Greg.D.

Thanks, Randy, I'll use one of the above for US ordering, China delivery. I would have pulled the trigger by now but I lost the pic of her office building that had the building number in it .... I am trying to trick her into telling me right now so I can surprise her ... Maybe I can use google street view, Greg

I am in the U.S. and my fiance is in Beijing. I have looked sometimes at the possibility of ordering something online to send to her - it seemed limited and expensive. Given that it is soon "Valentine's Day" - I could probably overlook the expensive part if there was a way to surprise her with something nice. Can anybody recommend or recommend against online gift ordering (from here to be delivered in the U.S.? I am pretty confident about the delivery happening this Friday - but I don't see much options other than a gift basket. Oh, I think I've seen flowers before. Thanks for any suggestions, Greg

First, I want to say that this has been a great thread. By that I mean, it seems to have brought out the best in everybody in that, where other threads meander off topic, get hijacked, become injected with humor where it's not required - or vice versa! - people are posting heartfelt and intelligent comments about the matters that are at the crux of a relationship. And, it's been a great read. My hat's off to moondog for returning and participating. I gave my comments earlier in the thread and I offer another one here: Moondog, you seem reasonable and, consistent with my first comment that you would regret breaking relationships you have for her sake (i.e. don't), I suggest you ask her to trust you. I say this to give you the confidence that you are taking the right line in this discussion, you are reasonable by our culture, and part of this early test is to ask her to trust you for now. I don't think anyone has ever said in the history of this forum or others like it that an American man (or woman) can hold the line with regards to, for instance, denying the future spouse's relationship with her parents. We all feel it is "Different Cultures 101" that our spouses from another culture likely intend to include their parents in their future life. We say here "marry the woman, marry her family". We are proud that we understand this and stand by it. I think what you are expecting from her here is similar and equivalent and extraordinary feelings are pushing her in the direction she is taking (for now). Maybe we can suggest a movie that illustrates the western concept of the ever-extending family as divorces, deaths, accidents and life happen. Gently find ways for her to imagine different outcomes. I like that we don't cut off exes and ex-step children. Sure, sometimes it is messy, but I think it works. I liked what Catherine Li said about this being the time to test everything you can now - after the marriage, only work together and for positive outcomes. Or, something like that! Good luck! Greg

I re-read everything - esp since two of you guys had the same reaction to what I wrote. I still argue that the op-ed writer (the NY based writer wrote "...the US charged five Chinese military officers with cyber spying.") - or his editors (GlobalTimes) chose to portray the US legal charges and arrest warrants against the 5 PLA guys as about "spying" and not "theft". In the end, it was not the central thesis of his piece - just that, whether it is one thing or another - something could case further stereotyped aspersions against ethnic Chinese in the United States. Back to protecting yourself against hackers: I believe they thought they had - I, too, always imagine that a company should totally sandbox their most valuable proprietary information. So, why does this happen? I mean, they do put up many kinds of security defenses - and the people in question went to extraordinary and illegal means to circumvent them. So, on the one hand, it must be very difficult if not impossible. I know: pull the ethernet cable out of machine; remove the CD-writer, disable the USB ports .... I will still argue (in agreement with many others) that China is #1 in the world (accounting for 41% of all cyber attacks) and, of course, tries to hide what they do (U.S. is #2 for origin of attacks accounting for 10%). I see today that China has even lifted important Israeli tech (Chinese hackers steal Israel’s Iron Dome missile data). So, I will agree with you two that all companies should do much more to protect their IP and secrets, and there is also a problem of how to live and do business with a government that, in addition to the usual political spying, will use any means to compete with you in business. Greg From the above link: "Although the Chinese government vehemently denies any involvement in international hacking, this massive increase in hack attacks must have government backing. A sophisticated hacker network has been uncovered in China, some of whose members are associated with the Chinese military and intelligence agencies. In the last 5 years China has made industrial scale hacking an integral part of its economic policy. They are trying to hack their way into every major corporation in the U.S.A., Europe and Asia. Their goal is to become the world’s largest economy, and if stealing data by the terabyte will get them there, then that stealing is he way they will go."

Blame the victim. Good job. Nobody has done it on a scale that the PLA has in the last 10 years. Are you defending them? Greg

This is BS. The U.S. wasn't charging them with "spying" so much as STEALING proprietary, technical trade secrets. Since the tone of the piece was "hey, everybody spies", it confounds spying with stealing. Because the stealing was world-class robbery and probably the subject of discussion between our diplomatic corps - and unrelenting - it finally was made public. I believe Xi is the head of a department (can't think of the name, he heads several) that has final authority on these matters, the U.S. president personally talked to him about it. So, yes, a disingenuous thesis in the global times piece. Greg

Good news for the realtors!

