yemmie

Hey everyone, I tried to find the answers to these questions myself, but was not successful. I have written my employment verification letter for my I-134 which I will have my employer sign and date when the time comes. Does this letter need to be notarized? (I hope not) What is the correct address for the consulate in Guangzhou? I know my fiancee will be taking it to the interview in person, but I would like to have the proper address on the letter so that it looks all prim and proper like any good business letter should. Thanks.

My girl is on the fence about it. She loves her name, but is a little afraid that Americans will not accept her as easily if she does not have an American sounding name. I don't think she really needs to worry about it because, where I live there are many people with somewhat foreign sounding names, and most of them were born and raised right here. I prefer her Chinese name; it is beautiful. I either call her by her Chinese name, or I call her Honey, and occasionally Sweetheart. However, if she decides she really wants an English name, she can certainly have one, but I will always call her by her Chinese name.

I have t-mobile. I keep hearing about unlocked. I am quite ignorant. What does this mean? When I have been in China, I have found that the phone does not work well, but I have never unlocked it. It does, of course, have a sim card that came with it when I first got the service. The phone is an old Motorola V-88 (I think). I have no complaints about it as far as using it here in the US, and I have no complaints about T-Mobile in general. But can someone enlighten me in very simple terms what I would have to do to make this phone work well in China, and in an economical way? Thanks. In simple terms, when a phone is unlocked you can take the sim card in out and put a different one in it that is from a different provider and have it work. The issue I think you are having though is the age of the phone. Some of the older phones will not work in the same places as the newer ones will or just barely work. What you could do is buy an unlocked Tri-band or Quad-band gsm phone and put your T-Mobile sim card in it and then buy a sim card while in China that has a local number. Actually, my phone is supposed to be a quad band gsm phone. I remember because, when I got it, I spoke to the service rep for T-Mobile and specified that I wanted the phone to work both in America and in mainland China. Then, I remember vaguely some discussion about unlocking the phone. I think the rep said they would not unlock it for me for one year. That was three years ago. I just never followed up on it,. Then, when you wrote about the quad band gsm phone, it jogged my memory. So now, I guess I could call T-Mobile and ask them to unlock the phone. Once unlocked, does that mean that I could take out the American sim card while in China, put in a Chinese sim card for use over there, then take the Chinese card out when I return to America so I can use it here again. If I am right, then my next question is about payment for use in China. Do I buy prepaid minutes, or do I have to subscribe to an ongoing plan of some kind.

I have t-mobile. I keep hearing about unlocked. I am quite ignorant. What does this mean? When I have been in China, I have found that the phone does not work well, but I have never unlocked it. It does, of course, have a sim card that came with it when I first got the service. The phone is an old Motorola V-88 (I think). I have no complaints about it as far as using it here in the US, and I have no complaints about T-Mobile in general. But can someone enlighten me in very simple terms what I would have to do to make this phone work well in China, and in an economical way? Thanks.

Hi Griz, yeah, for what it's worth, I'd say, go with what your girl says.

Thanks Roger. I'm sure your comments will reassure all of us who are just beginning this process and renew the hop of those who have had to wait so long.

Wonderful news. I'm very happy for you. Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and many many more.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I studied with RS for a while. One day when we were talking on MSN, I proudly spoke a couple pf sentences in Chinese. My girl looked at me like I was crazy, and she had no idea what I was talking about. I thought I was reproducing the sounds accurately. Nope.

Wow! I might have to look into Pimsleur. I bought RS and I used it for a while, but unfortunately, the time I can spend on it is very limited because I am teaching my girl English on Computer every day, and I also have to study new things for my work a lot of the time too. I did find emmersion a good thing, but I was also frustrated by it because I often wanted to learn how to say specific things in Chinese and the sequencing for RS is set in stone (no pun intended). You can't learn the words and sentences you want to learn. I have found that I must be able to see each word in Pinyin and must hear its pronunciation. Is there an English programme for Pimsleur. I was thinking that I might want to get RS for English for my girl when she comes to America so she can study it some at home when I am working. Of course, I will get her into some ESL classes too. If Pemsleur has an English programme that is better, I would get that instead.

That is so great. Merry Christmas to you and you loved one, and may you have a long and happy life together.

OK, now I really feel stupid. How do I post my timeline? I looked at every place I can find on this site and I didn't see any way to do it. So, then I was going to try to simply manually construct it here by changing font sizes, colors, etc., but I could not see any difference when I selected different sizes. Sometimes I really have to wonder about myself. Help!!!!!!

Thank you all. This is the best site with the best bunch of people.

Hi Everyone. I just mailed off my I-129F petition yesterday. Thanks to everyone for all of the descriptions of how they put their packages together. I found them very helpful. I would say that mine is sort of a hybrid. Now I just need to figure out how to post my time line here. Unfortunately, I don't have time right now to try to do it. I will try to do so later on today or tomorrow.

My girl is from Xiangfan, Hubei, so yes, she is from a big city. Also, thank you toplaw for your information about teaching yoga, and your other comments as well. Actually, I had already thought about the licensing issue too. I figured we would wait and see 1. if the place she teaches covers her, or 2. how expensive it would be to carry our own insurance. Compatibility - Yes, ultimately, you are right. If we are truly compatible, then the cultural differences will be overcome. That is what my thread was/is all about, trying to separate the two so I can know what to do.

