WILL THIS EVER END?

[Reddragon75]

Well....received an Intent to Deny Petiton notice from USCIS!

 

As some of you know, I am a convicted Felon. It is something that I have been trying to avoid disclosing to everyone here....but now I think it is time to do so. I served 2 years in a state correctional facility for a sex offense. I know some of you may cringe when you hear this, but all that I ask is you try your best not to judge me. I still choose not to disclose details, but I will say that it was not rape or a violent offense. I wish it never would have happened.....but it did, and I can never take back what I did. I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. My friends and family forgave me long ago, but I was not able to forgive myself until recently. I have done my best to make amends for my crime, and to better myself. I dated many women here over the past few years, but as soon as I told them about my past they assumed I was some sick weirdo and rejected me. I thought I would never find anyone that could see through the cloud of the bad thing I had done, and see me for who I truly was. Then.....I finally found Xiaorong. I told her of my past when our relationship first started because I felt she needed to know. She was upset when I told her, and I was worried about losing her, but it would not be right to keep it from her. We talked about it, and I told her everything. She told me that she knew in her heart that I am a good person that just did a bad thing. She said that the "past does not matter.....the only important thing is the future, and what I decide to do with my life to make things better."

 

I, of course, I am going to provide as much documentation as I possibly can to the USCIS. They may still deny the petition, but WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP!! It is sad that I may be forced to do so, but if I have to I will leave the country that I love, so that I may be with the woman who is my world.

 

I am sorry to have written such a long post, but I had to get this off my chest. Just know that I did not write this to invoke pity from anyone, I just wrote it to express my feelings, and to tell all about my past so that I may hopefully be able to help someone in a similar situation in the near or distant future.

[HKG]

Your background aside, you are doing better than most of us in this Visa process, your timeline is short when compared to others and USICS sent you an NOID, with the reason and a chance to respond.

[LeeFisher3]

You've been given a difficult task to prove this to the USCIS as they have the evidence of the past in hand. You know you need to provide a statement from you but you will also need supporting evidence from people who have known you and know of your past.

 

I would suggest including a statement from Xiao Rong as part of your evidence. The USCIS is concerned over her safety as part of IMBRA, and it is important that her voice be heard in this case in support of you.

 

Have her tell that you informed her of your past early in your relationship and that you were not proud of this, but shared this information with her freely. In this letter she should state that "she knew in her heart that I am a good person that just did a bad thing. She said that the "past does not matter.....the only important thing is the future, and what I decide to do with my life to make things better." Unless she is fluent in English she should write this in Chinese and have it translated at the notary office.

 

Often I recommend keeping things simple, but in this case you want to provide them a large number of testimonials from people in your community provide statements speaking to your character and how this was a one time mistake of youth. Statements from family are important as well, but they do not carry as much weight as others.

 

If there is someone who was involved from the prosecution or rehabilitation phase of this situation who would provide a written statement for you this would be really helpful.

 

These statements and testimonials should be in the form of an affidavit where the person provides their name, address, number of years they have known you, a description of how they have interacted with you over this period of time and a statement that they believe you do not pose a threat to the safety of your fianc¨¦e. These should be notarized.

 

Remember, there is a time limit on providing this evidence to the USCIS, be sure to get this sent at least a week before the deadline and sent it requiring delivery confirmation.

 

Also, be sure to keep a copy of EVERYTHING, if you are able to succeed your fianc¨¦e will want to have a copy of the entire file with her at the interview in the event GUZ brings it up again, even though they are not supposed to do this except to verify she is aware of the circumstances.

 

Good luck

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

...You know you need to provide a statement from you but you will also need supporting evidence from people who have known you and know of your past.

 

I would suggest including a statement from Xiao Rong as part of your evidence. The USCIS is concerned over her safety as part of IMBRA, and it is important that her voice be heard in this case in support of you.

 

Have her tell that you informed her of your past early in your relationship and that you were not proud of this, but shared this information with her freely.....

