GENERAL Observation on Chinese women¡­

[Shenzhen K-1]

When I post general observations of Chinese women here, I am not so much comparing Chinese to American women as identifying similar traits that I see among them.

 

Sure, can't put anyone in a nice tidy box and stick a label on it (them). To another American I will usually just say there's little difference and that women are women... However, here among my Sinophile brethren, it IS fun to identify those differences and traits. To ignore them and pretend there aren't any is, well, it can be a bit like burying your head in the sand.

 

OK, here's another observation...

Chinese women hugging and holding each other. I (we) see it all the time. We see it at every CFL gathering. I see it on every outing we go on and there is a large group of Chinese women along.

 

I have a theory...

Chinese parents GENERALLY do not give much affection to their children. The parents never received affection (especially western style affection) from their mother and fathers. This lack of affection is a passed down trait.

 

Now, children being children of course crave and love to get affection. So, they seek it from other children.

 

As they grow to adulthood, the affection continues to be displayed, especially among women; however, you can also see it displayed among men too in China. But, dang I sure do love to see those women arm in arm... http://i27.tinypic.com/1zo9b3k.jpg

 

Great pics Dennis, but your thoughts on hugging well maybe??

 

Before my first trip to China I did quite a bit of research and got a manual of Chinese customs from our local chain book store!

 

1. Big time warning about the toilets, thank you!

2. Talked about smokng in public places.

3. Taking and giving gifts and that they will be refused two-three times!

4. Big section talking about how most women in China hold hands and it was very accepted and did not mean they were gay! I saw this everywhere and thought it was very enjoyable to see. My feng and daughter hold hands often, great thing, not stuffy like here!

 

The OP about the switch really hit home, good stuff!!

[A Mafan]

I hope Tim can interprete this for us: ¼Þºº¼Þºº, ´©Ò³Է¹. People from northeast China like to say that.

?? Han Han married married, and dress for dinner!

Marry a true man (hero?), and have clothes to wear and food to eat.

[Dennis143]

 

4. Big section talking about how most women in China hold hands and it was very accepted and did not mean they were gay!

They're not?

[Shenzhen K-1]

I hope Tim can interprete this for us: ¼Þºº¼Þºº, ´©Ò³Է¹. People from northeast China like to say that.

?? Han Han married married, and dress for dinner!

Marry a true man (hero?), and have clothes to wear and food to eat.

 

Xie xie................... B)

[Joanne]

I have a theory...

Chinese parents GENERALLY do not give much affection to their children. The parents never received affection (especially western style affection) from their mother and fathers. This lack of affection is a passed down trait.

 

Now, children being children of course crave and love to get affection. So, they seek it from other children.

 

As they grow to adulthood, the affection continues to be displayed, especially among women; however, you can also see it displayed among men too in China. But, dang I sure do love to see those women arm in arm...

 

Never thought of this myself, but I think it makes sense.

[Corbin]

I have a theory...

Chinese parents GENERALLY do not give much affection to their children. The parents never received affection (especially western style affection) from their mother and fathers. This lack of affection is a passed down trait.

 

Now, children being children of course crave and love to get affection. So, they seek it from other children.

 

As they grow to adulthood, the affection continues to be displayed, especially among women; however, you can also see it displayed among men too in China. But, dang I sure do love to see those women arm in arm...

 

Never thought of this myself, but I think it makes sense.

Yes it does and if they don't get it at home then they will look for it from friends and others. This is kind of like when a German woman gives you a kiss after first meeting, it doesn't mean anything, just a way to greet someone.

[Aussie in love]

I reminded Jane of ¼Þºº¼Þºº, ´©Ò³Է¹.

 

Her reply, "aiya, no wife, no life".

[timb]

That's sounds promising. I hope that the relationship would grow into much more. I am not sure I could completely happy with MJ if the relationship did not get past the practical part.

 

 

Practical is a very common theme through this thread Tim. But as many have posted and shared once the practical part is over, welcome to the "good" part!! Just remember not to do something to have her go back to the first part!!

[david_dawei]

When I post general observations of Chinese women here, I am not so much comparing Chinese to American women as identifying similar traits that I see among them.

 

Sure, can't put anyone in a nice tidy box and stick a label on it (them). To another American I will usually just say there's little difference and that women are women... However, here among my Sinophile brethren, it IS fun to identify those differences and traits. To ignore them and pretend there aren't any is, well, it can be a bit like burying your head in the sand.

 

OK, here's another observation...

Chinese women hugging and holding each other. I (we) see it all the time. We see it at every CFL gathering. I see it on every outing we go on and there is a large group of Chinese women along.

