robhon

Okay, here's my report.... Didn't hear back from Barbara Lee, nor from Dianne Feinstein, nor from the freind who's supposed to be helping find out about DOS stuff. My lawyer never called back (and is WAY fired). But, thank you donahso, I managed to get in contact with someone in the American Citizen Services Unit of the Chengdu consulate. It took about twelve phone calls to get through and then the connection was terrible. But I did get through. The woman was VERY helpful. She said, "If the government person calls again ask him exactly what kind of document he needs and we will prepare it for you. But we need to know what to prepare." She said my wife can call and give them the information. I also asked what I need to do after the baby is born. She asked if I was a US citizen, I said yes. She said, "Oh, it's easy then! Just go to any US consulate with the baby. Both parents must be present and you need to each have a passport and you need the baby's birth certificate." She said they'd give the baby a passport right then and there. I asked if there was a time period within which I need to do this. She said, no, it's completely open-ended. I said, "So if I wait 4 or 5 weeks until the baby is a little bigger, that's okay?" She said, yes. (And why was it no one at my attorney's office was able to tell me this???) Then I called my wife again. Seems in the meantime her father's been busy behind the scenes. He's a contractor in Hechuan and, as my wife said, "He went to talk to some of his friends." I know he knows a lot of people there. (There were certainly a lot of people at our wedding, that's for sure!) According to my wife, he took care of everything and there shouldn't be any problem. I asked my wife if he had to pay any money to anyone. She said, "Oh, I don't know!" I said if he did I'll pay him back. She said not to worry. I still feel a little shell-shocked over this whole event. It's kind of like I've made it half way through the mine field. Just need to get through the rest of it. Not until the baby is born I will feel completely safe and happy. Next, I'm sending a fax to my attorney to fire her and request that she itemize the work their office has performed, charge me for that, and return to me the remaining funds.

It's SO true!! They advertise free bus transportation from SF to Reno and Vegas on the local Chinese radio stations.

Thanks R2... Thanks everyone... She's on her way to Chongqing Saturday. I have faxes and emails into GZ and the Chengdu consulate (Chongqing doesn't seem to have one). I'm going to call Chengdu when they open in a few hours. I have messages into Rep Barbara Lee's office and Sen Dianne Feinstein's office. I've left another message with a friend who's been helping to find out what's going on inside the DOS with our case... And my lawyer BETTER be taking some action today. I'm hoping just getting her out of Hechuan will take care of the problem, as people have suggested. My wife even seemed to think this would be the solution. But I also don't want to let my guard down.

I gotta say, it's just a little difficult to be calm when someone has made a direct threat against the life of my child. Once you see the sparkle in your wife's eyes and you hear that little baby's heartbeat chugging away... the world changes.

Thank you, Sir Owen, Knight of the Northern Realm, Champion of Justice and Slayer of Ignorance. Your information is every bit as great as your title! Myself, this morning, I am about ready to slay one legal assistant. This stupid bozo's response to my situation was this, "Well, that's kind of outside our realm of expertise. I mean, how can you prove a negative (that I have no other children)." I tongue lashed the boy and told him that I hadn't paid them several thousand dollars to be a service to file papers. I can pay $400 for that. I paid for a lawyer and they'd better start coming up with some options for me in this matter. If they don't get back to me today I'm going to be suing one immigration law firm. And this, after having defended the use of a lawyer on this site on several occasions. I mean, this situation is exactly the reason I hired a lawyer!! Countdown to firing the lawyer is T-minus 7 hrs. I'm giving her a 6pm deadline.

I want to make sure this is clear in this thread. We are already married. Last year, Nov.

Thanks for all the advice, gang! I'm sure we'll get through this one way or another. The marriage thing is a non-issue. We were married in CQ in Nov '02. I've given my wife a few instructions like getting a tape recording of this person if they call back, as I'm sure we'll need proof at some point. I also told her, if this person becomes aggressive about the issue, she should immediately fly to Shenzhen and I'll come meet her at the hotel where we stayed before. She seems pretty confident that going to CQ will fix the problem. Out of the guy's jurisdiction, I guess. But I'm not taking any chances on this. In terms of trying to provide documentation, I will put together a document and get it notorized but I have the feeling that's not what he really wants. For this to come up at all there has to be something else going on. He either wants money or he's maybe seen me and Youyue happily strolling along hand-in-hand in Hechuan and it pissed him off. I have run into a couple of people in China who flat out hate Americans. Maybe he's one of them. When someone goes so far as to threaten the life of a baby I'm just not sure that anything will satisfy them. Gonna be a big day!

One of the things that concerns me most is that, so far my wife hasn't said that they asked for any money. We even discussed some things I've heard about what people in China pay the government to have a second or third child.

I'm going to be very busy here for a while. I'm going to be calling and emailing everone on the planet. Last time I contacted GZ they just said that they don't have my case yet. It's still at NVC. But, hell, if this continues at all I'm flying over there, taking her down the consulate myself and applying for assylum. I've told her to go out immediately and buy a tape recorder. If this person calls again I want evidence of what is said. Regardless of whether this government person is serious or not, I have to take this as a threat against our childs life. I have no option to do otherwise.

