Chinese/English Language Problems

[Cerberus]

CFL forum,

 

I would really appreciate some advice on a specific point and question that I have.

 

Yin and myself have known each other going on 4 years plus. We have been married for three years. Communications has never been a problem between us, (albeit at times trying LOL), with the exception of some of her English wording that I have related in past posts.

 

Yin has only a minimum (about 4 months) of English language tutoring (way back when in China from a Japanese tutor). Her spoken language and the rate that she learns at are phenomenal. I could only wish that my Chinese language skills, could match her abilities.

 

However, she has one annoying habit. She will state something in very clear English and I understand her perfectly the first time. Then she will then proceed to tell me the same thing 3 or 4 times more. I will tell her that I understood her the first time. I asked her about this annoying habit. She related to me that she is afraid that I didn¡¯t understand her. I have seen it also in font of our friends.

 

She is attempting to overcome this habit, with somewhat limited success. Do some of the other Chinese ladies of CFL members have this same problem? I thought perhaps it was a confidence problem or something in that realm. Other members may have already had this same small annoying problem and had success in eliminating it.

 

I just wanted to get some ideas that other members might have. My thanks in advance.

 

Dave

[pha]

Haven't had this problem. Mine speaks pretty fluent English but not after some hard work on both our parts. But, lack of confidence can manifest itself in lots of different ways. The only thing I could suggest is not to be too critical because that can lead to more loss of confidence. It's not that bad of a problem, and better than not saying it right the first time. Maybe you could just repeat the whole thing she said in the first place ala Charlie Brown talking to his teacher.

 

"Wawa...wawawa.....wa.....wawa?"

 

"What ma'am? Did I finish my homework? No, I didn't finish my homework ma'am...."

[LeeFisher3]

I have experienced this as well and the outcome can be interesting at times.

 

There are times when my wife forgets that I am not aware of the context of her thinking so the question doesn't quite make any sense to me. Then in an attempt to be sure I understand the question she speaks louder each time she repeats it, occassionally I remind her that I am an American, not deaf.

 

In our case understanding the context clarifies the question, but communication of the context sometimes requires a bit of conversation.

[iyan46]

My girl speaks pretty good english ..but she is still learning ... she just asks me if i understand when she tells me something. most times i do understand her ... but there are times i have to ask her to repaet it.

 

Thats about it

[david_dawei]

I sometimes get this too...

 

I would respond after the first time with "ming bei le"... (aka: I understand; got it; clear; roger that)

 

I think she's waiting for some confirmation and repeats till she gets it...

[Shenzhen K-1]

CFL forum,

 

I would really appreciate some advice on a specific point and question that I have.

 

Yin and myself have known each other going on 4 years plus. We have been married for three years. Communications has never been a problem between us, (albeit at times trying LOL), with the exception of some of her English wording that I have related in past posts.

 

Yin has only a minimum (about 4 months) of English language tutoring (way back when in China from a Japanese tutor). Her spoken language and the rate that she learns at are phenomenal. I could only wish that my Chinese language skills, could match her abilities.

 

However, she has one annoying habit. She will state something in very clear English and I understand her perfectly the first time. Then she will then proceed to tell me the same thing 3 or 4 times more. I will tell her that I understood her the first time. I asked her about this annoying habit. She related to me that she is afraid that I didn¡¯t understand her. I have seen it also in font of our friends.

 

She is attempting to overcome this habit, with somewhat limited success. Do some of the other Chinese ladies of CFL members have this same problem? I thought perhaps it was a confidence problem or something in that realm. Other members may have already had this same small annoying problem and had success in eliminating it.

 

I just wanted to get some ideas that other members might have. My thanks in advance.

 

Dave

 

Dave my feng's English is getting better, and yes much quicker then my Chinese!!

 

Part of the repeating is female, part of it is Chinese!!

 

When she tells me something it is considered fact, when I tell her something she asks me "how you know"?

 

When she is convinced she is right, a quick "NO" to follow with no discussion at all!!