 

I have a theory...

Chinese parents GENERALLY do not give much affection to their children. The parents never received affection (especially western style affection) from their mother and fathers. This lack of affection is a passed down trait.

 

Now, children being children of course crave and love to get affection. So, they seek it from other children.

 

As they grow to adulthood, the affection continues to be displayed, especially among women; however, you can also see it displayed among men too in China. But, dang I sure do love to see those women arm in arm...

I think that holding hands is not uncommon for most children of any culture, and even older... what I do find interesting is the seemingly persistence and importance of the practice, which may be what sets the chinese culture more apart.

 

Of historical importance is the Confucian five relationships:

1. Ruler and Subject

2. Father and Son

3. Elder brother and younger brother

4. Husband and Wife

5. Friend and friend

 

This last one carries the ideals of being faithful and tactful; ¡°Make it your guiding principle to do your best for others and to be trustworthy in what you say. Do not accept as friend anyone who is not as good as you. When you make a mistake do not be afraid of mending your ways.¡±

 

The other angle I see is that from their beginning, a child is taught they are 'brother and sister' to all children around them; and even slightly older ones may be expected to watch over the younger ones; I recall once hearing a father instruct their 9 year old daughter to 'help sister', who was a 7 year old friend... and children will help one another by guiding them (holding their hand).

 

I think this feeling of 'sisterhood' and their strong humanistic focus on living things impresses on one as they grow up to be affection-like towards their 'sister'... and I would agree that this fills a void; (balances) the affection-as-less which may occur between parents and children.

[rogerluli]

When I post general observations of Chinese women here, I am not so much comparing Chinese to American women as identifying similar traits that I see among them.

 

Sure, can't put anyone in a nice tidy box and stick a label on it (them). To another American I will usually just say there's little difference and that women are women... However, here among my Sinophile brethren, it IS fun to identify those differences and traits. To ignore them and pretend there aren't any is, well, it can be a bit like burying your head in the sand.

 

OK, here's another observation...

Chinese women hugging and holding each other. I (we) see it all the time. We see it at every CFL gathering. I see it on every outing we go on and there is a large group of Chinese women along.

 

I have a theory...

Chinese parents GENERALLY do not give much affection to their children. The parents never received affection (especially western style affection) from their mother and fathers. This lack of affection is a passed down trait.

 

Now, children being children of course crave and love to get affection. So, they seek it from other children.

 

As they grow to adulthood, the affection continues to be displayed, especially among women; however, you can also see it displayed among men too in China. But, dang I sure do love to see those women arm in arm...

I think that holding hands is not uncommon for most children of any culture, and even older... what I do find interesting is the seemingly persistence and importance of the practice, which may be what sets the chinese culture more apart.

 

Of historical importance is the Confucian five relationships:

1. Ruler and Subject

2. Father and Son

3. Elder brother and younger brother

4. Husband and Wife

5. Friend and friend

 

This last one carries the ideals of being faithful and tactful; ¡°Make it your guiding principle to do your best for others and to be trustworthy in what you say. Do not accept as friend anyone who is not as good as you. When you make a mistake do not be afraid of mending your ways.¡±

 

The other angle I see is that from their beginning, a child is taught they are 'brother and sister' to all children around them; and even slightly older ones may be expected to watch over the younger ones; I recall once hearing a father instruct their 9 year old daughter to 'help sister', who was a 7 year old friend... and children will help one another by guiding them (holding their hand).

 

I think this feeling of 'sisterhood' and their strong humanistic focus on living things impresses on one as they grow up to be affection-like towards their 'sister'... and I would agree that this fills a void; (balances) the affection-as-less which may occur between parents and children.

 

I have this feeling that Han Chinese are like one great insect colony where every member is most importantly part of this whole before they are an individual...Will the realities of being a part of the world marketplace and the one child policy change this over time???

[Corbin]

When I post general observations of Chinese women here, I am not so much comparing Chinese to American women as identifying similar traits that I see among them.

 

Sure, can't put anyone in a nice tidy box and stick a label on it (them). To another American I will usually just say there's little difference and that women are women... However, here among my Sinophile brethren, it IS fun to identify those differences and traits. To ignore them and pretend there aren't any is, well, it can be a bit like burying your head in the sand.

 

OK, here's another observation...

Chinese women hugging and holding each other. I (we) see it all the time. We see it at every CFL gathering. I see it on every outing we go on and there is a large group of Chinese women along.

 

I have a theory...

Chinese parents GENERALLY do not give much affection to their children. The parents never received affection (especially western style affection) from their mother and fathers. This lack of affection is a passed down trait.

