Did you have a Chinese Traditional Wedding?

[timb]

Just the straight poop. If you had a traditional wedding in China, and you foot the bill, what was the tally? What did that include?

 

It seems my lady wants to go all out, including gold presents for family. If you would rather not disclose financial details here, PM me please.

 

Tim

[steveandrong]

will not marry in china..she said she has already had a chinese wedding...says she wants an american wedding this time...maybe i should let her see the movie "American Wedding"?...hahahaha...really though, ours will be a mix of both cultures, being held at my home in the back yard

[MikeandRong]

Lots of old threads to read here on that subject¡£

 

You are going to get answers from both side of the extremes, and some in the middle.

 

No right or wrong answers, just what works right for each couple and family.

 

Remember when reading the answers you will get, consider the couples age, status, and location in China, before comparing or judging.

 

Get ready for the cat out of the bag you just opened.

[tonado]

Chinese wedding is cheaper than American wedding. In Chinese wedding depending on different regions in China, normally the groom will pay for it and the gifts to the family. The family usually will give gold to the bride. We had a engagement dinner in China and no wedding here.

 

http://www.chinabridal.com/etiquette/grand.htm

http://www.chinabridal.com/etiquette/dowry.htm

[timb]

Just wanted to be clearly understood. We are not going through the K3 process, we will have the Symbolic wedding for her and family there in China.

 

I know numbers will be all over the place, I just want to get a handle on how hight end of the scale her family is.

 

Her elder brothers wedding was 30,000 yuan 10 years ago. So our number will be higher.

 

Tim

[Cerberus]

Tim,

 

One word can sum it up; Expensive. Yes cheaper in China, but in today¡¯s marketplace what isn¡¯t cheaper than China? I toyed with the idea and then almost fainted when I mentally calculated the costs.

 

Fortunately, my wife was frugal. A simple ceremony at the local government office, followed by a simply civil ceremony and dinner for immediate relatives and friends at a good local hotel. The meal/banquet was the ¡°eight pleasures.¡± This was her choice and the arrangements she thought were appropriate.

 

I believe my total costs including rings, food, etc was around $1,5000. However, this was my family situation not yours. I would suggest talking to fianc¨¦e and see how expensive she wants to go. After all, you are the one going to live with her after the ceremony.

 

Here are some other links for you. I can¡¯t remember where, but I read that another Chinese wedding tradition was for the groom to completely furnish the bride with new apartments and all the amenities (washer, dryer, etc, etc). My thoughts on this traditional was to begin playing the Powerball lottery.

 

http://www.pashweddings.com/content/articl...ding/Page1.html

http://chineseculture.about.com/library/we...sub_wedding.htm

http://www.chcp.org/wedding.html

http://www.chineseweddingsbytheknot.com/ar...id=A60830123748

http://www.chineseweddingsbytheknot.com/ar...id=A60830132851

Edited December 16, 2007 by Cerberus (see edit history)

[heyjimi]

Just wanted to be clearly understood. We are not going through the K3 process, we will have the Symbolic wedding for her and family there in China.

 

I know numbers will be all over the place, I just want to get a handle on how hight end of the scale her family is.

 

Her elder brothers wedding was 30,000 yuan 10 years ago. So our number will be higher.

 

Tim

 

 

We had our wedding in China,a ceremony in a fancy restuarant.it costed me 1000.00 (american dollars).Not too bad. it was a simple wedding.

[thewaitiskillingme]

Tim. Hi.

 

I can't speak yet to the cost of a wedding in China. Like others have stated, I guess it can vary widely. But I can tell you this. I took my new family out for pre-wedding dinner. The dinner was in a very very nice hotel that specializes in duck "service". A "service" is many courses. This was in Shanghai Center. The complete meal, which I paid for, for 12 people, cost me 110.00 USD. In Chicago this would have cost 900.00 for this variety of duck service or roughly 75.00 per person.

 

 

Fei and I also shared several photographers for a day of photos with a wedding couple. The pictures cost me 150.00 USD and the photographers spent 6 hours with us. We had a photo book made and 20 pics touched up and 120 pics total, all digital. This would have cost 2500.00 USD if this was done here.

 

I think what I'm trying to say here is that I think it could be an excellent value to marry in China.

 

I would also suggest that you buy the engagement ring here. I spoke with many jewelers before making this decision, and have no regrets.

 

For what its worth,

 

Marc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just wanted to be clearly understood. We are not going through the K3 process, we will have the Symbolic wedding for her and family there in China.

 

I know numbers will be all over the place, I just want to get a handle on how hight end of the scale her family is.

 

Her elder brothers wedding was 30,000 yuan 10 years ago. So our number will be higher.

 

Tim

 

 

We had our wedding in China,a ceremony in a fancy restuarant.it costed me 1000.00 (american dollars).Not too bad. it was a simple wedding.

[Shenzhen K-1]

Many good ideas and thoughts about a subject I have had been thinking about as well!! My mother-in-law told me I am to come fetch daughter and grand-daughter and we will be married in China before we leave, and then have a family gathering. They can not come to America and they want to make sure I marry her!!

[jim_julian]

Tim ... one way to accomplish this is to have a "wedding banquet". This is what we did after the K-1 was in the passport. You can see some photos of our wedding banquet on our website, under China->Chongqing Wedding Banquet.

 

It was a two meal extravaganza at a nice hotel. We had 150 people for lunch and dinner ... more food than you could imagine. About half the family still lives out in the sticks in small villages so we got a large bus to gather them up. Between lunch and dinner there was a lot of visiting, drinking, dizhu, and ma jiang.

