Rakkasan

I agree with helping your SO defray costs for obtaining a visa or other costs for maintaining a relationship. My SO has yet to ask me for a penny. She has however, offered to buy me warm clothing when I come to visit if I am in need of a coat, etc. I know she is paying someone to translate our emails until she gets better at English. I also know she pays at the internet cafe whenever we get together by webcam, plus the cost of regular mail, phone calls and English classes. She works hard at night with her own business and may be to proud to ask me for help. I will help when asked and after I visit in February she may feel more comfortable asking. But I do believe we have an obligation to take care of our SO's and will gladly help in whatever way I can when asked. Of course I am not sure what the best way for getting money to her would be, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. As far as the original post on this thread is concerned.... If she is asking for more money just to keep up with the Jone's (her girlfriends) Then I think the motivation is wrong and she is not trying to benefit the relationship, but rather herself or worse ego. You can get that kind of relationship right here in the good ol' USA without the frequent flyer miles. THIS IS A RED FLAG FOR ME!!!

I have a question concerning K1's. One of the responses in this thread stated "I assume you are not a member of the communist party and that neither of you have a previous divorce so those blue slips are out as well." How critical is divorce issue from either side? Both of us are divorced. It is not that my EX hates me so much as she wishes for my death or that I simply fall off the face of the earth. If the K1 hinges on her responding to anything from the Department of State.. then I am screwed. As far as my SO, she is also divorced, I am not sure what her relationship with her EX is. Can someone elaborate on this subject. Thanks in advance

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Here is your Happy Dance.... http://members.aol.com/rakkasan01/dancing.gif http://members.aol.com/rakkasan01/dancing.gifhttp://members.aol.com/rakkasan01/dancing.gifhttp://members.aol.com/rakkasan01/dancing.gifhttp://members.aol.com/rakkasan01/dancing.gifhttp://members.aol.com/rakkasan01/dancing.gifhttp://members.aol.com/rakkasan01/dancing.gif

Thanks to all who have responded so far. It seems by the responses that the K1 is the way to go. Having her here sooner will be great and approximately 90 days to get SS and work permit will allow her to better perfect her English. Of course the downside would be that English might get perfected while I'm at work with her watching Jerry Springer and Oprah I guess if I come home from work and she is waving a NOW membership application, blaming me for all the world problems and chanting JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! I will know that she has assimilated and I am in deep trouble. LOL

Sorry to hear about the outcome of the interview. One thing that came out of a nasty divorce is I document everything now. As a suggestion, I use Yahoo with web cam to talk to my SO. When I have the messenger window open and we are talking, I go to File > Save every few minutes and first save the file as "Zhen IM mm-dd-yy", then re-save with the same name and answer yes to writing over the file with each additional save. I can print these or place them on a CD if needed. Also, Zhen wears basically a different outfit each time we use the webcam. I open a graphics program (paint shop Pro 6) and several times during or talk I will make the web cam window the active window, hit the Alt+PrtScn buttons, then goto the graphic program and hit Ctrl V to paste the image and save it with the same name and date I use for the IM. This way they will be able to see proof of our conversations as well as her presence on the web cam for that date. I hope this will help you or others in the future. Additionally, you will notice that I don't bother to crop the image. I leave the Yahoo window and advertising in place and more importantly the time stamp (which if anyone wants to get picky about will match with the general time shown on the last text file save.) http://altairdigital.com/sample.jpg

OK.. here goes, It is my understanding that getting married in China and applying for a K3 will take 12 to 24 months if the world is spinning in greased groves. I also gather that a K1 is a faster means of getting a SO here, 6 to 9 months, but after arrival at can take up to 24 months to get a green card for her to be able to get a job. Question #1 Is my understanding of the timelines correct or at least in the ballpark? Question #2 If I go the K1 route is there anyway SO can work legally prior to the green card issuance, perhaps there is such a thing as a interim green card (maybe a lighter shade of green) Question #3 I guess my big question is a need for fatherly (CFL) advice.... what is the best way to go based on the CFL members experience? K1 or K3? I know we both would both like to spend more time together before getting married and the K1 fiance visa would facilitate that, but I also know she is independant and would not like to sit for 24 months without working. I am not well off, but I can support us without her working without much difficulty. I think it is more a matter of pride for her and not wanting to be thought of as lazy by not working or contributing financially. Thanks in advance, Also thanks to Frank and others who have responded privately to my prior posts. I have found someone through a friend at work who will hand deliver my visa request to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago, thus saving me a long drive or reliance on the postal system.