 

 

 

Often I recommend keeping things simple, but in this case you want to provide them a large number of testimonials from people in your community provide statements speaking to your character and how this was a one time mistake of youth. Statements from family are important as well, but they do not carry as much weight as others.

 

Lee has provided you with very good advice. It's a difficult challenge to overcome any mis-deeds in our pasts; for example, things as simple as a late paid or missed bill can follow you for years. While we may forget and want to move on, the system makes it difficult to do so. Still, by taking steps to amass as many testimonials from people that have known you both before and after, and can provide a positive character reference, can only serve you well.

 

Do you still have your passport? Have you considered moving?

[georgeandli]

Reddragon75, For some reason when I was talking to my mom today I thought of you. She said something about the "poor" congressman who lost his reelection because of the Shandra Levy death. How long does one have to pay penance? You might have to go there and do the tsap deal for a while. Assuming of course you're up to it. By the way, I'm more in your corner than the other guy.

[chengdu4me]

This can be overcome. Others have given good advice on this matter. I don't have any advice to give. I will tell you that there is a man working where I work that is a Registered Sex Offender and he met a woman from Thailand and brought her and her 10 y/o daughter here. I'm sure Bangkok is different than GUZ, just like night is different than day. But if he can do it, so can you.

[NewDay2006]

I wish you luck in your situation. You are in a difficult postion. It is not my place to judge any man. Evidently you paid your debt to society. Hang in there.

Edited February 25, 2009 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[BigPanda]

Hi Reddragon75 and fiancee,

I am new here. Just found the site today and was looking around. As soon as I saw "..will my punishment never end..", my heart sank and I knew I was about to read about a sex offender being denied his or her petition. That's exactly what I found when I read your post. I am also a registered sex offender in the state of California. I served a longer prison sentence than you for an offense involving a teen girl in 1997. I met my fiancee online in 2005 and also told her right away about my offense, parole, everything. No secrets. Like you, my case was not rape, and was "consensual", but the law does not recognize the consent of a minor (under age 18) in California. I have had daily communication with my fiancee since May 2005, and when I got off parole in April 2007, I went to China to meet her and her family in June. I got back, started the petition only to find out about IMBRA, and through my (now) attorney, the Adam Walsh Act. Our petition is in, and I went for biometrics Feb 17th. Needless to say, we were devastated to find out about ADA, but I have come to conclusion that it is a good, and well - meaning, law. It does sometimes feel like I am still being punished, but I found a memo from the USCIS online concerning "determining risk to the beneficiary" and have received a letter from the parole office treatment psychiatrist stating I am a very low risk to reoffend. My friends, family member, HR person at my work, have all either written or will write a 'character reference' letter for me. My fiancee has never married and does not have children. I have tried many times to find out how many sex offenders are being denied with no luck at all - too new, the lawyers say, and not open for review. This 'not knowing' is so hard on my fiancee and I. Sorry for this long reply, but, like I said, 1st time here, and reading this is really scary. All I can suggest is to find that memo online, and try to get some of the items there together that proves you pose no risk to your fiancee. Good luck to you and God bless. You are not alone.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

....Sorry for this long reply, but, like I said, 1st time here, and reading this is really scary. All I can suggest is to find that memo online, and try to get some of the items there together that proves you pose no risk to your fiancee. Good luck to you and God bless. You are not alone.

 

Hello Panda, and welcome to CFL. It really sounds like you've emerged from a very challenging past and unfortunate situation. Because laws dealing with sex offense are sometimes deservedly sensitive, in other cases peoples lives get ruined, as I would deem your most unfortunate circumstance. There are far too many cases where a young man over the age of 18, had consensual sex with a woman just under the age of 18. Any over-zealous prosecutor that gets their hands on such a case, can ruin a young man's life, regardless whether he's convicted or not. Still, it sounds like you've a good attitude about it, though you'll be shackled to it for the rest of your life.

 

Good luck, and welcome ...

Edited February 27, 2009 by ShaQuaNew (see edit history)