Just got off the phone with my wife and she's a bit freaked out, and for good reason. Some government person called her parents house saying that Youyue needs to provide documentation that the father of the child has no other children. This person said if she can't provide this information she will lose the baby (as in, terminate the pregnancy). As you can well guess I'm a bit flipped out over this prospect at the moment. Youyue seems fairly calm about it because she thinks after she goes back to Chongqing on Sunday to stay with her aunt everything will be okay (her parents live in Hechuan, 45 mins north). Apparently her mother was yelling at this government person on the phone saying things like, "But she's more than 8 months pregnant!" and "The father is in America, how can we provide such documents?" And I told her, "We don't have a one baby rule in America so there's no such document that would say that I DON'T have other children." This is just crazy! Hell, maybe it's just some lunatic who thinks they can extort some money out of the situation. I contacted my lawyer last week to find out what I'm supposed to do about the baby being born in China and she's yet to find out. Tomorrow she's getting an earful.

You just made my day, enight! An engagement puppy...

That's interesting. I remember we had this very nice family dinner out after Youyue and I announced that we were going to marry. It's a good thing to remember. Pretty much, if you don't know what the occasion calls for, it's usually going to be food related. I'm told the next big one I have to foot the bill for will be the baby's party that comes a month or so after the birth. That's supposed to be a big one, on par with the wedding. Americans say, "How's the weather?" Chinese say, "Have you eaten?"

From my experience with Chinese women (I own a company that is about 70% Chinese women) my first reaction to your first statement is, just because she's reluctant to discuss it DOES NOT mean she doesn't want one. In fact, the opposite is just as likely to be true. I think it's very Chinese to be very deferring when it comes to receiving gifts. The larger the gift, the more deferring the response. With my wife, we had that conversation. I said I noticed that not many Chinese married women wore wedding rings and I was wondering if she would like to exchange rings. Of course she said, "No." Later, as I was pondering the exchange, I thought to myself, "If she really didn't want a ring she would have discussed the topic more easily and freely." But her response was very short and then she didn't want to talk about it. That made me decide she REALLY DID want a ring. On my next trip I arrived with a beautiful ring which she totally adores. In fact, she's kind of annoyed right now because she's put on some fat from being pregnant and can't wear the ring. In America we get used to accepting people at the actual words they use (i.e., "Would you like a Coke?"... "No, I wouldn't" ...just doesn't mean the same in China. In China you end up with a Coke.). I suggest you don't listen to the words. Listen what's behind the words. As for Chinese engagement customs, you got me there. I don't know. For what its worth, that your honey is reluctant to discuss it is a good sign that you've met a very sweet woman.

I'M lookin' for directions to the party where HE is! Fire up another stoggie and deal me in!!

Yeah, but enight only put 5 candles on the cake!

I don't know.... I'm still kind of enjoying the idea of the new bride with an ever so slight lean to the left due to the size of the ring. To hell with color and quality, get that lean to the left going!!

I think enight likes this topic!

Actually, I believe it was something times the guy's "monthly" salary. So, if you're bringing in $4K/month you're supposed to spend some multiple of that. $8K or $12K... I can't remember. It's just a formula I've heard people discuss. In some circles I think it's taken quite seriously. Like, a representation of how successful the man was in his marrying years.

I've heard people quote things like, the cost of the diamond's value is "suppose" to be equal to X times your monthly salary (don't know the number). It's a bunch'a BS, if you ask me. I think what's most important is to find that balance that makes you both most happy and comfortable. Could be a rock that makes you're sweetie list to the port side. Could be no ring at all.

I got a .61 ct for my wife. Not too big and not too small. She loved it! We had sizing issues also, but the jewler was perfectly happy to change the setting at no charge. The funny part is, after she got pregnant and started putting on a little weight she couldn't wear the ring any more. She desperately wants to wear it but it'll just have to wait until a while after the baby's born. Small sacrifice for the wee one.

I've always flown United to China but once got bumped onto a return flight via China Airlines. At the time I remember feeling a little startled at the difference. I remember on the takeoff rotation the whole plane (B747) shaking like 8.2 earthquake. I was toward the front of the aircraft in business class and it's always a little worse there on rotation but this was worse than I've ever experienced. And I've flown a lot of B747's, coach, business and first. It was also not the best service nor the cleanest plane I've been on. On par, though, with the domestic Chinese flights I've taken on China SW, Sichuan Airways, Shenzhen Airways, etc. I'm probably a little partial to United since they're my local airline here in SF. Plus, I have tons of FF miles with them. If you're ever looking for quality and comfort of the flight try to get on a B777. I know United flies them to Beijing. It's a great plane!

Shoot! But it's already tomorrow in China.

Hmmmm... Aren't those Siamese fighting fish?

Sandy, The secret is to get nice 'n close and fully even with the parked car in front of the space where you're trying to park. Cut it nice and sharp to the right. Then straight back. Then cut it nice and sharp back to the left. Perfect! Works every time.

Thanks Mick!!