Just when you thought you had it bad

[chinadave2001]

While I was waiting for Sarah to emerge with her visa I met another Chinese American man who was also waiting for his wife. They had been separated for seven years. He had immigrated first, on a working visa, was able to get permanent residency after some years, and finally became a citizen last year. He then sponsored his wife and eight year old daughter to come over. I know it's not the same thing thing as our situations, but what story of love, determination, sacrifice and devotion. Apparently some still believe in the American dream.

dave

[Argyle]

Congratulations on your success Dave!

 

Your story really brings home the fact that no matter how bad things are, they can always be worse.

 

I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to wait seven years to be reunited as a family. That hardly seems like the America that I have loved and served so diligently these past 20 years...

 

What happened???

 

[chinadave2001]

Congratulations on your success Dave!

 

Your story really brings home the fact that no matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. 

 

I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to wait seven years to be reunited as a family.  That hardly seems like the America that I have loved and served so diligently these past 20 years...

 

What happened???

 

Hi Argyle,

I only had to wait about 10 months total. This other man who immigrated to the US was also waiting for his wife and daughter. They had been separated for 7 years - while he worked in the US she and their daughter were waiting in China....

Dave

[wolf]

I guess that story brings alot home for all of us. I have heard about so many families from China that have been separated for that long or longer with the American dream in mind. I hope for there sake that when they are united and come here that they will be able to get on with their lives, not so changed that it ends up not working out for them.

IT's a bad world out there folkes.

[Guest R2D2]

While I was waiting for Sarah to emerge with her visa I met another Chinese American man who was also waiting for his wife. They had been separated for seven years. He had immigrated first, on a working visa, was able to get permanent residency after some  years, and finally became a citizen last year. He then sponsored his wife and eight year old daughter to come over. I know it's not the same thing thing as our situations, but what story of love, determination, sacrifice and devotion. Apparently some still believe in the American dream.

dave

Dave, if you have the opportunity, get a copy of the Chinese experience in America. It aired on PBS this year and it is for sale by PBS for $100. It is well worth the price and will give all of us much insight into the plight of the Chinese that immigrated to America from past to present.

[Mick]

Thanks for posting this Dave. When I lived in China, I knew many who were in the same boat as this man's wife and child. They were patiently waiting, going about their daily lives as their family member worked on getting a visa for them. That seven year wait is not uncommon. Unfortunate but true.

[robhon]

I know a lot of people in the Chinese community here in the San Francisco area. This story (7 year wait) is not uncommon at all! It's tremendously sad. It's really rough for many of them.

 

One of my Chinese employees, shortly after giving birth to her first child, sent her baby back to China to live with her grandmother because she and her husband could not afford to take care of him here. She brings in pictures of her kid to work often but now hasn't held her child in more than a year, and probaby won't see him for another two years.

 

Yeah, in a great many ways, the plight of modern Chinese in America is not vastly changed from that of the railroad days of the late 1800's.

[angeloflight]

I've lived in New York's Chinese community ever since I came to the states. I've heard and personally know far too many stories like that. You think waiting 7 years is unreal? i frequently heard personal stories that people had waited 10+ years for their love ones to get here. They are usually illegal immigrants and those who "jumped off" the planes to stay in the U.S. for them, the chance that they meet with their love ones is almost without hope.

[tparrent]

Sorry but I have no sympathy for illegals who are separated from their families. They made the choice, they pay the consequences.

 

I know of a lot of people in the local Chinese community who are here illegally by various means ranging from fake documents to fake marriages. In at least one case I even know a woman who had her fake husband adopt her real kid. The fake husband is, in reality, married to another woman and has a family. The fake marriage is simply a convenience that he was paid for.

 

NO sympathy from this corner.

[Guest R2D2]

Yes, it is easy to have a lack of sympathy for the hungry and poor and downtroden. Opps. that is what the Statue of Liberty symbolized, "Give me your hungry and poor".

 

Imaginine yourself as a younger man. Would you have the courage to leave your family, your culture, and your security, to go to a place where you do not speak the language and might have to work in servitude for many years to pay the folks that got you there-just so that you could send money home and make a better life for your family and children. Like today, if you are a white European, there are no security checks for wives, children, and fiances. The package is sent directly to the consulate for processing.

 

I guess there will not be a level playing field until we all make $80 a month worldwide and; that is soon approaching with a few making millions off of the hungry, poor, and downtroden. Things have not changed much in 100 years either for the Chinese coming to this country or for white middle American ideals.

 

It is usually the ones screaming the loadest against mixing cultures that err the most. Strom Thurmand ran for president under the dixiecrat label and at the time, had a daughter by a black woman. Do as I tell you, not as I do! Is that one of the commandments? We have not progressed very much in all these years and shame on us all. At the base of the Statue of liberty:

 

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

[wolf]

Illegials may be a problem for any country, but it is usually the people of that country that want them to come for cheap labor. Look at the farm business. Without illegials were would it be?

[Guest R2D2]

Times have changed. Illegal immigration from ANY country is a problem for all of us who are here legally.

It only makes for more American consumers to sell goods and services to and broadens the economy and culture. It is the short sided that see the immigrants as taking something away. They give more by creating an expanded economy and thus providing more jobs-not less.

[AngryTexan]

While I consider myself to be fairly liberal, I'm afraid I'm with tparrent on this one. While I was enduring my 16 month wait, there was a Palestinian family here in Houston that was about to be deported to Jordan. They had come on tourist visas many, many years ago and simply overstayed. In any event, a local Congresswoman, Sheila Jackson Lee, took up their cause by arranging media events, press conferences, and even going so far as to introduce a resolution in the House of Representatives calling for them to be granted permanent residence status. Again, these people broke the rules, and were living here illegally!!!!

All I can say is that Congresswoman Lee is damn lucky that I do not live in her district, because if I did, I would have taken up permanent residence in her office, demanding that Xiaolu and I be afforded the same constituent service she was giving to those who broke the rules

[tparrent]

While I consider myself to be fairly liberal, I'm afraid I'm with tparrent on this one.

Many people are afraid when they're with me

 

I'm neither conservative nor anti-immigration. I do, however, feel that people who break the law should not be treated better than those who follow it. I wish conditions were such that immigration to the U.S. was easier for everyone. I think immigration makes a better country. However, initial disrespect for the law is not a good start.

 

As for sending the babies home to stay with grandparents, I know several Chinese who have done this. I don't understand it. I cannot imagine sending my daughter away like that. The "we can't afford to take care of a kid" response is bunk. Many people here live on less than those I know who sent kids back. Why have the kids in the first place? Why burden your parents in their "golden years"? Pure selfishness if you ask me.

 

Some may wave the "culutral differences" glag at me. Bunk again I say. I thought the long and honored cultural tradition in China was for children to take care of their parents when they got older.

 

Whoa~!~!~!~!~ Just fell off my soapbox

[Argyle]

Hi All,

 

Let's agree to disagree on illegal immigration. It's a very complex issue, and we could spend years exploring it.

 

I hope we can spend our time on this board in a positive manner, discussing our experiences, exchanging information, and trying to develop a strategy to bring this insane visa morass to an end.

 

We are all here for the same reason, and we all want the same thing.

 

Together, we can make it happen.