A few words to all you hopefuls

[shyaushu]

Some of you may know me from my substantial posts pre-visa and perhaps from my recent posts in the bad endings section. Or perhaps from the short novel chapter about "our great love" I posted not too long ago. Basically, my wife and I got a visa after about 11 months; she came here; things were great, then bad, then terminal. This is an update and it IS about GENERAL VISA issues!

 

I just came back from the first family court hearing and here is the situation:

 

1. I filed a Domestic Violence petition against my wife after she threatened to kill me with a kitchen knife.

2. At today's hearing (to end or extend that petition) her lawyer handed me HER Domestic Violence petition against me!

3. In it she alleges (i.e., swears, under oath) I did everything but have sex with squirrels.

4. He wants me to drop mine and he'll drop hers, BUT:

 

I have to admit to these absurd lies.

I have to swear to INS that our marriage was "wonderful" and we are like love birds, and thus, ensure she ges her "Permanent Resident" status in a year.

And, I have to pay her the 125% of the "poverty level" I promised to pay her in my Affadavit of Support. That's nearly $1,000 a month!

 

Let me tell you -- from bitter and so regrettable experience -- make sure you know who you are marrying! (Easier said than done). There really ARE a significant number of women in China (and elsewhere, I'm sure) who are ONLY interested in a ticket out of China and a Green Card!

 

Second, (refer to the first one, above) signing that Affadavit of Support may leave you open to some aggressive divorce lawyer leveraging that kind of support payment, even if I (and many others here) do not read it THAT way. It's a foot in the door for them.

 

I married my Chinese wife because my wife of 2o years died and I wanted to "start a new life" with someone totally new. And this woman did THAT to me! I was just fresh (and naive) meat.

 

I WAS perfect in my devotion and love in this new marriage. I even learned Madarin for her, since she couldn't/wouldn't learn English.

 

A word to the wise! It all seems so exciting and wonderful . . . until good girls go bad.

 

Women like my wife are an embarrassment and insult to the thousands of wonderful, sincere Chinese women who are really seeking love and a loving partnership. I am a pretty savy guy, and I've lived in many parts of the world (France, Japan, Korea, etc.), yet this one really snookered me. THE SAME COULD HAPPEN TO YOU! I do not get taken advantage of very often, but this one was a pro.

 

Be careful, please.

Edited November 1, 2006 by shyaushu (see edit history)

[Randy W]

If I read that correctly, she is asking you to lie to the INS about your marriage. Report that to the INS.

[Yuanyang]

Are you going to challenge her suit?

[NewDay2006]

Some of you may know me from my substantial posts pre-visa and perhaps from my recent posts in the bad endings section. Or perhaps from the short novel chapter about "our great love" I posted not too long ago. Basically, my wife and I got a visa after about 11 months; she came here; things were great, then bad, then terminal. This is an update and it IS about GENERAL VISA issues!

 

I just came back from the first family court hearing and here is the situation:

 

1. I filed a Domestic Violence petition against my wife after she threatened to kill me with a kitchen knife.

2. At today's hearing (to end or extend that petition) her lawyer handed me HER Domestic Violence petition against me!

3. In it she alleges (i.e., swears, under oath) I did everything but have sex with squirrels.

4. He wants me to drop mine and he'll drop hers, BUT:

 

I have to admit to these absurd lies.

I have to swear to INS that our marriage was "wonderful" and we are like love birds, and thus, ensure she ges her "Permanent Resident" status in a year.

And, I have to pay her the 125% of the "poverty level" I promised to pay her in my Affadavit of Support. That's nearly $1,000 a month!

 

Let me tell you -- from bitter and so regrettable experience -- make sure you know who you are marrying! (Easier said than done). There really ARE a significant number of women in China (and elsewhere, I'm sure) who are ONLY interested in a ticket out of China and a Green Card!

 

Second, (refer to the first one, above) signing that Affadavit of Support may leave you open to some aggressive divorce lawyer leveraging that kind of support payment, even if I (and many others here) do not read it THAT way. It's a foot in the door for them.

 

I married my Chinese wife because my wife of 2o years died and I wanted to "start a new life" with someone totally new. And this woman did THAT to me! I was just fresh (and naive) meat.

 

I WAS perfect in my devotion and love in this new marriage. I even learned Madarin for her, since she couldn't/wouldn't learn English.

 

A word to the wise! It all seems so exciting and wonderful . . . until good girls go bad.

 

Women like my wife are an embarrassment and insult to the thousands of wonderful, sincere Chinese women who are really seeking love and a loving partnership. I am a pretty savy guy, and I've lived in many parts of the world (France, Japan, Korea, etc.), yet this one really snookered me. THE SAME COULD HAPPEN TO YOU! I do not get taken advantage of very often, but this one was a pro.

 

Be careful, please.

Scary Indeed.

 

But I would think she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Edited November 1, 2006 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[pkfops]

These stories make me feel lucky that I was indroduced

to my wife through her ABC family here in Ca.

[jim_julian]

Just my opinion but ... pre-nups help ... both as an indicator going in and as a tool if it all falls apart.

[NewDay2006]

Just my opinion but ... pre-nups help ... both as an indicator going in and as a tool if it all falls apart.

 

Too late for that now.

[NewDay2006]

 

make sure you know who you are marrying! (Easier said than done).

 

How does anyone really know who they are marrying, either from here or there ???

The only difference is, from here, the consequences are not as severe

Edited November 1, 2006 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[rlheim]

I may not be admissable in court, but, if you do not have hard copy of----"3. In it she alleges (i.e., swears, under oath) I did everything but have sex with squirrels.

