001 Digest, today and yesterday

[tonado]

As Owen said, in China, money and salary is an open topic, for an example if in China one person meets his long-time-no-see high schoool classmates on the street, a possible conversation would probably go like this, which is unbelievable in the US:

 

Where do you work now?

XXXXX

How much do you make each month?

XXXXX

 

This is very common.  You don't have to be exact, but they are expecting an direct answer.

Really. I thought communism doesn't care for money. But we all know money is a big thing now in China.

[vince]

but really, in US, it's very easy to know the range of salaray based on the industry/position/length of work experience.

 

if you don't have much common sense, you can always go to www.salary.com to check it out

 

there is really nothing mysterious about what one earns in US

[floyd]

but really, in US, it's very easy to know the range of salaray based on the industry/position/length of work experience.

 

if you don't have much common sense, you can always go to www.salary.com to check it out

 

there is really nothing mysterious about what one earns in US

To an extent yes, but how does one know this information about you to be able to look it up? Very few know how long I have worked in a given field, and most have no idea what level the work is. Say you say you work in finance, are you a clerk, are you a manager, are you Sr. or Jr. etc...., same with saying you are 'in computers', are you a help desk person, a programmer, a sys admin, an analist, or a CTO?

 

 

And what about income from assets, I could be working as a pizza driver, and have rental properties, or a trust that pays me. I could have the job as a pizza driver to throw people off from the large trust etc.

 

Oh, and these are based on those surveys you get asking for your salary information from time to time, I for one, mistatemy income on these when for some reason I even return them at all.

[vince]

we are talking about people who know you here, are we?

 

as to the latter pointer, well, there will always be exceptions. Every country has many unemployed people with enormous asset.

 

all I am saying is that this cultural difference is over-emphasized.

[kkimm]

but really, in US, it's very easy to know the range of salaray based on the industry/position/length of work experience.

 

if you don't have much common sense, you can always go to www.salary.com to check it out

 

there is really nothing mysterious about what one earns in US

To an extent yes, but how does one know this information about you to be able to look it up? Very few know how long I have worked in a given field, and most have no idea what level the work is. Say you say you work in finance, are you a clerk, are you a manager, are you Sr. or Jr. etc...., same with saying you are 'in computers', are you a help desk person, a programmer, a sys admin, an analist, or a CTO?

 

 

And what about income from assets, I could be working as a pizza driver, and have rental properties, or a trust that pays me. I could have the job as a pizza driver to throw people off from the large trust etc.

agree...

it's being there to be found out or it's been being talked about are two different issues.

[vince]

but really, in US, it's very easy to know the range of salaray based on the industry/position/length of work experience.

 

if you don't have much common sense, you can always go to www.salary.com to check it out

 

there is really nothing mysterious about what one earns in US

To an extent yes, but how does one know this information about you to be able to look it up? Very few know how long I have worked in a given field, and most have no idea what level the work is. Say you say you work in finance, are you a clerk, are you a manager, are you Sr. or Jr. etc...., same with saying you are 'in computers', are you a help desk person, a programmer, a sys admin, an analist, or a CTO?

 

 

And what about income from assets, I could be working as a pizza driver, and have rental properties, or a trust that pays me. I could have the job as a pizza driver to throw people off from the large trust etc.

agree...

it's being there to be found out or it's been being talked about are two different issues.

and you think Americans don't talk about salary?

[Lurker]

Salary is only one part of the equation. The other is allocation. Do you save money for a house or spend it on dog washing services--as jasonzzzz's original post mentioned. And more to the point, whose business is it, the couple's or the extended family's? If I read Owen right, there are at least two good answers to that question, depending on your culture.

[Charlotte]

I would shed some light on this cultural difference in the new forum PJ set up someday when I get my baby settled here.

Well, one quick note here is: Chinese are very keen to know the cost of everything - regardless of whose it is. I bet all of your Chinese partners will ask you: "how much is it?" everytime time you buy or bring something home. Being in this country so long, I became quite westernized in the respect. During my last trip in Shanghai, everytime I paid for the dinner for my family of 10 in a restaurant, my mother would always insisted on my showing her the bill, so does everyone else. I felt so bad, but I understand this is in China! So in your day-to-day relationship -- we need to learn to adjust and respect each other's culture -- do as the Romans do --is the best advise to give you. Like Owen, who is China, he has to air his financial laundries to his in-laws before he can even think about marrying their daughter. When you are in this country, you better adjust to the culture here a little -- DO NOT ASK ABOUT THE COST OF A CAR, HOUSE TO A FRIEND OR EVEN A FAMILY MEMBER -- they will tell you if they want to know! It is difficult at the beginning to hold off those kind of curiosities, but you will get used to it and you better get used to it for you to be able to get accepted in the social environment. There are many indirect ways to find out about the price, of course, but learn to avoid this direct question, this includes your American spouse.

[vince]

I believe the habit you just described have everything to do with the fact that many, many Chinese people have endured extreme poverty during 60's, 70's and 80's. Things are slowing chaning nowadays.

[kkimm]

and you think Americans don't talk about salary?

 

we talk about it, but not as public. And it only happens between close friends, etc. like I am in a lunch and complaining about my work

[Charlotte]

and you think Americans don't talk about salary?

 

we talk about it, but not as public. And it only happens between close friends, etc. like I am in a lunch and complaining about my work

Yes, they do among close friends when the topic comes up. But it would never be an abrupt question by itself.

[Charlotte]

I believe the habit you just described have everything to do with the fact that many, many Chinese people have endured extreme poverty during 60's, 70's and 80's. Things are slowing chaning nowadays.

Provety can change, but habit is dying hard to change. A lot of my Chinese friends here in the US, probably make more money than I do. But they all know how much my house/car is because they asked me. I don't know theirs because I did not. I try to be understanding when among my own people, but this is just hard for many Chinese to hold of this cost curiosity.

[vince]

I believe the habit you just described have everything to do with the fact that many, many Chinese people have endured extreme poverty during 60's, 70's and 80's. Things are slowing chaning nowadays.

Provety can change, but habit is dying hard to change. A lot of my Chinese friends here in the US, probably make more money than I do. But they all know how much my house/car is because they asked me. I don't know theirs because I did not. I try to be understanding when among my own people, but this is just hard for many Chinese to hold of this cost curiosity.

yes they earn some good salary now. but they have experienced the hardships when they were young.

[Charlotte]

yes they earn some good salary now. but they have experienced the hardships when they were young.

Being a Chinese myself, i know this is more of a culture than money itself. My daughter's generation has never experienced any proverty -- that does not change the habit. Chinese like to save for a rainy day by nature -- the household savings in this country is tremendously compared to the income they have. So asking cost -- comparing price -- before they start shopping!

[Argyle]

Very interesting thread indeed!

 

I agree that in American culture, most financial matters simple aren't discussed in polite conversation. However, I feel that it isn't just a cultural issue, but a personal one.

 

I know some people who feel extremely uncomfortable discussing finances with anyone, even family (this includes in-laws, especially prospective in-laws!). I know others who feel quite at ease discussing financial matters. Within reason of course!

 

Personally I don't have a problem discussing my financial situation with my fiancee or her parents. I see their questions as legitimate concerns for their daughter's well-being. I'm just an average middle class working guy with a mortgage and a car note.

 

They know that I am not rich, and will never be. But, they also know that I have a good job, and can provide a good life for their daughter.

 

Open honest communication is always best.