One other comment: divorce is often final and all-severing in China. Some marriages are even that way: the husband abandons the wife and lives with his girlfriend without bothering with a divorce. Maybe your fiancé took comfort, when you told her that you were divorced, that you had severed all connections - which was only an assumption. So her learning about the reality was a little shocking. Relationships with the "ex" stepchildren is very common here. Maybe if she's had some time to absorb that and hear some first hand accounts of successful co-existence she might accept the situation. I doubt this would be the last misunderstanding you two would have. Greg

Just a few comments: it is the Chinese culture that accepts opposite sex friendships, not so much ours. Then, tangled connections of uncles, aunts, sisters, etc are so common in China - a bit like you and your ex-step daughters. I doubt it is affection she worries about so much as potential financial liabilities. But I too bow to others' experience and insight on that topic. Lastly: no, don't give up these relationships. I guarantee that, should you ever get divorced, this severing of your pre-existing relationships is one of the things that will gnaw at you the most. Find a way to hear what truly bothers her and see if it can't be overcome. My free advice, Greg

The WeChat Mac client is good. And, in another post, I detailed how to recover the content of your chat if you I need it for evidence purposes. In short, you extract it from the iPxx WeChat app backup on your computer. Greg

Husi Food Co. Is a private, American company. But I question that they can function in China without forming a partnership with locals. I feel strongly this is a singling-out of foreign companies for propaganda purposes, very common. Still, no matter who was responsible for SOPs being ignored, the parent company is to blame because such shortcuts and transgressions should have been predicted and expected. Without a doubt. This is why I buy raw food and cook it myself, Greg

You will notice - I hope - that American men are more involved in child raising in the U.S. than in some other countries. It wasn't always true and it varies from family to family. But we "are crazy about" our kids! Greg

Oh, I get it: "pit" -> -> -> "cave"

King Soopers is the grocery store. Somehow, next to the King Soopers, there is a parking lot and people were "camping" there. The woman who owned the pit bull was not a Rainbow person; people are saying she was a drug addict - probably from looking at her health. And, she owns a pit bull. The commenters also say that serious drug users will keep a pit bull dog to protect the owner (people) from other drug users - as many of them are poor and steal from each other. You ask about caves?? Uhhh ... no caves. Do not know why you ask this question. The pit bull dog is illegal in that city and also in Denver. Some pit bull dogs are very nice and gentle. Many are vicious. Hope this helps! Greg

I believe this rig is their first wholly, Chinese-built offshore platform - so, it is also a test of its functionality - and this operation was exploratory. And, for sure, there is bad weather there off of the Phillipines. So, RW, do you think this is an opportunity to reduce the tensions? And/or, do you think the rig will return? Greg

I believe this rig is their first wholly, Chinese-built offshore platform - so, it is also a test of its functionality - and this operation was exploratory. And, for sure, there is bad weather there off of the Phillipines.

The wok is lonely without a big metal spoon/utensil for stirring and moving the food around. After I found the Chinese grocery, I realized it was the best place to buy a non-coated wok with the tool I mentioned above - plus tongs for grabbing things in the wok; plus metal bowls and other bowls for holding food before and after cooking - I mean, guys, if you are in China, watch the cooks cook and make note of the things they use the most. I also got an excellent (made in Viet Nam) cleaver with a rosewood handle for about $8. Cutting boards, of course, peanut oil, chiles, etc etc - but probably leave those choices to the cook. At Big5 sporting goods store I got a butane-fueled stove for about $20-25 that is used for hot-pot on the table. Hot-pot calls for ladles. Small bowls for dipping sauces, these things will be at a good Asian grocery. So, that's my hardware suggestions .... Greg p.s. I sort of cured the wok in the oven first to burn off the industrial oil but also to try to bake on some cooking oil. I treat cast-iron that way - but my girlfriend believes in washing the wok after use - so, maybe I am wrong about keeping a wok in ready condition. I would love to hear your suggestions, Joecy

Rainbow family in the news in Denver: Family of boy mauled by pit bull part of houseless Rainbow Family "You hungry, man?" said Harris, giving him a cigarette, then pointing to his van on the edge of the parking lot. "We got apples and everything. We can definitely give you some free food." Harris, 35, is the uncle of the child who was mauled by the pit bull in the King Soopers parking lot. His road name is Gator, and he runs Gatorbites Kitchen out of his Chevy van, with the goal of feeding one million hungry people across the country. He calls his campaign HOPE, for Help Other People Eat. So far, he says, he's fed about 609,000 since he joined the nomadic culture known as the Travelers, driving to gatherings of the Rainbow Family, criss-crossing the country from Utah and Indiana to Kentucky and Colorado. Since the 1970s, the Rainbow Family has been known for its philosophy of peace and love, and Harris says that's his mission.

