Son's Career Opportunities

[Richard & Li]

Our son had a guaranteed job on the railroads in China. Both his grandfathers worked all their lives for the railroad. His father died while working for the railroad (illness, not accident). Now, he has three uncles working for the railroad.

 

I was willing to pay for his training to be an engineer. I think that's a good job in America. It probably is in China too.

 

I am not certain that bringing him to America at 20 years old with absolutely no English (he didn't know more than "hello" when he arrived) when he had a career lined up in China was a good idea.

 

The news that China will invest $22,000,000,000 in the railroad infrastructure, along with the current economy in America makes my uncertainty even greater.

 

I would be very interested in reading some opinions about this, especially from some of our Chinese members.

[IllinoisDave]

From a purely economic standpoint my first response would be absolutely stay in China given the commitment to their rail system and our relative lack thereof. Obviously both country's economies are in for huge downturns. But at least in this particular area, China seems to have a brighter future for those employed in it.

 

The real question though is how does Li feel about it? Does the maternal instinct to have a child close outweigh any possible economic advantages?

[Richard & Li]

I think at 20 years old, he is quite capable of making his own career choices...perhaps with some guidance...but...still it's up to him....you falied to mention how he feels about this..does he want to return to China and work on the railroad? Does he want to continue his education here? What does he want?

 

Hindsight is not always a wonderful thing...don't second guess yourself...

 

Well, in this case that may not really be true. It seems like what he wants is to play video games over the internet with his friends in China all night and sleep all day.

 

He wants to 'make money'. But, as yet, I see no realistic plan in his mind for doing that.

 

What I want is for him to study & study hard. I'd gladly pay for his education if he wanted it. BTW: He is a smart kid, there's no question of ability.

[Richard & Li]

From a purely economic standpoint my first response would be absolutely stay in China given the commitment to their rail system and our relative lack thereof. Obviously both country's economies are in for huge downturns. But at least in this particular area, China seems to have a brighter future for those employed in it.

 

The real question though is how does Li feel about it? Does the maternal instinct to have a child close outweigh any possible economic advantages?

 

As usual Dave, you've hit the nail on the head.

 

The primary reason he's here was Li not wanting to 'let go'. He resisted coming (his girlfriend and all his buddies are there). Most of Li's family thought he would be better off in China (and guaranteed that he would be well taken care of). I thought the best career choice for him was Railroad Engineer's School in China. But, Mama wins.

[Urkidding]

I respect the fact that you want your son to have a good education and better life, however read on.

 

I also respect your son¡¯s decision to make his own decision. At 20, he may or may not know how to make his own decisions. Only you and his mother knows whether he is mature enough to make that decision.

 

We also know that people who live in China sometimes inherit a position from a father or mother. Even though the old school of training and thought is disappearing, there are still some that are in place. My brother-in-law¡¯s father was the Chief of Police of a large province and his relatives were guaranteed a position in the police force whether they deserved it or not. So having 3 generations of family in that industry has some pull.

 

Now, does he want to continue this tradition or move on to something new ¨C like America? We all know life is a gamble. Want does he want?

 

It¡¯s almost like trying to teach your kid how to swim. If he wants to learn, then he will learn how to swim. If he refuses, then he will most likely sink and fail.

 

Let him tell you what he wants then give him your blessing. All parents want to see their kid succeed, however you can only do so much. All you need to do is catch him if he falls.

[Don]

Another thing to consider is the competition in China for the good schools.

 

 

 

In the US much easier to get into a good school than in China, even with his English skills. He can do a local two school while he improves his english and than transfer to the 4 year school. He can do his BS in the US at a decent school and than go back to China. Jiaotong and other very good Chinese schools really want US students to come over and do a Masters or one year of study during BS. He can get Jiaotong on his resume while being a US student. That will really help him in China. Even if only one year for exchange program. That might really help him back in China and he might not be able to do that from China but can from the US.

[georgeandli]

Back in the day[early 70's] I wasn't able to get into the sparky union. Connections are where its at. Ask the boy what he thinks/wants. Then tell him how we roll in the States.