4. He wants me to drop mine and he'll drop hers, BUT:

I have to admit to these absurd lies.

I have to swear to INS that our marriage was "wonderful" and we are like love birds, and thus, ensure she ges her "Permanent Resident" status in a year.

And, I have to pay her the 125% of the "poverty level" I promised to pay her in my Affadavit of Support. That's nearly $1,000 a month!-----" have a meeting with him, document the information, and have him verbaly repeat these words, and take a small digital recorder with you. Record the time you get out of the car to the end of the meeting. Don't let on. Send that to the Bar Assoc. Along with a letter stating the time, date, and his information. Send information to ICE too. If you want to fight this, there are many teeth to use.

 

 

 

Very sorry to hear the continuing saga. I was married to a Filipina for 15 years, I saw tons of fraud coming out of there. Spent a lot of time there too, heard how many girls "went to work" on the guys. Even here in the States I see this from American gals too, so it is not exclusive to imports!

 

 

 

Hope it all turns out ok.

Edited November 1, 2006 by rlheim (see edit history)

[lostinblue]

As he signed a support document how would a pre nup help in this case . You are not looking at a division of assets. Too short a marriage for that. I-864 is concern here. You are talking about a women who has no english ability thus no way of self support within say 25 miles of his home. Now she went to a shelter and a social worker will greet her with open arms . We can get you a place to live a food allowance , whatever . The United States is the best place on earth to be poor which she is right now. and I-864 says the social services have a ready made bank. If fraud can be shown maybe this is an out, maybe you now need an immigration lawyer as well as a divorce lawyer. As she has no ability to pay her lawyer I think you will end up paying for both lawyers . perhaps, I am not sure . What i am sure it will be a very big mess.So sorry. When I got divorced my lawyer was not working for me .My ex's lawyer was not working for her. It could have been settled so quick . They worked each other as to make as much money as they could.

[lostinblue]

I may not be admissable in court, but, if you do not have hard copy of----"3. In it she alleges (i.e., swears, under oath) I did everything but have sex with squirrels.

4. He wants me to drop mine and he'll drop hers, BUT:

I have to admit to these absurd lies.

I have to swear to INS that our marriage was "wonderful" and we are like love birds, and thus, ensure she ges her "Permanent Resident" status in a year.

And, I have to pay her the 125% of the "poverty level" I promised to pay her in my Affadavit of Support. That's nearly $1,000 a month!-----" have a meeting with him, document the information, and have him verbaly repeat these words, and take a small digital recorder with you. Record the time you get out of the car to the end of the meeting. Don't let on. Send that to the Bar Assoc. Along with a letter stating the time, date, and his information. Send information to ICE too. If you want to fight this, there are many teeth to use.

 

 

 

Very sorry to hear the continuing saga. I was married to a Filipina for 15 years, I saw tons of fraud coming out of there. Spent a lot of time there too, heard how many girls "went to work" on the guys. Even here in the States I see this from American gals too, so it is not exclusive to imports!

 

 

 

Hope it all turns out ok.

 

 

I think you cannot record someone without their permission. A lawyer would own every asset you have in the end.

[rlheim]

When I got divorced my lawyer was not working for me .My ex's lawyer was not working for her. It could have been settled so quick . They worked each other as to make as much money as they could.

 

 

 

Isn't that the American way with lawyers?

 

Remember, you get what you pay for with a lawyer, as with anything else.

 

I also think an Immigration attorney would be a very good idea, along with a very shrewed divorce attorney.

[tywy_99]

Fight the good fight, Wally! I hope you prevail!

 

-good luck

[drive_75]

When I got divorced my lawyer was not working for me .My ex's lawyer was not working for her. It could have been settled so quick . They worked each other as to make as much money as they could.

I found this to be a very true and accurate statement. I have the same problem when I went through divorce.

[SirLancelot]

As he signed a support document how would a pre nup help in this case . You are not looking at a division of assets. Too short a marriage for that. I-864 is concern here. You are talking about a women who has no english ability thus no way of self support within say 25 miles of his home. Now she went to a shelter and a social worker will greet her with open arms . We can get you a place to live a food allowance , whatever . The United States is the best place on earth to be poor which she is right now. and I-864 says the social services have a ready made bank. If fraud can be shown maybe this is an out, maybe you now need an immigration lawyer as well as a divorce lawyer. As she has no ability to pay her lawyer I think you will end up paying for both lawyers . perhaps, I am not sure . What i am sure it will be a very big mess.So sorry. When I got divorced my lawyer was not working for me .My ex's lawyer was not working for her. It could have been settled so quick . They worked each other as to make as much money as they could.

 

It doesn't matter if the OP divorces and the marriage was all fight and no warm feelings. So long as the marriage wasn't a sham--or at least that his lawyer can't prove that it was a sham--the OP is liable for support as per the I-864. Until the alien spouse reachs 40 SS work quarters, or either parties die, or the spouse becomes a USC, the petitioner is liable for her financial support to least 125% of the federal poverty level. To make matter worse, it doesn't even matter if she remarries. If she remarries a bum with no money, the OP is still liable for her financial support, of at least 125% of the federal poverty level.

 

The I-864 is the most dangerous piece of federal contract in existense. It's basically endorsement of blackmail by the federal government.

 

One has to be EXTREMELY trusting of the alien spouse to sign the I-864. The I-134 has been ruled NOT legally binding. But the I-864 HAS been ruled legally BINDING.