Wife Isn't Happy

[Cody]

My wife has been here a year, and finally got her work permit. It was difficult for her to find a job because her English is still relatively weak. At last, TJ-Maxx, a clothing store, offered her a cashier position. We were both very excited at first. I told her that this would be her stepping stone to greater things. However, there is one problem... the pay is only $5.65/hr with 10 hours a week. So after working for one week, she is exhausted and unhappy about her job. She wants to quit immediately and then look for another job with more pay.

 

I advised her to keep the job until she finds something better, but that only made her upset at me... for not being understanding enough.

 

So here is the question. If your so has limited langage abilities, what job does he/she do? Is schooling the best option. My so thought about going to school to be a dental hygenist, but they require adequate SAT scores to get into the program. Are there any vocational courses that would be appropriate? Are there better job options for someone with weak English skills? Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Edited May 27, 2006 by Cody (see edit history)

[rogerluli]

Cody we are pretty much in the same boat but we are still waiting for my wife's green card so she cannot work yet. When she gets her card we are going to go to a state employment office and see what they advise. If you want school why not try the counseling office at your local technical college. I'm sure that these kind of resources would be very familiar with placing people with limited English skills.

[m-coon]

You may be forced to relocate to an area that offers more pay for someone with limited english ability.

 

There are parts of the country where you can find pay over $10 per hour and a 60 to 80 hour work week (if she wants it) doing work such as housekeeping or restaurant work that requires little to no english.

 

If you want to save this marriage - you may have to make this change. You need to decide what is most important to you: Move and make her happy or stay and risk loosing her???

 

Obviously you can better educate her to get her a better paying job there - but this will take more time. It sounds like that is a luxury that you do not have. It sounds like she wants action right now.

 

If there is no better work there - you don't have many other options that will give you the results you need as quickly as you need them.

 

Good luck on solving this problem.

 

m-coon

[rogerluli]

60 to 80 hour work week (if she wants it)

 

218813[/snapback]

[se_lang]

She could do what we refer to as 3PL 3rd party labor Eg... temp agency many of them hire non English speaking people to do simple tasks like put a part in a box, at my work they make from 6.25 to 8.00 my wife started doing this work because she was bored at home now her English is better and she has a new job doing QA work for 9.25. So in short it is not good for your wife to bounce from job to job however I don't think anyone would hold it against her for wanting more pay and more hours, She wants to work and feel she is making a difference support her in her choices.

[LeeFisher3]

If you want to save this marriage - you may have to make this change. You need to decide what is most important to you: Move and make her happy or stay and risk loosing her???

218813[/snapback]

Talk of relocating to save a marriage over her first experience with working in the US is putting the whole wagon train ahead of the horse.

 

She has met a strong disappointment as many of our SO's do, but I don't see anything concerning the ending of a marriage in this situation.

[LeeFisher3]

See if there are any retirement communities in your area, the pay is usually better and I don't think the work would be so much of a struggle for her.

 

What is really making her tired is trying to translate the language, it is just plain exhuasting. It is difficult, but it gets easier as time goes on.

[Dennis143]

I advised her to keep the job until she finds something better, but that only made her upset at me... for not being understanding enough.?

218797[/snapback]

Sounds like you are learning. The best advice that I can give you is to always encourage and support her. Always try to assure her that the family budget does not depend on her earning an income and that whatever she decides you will encourage her.

 

Believe me, I have had long soul-searching thoughts from the helpful advice of CFL friends over this exact same topic. In the end, I think that everyone must realize that it is so very important to understand the added expense that will be incurred while you wait for your wife to master English well enough to get a decent job and contribute monetarily to the household. If you are not on a good enough financial footing to take on this added cost, I wonder if it is really fair to bring someone into your life and not provide for all their needs and wants while pressuring them to get a job quickly.

 

 

(I am not saying that this is what I read from your post, Cody. I am just speaking in generalities here.)

Edited May 27, 2006 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[skibum]

My wife had trouble finding a job at first and her English was pretty good. But she lucked into a job at POLO when she went there and many of her friends from ESL were working there. After a few months they wanted her to become a lead and work into being a manager. They could not believe it when she turned it down.

