I WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP!

[lori&dave]

We were interviewed by SF INS on May 19th, 04. We have been waiting for almost 3 months now without any information fm them. We were told on the date of interview that my A file (K1 visa package) hadnt arrived at INS and security clearance not completed yet. I called in yesterday and was told that they will send a case inquiry for me and I can;t call again until 30 days after. My school is starting and my tight school schedule makes it very hard to find time go to SF downtown.

 

This morning I heard from 001 forum that a K3 gal in a similar situation just found out by visiting local INS and they lost her K3 visa package during the transfering process fm airport to INS! I am shocked! Maybe same thing has happened to me!

 

My husband thinks that it's not that important since we are together already. He doesnt understand that I just try to get rid of this waiting INS nitemare as soon as possible!

 

Any one can shed some lights here?

[LENJIA]

We were interviewed by SF INS on May 19th, 04. We have been waiting for almost 3 months now without any information fm them. We were told on the date of interview that my A file (K1 visa package) hadnt arrived at INS and security clearance not completed yet. I called in yesterday and was told that they will send a case inquiry for me and I can;t call again until 30 days after. My school is starting and my tight school schedule makes it very hard to find time go to SF downtown.

 

This morning I heard from 001 forum that a K3 gal in a similar situation just found out by visiting local INS and they lost her K3 visa package during the transfering process fm airport to INS! I am shocked! Maybe same thing has happened to me!

 

My husband thinks that it's not that important since we are together already. He doesnt understand that I just try to get rid of this waiting INS nitemare as soon as possible!

 

Any one can shed some lights here?

I am sorry, but I would have to agree with youre husband. That stamp means a lot, but just you two being together now means a lot more. There is always time to get a stamp and at least now you are together to work out the paperwork.

[Jim - Portland, USA]

You want me to shed some light on your nightmare? What nightmare?!?! You guys are TOGETHER.

 

Out of respect to those of us who are still forced to be seperated from the ones we love and cherish the most ... please don't use the word 'nightmare' to describe the trivial situation you are in now. You should be much much more appreciative of the situation you are in now.

 

I would love to be in the 'nightmare' situation you are in now.

 

It would be a dream of mine to switch places with you.

 

Go back to China, be seperated from your husband for a year, waiting and waiting and waiting for something which is totally out of your control until you can be with him again, then maybe you'll begin to know what a real nightmare is. How easily some forget, eh?

 

Sorry if this post sounds harsh, it just really bothers me that you can be so insensitive and be so GROSSLY out of perspective. Sorry, but no tears here about how your world is crumbling around you because you have a tight schedule and find it difficult to make it into downtown San Francisco on occassion.

 

YOU WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP? I WANT MY SWEETIE.

 

I hope I was able to shed some light on your nightmare situation.

[Razbre]

ya know...I probably ought to keep my mouth shut...and i am not in the top ten posters here...but.....sheesh, she was asking a serious question that was/is important to HER.....not so TRIVIAL....and it probably is a nightmare to HER....so give her some help....cut her some slack for cryin out loud...maybe an answer or a direction to go in with a little bit of class and tack....or just putting it as Lenjia had done...you slammed her big time....why?

we are all waiting to be with our sweethearts...and I am one of them in that 'nightmare', praying and hoping to wake up from it sooner than later....and we all have different priorities, whatever they may be.....but damn.....that sounded a little bit more than 'harsh' for cryin out loud........

lol..I probably should not post this....but.....no matter how long I have to wait...or how much I miss Yunling..I will still try and help others when they ask something if I can....wheather it be trivial or not to me...

I would fully understand....if she was never to post another question here...for fear of the reply she might get....not help....not answers...not comments....but slams....

[Patrick & Li]

I agree, It was over the top!

[Jeikun]

I have to chime in on this too. That was WAY too harsh. I would also like to point out that if I'm not mistaken she was referring to the ENTIRE process as a nightmare. As in she just finally wants to put it all behind her once and for all. Lori & Dave waited just like everyone else here, went through the BS etc, etc. Now there's even MORE BS to wade through... like it just won't end, you know?

 

This reminds me of a post about a week ago where someone jumped on someone else for complaining about the wait, because they hadn't been waiting for long yet...

 

There aren't any qualifying guidelines to determine if your problem is big enough to be "worthy" to post here. There is no rank, no heirarchy. Most of us are in the same situation here. Some further along than others. But I'm not going to jump on Dave G for posting about his SSN problems, or Trigg for posting about his wife mopping the carpet just because I'm still waiting for Jun to get here.

 

Jumping all over someone isn't going to help any of us. All you're going to do is alienate someone who just wanted to share some frustration and look for any suggestions someone may have.

 

The "HOW DARE YOU COMPLAIN WHEN MY PROBLEM IS WORSE???" bit is not very becoming. Waiting is hard on everyone. I know it can try patience and wear on nerves, but let's all take a little breath and a step back before we unload on someone else, especially someone who knows right where we've been.

