an asian thing

[eeyore]

That site is interesting, not sure it amounts to a whole lot though.

[pkfops]

Happy New Year

[maiyademama]

Asian women are strong.

 

They are not afraid to be women.

 

American women seem to have an identity problem.

 

They think they have to be like men and take on everything.

 

When they do that, they crash and burn and blame the man.

 

Divorce, alimony, child support, new husband.

 

Americans talk about ¡§family values¡¨. Go to Asia, ¡§family values¡¨

rule.

 

Ten thousand years of history, they know what works.

How General

 

How Broad

 

How Typical

[tonyontherock]

How General

 

How Broad

 

How Typical

 

How True!

[awch]

Asian women are strong.

 

They are not afraid to be women.

 

American women seem to have an identity problem.

 

They think they have to be like men and take on everything.

 

When they do that, they crash and burn and blame the man.

 

Divorce, alimony, child support, new husband.

 

Americans talk about ¡§family values¡¨. Go to Asia, ¡§family values¡¨

rule.

 

Ten thousand years of history, they know what works.

I thought we were over this whole "bashing American women" thing- or didn't you read that post?

 

I wonder if your comments include your mom, sister, daughter, aunts, grandmother- I really think you should specify.

[Jeikun]

American men are cowards.

 

They are afraid of strong women.

 

American men seem to have control-freak issues.

 

They think women should be grateful and depend on them for everything.

 

When they do that, the woman gets fed up and leaves the man.

 

Divorce, alimony, child support, new husband.

 

Americans talk about "family values". Go to Asia, the outward appearance of "family values" rule.

 

Ten thousand years of history, they've had more time to practice, and know how to cheat on each other, treat each other like crap, and use social pressure to keep dead marriages together anyway.

[pkfops]

Happy New Year

[LouRose]

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

I know I don't always follow this either but I'm starting to think we should.

 

Making negative generalizations about large heterogeneous groups of people does not accomplish anything, regardless of whether your own family is involved or not.

 

I miss reading about interesting things in here so I'm going to start a new topic.

[awch]

Asian women are strong.

 

 

I wonder if your comments include your mom, sister, daughter, aunts, grandmother- I really think you should specify.

 

It includes them too.

Thanks very much for your response.

 

It is especially amazing to me that such a long line of weak, defective women were able to produce someone as strong, kind-hearted and compassionate as you. Will wonders never cease?

[pkfops]

Happy New Year!!!!!

[oregonknl]

"Making negitive generalizations about large heterogenous groups of people doesn't accomplish anything..."

 

Louisa ---- who are you calling heterogenous?? Isn't that a value judgement?

 

Are there NO broad distinctions that can be surmised as being valid between western and Chinese people? No cultural comparisons that can be validly made? Arn't we all about celebrating differences of two cultures on this web site?? How can we do that if we can't identify (or at least discuss) them???

 

And if so, why would anyone waste time in the Social Sciences???

 

Can't we discuss some of these aspects without becoming personally offended?

 

I didn't see any personal attacks in pkfop's posts, quite the contrary, much too broad of a brush stroke, in my opinion, but perhaps a vaild starting point for discussion?

 

Tony saw something that rang true in the initial post ----and that is from the perspective (I think) of an ABC man, returned to China --- observing "from both sides now"

[maiyademama]

"Making negitive generalizations about large heterogenous groups of people doesn't accomplish anything..."

 

Louisa ---- who are you calling heterogenous??  Isn't that a value judgement? 

 

Are there NO broad distinctions that can be surmised as being valid between western and Chinese people?  No cultural comparisons that can be validly made? Arn't we all about celebrating differences of two cultures on this web site??  How can we do that if we can't identify (or at least discuss) them??? 

 

And if so, why would anyone waste time in the Social Sciences???

 

Can't we discuss some of these aspects without becoming personally offended?

 

I didn't see any personal attacks in pkfop's posts, quite the contrary, much too broad of a brush stroke, in my opinion, but perhaps a vaild starting point for discussion? 

 

Tony saw something that rang true in the initial post ----and that is from the perspective (I think) of an ABC man, returned to China --- observing "from both sides now"

Hi Kim,

Pkfop edited his post but you can still see it in quotes in Amber's and my own post...He was very rude afterthat in his response to Amber another post which has been editied. He has editied his posts about 3 times now.

 

I think he feels bad...apparently he doesn't have a lot of support for his marriage. His family has issues with him getting together with an Asian. It happens...My mother was against my marriage too (just cuz she was right didn't mean that she could talk about us the way she did)...she told everyone that I was brainwashed by red chinese commies B) so that is why I married a Chinese.

 

Lourose is referring to American WOMEN as heterogenous meaning we all have all different backgrounds, religion, ethnicity, culture, habits, weaknesses and Strengths....

[Jeikun]

Kim and others. I love my fiancee. She is Chinese. I have been hurt by other women in the past. (Though my ex was not an American one in this case).

 

But let's not take our happiness, and past hurts and turn them into an insulting view of 50% of our fellow Americans, or a starry-eyed storybook fantasy regarding our chosen love's people.

 

Maybe you missed pk's original post. He edited it. I think he did so, because to his credit he realized he had insulted some members of this board, and though better of it.

 

We all know that MANY generalizations and stereotypes hold SOME truth... that's why they exist to begin with. But they are NEVER the whole truth, and often are only a small part of it, sometimes even completely inaccurate.

 

Using those assumptions to make some very negative statements about an entire gender of an entire nation is not a way to start a constructive discussion with members of the group you have just included in your statement.

 

what about my post back there (IF I had been serious) would anyone feel like that was a starting point for constructive discussion? I basically just changed the words of his a little to apply it to a different group of people - US (American men).

 

I agree some of the concepts may be worthy of discussion if handled correctly - presented correctly. If we were having a more "enlightened" discussion about the effects on the collective psychology of Americans and chinese, and how differing value systems, language, culture, economic status, and political systems lead into our most common differences and similarities, as well as where such stereotypes begin, how valid they may be, and at what point they fall apart.

 

However... the "Chinese women good... American women BAD" kind of statement is not how to begin this.

[oregonknl]

Yeah, I didn't see the whole post (s)

 

"Americans talk about "family values", go to Asia, "family values " rule.

 

Anyone think there may be some truth to this?? Is it valid enough to be a discussion point?

 

And pardon me, but having been raised in very much of a liberal and "feminist" household, I also saw quite a bit of my mother (and now my adult sister) taking some very "in your face" attitudes towards men --- and reading Chinese history even recent Chinese history --- which included perhaps the most politically powerful woman in the 20th. Century (May-Ling Soong) --- it would have been anathema for a Chinese woman to rise to power by typically "western feminist" means...

 

Anyone else see any validity here???

 

Interesting to note that some of my (former) "Liberal" friends have disowned me -- (partly due to the constant carping to them about me by my ex-wife): Citing the classic western position: "Fei must be a victim... She is escaping ecconomic hardship" ... this about a divorced, College educated Chinese woman who speaks four languages..... poor dear, must not know her own mind.....

[warpedbored]

I don't think it is too much of a stretch to say that in general Americans both men and women are more materialistic and self centered than Chinese. All of our lives Americans are taught to be independent rather than what is best for the greater whole. In general I would even venture to say that Chinese women are taught to be more self sacrificing than thier American counterparts. There is also more stigma to divorce. This could all boil down to say that perhaps they are more willing to try and work it out rather than abandon the relationship. The trouble with anything in general though is there are always exceptions. Cultural profiles are like cliches. There is usually at least a little truth to them.