[Cerberus]

Haven't had this problem. Mine speaks pretty fluent English but not after some hard work on both our parts. But, lack of confidence can manifest itself in lots of different ways. The only thing I could suggest is not to be too critical because that can lead to more loss of confidence. It's not that bad of a problem, and better than not saying it right the first time. Maybe you could just repeat the whole thing she said in the first place ala Charlie Brown talking to his teacher.

 

"Wawa...wawawa.....wa.....wawa?"

 

"What ma'am? Did I finish my homework? No, I didn't finish my homework ma'am...."

Pha, You are absolutely correct. I take great pains to insure that she keeps her confidence. The last thing she needs is an overly critical husband, pardon the expression "helping?" How ever, the gist of our statement is very clear. I think that sometimes it is a confidence issue.

[Cerberus]

I have experienced this as well and the outcome can be interesting at times.

 

There are times when my wife forgets that I am not aware of the context of her thinking so the question doesn't quite make any sense to me. Then in an attempt to be sure I understand the question she speaks louder each time she repeats it, occassionally I remind her that I am an American, not deaf.

 

In our case understanding the context clarifies the question, but communication of the context sometimes requires a bit of conversation.

LOL! Damn! I get this all the time....

 

If I didn't get the message,...

Just turn up the volume!!!!!!! Then I'll understand! Right?

 

Thanks Lee! I've been there and done that! LOL

[Cerberus]

I sometimes get this too...

 

I would respond after the first time with "ming bei le"... (aka: I understand; got it; clear; roger that)

 

I think she's waiting for some confirmation and repeats till she gets it...

David and Mark,

 

I understand what you are saying. Sort of akin to Dr Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus!" or in my case from the galaxy of Andromeda!

 

I suppose that I just need to affirm that I understood what she has said to me! Doesn't mean that I have to like washing the dishes or taking out the trash! Why do I have this sudden sense of impending DOOM!?! Ah well! Into each life some rain must fall!

 

To All I really appreciate the answers. They are exactly the type of advice and answers I was seeking for this small problem.

 

Dave

[Shenzhen K-1]

I sometimes get this too...

 

I would respond after the first time with "ming bei le"... (aka: I understand; got it; clear; roger that)

 

I think she's waiting for some confirmation and repeats till she gets it...

David and Mark,

 

I understand what you are saying. Sort of akin to Dr Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus!" or in my case from the galaxy of Andromeda!

 

I suppose that I just need to affirm that I understood what she has said to me! Doesn't mean that I have to like washing the dishes or taking out the trash! Why do I have this sudden sense of impending DOOM!?! Ah well! Into each life some rain must fall!

 

To All I really appreciate the answers. They are exactly the type of advice and answers I was seeking for this small problem.

 

Dave

 

But language small problems can become "BIG" problems later!! We had a problem earlier this year that started out as a communication problem that soon escalated into a bigger problem. Then the stubborn Chinese women arose and it was crazy for two weeks with many "NO's"!!

[esun41]

My wife just does this to get a rise outta me. She wants me to know she's the boss (even if she isn't, I let her think she is)

[credzba]

 

When she tells me something it is considered fact, when I tell her something she asks me "how you know"?

 

When she is convinced she is right, a quick "NO" to follow with no discussion at all!!

 

This is exactly how my wife is.

If I say something, she doubts me, but if she says something and I ask how she knows, the answer is always "of course, I know", in mandarin of course.

 

I told her she always says "dang ran, wo ming bei", and teased her about it.

Now, when she asks me something, I tell her what I think, if any question comes up I say "dang ran, wo ming bei", and we both laugh.

 

I think she still doubts I could possibly be right, but we laugh anyway.

[Shenzhen K-1]

 

When she tells me something it is considered fact, when I tell her something she asks me "how you know"?

 

When she is convinced she is right, a quick "NO" to follow with no discussion at all!!

 

This is exactly how my wife is.

If I say something, she doubts me, but if she says something and I ask how she knows, the answer is always "of course, I know", in mandarin of course.