 

Now, children being children of course crave and love to get affection. So, they seek it from other children.

 

As they grow to adulthood, the affection continues to be displayed, especially among women; however, you can also see it displayed among men too in China. But, dang I sure do love to see those women arm in arm...

I think that holding hands is not uncommon for most children of any culture, and even older... what I do find interesting is the seemingly persistence and importance of the practice, which may be what sets the chinese culture more apart.

 

Of historical importance is the Confucian five relationships:

1. Ruler and Subject

2. Father and Son

3. Elder brother and younger brother

4. Husband and Wife

5. Friend and friend

 

This last one carries the ideals of being faithful and tactful; ¡°Make it your guiding principle to do your best for others and to be trustworthy in what you say. Do not accept as friend anyone who is not as good as you. When you make a mistake do not be afraid of mending your ways.¡±

 

The other angle I see is that from their beginning, a child is taught they are 'brother and sister' to all children around them; and even slightly older ones may be expected to watch over the younger ones; I recall once hearing a father instruct their 9 year old daughter to 'help sister', who was a 7 year old friend... and children will help one another by guiding them (holding their hand).

 

I think this feeling of 'sisterhood' and their strong humanistic focus on living things impresses on one as they grow up to be affection-like towards their 'sister'... and I would agree that this fills a void; (balances) the affection-as-less which may occur between parents and children.

 

I have this feeling that Han Chinese are like one great insect colony where every member is most importantly part of this whole before they are an individual...Will the realities of being a part of the world marketplace and the one child policy change this over time???

It is bond to have some effect on them. As already seen there are many that have not learn the sharing that was needed when there was more than one child.

[SmilingAsia]

When two Chinese women are hand in hand or arm in arm, it only means they were born and raised in mainland China.

 

When two Chinese men put their arms across each other's shoulders, it also means they were born and raised in mainland China.

A Chinese man will never kiss another man like they did in Backbroke Mountain unless you pay him good money cuz he needs the money to purchase another woman of his grand children's age.

[Shenzhen K-1]

When two Chinese women are hand in hand or arm in arm, it only means they were born and raised in mainland China.

 

When two Chinese men put their arms across each other's shoulders, it also means they were born and raised in mainland China.

A Chinese man will never kiss another man like they did in Backbroke Mountain unless you pay him good money cuz he needs the money to purchase another woman of his grand children's age.

 

[hopelives]

When two Chinese women are hand in hand or arm in arm, it only means they were born and raised in mainland China.

 

When two Chinese men put their arms across each other's shoulders, it also means they were born and raised in mainland China.

A Chinese man will never kiss another man like they did in Backbroke Mountain unless you pay him good money cuz he needs the money to purchase another woman of his grand children's age.

 

Cynical but very funny

 

Great stuff

 

jim

[C4Racer]

The one stereotype I will grant you Dennis is that Chinese people in general are more pragmatic than their American counter parts. My wife also makes decisions rapidly in calm and calculated manner. I think that's more coincidence than a Chinese trait in general. Sometimes I think we try too hard to put all Chinese women into a neat and tidy box. Truth is they are just people like everyone else. For instance, to hear it told here on CFL all Chinese women are neat freaks who keep immaculately clean houses. Not so in my home. I'm as likely to clean house as she is and neither one of us do it as often as we should.

 

I have to agree with Carl on this. There just is not as much difference between American and Chinese counterparts as we would like to think.

 

The reason is simple, we are comparing apples to oranges. Culture is based on economics as much as it is based on anything else. We are comparing a young partially capitalistic system to an old entrenched system where people are more comfortable with their finances.

 

The big difference is people in America are very at ease living off tomorrow's money. We have no problem racking up debt through mortgages, loans and credit cards. We are very comfortable with where they are at in life financially. We have a very good idea what tomorrow might bring and plan accordingly. People in China are still living from paycheck to paycheck. They distrust any credit type system and only know that what they have today is what they have. They do not know what tomorrow brings and understand they just can not plan.

 

You talk about couples living in separate cities and state this is a cultural thing. I beg to differ. Many American families have lived in separate cities to work. They sent their children off to live with grandparents or aunts/uncles. While the parents traveled for work due to need. The time when all this happened was known to America as the Great Depression.

 

Now look at China. Their Great Depression lasted longer then ours and was forced upon them by their government. They are only something like ten years out of this period and many in China still do not share in the wealth that capitalism has brought. Give China another 50 to 100 years and I think you will find the people will live and think closer to their western counterparts than you could ever imagine.

Edited March 4, 2008 by C4Racer (see edit history)