JamesnYuHong

In my household, I find it's best to always do it the wife's way. If a man couldn't eat Chinese food, use chopsticks, live in a place decorated and maintained entirely in a Chinese style, and accept and understand a good cussing out in the Chinese language, I'm not sure what use he would be to my wife.

Darnell, how do you plan for twins? Drugs such as Clomid? As for age, I can see it from both sides. My dad died two years ago when I was 29. I was "grown," but I sure do miss him. He was 36 when I was born and just turned 66 when he died. We all wish we would live longer than 66, but many of us don't. If someone is 50 and wants to have a child, well ... children are a blessing at any age. However, I do think it'd best if at least one parent can be around until the child is 30, at minimum. (35 or 40 is better.) And then think about your family situation. When both parents are gone, will the child have any close relatives around at all? A sibling is nice. It's very individual. I wouldn't make any blanket rules. Just think ahead. Some of it depends on how much money you have.

It's not that Americans won't do the work. It's that the companies don't want to pay a livable wage for Americans. Of course you can get Nigerians etc. to do the work cheaper. Those amounts equal pretty good money that they can send home. It will go a long way in a country where the currency is valued lower. And they are willing/able to live 10 people to a house and conditions such as that. It's a wage that may work for someone under those very special circumstances: working temporarily, living under cramped conditions, in order to try to send as much money as possible back home. But for an average American trying to actually live what we call a life, with a family, that wage doesn't work. It's not a matter of "the jobs Americans won't do anymore." It's a matter of wages that are not living wages. Americans would still do most any job, including picking produce, if it paid a living wage.

Only my wife's mother will apply this time. I'm wondering if that will help? Because if her husband stays behind, then that is a pretty big tie to China.

Does anyone know how often visitor visas are being approved for in-laws? How likely is it that my wife's mother would be approved to come over this year?

We want my mother-in-law to come help us with twins to be born this winter. How likely that she'll be approved? IT will just be her, my father-in-law will not be coming.

I want to ask everyone (and maybe this would be better in the polls section) do your wives do this? Stomping out of the house in the middle of an argument, such that you have to follow her out to the sidewalk and try to get her to come back in?

I don't think that's true as much as one might think. The notion runs quite deep in the society ... it's in movies, TV dramas, etc., so I don't think it is a "rich" thing there as it would be (more so) here.

What you said is in line with what I was thinking. Looks like we'll have to dig in for a wait.

Dear Guangzhou, A few questions. -If the mother is already in the U.S. (CR-1) and has been here for two years, is it possible for a young child who stayed behind in China to come to the U.S. on a visiting visa? -If so, would the visiting visa need to be applied for prior to any I-130 being filed for the child, or could it be applied for during the I-130 process? -Is I-130 processing for a child any shorter than for spouses? Thanks very much.

Also, because my head is beginning to spin, I hope no one will be offended if I post this at Guangzhou Speaks, too.

My wife was never issued a K3. We applied for it, got an interview based on it, but by the time we showed up for the interview, the I-130 had arrived at the consulate. So the K3 was disposed of, and she was given a CR-1. So do you think a visiting visa is possible? Is it better to try for that first, or go ahead with the CR-1? (I just sent the I-130 for CR-1 today, but I guess I could call it back.) Birth father has been a problem (actually, "the" problem), but he recently said daughter could come. We now need to establish the custody formally.

It's been done by SheLikesMe?, but their situation was that the CR-2 was all but approved, waiting (for issuance) for the girl to finish school. Will it be impossible to do a visiting visa first, and permanent paperwork after she is here?

Copy of passport needs to be all pages including cover, or you can just send a copy or your birth cert to prove you are a US Citizen. I would submit a G-325A for the US Citizen Step Parent even though not requested in the directions. Timing is the same as if you filed a I-130 for an IR-1/CR-1 for spouse, 1 to 1.5 year. Ugh, so long. This is probably a dumb question, but is any visiting visa available for a child in this situation?

My wife has been here for almost two years -- she came on a CR-1. Now we want to bring her 6-year-old daughter. Is this checklist correct? -I-130 -Copy of marriage certificate (wife and me) -Copy of wife's divorce certificate -Copy of my passport. Is that it? From the instructions on the I-130, it didn't look like G-325s were necessary. Also, does anyone know how long this should take at this point? I've been out of the loop for a while now. Thanks!

Let her come to the conclusion herself. Ask her, "Well, are we still going to send that TV to China? Let's take it over to UPS (or whatever method you choose) and send it today." Box it up and go over there, and let them weigh it, and let her see for herself that it's going to cost $944 just to ship it. Don't fight her about things like this; let her see for herself.

On a couple of occasions my wife has mistakenly launched into telling me a story in Mandarin and not realized what she was doing until I said, "Huh? What are you talking about?" She often curses me or calls me an idiot or whatever in Chinese, but a lot of those words I know. One day she was with a Mandarin-speaking friend and she unconsciously started talking in her local dialect, which the friend couldn't understand at all.

Maybe most people know this already, but for CR-1s there were some shortcuts in the NVC process that a lot of people on visajourney.com used to use. I don't know if they still do. They saved some people quite a bit of time.

My wife wants to be a nurse too. She is looking into a program where her tuition would be paid if she agrees to work for the organization for a certain period.

Seems she has financial/material/security-related things on her mind. She doesn't want to hear about a bunch of fluffy romantic stuff.

When your wives say "nei ge," do you mean they say it while speaking English, or Chinese? Mine says it in Chinese (hard to speak any language without occasionally referring to "that one") but never in the middle of an English sentence.

My wife came over here on a CR-1 last year. Now we want to bring her young daughter (age 5). 1. Can anyone tell me what papers will be required? I know her birth certificate will be needed, and will have to be translated to English, and she will need to get a passport. Anything else? (Will we need the original of the passport, or will a photocopy do?) Anything else I am forgetting? 2. Is she eligible for a visitor's visa in the meantime? I have a feeling I know the answer to this one. 3. How long do you think it will take in all? Edit: I should not that we did not file for a visa for her initially.

Frank, In philosophy I agree with you. However, I would let Jingwen and KK make the decision. You could state your preference, but in a neutral way, not too forceful. I do like Dennis' idea, though.

Social Security will be around ... the issue is a little overblown ... it may only be a percentage of what we're supposed to get, though; perhaps 70 to 80 percent.

Chinese restaurants. The tips are widely variable depending on the restaurant, but you can start at one, learn the menus and basic restaurant English, and move on to another one where the tips tend to be better. Then you can move on to a non-Chinese restaurant. The added benefit of a Chinese restaurant is an instant network of other Chinese speakers.