 

I told her she always says "dang ran, wo ming bei", and teased her about it.

Now, when she asks me something, I tell her what I think, if any question comes up I say "dang ran, wo ming bei", and we both laugh.

 

I think she still doubts I could possibly be right, but we laugh anyway.

 

 

Why is this post both sad and funny all at the same time???????

 

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5438/4790pk7.jpg

 

Directions: Stop by local store get 1-2 dozen depending upon how much you have screwed up.

Go home quickly, give to the Mrs. and then grovel a lot!!!

[credzba]

 

When she tells me something it is considered fact, when I tell her something she asks me "how you know"?

 

When she is convinced she is right, a quick "NO" to follow with no discussion at all!!

 

This is exactly how my wife is.

If I say something, she doubts me, but if she says something and I ask how she knows, the answer is always "of course, I know", in mandarin of course.

 

I told her she always says "dang ran, wo ming bei", and teased her about it.

Now, when she asks me something, I tell her what I think, if any question comes up I say "dang ran, wo ming bei", and we both laugh.

 

I think she still doubts I could possibly be right, but we laugh anyway.

 

 

Why is this post both sad and funny all at the same time???????

 

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5438/4790pk7.jpg

 

Directions: Stop by local store get 1-2 dozen depending upon how much you have screwed up.

Go home quickly, give to the Mrs. and then grovel a lot!!!

 

 

Only funny Shenzen.

I enjoy making my wife laugh, and we are both so hard headed, our friends say we "deserve each other".

 

We can recognize our own ways are fixed, and neither of us is going to change much. Still we love and enjoy each other just as we are, so its good we are too fixed in our ways to change.

 

Many people tease about the mop-slap from chinese wives, but my wife is never this way. She is hard headed no doubt, but if she even suspects she might hurt me, she is the softest most caring person I could ever dream of.

 

The only mop dis-agreement we have is that she wont let me clean as much as I want. She says "womans work" .. so I have learned to leave that be, but when it comes to carrying things, working on the house etc. .. she can keep me company, but I tell her "mans work" if she tries to do too much.

 

Like all couples I guess, we learn to give each other space when needed, and to tease and play when time is right.

[Shenzhen K-1]

 

When she tells me something it is considered fact, when I tell her something she asks me "how you know"?

 

When she is convinced she is right, a quick "NO" to follow with no discussion at all!!

 

This is exactly how my wife is.

If I say something, she doubts me, but if she says something and I ask how she knows, the answer is always "of course, I know", in mandarin of course.

 

I told her she always says "dang ran, wo ming bei", and teased her about it.

Now, when she asks me something, I tell her what I think, if any question comes up I say "dang ran, wo ming bei", and we both laugh.

 

I think she still doubts I could possibly be right, but we laugh anyway.

 

 

Why is this post both sad and funny all at the same time???????

 

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5438/4790pk7.jpg

 

Directions: Stop by local store get 1-2 dozen depending upon how much you have screwed up.

Go home quickly, give to the Mrs. and then grovel a lot!!!

 

 

Only funny Shenzen.

I enjoy making my wife laugh, and we are both so hard headed, our friends say we "deserve each other".

 

We can recognize our own ways are fixed, and neither of us is going to change much. Still we love and enjoy each other just as we are, so its good we are too fixed in our ways to change.

 

Many people tease about the mop-slap from chinese wives, but my wife is never this way. She is hard headed no doubt, but if she even suspects she might hurt me, she is the softest most caring person I could ever dream of.

 

The only mop dis-agreement we have is that she wont let me clean as much as I want. She says "womans work" .. so I have learned to leave that be, but when it comes to carrying things, working on the house etc. .. she can keep me company, but I tell her "mans work" if she tries to do too much.

 

Like all couples I guess, we learn to give each other space when needed, and to tease and play when time is right.

 

So true, so true, when she has cooked for me before, "man no kitchen" so I watch TV and just relax, tough life. Now the other things for me to do "Oh Marka"!!