No more RLS's

[RLS]

There may not be anymore RLS posting. I am not hearing from my SO. She does not communicate with me on a regular basis. She does not have a computer and relies on a friend's computer. I am not a fortunate as some and cannot communicate with her. I love her and I think she loves me. I don't thing she is aware of how much is involved to get her over to the U.S. I don't think she has a clue on how difficult it is. I am trying my best. As I said, I love her very much and I feel deep inside that she loves me. I go for two or three days without an email from her. I don't like it. It leaves an empty feeling in my gut. I don't know what to do.

[Feathers268]

RLS,

You of course will know what is best, but, I'd say to give her a little time. I at times went weeks without hearing from Jen. There were times I figured she had given up on me and had moved on but she would return. Believe me when I say that I know how painful it is not hearing from her but what helped me was thinking about when I was there and how she took care of me and acted towards me. When I returned I saw how keeping the faith rewarded me and we are still on our honeymoon.

I wish you the best what ever happens and I hope you will be like me and one day look back on these days and grin as you look at you SO standing there by your side.

[Dan R]

I know how it feels to go days without a response. But reality is that it isn't always possible. What kind of job does she have. In China 10 hour days are the norm. Many jobs run 12-14/6 days per week. Often the only day people can manage anything besides work, cooking, laundry is on the day off.THis would be especially true if she has no internet at home or even has limited Emglish requiring someone else to be also available to translate.

[mama bear]

If there is a telephone at her home, you can buy a card to call her, it won't cost much, but you can keep in touch with each other, even you cannot communicate with her more, but at least you can hear her voice, feel her breath,and you will not feel as empty as nowadays in you heart.

[LeeFisher3]

Chinese New Year is just now ending with the Festival of Lanterns, the family and social obligations during the 2 weeks are enormous. There is a big difference in how this holiday is spent and US holidays. Now apply that to both her and the person helping her translate emails.

 

Don't think for a minute she doesn't know how difficult the process can be, I am sure she has talked with others. But she knows her man can do all these things better than others. :

 

Share your feelings with her and tell her that if she can not write much because she is busy she should just send you a short note so you won't worry. We went through the same thing last year during the holidays.

 

Be careful to not demand too much of her time, I did this and she made herself sick making the time to get me an email every day.

[obxtrainman]

After talking to my wife everyday for six months, then a trip to China, married , stayed there a month. She went home to the farm. I could only talk to her once a week. It was very difficult for us both.

 

She then went back to Shekou, things were normal for awhile. Then back to the farm for another month,,No communicating again,,I almost went insane.

 

Now she is thinking of returning home for the duration. It will be very difficult for both of us. But we love each other.

 

Nobody ever told you life would be fair or easy. It really applies during this journey you have chosen to take. Have some patience, give it a little time. Get her a cell phone, you get a phone card. I pay .4cents a minute to her cell phone, .2 cents per minute to her land line.

 

Hang in there, and good luck.

[Stone]

Nobody ever told you life would be fair or easy.  It really applies during this journey you have chosen to take.  Have some patience, give it a little time.  Get her a cell phone, you get a phone card.  I pay .4cents a minute to her cell phone, .2 cents per minute to her land line.

 

Hang in there, and good luck.

190431[/snapback]

If you use www.onesuite.com or www.dynasky.com/eCard_home.asp, you get $0.022 per minute no matter the Chinese number is a cell phone or land line. Forget to tell you, dynasky is $0.02 per minute, $0.002/min cheaper.

[shaffja]

The other replies have offered some really good advice.

 

I don't know the details of you SO's situation... but my wife also does not have a computer in her home. Although, if I would have known how long it was going to take to get her Visa I would have bought her one.

 

Somehow I manage to talk to her everyday - but then again she has only been working part time since we got married. So, now she is only working 20-30 hours a week as opposed to the 50-60 she was before.

 

We communicate with an Internet calling card that I purchased and renew online. We also use Yahoo messenger.

The calling card is less than .03 cents per minute - thats talking 30 minutes per day for less than a dollar.

Yahoo messenger is a free service... my wife goes to one of the many Internet cafes in her home town. The price varies depending on the alottment of time you purchase - the more time you buy the cheaper it is. She pays about .12 cents per hour for the card she purchases.

 

Was the trip to visit you SO your first trip in China? Would it be possible for you to go and live there for an extended period of time - 3 or 4 months for instance? If you can I would strongly suggest it. So you will have a better understanding of her culture and daily trials and tribulations. The life of an average Chinese citizen can by very trying compared to us spoiled Americans.

From your signature it doesn't appear that you have even started the Visa process? If not, you may have a long hard road ahead. Be strong and patient. You love her... everthing will be alright... it will just take a little perseverance.

[jemmyell]

Hi Ron,

 

Just use the extra time you have to make notes, get your forms together. If you had not visited her and seen the love in her eyes maybe you could think different, but for now you must the rock that she builds the rest of her life on.

 

As others have advised, get a phone card, I use OneSuite.