[david_dawei]

I think it is mom and son's decision.

 

Because some chinese don't have a problem with the concept of waiting a long time for something... he would certainly be able to stay in china for a number of years to wait out a later filing for him to come later in life.

[Richard & Li]

Thanks for all the insight.

 

I am certainly supportive of anything that will lead to success and happiness for my wife & son. However, the differences in his opportunities in America and China are confusing me.

 

I know at least one way to success in America: Education. That is very much available to him if he chooses it.

 

There are so many people in America who are (or will be) having financial problems and have not been able to get an education: Going for opportunities that don't require advanced education or a skilled trade is going to be a tough road for anybody in America for the foreseeable future.

 

Our son has neither education beyond high school, nor any job skills, nor fundamental English. He seems to have no motivation or drive toward attaining any of the above. It seems like he lives for Chinese internet games and chat. Outside of that, I see signs of depression. I am worried.

 

I am going to China in 6 months for my job. I'm seriously wondering if the best thing for him would be for me to take him back to his hometown. (If, of course, Li would agree with me.)

[Sebastian]

Here's a monkey wrench.

 

Call a Army Recruiter, see if they'll take him on a 2 year stint as a groundpounder. I'm not being silly, either.. I think they'll take him immediately after he has his green card, but - after he does a 2 year stint? he's eligible for US Citizenship (new regs, Your Recruiter will know them).

Edited December 9, 2008 by Darnell (see edit history)

[Richard & Li]

From my understanding: I'll need to register him for selective service when he gets the green card.

 

Here's a monkey wrench to add to yours: He's already served two years in the Chinese army.

 

What that will do to his eligibility to serve in the US armed forces is unknown (to me).

[Sebastian]

OK - you win - yer Monkey Wrench is bigger than mine.

 

There's lots of other options available to him, here in the usa. Maybe have him sit down with a high school guidance counselor, to start, and see where that goes.

 

FWIW, if he wants to work on the Railroad in the USA, he'll need to apply for that gig.

[MarkHui]

Richard this is just a personal observation so take it for what it is worth. I work with a railroad almost daily (bulk freight not passenger) despite my best efforts to be kind they are some unhappy folks. Service at best is unreliable, they struggle to extract more money over trivial issues. From the yard master to the men on the ground I have only met two old men that where happy and near retirement that were coasting out their final days.

 

Before some start to jump on me here I have had and still have family employed by railroads. It ain't what it used to be for the men on the ground. Just a side note here, I know one man that left the railroad for a job at a nice landfill. Just so you know.

[Richard & Li]

I assume you are talking about the American railroad.

 

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

I guess it's that from the outside it seems like is would be a good occupation. Especially being an engineer. Yes, I was a 'model train kid'. (No, I'm not a 'model train adult'.)

 

I'm wondering if the railroad is a good career in China.

 

I hope when we get the EADs, SSNs and then his driver's license, he will become more active, maybe get involved in some activities, make friends here, and attend school regularly.

[Smitty]

Unless it has changed in the last few years, Darnell is wrong about the Army.

 

It's an eight year enlistment, with the first two years active(with ground pounding - some others, like rolling, are a four year minimum), and the rest left up the service member. Whether it's active or not active, the service member still is in the Army.

 

Richard, I'm sure you have already discussed it with Li, but I think at twenty the son really needs to figure out for himself whether he wants the sure thing in China or the risk in the US.

 

With railroading in the US, there is certainly good money to be made, but getting in, I think has more to do with connections. Also there is a through background check and investigation.

 

As for gaming with his buddies all night and sleeping all day - If you were twenty and separated from all that you loved and knew, wouldn't that be what you would do? To get him to quit goofing around and get working? I don't know. Each person is their own person, and what might work on some, might not work on others. I'm sure it will have to be a consensus with Li, with whatever you do.

 

Is he still with the girlfriend in China? Perhaps showing him that the fruits of his labors can make for a great life for them together, but without his labors he will be nothing.

 

If Li is as possessive of her son as it seems, then she needs to be able to let him go and live his life.

 

Best of luck with this!