China is participating in the RIMPAC operations right now near .... either Hawaii or SoCal - which I think is a great thing. On the one hand, I think if they really want to pursue their extraordinary claim, they are going to have to fight for it - which would truly produce no winners. (Plenty of unexpected bitterness to go around) Ratcheting public sentiment against the Japanese is one thing, but their activities in 2014 are definitely provocative - we can't even hope for a diplomatic, face-saving stalemate since they'll be drilling for oil now. I don't think the generals and commanders come away from the RIMPAC exercise all jacked up and ready to enforce a military solution in a legal dispute. It will be interesting.

Ha, ha! Surreal, like Gabriel Garcia Marquez (or Mo Yan, if you will). Yes, good "up-take" of the words billow, and flue! Barbecuing your arm muscle will win you fans you probably don't want. "Hey, guess what?" or "Well, what do you know?" are similar expressions "The cooking did not start yet" -- [E D I T ] - - > " I had not yet begun to cook"

I'll try: 1. the flue is inside the chimney. It is the path that the smoke travels in. The chimney is made out of bricks, etc. the flue really means the inside part. 2. We often say "smoke billows" - in your case, the smoke is "backing up" into your cooking area. I cooked over wood fires a long time - when the chimney/flue is cold, the air comes down. I had to get some smoke to go up and start to warm the air in the stove pipe - then the air and smoke will begin to move in the direction I want (up and out). Using the cardboard or fan? Uhhh .. We would blow (with our mouth) on embers or coals or smoking pieces to add oxygen and start a flame instead of leaving it to "smolder". I don't think cardboard or a fan gets the smoke to go up - but it gets the fire to burn and burn better and burn hotter - then the smoke will start to go up and out. 3. The room "gets smokey" The room becomes/became "smoke-filled" The room "fills with smoke" or "filled with smoke" 4. Hand-held fans: yeh, they're an older thing, not so common 5. Is really pretty funny sounding! I think you want to say something like "all those years during which I was cooking over the fire I was slowly barbecuing myself as well" - or something like that! I hate to "put words in your mouth" Greg

I was traveling last Wednesday (July 9, 2014) to Beijing and was passing through the Seattle airport. I had about 1000 rmb's with me and thought, since I had some time, I could buy a bunch more in the Seattle airport, in the S gates area where my Hainan Airlines flight was departing. I noticed the Foreign Exchange booth was not posting their rates so I had to ask how many yuan she would give me per dollar. She said 5.3. I had a general idea it should be over 6 so said "wow" and kept my dollars. I just got into an ICBC here near my hotel today and got 6.145 per dollar. Maybe most of you know better (I think I usually change in the target country) but I post this here for some searchable content: if you can, buy most of your yuan in China. I traded 800 USD today; had I done so in Seattle, I would have lost 676 rmb. I'll try an ATM next. Greg

#6 seems a little dated but the others are good. I appreciate this summary of traits or aspirations because it defines vanishing character and Arete. Greg

At least the west and China agree about the dangers of contemporary nationalistic sentiment by the ruling government in Japan ... This part is weird, where the GlobalTimes claims China is peaceful but powerful, but will lose its strength if internal unity (ha ha: differing opinions) is lost, etc etc. Wait: using the specter of an foreign bogeyman to stir up national pride, reinforce party legitimacy, quench internal debate ... this is familiar! After 77 years, China has found its turning point and reemerged as a powerful country in East Asia. It has made up for falling behind during the period of global post-war modernization. China has been in an ever-peaceful and prosperous state. Meanwhile, it bears high strategic pressure in the face of its rejuvenation. International competition is awaiting us, and internal unity is a source of national strength. China has come a long way, while strategically, we cannot afford to sit idle. However, nowadays many Chinese young people are in a confused state. This makes us realize that modernization and economic prosperity do not mean we have reached the same level of spiritual development. In the future, we need to enhance our capabilities to ensure there will be no threat of war or chaos. For a country with 1.3 billion people, this is a challenge.

I lived in Tucson a long time and my experience was that the significant number of people showing up impacted many things, one being the ability to build a middle class - much less a Mexican middle class. That is to say, wages for many classes of work remained flat flat flat. Another observation is that despite whatever news bites that got served up across the country (and world), people from all over the political spectrum opened their hearts when they encountered a crosser. I know I would see them occasionally when I lived on our horse property outside of Tucson - I mean, by the time they are up there (75 miles form the border) that's a world class hike. Even the infamous "Minute Men" down in the border towns like Douglas, despite their swagger and tricked out attire, always treated crossers with respect and gave them water, etc. This is a huge generalization - which should probably be a no-no on a site like this - but Mexicans are maybe the world's friendliest people. Most of my neighbors here in Denver are Mexican (as in severely English-challenged) and everything is cool. Greg