 

Even if you don't communicate well at all verbally, you can still say "wo ai ni" to her every day and hear it back.

 

-James

[Guest pushbrk]

There may not be anymore RLS posting.  I am not hearing from my SO.  She does not communicate with me on a regular basis.  She does not have a computer and relies on a friend's computer.  I am not a fortunate as some and cannot communicate with her.  I love her and I think she loves me.  I don't thing she is aware of how much is involved to get her over to the U.S.  I don't think she has a clue on how difficult it is.  I am trying my best.  As I said, I love her very much and I feel deep inside that she loves me.  I go for two or three days without an email from her.  I don't like it.  It leaves an empty feeling in my gut.  I don't know what to do.

190371[/snapback]

I almost sent this as a PM but changed my mind.

 

ATTENTION GETTER ALERT.....

 

Are you sure she's not just pissed that you lied to her about sending money and made her lose face at the Western Union office? :-)

 

Sometimes the communication difficulties can cause big problems. Just a couple days ago, Sherry tried to withdraw money from her debit card. She thought the ATM told her there was only 100RMB available. What it really told her was that only 100RMB notes were available. If she had just put in the amount she wanted, it was there for her. Fortunately, she emailed me politely apologizing if she had made a mistake and I explained what to do. I knew immediately what the problem was because I'd seen the 100RMB note message myself when withdrawing from an ATM in Nanning. We chatted before she made the next attempt and I told her to ask for help from the bank if she had any trouble next time. Once she was successful at withdrawing the money, I asked if she trusted me now. Of course she said she always did.

 

Anyway, you get my point. This, by they way, (trust) is one of the main reasons we married in China instead of expecting each other to live on the trust of a non-legal promise for up to a year. There were other even more important reasons, so don't anybody take that as a shot at the K1 folks.

 

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies by not establishing reliable channels of communication. Fortunately, Sherry has a cell phone and I can speed dial it from mine, or send a text message. We also arrange the next time and method by which we will communicate before signing off.

[shaffja]

Fortunately, Sherry has a cell phone and I can speed dial it from mine, or send a text message.  We also arrange the next time and method by which we will communicate before signing off.

190448[/snapback]

Mike,

 

Speaking of text messages... I haven't been able to figure out how to send my wife a text message to her phone there from a website here, as opposed to originating messages from a cell phone (I don't have a cell phone). For example, if you want to send a friend with an Alltel cellphone you can go to ... http://www.alltel.com/text_messaging/

... enter the mobile number and message and away it goes.

I believe my wife uses China Mobile for her provider. Anyone have any experience with this?

 

Jamison

Edited February 12, 2006 by shaffja (see edit history)

[tonado]

As suggested by other people, you should just call her. I am sure you have telephone and maybe even c-phone.

[Stone]

Fortunately, Sherry has a cell phone and I can speed dial it from mine, or send a text message.?We also arrange the next time and method by which we will communicate before signing off.

190448[/snapback]

Mike,

 

Speaking of text messages... I haven't been able to figure out how to send my wife a text message to her phone there from a website here, as opposed to originating messages from a cell phone (I don't have a cell phone). For example, if you want to send a friend with an Alltel cellphone you can go to ... http://www.alltel.com/text_messaging/

... enter the mobile number and message and away it goes.

I believe my wife uses China Mobile for her provider. Anyone have any experience with this?

 

Jamison

190451[/snapback]

shaffja:

 

The only thing I know of is a website called:

 

http://www.ecallchina.com/sms/sms.aspx

 

For each phone card you order, you get 20 SMS credits to send 20 free SMS messages to China mobile phone. I never bought their phone cards, but I have successfully sent my wife around 5-8 messages (sometines a short message means more than a phone call!). If you register on their website (it is free registration), you will be awarded 10 free messages to China immediately! Cool!

[Randy W]

Mike,

 

Speaking of text messages... I haven't been able to figure out how to send my wife a text message to her phone there from a website here, as opposed to originating messages from a cell phone (I don't have a cell phone).  For example, if you want to send a friend with an Alltel cellphone you can go to ... http://www.alltel.com/text_messaging/

... enter the mobile number and message and away it goes.

I believe my wife uses China Mobile for her provider.  Anyone have any experience with this?

 

Jamison

190451[/snapback]

 

 

How to Send SMS Worldwide

[jemmyell]

Mike,

 

Speaking of text messages... I haven't been able to figure out how to send my wife a text message to her phone there from a website here, as opposed to originating messages from a cell phone (I don't have a cell phone).  For example, if you want to send a friend with an Alltel cellphone you can go to ... http://www.alltel.com/text_messaging/

... enter the mobile number and message and away it goes.

I believe my wife uses China Mobile for her provider.  Anyone have any experience with this?

 

Jamison

190451[/snapback]

 

 

How to Send SMS Worldwide

190463[/snapback]

Hi,

 

Ipipi is a good service, but they currently only support China Unicom, and not China Mobile. My SO onlys uses her cell phone for emergencies and leaves it mostly off, so we don't text...

 

-James