IllinoisDave

Interesting story on China's economic outlook with some parallels to our own. http://www.economist.com/world/internation...ory_id=12987564

Well said.

All of that sounds very familiar. He has a great point about it being amusing or even endearing when you're only there for a short time. All those things made for a great adventure when I was there for my small week or ten day trips. But I imagine it would get to be a little old after awhile.

China could learn from America: How to form AND maintain a damn queue! America could learn from China: How to treat our elderly has already been taken. So I'll suggest that we could learn from China how to treat food as healthful nourishment and something to be savored rather than something that's snagged out of a window on any street corner and wolfed down on the way to our next destination.

Good luck Dennis. BTW, black text is MUCH easier on the eyes.

CONGRATS!!

The Chinese as a society don't hold a monopoly on helping to "find" suitable mates for their children. In fact, stacked up against some other cultures out there, they're downright subtle. Screaming fraud in a crowded visa office is a wee bit premature IMHO. Was it fraud because I met my now-wife through an online agency whose sole purpose is to "find" mates for Chinese women? Was it fraud for the high percentage of members here who met their fiancees/wives in a similar manner? After all, these two haven't even met yet, let alone filed for any type of visa. Maybe they won't click at all. Or maybe Al will be so pissed he hops right back on a plane to kick Dennis' ass. Or maybe, just maybe, they'll decide to give a relationship a try and see what happens. Hopefully that process would involve some time to get to know each other. But it's up to them. I don't thinks it's our place to decide for them that a short courtship constitutes visa fraud. Especially when many here are/were in the same boat. Having said that, I do hope that if Al and this lady do decide to pursue something they give themselves the best chance possible of success. Which would most likely mean, as others have suggested, giving it a year or more, lots of trips and communication etc. I have no doubt that if Al comes back a happy camper for having met this gal, one of the first things Dennis will tell him is to join Candle. Then he'll have access to the same information and advice the rest of us have been lucky enough to enjoy. And he can read this thread and him and Dennis can have a big laugh over it.

Anything to report Dennis?

CONGRATULATIONS!

CONGRATULATIONS

Nice post and pics Jesse. Despite all the crap I give ya I do have a lot of respect and admiration for your having the guts make such a life-altering move. I bet most of us have wondered at one time or another what it would really be like to actually LIVE in China. You're finding out. I don't know whether to be envious or glad it ain't me. I hope things continue to go well for you and your family.

Here's hoping no one's Ox get's gored this year. Happy New Year to all here and in China.

Lot's of pictures with her family. And take her a Cubs shirt and take some pics with her wearing it. Worked for us. Good luck!

Amen to that brother Roger.

Practice, practice, practice...

Good luck.

Wow Dennis, you really are caught between a rock and a hard place. I feel for you. How well do you know Al? Do you chat often? Enough to casually bring up a "hypothetical" friend of a friend who happens to be in the same situation? You could lay out the story gradually and judge his reaction to each part. Emphasize the bits about how common it is for "translators" to do the bidding for women who are too shy or not confident enough in their communication skills to speak directly to the guy. Emphasize how culturally acceptable this is in China and that your hypothetical friend of a friend will be happy either way. Emphasize how the Chinese don't really consider it to be deceptive since all things will be better in the end. And by all means emphasize what a hottie the "other girl" is. Seriously though, you're well enough versed in Chinese culture to lay it all out in such a way as to make it look attractive if he's at all up for it. You'll just have to judge his reaction and comments as you tell him the story. If he seems like someone who wouldn't be too upset by this scenario, consider going with the "Al Doe...this is your life!" moment. If he reacts negatively to the whole thing, you're kinda back to square one I guess. Just an idea. Good luck in whatever you decide.

I'm confused but CONGRATULATIONS just the same.

I agree that something's changed at GUZ. I don't buy into the idea that more people are coming here later in the process, thus driving up the % of whites for CFL members. If true it may mean we just might want to change the advice we give new members who're still early in the process. The traditional line has been that techinically all you had to do was satisfy the letter of the requirements, i.e. having met at least once in person etc. The advice we've given since I've been here has always been that marrying on the first visit or shortly after a divorce should not be an impediment as long as you've met all the requirements and have your paperwork ducks in a row. I think that may have changed now. Maybe we should start telling folks they should let the relationship breath for awhile after the first meeting before getting engaged or married, especially when a recent divorce is involved. Or maybe just for everyone. We've always said "the more trips the merrier,but only one is required" and "plenty of people get pink with only one trip" etc. That may still be the case for many without divorces or no other potential red flags. But until the evidence coming out of GUZ shows otherwise, it seems that the game has tilted against those with more borderline cases. Of course, this all depends on that advice getting to couples before they've taken the plunge. Many find us only after they've gotten engaged or married and are starting the filing process.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

She went threw her interview in Ho Chi Minh, she does speak Vietnamise but not fluent Unfortunately, most everyone's experience here is with Guangzhou and the patterns and history of what that particular consulate has expected from the beneficiary and petitioner. So some of your questions as to what might help your chances may be a bit more difficult to answer since we don't have any experience with Ho Chi Minh's way of doing things. But I would imagine that some things are logically universal, like more visits being better but not required and being able to demonstrate that the two of you can communicate with each other. Perhaps others would be willing to offer opinions on your other questions. At any rate best of luck to both of you.

Fascinating stuff Mick. You've really been through the wars.

Welcome to Candle Bryon. Sorry to hear about your denial. I'm a little confused. Did your fiancee go through the consulate in Vietnam or Guangzhou?