[sylinchinastill]

I completely agree- I waited with Hengli the whole time- together- in China- and it was still maddening. Now we want to get the EAD or whatever for him to go back to China next summer for business- so we are waiting again. Waiting for the social, driver's license, every step until you have a 'normal' life again is very hard. I am not gonna be too harsh on this guy either- because he is frustrated too- But Lori is cool- her English is great- and everyone deserves to have this process finished and behind us.

[garagegods]

You want me to shed some light on your nightmare?  What nightmare?!?!  You guys are TOGETHER.

 

Out of respect to those of us who are still forced to be seperated from the ones we love and cherish the most ... please don't use the word 'nightmare' to describe the trivial situation you are in now.  You should be much much more appreciative of the situation you are in now.

 

I would love to be in the 'nightmare' situation you are in now.

 

It would be a dream of mine to switch places with you.

 

Go back to China, be seperated from your husband for a year, waiting and waiting and waiting for something which is totally out of your control until you can be with him again, then maybe you'll begin to know what a real nightmare is.  How easily some forget, eh?

 

Sorry if this post sounds harsh, it just really bothers me that you can be so insensitive and be so GROSSLY out of perspective.  Sorry, but no tears here about how your world is crumbling around you because you have a tight schedule and find it difficult to make it into downtown San Francisco on occassion.

 

YOU WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP?  I WANT MY SWEETIE.

I hope I was able to shed some light on your nightmare situation.

 

Most of us can really understand your pain of being apart, that is no reason to condem someone elses dificulty and pain at a different stage of the immigration process. you will be there soon enough! The right thing to do would offer Lori an apology for such harsh words. Also there are guidelines for this site please read bellow!

 

 

In order to maintain a positive and supportive environment, the following policies have been established:

* Anonymous postings have been disabled and a valid email address is

required.

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* Flaming, name-calling, or slandering elected government officials and government organizations is forbidden. The United States government already has a Herculean task in balancing security with reuniting families. Understanding and creating positive interest about our situation is what is needed, not anger and insults.

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[warpedbored]

Jim, she has already payed her dues with the separation wait. I can understand her frustration. By the time my wife got here I was pretty much drained and didn't even want to consider the next step, AOS. I put it off for a while just basking in being with my wonderful wife. Reality finally seeped in and I got back on the horse and continued the process but we are both still really tired of the whole mess and want it to be over with. Hang in there Lori it will get done.

[garagegodness]

You want me to shed some light on your nightmare?  What nightmare?!?!  You guys are TOGETHER.

 

Out of respect to those of us who are still forced to be seperated from the ones we love and cherish the most ... please don't use the word 'nightmare' to describe the trivial situation you are in now.  You should be much much more appreciative of the situation you are in now.

 

I would love to be in the 'nightmare' situation you are in now.

 

It would be a dream of mine to switch places with you.

 

Go back to China, be seperated from your husband for a year, waiting and waiting and waiting for something which is totally out of your control until you can be with him again, then maybe you'll begin to know what a real nightmare is.  How easily some forget, eh?

 

Sorry if this post sounds harsh, it just really bothers me that you can be so insensitive and be so GROSSLY out of perspective.  Sorry, but no tears here about how your world is crumbling around you because you have a tight schedule and find it difficult to make it into downtown San Francisco on occassion.

 

YOU WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP?  I WANT MY SWEETIE.

 

I hope I was able to shed some light on your nightmare situation.

Think before you speak.

 

I read your post in " Yan's Progress". I did not like it at all! You clearly pointed out Yan planned a divorce even before she came to the U.S. and expressed your positive doubt that Michael has been used. Those judgements were only based on the fact that you know neither of them in person, or long enough.

 

I hope you are aware any rush judgements on someone else personal issue might cause other people problems and lead to a complete different unhappy ending. And it is hard for you to imagine what every couple here has gone through during the waiting process and what we have gone through after we land out feet on this land. However what I can tell you from my own experience that living together is not much easier than being seperate. You will always encounter on new problems..ofcourse a lot more fun too!

[Jim - Portland, USA]

I'm sorry if I ruffled some feathers, but I don't regret anything I said. I'm not discounting that fact that Lori had (and is having) immigration struggles.

 

What really gets me is her abuse of the word nightmare. I still fail to see how she has any right to desrcibe her situation as a nightmare! She is with her husband now, how bad can it be?! I realize Lori is not a native English speaker, so okay I have to cut her slack for perhaps not using the correct word. Fine. But I wished she would have chosen a better word to describe her situation - inconvenient, worrisome, troublesome, bothersome, whatever. But when she used the word 'nightmare' to describe the way things are for her now. That's what ticked me off.

 

She shouted to all of us "I WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP!" Then she asked for someone to shed light on her situation, and that's what I did. I tried to put things in perspective for her. I make no apologoes for that. She should be grateful for the situation she is in now. It seems to me that she is already taking her good fortune for granted, and it bothers me that she has so much to be happy for, yet she still considers her situation to be so terrible.