 

The net cost to us was zero. The "red envelopes" more than covered the expense. In one of the pictures you can see our daughter and her cousin logging people in and collecting red envelopes. The local practice included actually making a list, by name, of how much each person gave as a gift. All gifts were money.

 

Local practice differs greatly but my girls think that gold gifts for the family is waaay over the top.

 

We skipped the practice of "wedding photos" in traditional Chinese dress. However, many couples do this.

 

The whole family certainly considered us to be married after this banquet. Our daughter shifted from calling me "uncle" to "dad" at that point. It's a little hard to appreciate this with our western backgrounds but to Lao Po's family this was as solid as being married by the Pope.

 

Are you considering doing this on your first visit? It's a giant step.

[timb]

Jim,

 

Thanks for the input. No, were not doing this first trip. First trip will only to see Man Juan. If we decide we will proceed further, then we will make plans to see her family in Harbin. I think around the April / May timeframe but who knows. lucky dates for us to marry have not been determined yet.

 

Tim

 

Tim ... one way to accomplish this is to have a "wedding banquet". This is what we did after the K-1 was in the passport. You can see some photos of our wedding banquet on our website, under China->Chongqing Wedding Banquet.

 

It was a two meal extravaganza at a nice hotel. We had 150 people for lunch and dinner ... more food than you could imagine. About half the family still lives out in the sticks in small villages so we got a large bus to gather them up. Between lunch and dinner there was a lot of visiting, drinking, dizhu, and ma jiang.

 

The net cost to us was zero. The "red envelopes" more than covered the expense. In one of the pictures you can see our daughter and her cousin logging people in and collecting red envelopes. The local practice included actually making a list, by name, of how much each person gave as a gift. All gifts were money.

 

Local practice differs greatly but my girls think that gold gifts for the family is waaay over the top.

 

We skipped the practice of "wedding photos" in traditional Chinese dress. However, many couples do this.

 

The whole family certainly considered us to be married after this banquet. Our daughter shifted from calling me "uncle" to "dad" at that point. It's a little hard to appreciate this with our western backgrounds but to Lao Po's family this was as solid as being married by the Pope.

 

Are you considering doing this on your first visit? It's a giant step.

[pkfops]

Jim,

 

Thanks for the input. No, were not doing this first trip. First trip will only to see Man Juan. If we decide we will proceed further, then we will make plans to see her family in Harbin. I think around the April / May timeframe but who knows. lucky dates for us to marry have not been determined yet.

 

Tim

 

Tim ... one way to accomplish this is to have a "wedding banquet". This is what we did after the K-1 was in the passport. You can see some photos of our wedding banquet on our website, under China->Chongqing Wedding Banquet.

 

It was a two meal extravaganza at a nice hotel. We had 150 people for lunch and dinner ... more food than you could imagine. About half the family still lives out in the sticks in small villages so we got a large bus to gather them up. Between lunch and dinner there was a lot of visiting, drinking, dizhu, and ma jiang.

 

The net cost to us was zero. The "red envelopes" more than covered the expense. In one of the pictures you can see our daughter and her cousin logging people in and collecting red envelopes. The local practice included actually making a list, by name, of how much each person gave as a gift. All gifts were money.

 

Local practice differs greatly but my girls think that gold gifts for the family is waaay over the top.

 

We skipped the practice of "wedding photos" in traditional Chinese dress. However, many couples do this.

 

The whole family certainly considered us to be married after this banquet. Our daughter shifted from calling me "uncle" to "dad" at that point. It's a little hard to appreciate this with our western backgrounds but to Lao Po's family this was as solid as being married by the Pope.

 

Are you considering doing this on your first visit? It's a giant step.

 

When you go to Harbin you may as well start counting heads and taking note of the better hotels.

 

I think these days, girls like the wedding photos in the white dress.

[griz326]

>>>We are not going through the K3 process, we will have the Symbolic wedding for her and family there in China.

 

Maybe I worry too much...but might that "symbolic" wedding actually be viewed as the real deal - forcing you to switch to a K3?

[jim_julian]

>>>We are not going through the K3 process, we will have the Symbolic wedding for her and family there in China.

 

Maybe I worry too much...but might that "symbolic" wedding actually be viewed as the real deal - forcing you to switch to a K3?

 

Steve ... the key is the visit to the government office, registration of marriage, and the infamous "red book" ... that's what the governments of China and the US regard as marriage in China.

 

Even at our "wedding" (engagement) dinner I gave a little speech about how I will take care of Lao Po and she did likewise. It's things like that that constitute what Tim is referring to as a symbolic wedding. As long as he doesn't register a marriage with the Chinese government he's OK.

[timb]

I had consulted with a Chinese lawyer on this, yes, as long as you don't register the wedding, your still on a K1.

 

Tim

 

 

>>>We are not going through the K3 process, we will have the Symbolic wedding for her and family there in China.

 

Maybe I worry too much...but might that "symbolic" wedding actually be viewed as the real deal - forcing you to switch to a K3?

 

Steve ... the key is the visit to the government office, registration of marriage, and the infamous "red book" ... that's what the governments of China and the US regard as marriage in China.

 

Even at our "wedding" (engagement) dinner I gave a little speech about how I will take care of Lao Po and she did likewise. It's things like that that constitute what Tim is referring to as a symbolic wedding. As long as he doesn't register a marriage with the Chinese government he's OK.