Concern

[dnoblett]

To contrast!

 

http://weathersticker.wunderground.com/weathersticker/bigwx_cond/language/www/US/ND/Bismarck.gif

 

http://weathersticker.wunderground.com/weathersticker/bigwx_cond/language/www/global/stations/48900.gif

Edited February 11, 2010 by dnoblett (see edit history)

[Bryon_Tran]

OMG soo cold, I see a move in your future

Yes Damn COLD.

 

http://www.wunderground.com/history/airpor...hlyHistory.html

 

Lowest -15 for this month overall average 8 degrees.

 

Last month it hit -33F there.

 

http://weathersticker.wunderground.com/weathersticker/bigwx_cond/language/www/US/ND/Bismarck.gif

I'm going to get a portable heater for next year so she can take it room to room. I think I would go broke if I had to keep my house 80 degrees' all year long.

[roblimei]

Thanks for the responses I feel better knowing that it is not that uncommon.

 

I live in Bismarck it is very cold and we have no market but 200 miles away in Fargo there is a small shop that has some stuff. The next closest place is Minnapolis about 400 miles away. I think we will be ordering food online if I can find a good website.

 

My friend who introduced us lives here and he is also Chinese and so is his girlfriend. I don't mind hanging around him a little but not to much.

 

She does bring me alot of food and worrys greatly if I will like her cooking when she comes here. I have been spendind alot of time and money getting everything ready here. When I call her she is very busy going out to eat with family and friends. Freinds that she hasn't talked to in years have come out of the wood work and took her out to eat or she took them out to eat.

 

The other day I told her about some stuff I purchased to make her life her more enjoyable and she was very moved by it. She asks me if my house has ghosts. I told her there was no such thing but I don't think she believe's me. The day after she gets here she wants to visit my mothers grave. I told her we could go in May for memorial day but she insisted on doing it the day after she gets here.

 

I guess I have alot to learn. To bad there is no Chinese wife for dummies book.

 

Thanks again.

Need to relax! I initially sometimes found myself a little disappointed because "I" thought Limei's reactions weren't as I anticipated. What I have found is her ACTIONS speak much louder. Even now Limei is in China visiting family for CNY and to have our baby meet her relatives. Some days I am a little lonely and call her and find she appears more excited about going somewhere with her parents. It would be easy to find disappointment but I know this is an important time for her. You will learn that displays and verbalization of feelings from a Chinese is more reserved. Limei"s parents have never hugged her or told her they love her. At first this amazed me but I assure you their love is intense and sincere. Relax and allow her to say goodbye to her friends and family. When she comes home with you, it will be you in the spotlight.

[Guest jin979]

OMG soo cold, I see a move in your future

Yes Damn COLD.

 

http://www.wunderground.com/history/airpor...hlyHistory.html

 

Lowest -15 for this month overall average 8 degrees.

 

Last month it hit -33F there.

 

http://weathersticker.wunderground.com/weathersticker/bigwx_cond/language/www/US/ND/Bismarck.gif

I'm going to get a portable heater for next year so she can take it room to room. I think I would go broke if I had to keep my house 80 degrees' all year long.

 

 

 

[warpedbored]

My first marriage I lived in a small city in Idaho. My ex who is from Japan, had spent quite a bit of time in Idaho and thought she could handle it. The reality however was quite different from what she expected. She was miserable there. There was no Asian market closer than 50 miles and it was very small. People stared at her like something in a zoo. I ended up packing and moving to Oregon to save the marriage.

 

Your wife may think everything will be fine as long as you're together now but the reality of living in a cold climate without things she is familiar with may be a problem. She's giving up her family, friends and homeland to be with you. How much are you willing to sacrifice to keep your marriage intact for her? If she is totally miserable there are you willing to move to another city for her?

[ShaQuaNew]

Three things

 

1. you told her to stay for CNY

 

2. you told her she will not be able to visit her family again for 5 years

 

3. you seem to need training

 

You picked that up too? I thought American men learned to avoid "telling" their wives to do anything years ago.

[3timescharm]

OMG soo cold, I see a move in your future

I agree, and this is something that you should think about. She moved half way around the world to be with you so if she does not like it there because of cold, you should be willing to move somewhere more appealing to her.

[dnoblett]

My first marriage I lived in a small city in Idaho. My ex who is from Japan, had spent quite a bit of time in Idaho and thought she could handle it. The reality however was quite different from what she expected. She was miserable there. There was no Asian market closer than 50 miles and it was very small. People stared at her like something in a zoo. I ended up packing and moving to Oregon to save the marriage.

