Mengxin Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 I have some bad news. After being a member of the site for only one week. Meng and I are splitting before the party even got started. We were supposed to be married in Harbin in two weeks, but we were having too many communication difficulties and we decided not to marry after-all. Unfortunately things didn't work out. I wish all of you and your wife's all the best. Hopefully for those of you with visa's pending, your wait will be quick. Just to share a lesson learned with all of you. Don't sell yourself short. Good/Open communication is nessesary for a healthy relationship. Meng and I had a good thing going, but it eventually unraveled. Fortunately it happened before tieing the knot and submitting any paperwork. Best Regards Doug Link to comment
keelec Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Doug, I am sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you. Unfortunately, even though there may be many factors that bring an international couple couple together, the relationships are difficult at best. I assume you are in China now (or just about ready to leave to go to China). Have a wonderful time, and perhaps the more you learn about their culture, the better off you will be in the future. Best Wishes,Clifford Link to comment
Mick Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Sorry to hear things didn't work out for the two of you. Communication is one of the most important factors in any relationship. Without it, trust and emotional intimacy are hard to establish. Best wishes for a safe journey home. Good luck in the future. Link to comment
natrigon Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Doug, I am also sorry for you guys that things did not work out. As you mentioned it is way better for the breakup to happen now instead of another year from now. That is the one reason is am grateful for the unexpectedly long delay in processing our file. It has given Mei an extra 3 months (so far) to study English and given me the same opportunity to try and learn Mandarin. Good luck with your future. Louis Link to comment
keelec Posted January 3, 2004 Report Share Posted January 3, 2004 Doug, I re-read your original post. It sounds like a month ago you were building a wonderful relationship with your fiancée. Yet, a week ago it all crumbled. However, I do find the title of your post "Fresh Meat" a little concerning. You have to keep in mind that the foreign women that we are dating/marrying are looking for LOVE more than anything else, and definitely are not a commodity in any sense. Anyway, I am not sure what the conditions of your breakup was. You had met earlier and had a wonderful time together. Make sure that you did not break up because of an argument over things moving too quickly, or whether one should get married in China before the visa, or the USA after the visa. Of course, you want to be sure that you are ready for a 1+ year wait for the visa. ------ Clifford ------ Link to comment
chinadave2001 Posted January 4, 2004 Report Share Posted January 4, 2004 Confucius on communication..... "If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything."Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC) Link to comment
chinadave2001 Posted January 4, 2004 Report Share Posted January 4, 2004 I have some bad news. After being a member of the site for only one week. Meng and I are splitting before the party even got started. We were supposed to be married in Harbin in two weeks, but we were having too many communication difficulties and we decided not to marry after-all. Unfortunately things didn't work out. I wish all of you and your wife's all the best. Hopefully for those of you with visa's pending, your wait will be quick. Just to share a lesson learned with all of you. Don't sell yourself short. Good/Open communication is nessesary for a healthy relationship. Meng and I had a good thing going, but it eventually unraveled. Fortunately it happened before tieing the knot and submitting any paperwork. Best Regards DougDoug, While you are unlucky to have lost this relationship, I think you are lucky in some respects to have discovered this so early. Good luck to you in the future. Dave Link to comment
tonado Posted January 4, 2004 Report Share Posted January 4, 2004 Communication is very important. Also, both persons have to compromise. Link to comment
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