Trigg Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Ok, some of you old timey dudes that have had their SOs here for the Chinese New Year, I need to be enlightened. What must I do to stay out of trouble with my oh so passive Chinese bride, Fang Ling? I keep asking her what she wants to do for New Year and she keeps saying "No do nothin'". I ain't gonna fall for that one again--NO no No-gettin to smart for that ole trick. So, give me the benifit of your vast knowledge. What can I get by with?? What must I do to insure my warm cozy place in the marrital bed is protected?? I'm trying to get through this thing for less than $1,000,000 USD and, of course, the minimum amount of effort.Trigg Link to comment
ptcrusier333rph Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 have a child.....ROFL.....wipe tears from eyes.....sorry Trigg learn long ago never get between a man and his woman on decision for getting something for the wife...... we always get blame for the idea....beside you know her better than we do..... now if you ask her women friends they might tell you what she want..... seriously might ask her close friend you get a better idea robert Link to comment
Trigg Posted February 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 New clothes-got it. But, she says -"no need new clothse, have good old clothes. Now not China" then she rambles on and on about how we aren't in China and don't need to celebrate Chinese holidays. Then she makes me hang those red paper lanterns all over the house. Then she says "Husband, you no need spend money for me things". Then she talks for what seems to be hours (maybe 5 minutes) on the subject of China and New years customs. Then she says " We no do nothing for new Years is Ok, no need spend money" THen Then Then. Why do I get the feeling there is no correct way to handle this holiday thing?? Am I being set up??? Oh my wise brethren please to give stupid old man survival tips. Link to comment
Dan R Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Good luck old man. I think I'm starting to get a vision of next year Chinese New Year. Link to comment
tywy_99 Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Sounds like big trouble in little china......... I'm glad that I don't have it that bad. At the moment, my wife is watching some sort of spring festival variety show on CCTV4. It stays on for 4 hours. She likes it and if that makes her happy, then I'm happy too!...... gong xi fa cai! Link to comment
cosmiclobster Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 I'm afraid that in this new chicken year, you will get plucked. Hey Trigg: Getting plucked isn't so bad - but watch out if she starts talking about making a pot of stewed chicken!! Link to comment
Robert S. Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Drive to Alabama and buy lots of firecrackers. Get her drunk and let her shoot them off. Along with the red lanterns this ought to be enough. But I am just guessing. You request the wise men to help -- I darn sure ain't one of them. My Ping does not make a fuss about anything like this. Link to comment
Trigg Posted February 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Drive to Alabama and buy lots of firecrackers. Get her drunk and let her shoot them off. Along with the red lanterns this ought to be enough. But I am just guessing. You request the wise men to help -- I darn sure ain't one of them. My Ping does not make a fuss about anything like this.Ok, so let me get this straight. NEVER EVER believe her. Always know what she really means. Get ready to get plucked without getting kissed or even a reach around. And, finnaly, drive to Alabama for fireworks. One question. Why alabama fireworks??? I live 1/2 mile from a fireworks stand. Are TN fireworks no good?? Or is it the roundtrip to Alabama that gets me out of trouble. Link to comment
yyp Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Place the red banner paper around the front door with the appropriate wording for good fortune good luck.... Lots of good food goes along way to staying out of trouble. Link to comment
warpedbored Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Just returned from the department store. The new clothes thing had slipped my mind. Bing was taking a nap so when I got home so I surprised her with a new outfit. Red underwear and all. Thanks guys. Link to comment
Trigg Posted February 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Me thinks this isn't going well. She refused to go shopping (NEVER EVER thought I'd see that happen). I haven't got a clue what size she wears---probably not XXL. I did get some red Chinese paper lanterns hung up but she said upside down is bad luck. She keeps telling me she refuses to clean the house tommorrow. "no problem" I told her, "I t wasn't that clean today anyway"--BIG Mistake. How was I supposed to know she didn't want to clean because she is afraid she will sweep away the good luck?? She has been trying to call China for two hours and keeps getting a busy signal from the calling card. Should this ever happen to you, the correct response is NOT "maybe nobody likes you enough to talk to you" Finaly, she makes a huge dinner and asked me how I likey "It's ok I guess but you have made better" Is definatley a wrong response. Gheezzzzz if I'd a know she was gonna do all that I wouldn't have snuck those three Big Macs. Sooo, no new clothes for the new years-no clean house for wifey-no decorations-no great feast-and damned sure no good time for me tonight. Still yet more lessons in cultural diversity learned the hard way ny Trigg Link to comment
Robert S. Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Oh, come on Trigg, it will all blow over, it is not an omen for the whole coming year, let us hope. Hey, I did not know that the great state of Tennessee was one of the few that still allows fireworks!!!! Did you go get some???? Might change the mood. I don't believe you really said that about the food, no way, but that would be funny if you did. Then you could put on your hair shirt and go flagellate yourself. You could come back all bloody and she would have to clean you up with her mop then rub the wounds with salt. Her cooking is nearly always good, never forget that, which you already know. (Over emphasis here for the newbies). Link to comment
Trigg Posted February 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Oh, come on Trigg, it will all blow over, it is not an omen for the whole coming year, let us hope. Hey, I did not know that the great state of Tennessee was one of the few that still allows fireworks!!!! Did you go get some???? Might change the mood. I don't believe you really said that about the food, no way, but that would be funny if you did. Then you could put on your hair shirt and go flagellate yourself. You could come back all bloody and she would have to clean you up with her mop then rub the wounds with salt. Her cooking is nearly always good, never forget that, which you already know. (Over emphasis here for the newbies).Robert, yes we have fireworks but would you really want me to get fireworks )you know those dangerous things that go boom) after saying all those things to wifey?? I wouldn't need to flagellate myself--hell she'd blow me all to hell and back before I had the chance. Of course all those things I said are true-look at my avatar-does that look like the face of a lier?? Yes, newbies take notes on what not to do. I was warned, I didn't listen-I was WRONG!!!!!!!! Link to comment
cosmiclobster Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 TRIGG!! tsk tsk tsk how could such a wise old man make SO MANY rookie mistakes??? Sounds like you should of stayed in bed!! Well, tomorrow is a new day - it can only get better from here!! B) Link to comment
oregonknl Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Yeah, Newbees Don't worry about Trigg and anything that explodes --- (literally) .... he has plenty of experience with all of it..... His questions relates to the more figurative nature of exploding "thin's" .... and in that department, I'm very, very worried......... Trigg, WOULDN'T RECOMMEND THAT YOU TAKE THE: "ITS NO BIG DEAL" EXPLINATION VERY SERIOUSLY ~!! Plan something --- Anything !! Link to comment
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