Cleanin' Out My Closet

[skibum]

I am willing to bet that she will not have a man in China when she gets back either! She screwed up her life more than yours PJ. And she will never be able to find a better man than you but it will be pretty easy for you to do better next time. I wonder what her own family will think of her now.

The site that I told you about only has Russian women. I was suggesting that you start a page here for Chinese women but I doubt it will ever contain more than one name.

 

http://www.global7network.com/ru/us_en/mes...lt.asp?mb=scams

[Guest enight]

The site that I told you about only has Russian women.  I was suggesting that you start a page here for Chinese women but I doubt it will ever contain more than one name.

 

http://www.global7network.com/ru/us_en/mes...lt.asp?mb=scams

why for Chinese women?

why?

 

for me or for anyone else?

 

how many should be put there!!!

[Guest enight]

it can be happened to any one

 

and it can be happened in any country

 

and it can be happened on women too

 

why make things going worse???

[Guest enight]

...

 

 

should we also make a link there to put the 'cheating or betrated americans' here too???

[La_Diva]

The site that I told you about only has Russian women.  I was suggesting that you start a page here for Chinese women but I doubt it will ever contain more than one name.

 

http://www.global7network.com/ru/us_en/mes...lt.asp?mb=scams

why for Chinese women?

why?

 

for me or for anyone else?

 

how many should be put there!!!

I think what he meant was SHE WILL BE THE ONLY ONE ON THE LIST, otherwise we will be with you full-heatedly.

 

PJ, she will pay for what she did to you and you deserve a better girl in your life..

[Guest goodrabit]

PJ like R@ said... now close the door and take care of yourself.

 

 

On a final observation though, when you wrote:

"My family said that many guys will try to get girls who are going to America to fall in love with them. Then they hope they can convince the girl to divorce her husband in America and help them come in the future"

 

That is the only thing  that made some kind of sick logic sense to me,  considering the scenario.

 

Take care PJ  

Like most of people here or on 001, I have to admit this was a very shocking but real story...I wished it could be just a story....And my heart goes out for you, P.J.....

 

Don't want to say any more how I feel about this, already enough!

 

Just think that P. J., maybe it's time to let it go......

 

GOD knows all your pain and sufferings, and he will bring you what you deserve....Just keep positive and have faith!

[skibum]

Enight, if you will read the site that the link takes you to, you will see what I am talking about. This problem is very evident in Russia and having the site undoubtably saves much heartbreak. I am in no way insulting Chinese women as I love one very much and I have found all Chinese women that I have met to be wonderful people. But as we have seen, there are bad people everywhere. My reason for the suggestion was to have her listed here where people come to see information about Chinese/American relationships. It would not do much good just to list her on a Russian board.

I think what you read was that I was suggesting that all Chinese women be put on the list. That is not it at all. Just the ones that try scams.

[ChrisD]

You have lost now, but your anger will eat you alive if you don't keep your mind together and think about the future again.

I understand fully how you feel, but I had the same situation happen to me about 5 years before...but very diferent outcome. I worked at the American Embassy in Thailand...I am American, she was Thai. My fiancee' and I had been together for 4 1/2 years and thought everything was going well. Before I came how from work one day...she secretly hired s moving truck and clean out the my whole house of all my pesonal belongings that she believe she deserved because she had given me the 5 best years of her life. She took the new motorbike I bought for her, my car, all my things that were mine inside my house ....she even took the stove, new refrigerator that was 6 months old that I bought, the complete stereo/audio and television...value 4 thousand US Dollars. I could not find her and she would call on her cell-phone to me taunting me that she had a secret husband that I did not know about for 3 years....so I was in the same boat as you only more extreme. I got the Thai law involved but they were only interested in extorting money from me and they said since she could not be found I had no case...also all my receipts and documents that I had proven ownership with my signature on them was no enough proof because they did not have her signature next to mine as joint ownership......they keep changing the law to do any non -thai's in. Anyway, I was sitting inside my empty house eatting a McDonalds Big Mac and fries alone and thinking about how she did me in. In all when I totaled everything up I lost 27,000 to 30,000 US Dollars by the whole situation......believe me I was totaled inside emotionally and she made sure she hurt me financially before she skipped town with her secret husband of 3 years. I lost everything, and I was devestated for 5 months....would not even look at another woman or talk to them.