I have been reading the mountain of info on visa's etc. Am I understanding this correctly, that if I would like my SO to come here faster I should plan on getting married in the US and do so within 90 of her arrival by way of a K1 visa? Now she must gather certain paperwork for an interview in order to get the fiance visa. What kind of paperwork and what is asked at this interview? Is this interview with US officials? What is required by the Chinese government? surely shemust need a visa or something in order to leave the PRC. Next, she should apply for permanent resident status within 90 days after the marriage in the US? Now that I have publicly displayed my ignorance of the process would someone set me straight step by step as to what really happens? That being said how do Chinese parents handle their daughter coming to the US and getting married here, albeit a second time around? Thanks in advance The Rak

How difficult is it for Chinese women to get a tourist visa to come to the US? Has anyone had any experience with this? Thanks in advance The Rak

Does anyone know how to get Simplified characters to display in Yahoo Messenger or perhaps one of teh other messenger programs like MSN or AIM? My SO has a translator that can send me these character in her Yahoo messenger but it is part of her business software. I am hoping to be able to save her some money in translator expenses by being able to translate on my end. I have a free program / web site that will do that job, but when I copy / paste into Yahoo Messenger nothing displays for me or her. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks The Rak

Thank you everyone for your replies. As for some of the questions asked: 1) She lives in Nanning and has just moved out an apartment that she owns and back into her parents home. She has a Food stand in the street market and felt home was a better place to be in order to be able to prepare all the food needed. 2) She is 31 y/o and has been married before with no children. 3) When I asked her about public displays of affection ,she stated she looks forward to holding hands in public and would kiss me on the cheek, but not in front of her parents. (This protocall is being tatoo'd on my arm as a reminder of how to act in front of her parnets. lol) 4) When Isuggested hiring a translator for us during my first trip, she said we would use a dictionary, translator machine or sing language because she didn't want a translator to "break our couples world". I take this as a good sign, but maybe she just doesn't want to hit me with a mop in front of a translator. Right now she is trying to get help with Yahoo Messenger w/ camera so we can practice her English and my so called Mardarin..sheeeeeeshhhhh what a tough language...I thought Russian was tough when I was in school, but this language may be more than an old man can be taught. LOL As far as things to do while there, she has suggested, the zoo, parks, and going to Qing mountain to see the peach blossoms and Temples, also climbing some tower to see the whole city. She would like for me to come for the Chinese New Year at the end of January but I don't see that happening this year since I am just starting the process and my passport hasn't even arrived. Another question I have. I get asked by women at work why I would be interested in Asian women and what's wrong with dating American women (this should fall in the heading of don't aska question yuo don't want to hear the answer too).....does anyone else get asked this and how do you tactfully say "Because I think American women are selfish, self-centered,greedy, shrews with no manners or self-respect"? It's not that I hate American women, but whenever I go out with female co-workers I leave feeling lucky that I am going home alone to check my email from China and not married to them. I have thought about it and have yet to come up with a non-offensive answer for these women. My oldest brother says to just tell them that "As part of the eligibiliy requirement for our family trust fund the youngest child of every third generation is required to marry someone from an Asian country and that you don't want to, but the rest of the heirs are counting on it." ROFL What do ya think!!! Thanks again The Rak

OK, now I have to ask what is the padded cell. Other than where i should have been put for deciding to marry my EX. LOL Thank you for your input. The Rak

I have a couple of questions which have probably been addressed previously, but I was unable to locate a thread and as a newbie thought I ask. First.... What is the deal with the mop? I see all kinds of references to the mop and the mop closet. Woul someone explain what appears to be an inside joke? Thanks The second question is actually more a question with a subgroup of questions and is about a bit more delicate subject. I will try to present this in a way so as to not offend or come across as trying to carve notches in a bed post. My question has to do with sexual conduct behind closed doors. With the vast cultural and moral differences between East/West is the behind closed door experience different? Are things that are culturally and morally acceptable in the West taboo when with Asian ladies? I ask this because I am planning my first trip to China for early next year and, with existing language problems, I do not want to do anything that may cause problems in a budding relationship. I plead ignorance in this area and would appreciate any legitimate help in preparing and understanding what is acceptableand what is not. For example: Is it taboo for her to come to my hotel room to visit or even spend the night? Some cultures would view a single lady visiting a mans hotel room as grounds for her having to wear a "Scarlet Letter". is this the case in China? Should I only meet her in the lobby of the hotel room? My SO has explained to me that it is now acceptable to hold hands in public and that kissing on the cheek in acceptable in public. In private is french kissing? Oral sex? As I said at the beginning I am not trying to carve notches in a bed post, but rather trying to understand and not offend or make any missteps. Thanks for you respones