guess my question is, am I too old? I am afraid to tell you how big the difference is. Take a look at our pics first please and then let me know what you think. (I tried to place pics here but couldn't figure out how, sorry)

I will give you my real age in the next post.. I know, stoopid right?

Thankyou in advance

[bullmastiff]

is this for K1 or CR1 ???

For K1 , there will be a lot of questions of the seriousness of the relationship. It's so damn easy to deny K1 and to let it expire ( like thanks for your money ) and nothing you can do about it.

 

If it is for CR1 , as long as you can document it that your marriage is for real , not for immigration purpose only ,there is no reason why it shouldn't be approved !!! It's not the government 's job to determine what kind of man or what kind of woman your wife or your husband should look like . He or she could look like an alien boy or girl for God 's sake but who cares ??? Being an alien boy doesn't disqualify one from receiving immgration benefit; marriage for the purpose of immigration soley is a disqualification to receiving immigration benefit.

 

and of course, in case of concern, consult a top immigration lawyer, like Marc Ellis ,etc...

Edited May 4, 2011 by bullmastiff (see edit history)

[Kyle]

Provide plenty of evidence (including pictures w/ you and her/her family). Your evidence should not end with pictures though. Your multiple visits will go in your favor. Which visa is this for?

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

Age difference means a helluva a lot more to the woman's family and friends than she may let on to the man. If she is young and of child-bearing years (under 35), and / or never had a child, and the man is an old fart, 20 years her senior....well.....

 

...she will probably get a lot of grief from her family and friends about it. Don't underestimate it, don't minimize it, and don't try to apply a Western value to it by pushing the woman to ignore the words of her family and friends. Happens all the time in the West, but it will make for a very fragile marriage. Every case is different for a couple in China. If you are intuitive, and able to talk to her family, then ask them directly whether they are willing to accept you. If they are not, then take that as a clue to move on.

[JIALIandTOM]

We are doing a K1. I will definitely be there for her interview, so this will make the fourth trip. As I mentioned before her family has accepted me and is looking forward to our marriage. They even let us sleep together in her room which surprised me and her. i don't feel like an old fart.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

We are doing a K1. I will definitely be there for her interview, so this will make the fourth trip. As I mentioned before her family has accepted me and is looking forward to our marriage. They even let us sleep together in her room which surprised me and her. i don't feel like an old fart.

 

 

Then hang with it and go for it. You've managed to take the most important step and that is becoming friends with her family. Good luck to you both. You are now on the downslope, and will be together soon in the US.

[pbatt]

LiYuan and I have a 23 year age difference.As others have said, age may or may not be a problem. To me is a number, has nothing to do with true love and caring. Its good her family accepts you and agrees with everything. Its a good thing also that you can be there for the interview and wish you success.

 

The real problem is explaining any red flags and overcoming them.But in the end,its really both your eyes that matter most.

Good Luck

Paul

[knloregon]

J & T ~ Your pictures do you credit, and they may be important at the interview--- family pictures---showing your full acceptance into the extended family are perhaps, even more important. Clearly, this age difference COULD raise red flags.

 

She will need to interview as a 'fully formed woman' --- totally in control of her understanding of the relationship she is in with you. No regrets, and projecting as an intellectual equal, who can articulate to the satisfaction of the VO ---why she wants to be your wife.

[Highlander 08 09 10 11]

On our first Interview, Dec 2009, negative comments were made about our photos, in that my beard is white, has been for many years. At a glance of our photos, our age difference would appear quite a bit. My girl, 12 years younger than I, colors her hair often, and I have had a white beard for many years. My wife has not colored her hair for some time, so she has alot of gray and white on top now. In the newer photos, our age difference seems to be very little. At the 4 May Interview, positive comments were made of her hair. I told her she has "honest hair", without the color. I would bet that today she is coloring her hair..

[Wil]

Hi There.

I am 62 years old and my fiancee is 33 years old. Marc Ellis is my attorney who is handling my VISA application (K-1). We will soon send in the application. Eunice (Ellis's assistant) said that my fiancee is young so she should do her interview in English. My fiancee is going to English school right now.

 

When I saw your picture, I didn't think anything about age difference between you two. Especially since my age difference with my fiancee is much greater than most of the couples here.

 

Wil

Edited May 5, 2011 by Wil (see edit history)

[bullmastiff]

I do have one question to ask .

Since you are able to visit her many times & know her family well , why not get married & file for CR 1 instead of doing a K1 visa ?

[TLB]

We are doing a K1. I will definitely be there for her interview, so this will make the fourth trip. As I mentioned before her family has accepted me and is looking forward to our marriage. They even let us sleep together in her room which surprised me and her. i don't feel like an old fart.

 

 

Acceptance by family is good, multiple trips is good; as others have said though, K1 might be harder to get than if you married first in China. Not knowing the family background, they could think you (1) are financially more stable than she could get with a young Chinese man, (2) still could father a child with her, as long as you haven't been "fixed" you can father children for many years to come yet (even though you might not be around to see him or her to adulthood), and (3) that you won't stray: since you already have a hot young Chinese babe on your arms, why would you?

 

From what others have said on these forums, I think a large age difference is an issue, but not one that cannot be overcome. I just hope you know her well -- these pages are also full of stories of young women coming to the US and then changing into something unrecognizable, with disastrous results for the marriage...

[xiaozhu]

I think the age difference will not be a "red flag" at Guangzhou and to me if your Chinese-American relationship can be viewed normal/common without the cross-country condition, for instance, your relationship could be viewed good if you and your wife/fiancée were both Americans, or both were Chinese.

 

However, it is pretty common that an old American man with a young foreign wife. And it is also pretty common of a big age difference to a Chinese couple or an American couple, normally the men is with money, position and authorities. (I do not exclude exceptions without money, position and authorities but very rare). A person’s age can be compensated by money, position, citizenship or anything else which is attractive.

Edited May 5, 2011 by xiaozhu (see edit history)

[JIALIandTOM]

Thank you all for your insightful comments and suggestions.'Knl' I will definitely discuss your ideas about the interview with Jia. As to why we are doing a K-1 instead of a CR-1, well, I originally decided on K-1 because I remember reading here that it was somewhat quicker. So now I have another question for you all. Would it be worthwhile switching gears now and applying for a CR-1? (We just received the NOA-2) How much time would it add to the process? Would I have to resend everything? Plus we haven't planned the wedding yet! SHE WANTS A BIG ONE IN CHINA! Thank you all again for sharing your experiences and for your encouragement.

[reblooming]

from the pictures I guess there is a big age diffrence between you and your fiancee. is it more than(or arround) 30 years?(only a guessing). but it is not something that can not be overcome. GZ would give you a visa sooner or later.(sometime only needs more efforts)

Edited May 6, 2011 by reblooming (see edit history)