I went to her parents home where she lived before, and talked with my fiancee's parents....the house they lived in had new roof, new ceramic floors, new furniture that I bought with my money because I cared for their daughter and really had a good relationship with her family for years. Anyway, her family told me they did not know me anymore !! They asked who I was and they called the Thai Police on me telling them they did not know who I was and I was tresspassing on their house, after all I did for them they refused to acknowledge who I was and the years of dinners we had eatten togther as a family did not exist or ever happened in their minds....but I remembered !!! The best advice I can give is.......this event in my life happened because I was blinded by love and tried to give everthing I had to make her life and her family's life better.....but in the end I really gave away my soul , I know how you feel now. This is the hardest thing you will do.....DO NOT HOLD THE ANGER INSIDE, it will hurt the relationships that you will have in your future !! Subconquessly in your mind you will carry this awlful situation inside yourself and it will hurt your future chances for marriage again. The women you meet now will sense that anger inside you, you will eventually let it go. I have peace inside my soul now and have started another family which was built on trust first.

Never look back no matter how much it hurts....your future depends on you getting your head together and stpping the anger inside.

 

I will say a prayer for you. Somtimes one door slams shut and another door to your future opens....but this door will have greater rewards and promise. It is up to you now to decide if you want to open that door or stay lost in time now thinking about what could have been and waste your chance of a greater future with a more loving and trusting wife.

 

Everybody at Candle Loves YOU,

Chris Lee

[Guest R2D2]

Right you are Chris. Us old cowboys have a saying, "The best you can do for the dead is to walk away and not look back."

[PJ]

Chris,

 

Thank you, my friend, for having the courage to share your story. It must have been painful to even type those words, but I know you did so to help others. My most sincere thoughts and prayers go out to you.

 

I am moving forward, with my life, my friend. The reason that I still post here and respond to questions about Ring and what happened is that I do feel a strong sense of obligation to share my story and respond to the questions about the incident. I feel that there is a good chance it will help others, or perhaps prevent this from happening to someone else.

 

I am very happy to hear that you have started a family now, one that is based on trust. I also admire and respect you for your great strength. If you wish to talk, please don't hesitate to get in touch. Right now, as you can imagine, I am way behind on my correspondence, but I will get caught up eventually.

 

I guess I have always felt a strong obligation to trying to help where I can, which is why this site exists, and which is why I will stand by and keep the site running to help others with the process and with any insight that I can provide.

 

I will stay strong, you please continue to do so also.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

P.J.

[owenkrout]

Alright. Just to make the point very clear that it is not a cultural matter, but rather a matter of morals and ethics, I will relate, briefly, my own story. I normally do not speak of this and I will not discuss it further.

 

My first wife was as much of a gold digger as Ring and she was born and raised American. I stayed married to her despite the fact that she told me to my face that she only married me as a way to get away from her parents and for a meal ticket. I stayed married after she abandoned me and two teenagers after I was laid off on disability. (A problem with sever arthritis that Traditional Chinese medicine has done wonders for.) I stayed married after not seeing her for years and recieving no help with finances for the two teenagers. I simply saw divorce as an absolute last recourse. I had made a commitment and stayed with it until it was obviously never going to work.

 

My point is that the matter has nothing to do with Ring being Chinese. She simply was interested in herself and no one else, hang the cost or effect on anyone else. I pity anyone foolish enough to marry her and stay with her. I know what it is like to live with that kind of selfishness for 20+ years.

 

I have been living with my Chinese wife (who had an equally bad or worse previous marriage, also abandoned) and I can say that we both often wish that we could have found each other sooner. But then we would have been different people now without going through the fire of those trials.

 

Guys and gals both, if you are not really sure that this is the right person. If you don't know enough about them yet. If you just have any bad feelings about what you are about to do, then now is the time to step back and give it a good think. Belive me, a bad marriage can be a living Hell. Just being in America is not enough to make it OK. The streets are not paved with gold in America and life is still hard there also. Likewise, she is a real living person, with all the quirks of such. She is not an ideal China doll that will always fulfill all your dreams.

 

Most of us probably have very good matches. I am only saying that if you have any doubts then take the time and spend the money to make some more trips over to China and get to know your honey and their family as well as you can. Expensive? Sure, but well worth the investment to be certain.

[Guest R2D2]

Very good advice, Owen! But what we have all been waiting for is news of your visa!!!!

[owenkrout]

Another four hours before the foreign affairs office will open up and we can find out. They control the reciept of mail, so we are at their mercy. At least he was good enough to call us yesterday on his day off and tell us he had it locked in his desk at work.

[PJ]

Owen,

 

You are a good man. My beliefs are similar, I would stick with a marriage if I had children, out of a sense of duty. This is why I am glad that I discovered Ring's true nature, before the relationship progressed any further.

 

P.J.

[SBS]

Agree with you P.J.