 

Your wife may think everything will be fine as long as you're together now but the reality of living in a cold climate without things she is familiar with may be a problem. She's giving up her family, friends and homeland to be with you. How much are you willing to sacrifice to keep your marriage intact for her? If she is totally miserable there are you willing to move to another city for her?

I am glad we have several Asian Groceries near home, and a very large China town about a three hour drive from here.

 

This makes up for the cold winters.

[david_dawei]

it might be 5 years before she goes back again.

 

it will be hard to compete with. I am a little worried she will miss them so much she will decide she likes it better back there.

you'll have to figure out how to resolve this dilemma your setting yourself up for. Part of it may be over-thinking it all; but some of your concerns are valid and should motivate you to think what her needs are and will be. The solutions come with time together.

[chengdu4me]

Personally, I would let her stay in VN until as late as possible. Let her know she can hang out with her family right up until the last possible time to come before her visa expires. This makes sense from a couple of different perspectives....

 

Why?

 

From a life in VN to Bismarck in winter time? Are you nuts? At least if she waited until late spring, she would have time to get used to the change in climate over the summer and then autumn, and then finally a winter in the frozen north hinterlands.

 

She is leaving for a long time. By your own words, 3 - 5 years. Basically, in her families mind, she is leaving forever. Let them have their time together.

 

And one other point to consider.Her family is now YOUR family, too. There is no competition factor to consider.

 

Good luck! I don't know what you do for a living, but you may want to consider doing it in a bit warmer place for her sake(and yours).

[Randy W]

I worked for a company which had contracted a project with 2 companies - one in Calgary, Alberta, the other in Bangkok, Thailand. A customer made the plane trip once, getting on the plane at 110F, and getting off at -10F. I can't begin to imagine how people dress for that trip.

[Smitty]

It's been mentioned, but I'll put it another way.

 

Don't act like a chick. If you say something, mean it! If you say she can stay, then mean that she can stay. Don't make it something where she has to figure out what you really mean and try to guess what you really want.

 

As for the weather, I think of it like this - a friend of mine joined the army. He was stationed in Germany. It gets cold in Germany. Well, he tells me about this one dude who started having problems. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Turns out he was from the Caribbean, and had never been cold! I think you may tell your wife how cold it is, but she won't have any iDea of how cold it really is until she experiences it first hand.

[a2784]

Three things

 

1. you told her to stay for CNY

 

2. you told her she will not be able to visit her family again for 5 years

 

3. you seem to need training

can't add anything to this; can only agree. I also moved from warm weather in USA to cold weather/big city (first time for both for me) in China. I did not like it and could only survive cold weather because my wife's family is in south china so I get to take some breaks from the winter and see family (two birds with one stone). I still can not get used to the big city.

 

I can imagine your wife will have a hard time to adjust to such a big change in weather and population density. You will have to be patience and understanding with her plus compromise (like moving if she really cannot adjust).

[Bryon_Tran]

My first marriage I lived in a small city in Idaho. My ex who is from Japan, had spent quite a bit of time in Idaho and thought she could handle it. The reality however was quite different from what she expected. She was miserable there. There was no Asian market closer than 50 miles and it was very small. People stared at her like something in a zoo. I ended up packing and moving to Oregon to save the marriage.

 

Your wife may think everything will be fine as long as you're together now but the reality of living in a cold climate without things she is familiar with may be a problem. She's giving up her family, friends and homeland to be with you. How much are you willing to sacrifice to keep your marriage intact for her? If she is totally miserable there are you willing to move to another city for her?

I took her to the ICE Palace in a park in Vietnam where it was made of ice and cold she didn't even complain. I wasnt' wearing a coat and her coat was unzipped. I told her it was even colder than this in North Dakota.

 

She knows I don't want to move because my family is here and she wants to be close to my family also. My house is warm so she will have a chance to get acclimated to the cold weather.

 

I have a decent goverment job now and if we move there is a chance I will not be able to find work in another city. Also the house is only half paid for and I don't think I could sell it even thought the recesion still has not hit here.

[RobertH]

Lol I kinda have a weather problem to, but mine is the other way. I live in Mesa and our summers are HOT 112+ is common June-Sept. I told Hui and she said she will just not go outside for 4 months lol....