The Chinese Dowry

[RLS]

Thank you all for your responses. It seems that I'm alone in having to deal with this. Believe me, it is not an easy issue to deal with.

[naogong]

I gave my new baba $1000 in one hundred dollar bills when I officially asked for my laopo's hand in marriage, at my wife's suggestion, and after I asked her what was appropriate. She was living with her aunt and uncle all during the time when I met and married her, and I have always stayed with them during my 3 month long visits in China. I gave them $500 which they reluctantly took. I've received much more from her family than I ever gave however. We took in over $5000 USD in red bags from family at our marriage banquet, including a $2400 red bag from one of her uncle's who is a chinese millionaire. Her family also has paid for so many meals, gifts of jade, chinese medicine, a computer that another uncle gave to facilitate our communication when he found that I was planning on buying a new IMac. I have received far more from them than I've given (not to mention the hand of my dear wife) , my chinese family are so generous! I know that all they want from me is that I give Keke the best care and love I can, and that is and will always be my goal.

[SheLikesME?]

Northern girl, no dowry. Although my wife once said I need to if I meet them, but then she says she told the whole family she will stop giving her parents and siblings money, even though she made more than any of them. She likes our way better. Bottom line, I'm confused

 

I want to meet her parents. I expect i will give something, for one thing I will stay in their house, if and when.

 

Let's put it this way. A dowry never crossed my mind when I went to meet her and had I met her parents then I would have done nothing, but meet them and pay our way.

[tonado]

Southern girls (the ones from GZ area) definitely require dowry.

[C4Racer]

My wife is from Nanning (Southern girl) , no dowery, no gifts.

I am not sure of the custom, but I agree with Carl.

Second marriage for us both.

I think dowry is usually if it's first time for the bride.

Edited May 31, 2007 by C4Racer (see edit history)

[Steve and Aiwen]

I gave my Chinese Baba and Mama red envelopes with 900 yuan each in them....the amount was suggested by my SO and one of my Chinese friends as a "lucky number".....not much money, really....My SO's parents gave us wonderful gold rings..."wedding presents"...said Baba...my Chinese family has given me so much, many gifts, but most of all they have accepted me as one of the family, given me my Chinese name, and made me feel a valued member of the family.....they proudly say "You are our son, now!"....the other 2 sisters and 2 brothers also make me feel part of the family...always trying to do for me, or give me something.....it is not something I am used to. Not only did I strike "gold" by finding my SO, her family is just fantastic! They are big in the restaurant biz, and well-off. I shudder to think of the send-off we will get soon, when we get the visa and leave for the US. I hope I make it through the partying.....watch out for Baba's special brandy.....(chinese white lightning).

 

Steve

[SinoTexas]

Wow, this amazing information. HER parents gave ME red envelopes with large sums of cash and a card with their soon to be new address (no keys though)! Must be a Hubei tradition or they really wanted her outta the house...

 

As aye,

 

Jim