Her second job came when her accounting teacher practically forced her to apply.

So, my recommendation is to get her English up to snuff, find where other immigrants are working and not rush things. Everyone wants good help but many employers don't know it when they see it fill out an application.

I would think that her English would be pretty good if she was working as a cashier.

She should keep her present job (10 hours a week and she is exhausted?) and look around for something better. Remind her also that employers usually give a raise after a couple of month also. Going on my wife's experience, she also needs to stay very busy all the time - if no one needs to check out, be folding and straightening clothes. Ask the mgr to teach her other jobs. A begining job is just that, the sky is the limit.

Remind her that she is in America and unlike China, hard work is rewarded.

[tonado]

Attend a community college.

[JamesnYuHong]

Chinese restaurants. The tips are widely variable depending on the restaurant, but you can start at one, learn the menus and basic restaurant English, and move on to another one where the tips tend to be better. Then you can move on to a non-Chinese restaurant.

The added benefit of a Chinese restaurant is an instant network of other Chinese speakers.

[NDTPRO]

Hey, Try Dish network, Direct TV, local cable providers, they are always looking for help and pays not too bad. Just need to get past the application process thy will train for the position. Do this in conjunction with english classes. Also the local courts look for persons to be Gardian at Lidieum, these program are at the lower end of the pay spectrum but it's a starting place. I think she should be happy that TJ Max gave her a shot everyone has to start some where. TJ Max will start you out low but as soon as they see you arte a performer and you have great work ethic they will want to keep you. as any where the more valuable an employee you make yourself the better off you are.

It was mentioned before but some of the upscale Chinese eaterys will give a good starting place also. It is not easy and only a very determined person will pull this off. Good Luck!

[march]

My wife had trouble finding a job at first and her English was pretty good. But she lucked into a job at POLO when she went there and many of her friends from ESL were working there.  After a few months they wanted her to become a lead and work into being a manager. They could not believe it when she turned it down.

Her second job came when her accounting teacher practically forced her to apply.

So, my recommendation is to get her English up to snuff, find where other immigrants are working and not rush things. Everyone wants good help but many employers don't know it when they see it fill out an application.

I would think that her English would be pretty good if she was working as a cashier.

She should keep her present job (10 hours a week and she is exhausted?) and look around for something better.  Remind her also that employers usually give a raise after a couple of month also. Going on my wife's experience, she also needs to stay very busy all the time - if no one needs to check out, be folding and straightening clothes. Ask the mgr to teach her other jobs. A begining job is just that, the sky is the limit.

Remind her that she is in America and unlike China, hard work is rewarded.

218831[/snapback]

i have been in china for over 20 years, i think hard work is highly valued and rewarded in china too.

[Luo_Bin_&_Jialu]

Send her to school. This keeps her busy and REALLY gives her ammo to get mad at you

 

One thing I know about Chinese woman is that they can be quite difficult. Similar to handling delicate glass statuettes...

 

Mine got pregnant and that got her quieted down a bit. I now have about two years to figure out some kind of business to get her--as she will not work for anyone else--so my options are even more limited than yours seem to be.

 

Good luck and let us know how things go..and congratulations on your green card. We have the interview on July 20.

 

Rob

[warpedbored]

She could do what we refer to as 3PL 3rd party labor Eg... temp agency many of them hire non English speaking people to do simple tasks like put a part in a box, at my work they make from 6.25 to 8.00 my wife started doing this work because she was bored at home now her English is better and she has a new job doing QA work for 9.25. So in short it is not good for your wife to bounce from job to job however I don't think anyone would hold it against her for wanting more pay and more hours, She wants to work and feel she is making a difference support her in her choices.

218815[/snapback]

This is actually a pretty good idea. Try Volt temp services. They hire many resident aliens with low english skills to do production work in the high tech sector. Eventually they can get on with the company full time. Depending on where you live and what shift they are wiling to work they can start at around 10-12 dollars an hour.