Hi Everyone, I apologize for posting this in more than one place. I posted it in the contacts section because I already had met a few members there and we happened to start talking about this there, but I am submitting it here too in order to reach more members. I am almost ready to file my I-129F, G-325A, etc. I have almost all of the documents now, but I am still getting answers to a few questions from my girl. After reading a number of posts, I was leaning in the direction of simply doing all of this myself (very carefully), but when I told my fiancee my intention, she became terrified. She is scared to death that her son will not be allowed to come. I have tried to reassure her, but she still is very frightened. So, now I am thinking that I need to find someone to help me with this (while I keep a close eye on how they are doing it). My girl and I have already had some very heated arguments over money. I fear if I am unwilling to pay for help, then she will see that as proof that I am cheap, that I love money more than I love her, and that I am not too concerned about her son. Has anyone here heard of Roger Lin (offices in Nanning and Shanghai)? I recall reading a post somewhere by someone who was very impressed with him, but now I can't find the post. I like the idea of having someone there on the ground in China who can speak fluent Chinese, and who can help my girl with document gathering and filling out of forms. This would be particularly helpful with the Guangzhou part of this process. My girl is scared to death of all the various forms she has to try to deal with, and equally frightened of the interview. I have tried to calm her, and have tried to ask her questions to get all of the proper information for the I-129F, G-325A, etc., but she just doesn't understand what I am asking her, and sometimes why I am asking her things. I keep telling her it is because the American government wants to know. She says, "But in China...." Then I remind her that we are trying to bring her and her son to America, not China, so we must do everything we are asked to do. So, with all of this in mind, I emailed Mr. Lin a few days ago to request a little more information about his services, but I have not received an answer. Now, I am wondering if something happened and he did not receive my email, or if he is not very responsive when you need help. Thanks to everyone here for any help you can give me.

I have one comment to make: Don't get tangled in the argument: if you don't listen to me, you don't love me. It would be difficult to get out of it. How do you avoid it or reply to that line ? Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and encouragement. If I were dealing with an American woman, I would have already ended our relationship by now. As it is, after reading all of the posts others have written to me on the various sites, I now feel that a lot of our difficulties are being driven by the cultural differences, some more by the fact that men and women in any culture are different, and some by the fact that she just is more driven and more materially ambitious than I am. Add to that the lack of understanding of how far American dollars go in America compared to converted American dollars spent in China, and I'm sure my girl has a hard time understanding why I am being so careful (stingy). But at the end of the day after talking more about this, I feel more strongly that she is sincere in her feelings for me. Certainly I feel better about it than I did a few days ago. So, though I still feel just a little cautious, I find my trust in her is returning. I think we are in for a rough ride, but I think it can have a happy ending for us if we both are willing to try to understand each other and maybe compromise a little too. I know we still we need to talk and talk and talk, but I think there is more hope now. Yesterday, one thing really struck me when we were discussing these issues. I told her that I would only say no to her when I felt it was really necessary. At that moment she looked as though I meant she will never have any say, and I will always control everything and always say no. But then I added that, after we were married, I would not spend a lot of money on big things if she did not agree that what I wanted to spend it on was a good idea either. She really seemed surprised. I think she had always thought that I felt that my money is my money, period. Not so, it will be our money, and that means we both must agree on how it is spent. After I told her this, we ran out of time because I had to go to work. I hope that I did not read her reaction wrongly. I hope that she truly is beginning to understand that what I do or don't do is for us, not for me, and that I really do value her opinion and I really want our marriage to be a partnership. So, wish us luck. I hope you won't mind if I continue to talk about this and other issues here. I find that all the imput I receive from the nice people here really helps. I hope that I can help others here as well.

Hi All, I have been wrestling with this problem for some time and I was hoping that someone can help me understand my girl a little better. We are now in the gathering documents and filling out forms stage of a fiancee visa to bring her and her son to America. I have nearly everything I need now to begin the process. I just came home from my third visit to her. For the most part, we get along very well. Our one biggest problem is disagreements over money. I am not rich, but I am not poor either. I have a good paying job, some savings in the bank, and some investments that are growing slowly. I have tried to explain my financial circumstances thoroughly and accurately on more than one occasion, but I'm still not sure she really gets it. My girl had, at one time been a fairly successful businesswoman in China, but her business has faltered. Now, she has big dreams of studying international business in America, eventually opening an international import-export business in America and China, and becoming rich. Meanwhile, she has also been playing the stock market in China. I have agreed to help pay for hers and her son's education when they come here. And, although I don't really care about getting rich, I have said that I would be willing to try to help us do so if that is what she wants. She says she loves me and wants to come to America, but she is also worried that I will always say no to her on issues of money and will tire of her after she comes here and will throw her out. Hence, she has been trying very hard to find a way to become financially solvent before she comes here. She is going to school shortly to study yoga instruction. When she completes her course, she will have a certificate that allows her to teach in both China and America. I have given her a little money two times already, once to prop up her business, the other to study yoga. And I have not been tight with money during my visits. Now, she wants me to give her more to invest in the Chinese stock market. She insists that she can double our money in one year. For the most part, I believe she is sincere, but, even if she is, I am reluctant to risk more money because I feel we may need it to help to bring her and her son here and to live on, educate, etc. I am not sure that we will be able to spend the money we make from the stock market in China here in America (i.e. the Chinese government will allow the money to be taken out). Also, nothing is foolproof. I worry that the market could go sour. She insists that there is no risk, that she can make money this way. She says I love money more than her. I now worry that maybe she loves money more than me. So now, I am trying to put all of this in perspective. I can understand how she might be afraid to leave China and come to a strange land and become totally dependent on me for a while, but she sounds as though she wants to instantly step into wealth without having to work for it. I love this woman, but I am not a big big risk taker, and I sometimes feel that I am becoming a big disappointment to her. Please help me put all of this in perspective. Is this just an example of Chinese pragmatism - wanting to bas marriage on love + a solid financial foundation - or is something ugly happening here? Thanks