 

Anyone who has been around CFL for awhile knows that I help plenty of people - I answer as many questions as I can, helping others who are further back in the process. I spend way more time helping people on the General page than I do posting crap in the Rumpus Room. But when I saw Lori shouting "I WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP!" it really struck a nerve with me.

 

As I said before, I can only dream of having the nightmare she is having now. I hope she realizes how fortunate she is, and I think she would be better off by putting things in perspetive and realizing how much good fortune she has to enjoy these days.

 

Rubber stamp from SF INS: $20

Kissing your spouse good night: priceless

[Jim - Portland, USA]

I read your post in " Yan's Progress". I did not like it at all! You clearly pointed out Yan planned a divorce even before she came to the U.S. and expressed your positive doubt that Michael has been used. Those judgements were only based on the fact that you know neither of them in person, or long enough.

I based my judgement upon the fact that Yan asked for a divorce less than 72 hours after their marriage. She never asked to end their relationship before their marriage, but in less than 72 afterwards she wanted a divorce. Hmm. Makes one think. Then she continued to repeatedly ask for a divorce several times after their marriage too. I thought that was kind of strange.

 

So when I said that seemed unusual, you thought I was wrong to say so? If I remember correctly, I think I told Michael to not brush her requests for a divorce under the carpet, and that he should give some serious consideration to the reason why she was repeatedly asking for a divorce. Was that bad advice to give? Seemed like the logical thing to do.

[garagegods]

I'm sorry if I ruffled some feathers, but I don't regret anything I said.  I'm not discounting that fact that Lori had (and is having) immigration struggles.

 

What really gets me is her abuse of the word nightmare.  I still fail to see how she has any right to desrcibe her situation as a nightmare!  She is with her husband now, how bad can it be?!  I realize Lori is not a native English speaker, so okay I have to cut her slack for perhaps not using the correct word.  Fine.  But I wished she would have chosen a better word to describe her situation - inconvenient, worrisome, troublesome, bothersome, whatever.  But when she used the word 'nightmare' to describe the way things are for her now.  That's what ticked me off.

 

She shouted to all of us "I WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP!"  Then she asked for someone to shed light on her situation, and that's what I did.  I tried to put things in perspective for her.  I make no apologoes for that.  She should be grateful for the situation she is in now.  It seems to me that she is already taking her good fortune for granted, and it bothers me that she has so much to be happy for, yet she still considers her situation to be so terrible.

 

Anyone who has been around CFL for awhile knows that I help plenty of people - I answer as many questions as I can, helping others who are further back in the process.  I spend way more time helping people on the General page than I do posting crap in the Rumpus Room.  But when I saw Lori shouting "I WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP!" it really struck a nerve with me.

 

As I said before, I can only dream of having the nightmare she is having now.  I hope she realizes how fortunate she is, and I think she would be better off by putting things in perspetive and realizing how much good fortune she has to enjoy these days.

 

Rubber stamp from SF INS: $20

Kissing your spouse good night: priceless

you are hopeless,

 

And you no nothing of the AOS process and how difficult the adjustment is for people new to this country. Untill they get there stamp and green card they are in limbo!!! they are not treated as a resident in the U.S. and cant even travel or visit China to see there families, There is a huge culture shock our wives go through coming here to be with U.S. and leaving there country and familys behind. So your negative comments have nothing to add just plain bashing and selfishness

 

so FO

[Razbre]

Well, here I go again.....probably stirring the pot, but when I read it...it just pissed me off. (can I use that word here?) anybody ever talked that way to Yunling...it would piss me off more, and my question being: so you will be just that much more understanding if your lady should post a question out of frustration...and some says to her what you said, totally rude, inconsiderate and just plain nasty, that won't be a problem with you? I'm not trying to give you a hard time...really....but sheesh guy....seems no-one has the right to whine....as long as you are waiting....

since I am a fairly new guy here...can some maybe enlighten me to the 'forbidden' words that I can't use to describe my situation on a given day? 'Nightmare' is one! any others to avoid? ummmmmmmm.....bad dream ok? terrible dream? Rapid Eye Movement?

[garagegodness]

Let me explain what the lovely stamp on your passport does.

1. Your sweetie goes to a local school. She has to pay non- resident tuition. Can be 10 times more than what a resident is paying. She says i have been living here for a year i am a resident, school says your passport only shows your entry date. We need the INS document to verify your status. Well, if you do not mind paying 10 times more, it is not a problem.

2. Your sweeties receives a call from her family in China. They need her to be back for an emergent visit. She says, oh, i cannot leave the U.S. without a green card or a AP ( which may also take 3 months to get) or I would not be able to return to the U.S. If you want to give up everything in the U.S. for your sweetie, you definitely can go back with her to China and start the long visa process again.

3. Your sweetie is looking for a job. The company tells her, sorry we cannot hire you unless you prove your legal work permit. An employment auth. document takes about 3 months to get, and it is good for 1 year. Fine, she can stay home and be a housework and depend on your income if you can support the whole family.

well, you are just being inconsiderate. You think all she needs is being with you, but boy there are a lot more in life to take care than just being together. Maybe you would have a different thought if you could think in her shoes.