Joanne

Sorry to hear about your "blue slip". You will overcome!

Are you kiding, Jim?!

He was probably issued a regular passport for public affairs purposes, then replaced by a regular passport for private matters from an overseas Chinese embassy. Then there would be a difference. The newer version does not differentiate the two kinds of regular passports. http://abroad.163.com/editor/others/040113/040113_10371.html

In my view, a Chinese passport is a Chinese passport.

Congratulations to you, too!!!

I hope the heated discussion would not cause any of our CFL member's feelings hurt. If that happens, I would regret having started all this. My original question was: "Is it possible to make friend with opposite sex, and truely without intention of marriage, if you are single? " This is not a question I could answer, because I have always been in a marriage or in serious relationship ever since I was 20. However, I feel obliged to do my share here. Like I said before, I always believe that men and women can be friends. I have quite a few friends from opposite sex. With only two exceptions, my ex- and my husband, I don't feel any trace of sexual interest from them (not even from my husband when we just started). I always know that I am not sexually attractive (nor ugly), and I don't feel bad about it, and in fact prefer it this way to some extent. This is possibly why my male friends treat me like a friend. They treat me just like they do to their male friends except that they quite telling colored jokes when I come along. I know some of them do tell colored jokes in front of other women or girls. I consider this as their respect toward me. Usually, I interact with my male friends with a group, but I didn't deliberately avoid being with one alone. Occasionally we meet/chat one-to-one, but that does not happen regularly, and it mostly happen due to the circumstances. I was happy to have helped some of them saving their relationship with SOs. A related thought is, I think husband and wife's relationship change over the years, it starts from sexual relationship (but always more than that, otherwise a prostitude would serve the needs) and develops more towards friendship. According to scientific studies, chemicals wore off gradually with time. The marriage can only last if there is more content to it.

Best wishes to you and your SO!

Thank you, David, for the links. Didn't know this topic has already been discussed twice in CFL. From what I have read here, I realize that, this is indeed a difficult topic. Everyone has their own definition of "friendship". Think about it. I am not able to define "friend" clearly myself. I can think of the following quality for my friend: - being interested in my well-being - enjoy being together with me, alone or with a group - share interest in a range of topics, but don't have to be agreeable - is willing to help when requested, however in my own case, I would rather keep the relationship pure - can trust and confide to (on a range of topic) - provide different viewpoints when facing difficult choices .... I also believe that a friend is not someone you feel attached to, and long term commitment is also not necessary. I think, in order to keep marriage healthy, one need to have friend (roughly defined above) from opposite sex. Because wife and husband's interest are so bonded together, at times, they both fell in the same mental traps, so they need friend to point a way out. Men and women's approach to problems are usually different, you would need to hear from both sides. Particularly, when comes to communication problems between a couple, friends from the opposite sex can offer valuable advices.

You would have to explain to me why you commented that was a "loaded question". (I didn't know what this means until I just checked it out from the dictionary). No hurry though. But I think if you try to take this GZ lady, Feifei, as a friend to start with, you might be able to feel more relaxed and enjoy your time together better. That means, don't have to worry about lots of things, like her intention,etc.etc. Just a thought. Enjoy your journey!!!!

This comes to: What is friendship? Why can you have male friends?

Good point!

She might be able to get a cheaper flight, but I know I can get her a flight out of Shanghai-Osaka-Dallas-San Antonio (Air Nippon-American Airways) for $697 or Shanghai-Tokyo-Dallas-San Antonio (China Eastern-American) for $698. We will wait and see. 165607[/snapback] She might get a better price buying it from a ticket agent in Shanghai. quote I get include: 3000RMB Shanghai -> Los Angels -> Seattle 3400RMB Shanghai -> Seoul, Korea -> Seattle I placed an order for the second option because I perfer to have port of entry close to home, just in case some unexpected (I don't know what) happened. (Watched the movie "Terminal"? If I lost my passport, I may get my relatives to deliver some food and amenities to me or if I am not allowed entry, I can at least pass my daughter over. ) One good thing about buying here is that you can place order first, but actually buying it ("issue the ticket) later when you make up your mind and fix the travel plan.

Another thought related to my first post. Do you think you can start a relationship from being simply friends? It is possible to make friend with opposite sex, and truely without intention of marriage, if you are single?

I noticed a possible difference between our two cultures. Our Chinese people like to be with friends. Almost every Tuesday, after our school meeting, I will go with a few friends to a tea house for some casual chat. Friends can be male or female. We talk about work, family and exchange opinion on how each member should handle different situation. (Just like CFL, in a sense, we also learn how to understand and treat our SOs better) However, I noticed that my husband doesn't like to "gossip". He does have lunch with colleagues on a regular basis, but he always try to bring us, his family, along for almost every after-work gathering, including the ones organized by his company. I appreciate it that my husband always think about his family. But at times I felt uncomfortable that I was the only outsider there, because most of his non-single colleagues are Chinese and they usually don't bring family. I also hope that he has opportunity to make closer friends to share ideas.

Peter, let me give your questions a try. Can SO be my agent in China? - Yes, for most dealings. The safest way is to get a Notary certificate stating that you SO will act on behalf of you. (I would suggest you think twice whether you want to do this before you get married.) Can I buy home in China without being married to SO? - Yes. I don't know the procedures though. Which way is teh best for banking in China? - Don't know what is best. One option is that you open a Bank of China account, and either wire transfer to this account or bring traveler's checks and deposit to this account. You may also cash traveler's checks without setting up an account. One thing to keep in mind, Cash and transfered money are treated differently in China. For example, transfered money is allowed transfer back to your US bank account, but cash can not. You also get better exchange rate for transfered money. I am not expert on this. If you care about the related cost and want to make all your money dealings legitimately, need to study more on this topic. Can I live with SO while we wait for K1? - Don't know for sure. I guess you can do it as long as you maintain you US domicile. (Being able to receive mails timely, etc.) Is there a time limit on how long I can stay on visitors visa? - 3 month after your entry to China. If you register with local police station, you may apply for reentry visa and extension of your staying in China. You may ask your SO to check with Chinese Police bureau visa section. Can I get green card before we are married? - Who get green card? I believe your SO (assuming you are the petitioner) can not get green card before you marry him/her.

Thank you, David, for the information. The point I wanted to make is not about whether HIV positive is OK. I just want to point out that any kind of mistake can happen either caused by the hospital or by the applicant. We would better allow time for correcting it.

But it seems the hospital held back the report when they performed the second test, or it could be that the lady was afraid to show the report. Whichever was the case, this is only one special incident to remind us the risk. Something else could happen to you.

When I posted my medical examination experience in Shanghai, some of CFL members responded that their SO intended to do medical examination in GZ just before the interview. Today, I learned from 001, a lady had the medical done a day or two prior to interview at one of the Guangzhou hospitals, got an HIV positive report. So she could not provide the report to VO at the interview, and received "pink" slip (according to her description, I don't know why not "blue"). That is to say she was denied the visa. Later, more lab test were done, and it was proved that the hospital made a mistake. So, I strongly suggest that the visa applicant get the medical done many days before the interview, just to avoid some unexpected and unnecessary difficulties.

It's 12:02AM Beijing time, the start of your SO's interview day. Wish you the best!! Cheers!

Allow me to get off-topic a bit? Could anyone help me visualize this better? Hope your interview come soon as I predicted.

Your wife will need a NOTARIAL birth certificate.

Alien Registration Number.

Congratulations!

Mark, you effort is greatly appreciated. Wish you an enjoyable journey and a happy result from the interview!!!