Idiots guide to Chinese women

[warpedbored]

I been married to one for 13 1/3 years now and I have never won one yet. Even when we both know it's her fault I still have to apologize. Except for one time and you could have knocked me over with a feather.

 

Larry

Well Larry it looks like you've got the high score. 1 in 13 1/2 years is pretty impressive. She must have been feeling generous that day. Bing and I have been married for 9 years and together for 11 and like Mick I have yet to win one. I don't even try anymore. Whoever invented the phrase "yes dear" should have won the Nobel Peace Prize.

[tsap seui]

I think Larry is going to be the undisputed champion here. Maybe a CFL medal for valor and his one victory should be awarded him. I am in awe.

 

Wenyan has never given me the thing about "another Chinese woman said it so it must be right" but me win a discussion with her....no way. As well, I admit I have never won a discussion on a point with any of my wives, or even with my daughter from the time she was 4 years old. I may have some small talents in my DNA but winning a discussion with a woman is not one of them....make it a Chinese woman and I'm sittin' out in the back row of the bleachers with a finger up my nose diggin' for gold.

 

tsap seui

[Nate21224]

What is even more frustrating is when I explain something to her and she replies with "Eh I don't think that is right." or "I don't believe that." She will ussually ask one of her chinese friends and ussually they say the same exact thing I said. Once again I will be wrong and her friend will be right... even though we said the same thing. I guess that means I still lose on a technicality.

[amberjack1234]

OH I want's my Chinese Peace Prize. On the other hand jes send the Mao's. Actually just hearing her say it just one time was priceless and I didn't even have to argue to get it.

 

Larry

[warpedbored]

What is even more frustrating is when I explain something to her and she replies with "Eh I don't think that is right." or "I don't believe that." She will ussually ask one of her chinese friends and ussually they say the same exact thing I said. Once again I will be wrong and her friend will be right... even though we said the same thing. I guess that means I still lose on a technicality.

This is what is known here on CFL as "the Chinese expert syndrome". I think most of us have been through it. Eventually if it turns out enough times that you were right and the Chinese expert wrong she might begin to realize you might actually know something after all. Don't expect her to admit it. The trick then is to pretend it never happened so she doesn't lose face.

[NickF]

Had a similar discussion with ChunMei last night. She wants to buy a new rice cooker to bring home with her. (Have no clue how she planned to carry it on the airplane.) I suggested that it probably wouldn't work on US electricity, and she said her Chinese friend in Florida bought one and it works fine. I then said that she might want to ask the people at the store if the one she wanted would run on 110 volt US power. They told her it wouldn't, but she still plans to buy it.

 

OK, then; I know when to shut up.

[Fu Lai]

OK, then; I know when to shut up.

 

Shutting up is a difficult but useful skill in these cases

[tsap seui]

Oh my, I must make an admission here. I have committed a grave sin for our team boyz. You may want to just kick me off of CFL...sniff, sniff, and I couldn't blame you if'n ya did.

 

I have allowed the "other chinese woman" to be right. Yes, I did, I exclaim with a red face, which is even redder than my dadgum neck.

 

I was talking with a lawyer about a real estate matter a few years ago and as we had both been in combat in the military the subject changed over to PTSD. He asked me if I had ever heard of SSDI. I hadn't heard of it and guessed it had something to do with social security. Anyhow, he went on his computer and started a claim for me. I wound up getting SSDI back in 2007, and I told Wenyan about it.

 

Being a reader of 001 it wasn't long before Wenyan told me that she and Fengqi could get in on my SSDI benefit. I thought it was absurd that they could get on my benefit, and without any knowledge of SSDI I told her that was crazy. She repeatedly told me to look into i as a woman on 001 had told another Chinese woman that she was entitled to her husband's SSDI.

 

Lord help me, I never looked into it and brushed it off...until....one day I was reading a veterans benefits site and caught a post where a feller was talking about his wife and child's SSDI payments....WHAT???? Shore nuff, I asked questions and looked up the law....they are entitled. I was happy on the one side and scared to death on the other, as I had to face my dear lil' rabbit with this news...not to mention that my dumb butt had let "the other Chinese woman said"...fry my bacon. so to speak.

 

With huge lumps on my poor hed, Wenyan and I went to our local SSA office this past January to file the claim. Not only did my headache, I had to endure 45 minutes of driving and being yelled at "I told you so years ago", over and over and did I say over?

 

Boyz, let me explain....my wife, like most of your Chinese wives is operating, not with a regular brain with grey mass, no, she has a 200,000GB hard drive high speed computer with double that amount of memory in her skull. While me, I have a worn out 50mb hard drive with maybe 20mb memory....on a good day, slowly smokin' away in my hed. To compare me to Homer Simpson would be to disgrace Homer Simpson. I am stupid beyond all belief.

 

The only reason I am alive and able to type this admission to you good fellers today is that the SSA laws gave us back pay to the point where we only lost out on maybe 4 months of their benefits.

 

I will never live long enough for Wenyan to forget or let this slip of mine disappear....EVER!!! I am resigned, for the rest of my conscious life, to the fact that the "Chinese woman on 001" is always right".

 

I have done a great disservice to you ol' boyz. My pain and humiliation can never been forgiven and will never be enough for what I have done to our team. My life will forever be spent in chasing down what "the other Chinese woman on 001" said.

 

tsap seui

sigh.......may none of you ever make my sad mistake

[Mick]

Oh my, I must make an admission here. I have committed a grave sin for our team boyz. You may want to just kick me off of CFL...sniff, sniff, and I couldn't blame you if'n ya did.

 

I have allowed the "other chinese woman" to be right. Yes, I did, I exclaim with a red face, which is even redder than my dadgum neck.

 

I was talking with a lawyer about a real estate matter a few years ago and as we had both been in combat in the military the subject changed over to PTSD. He asked me if I had ever heard of SSDI. I hadn't heard of it and guessed it had something to do with social security. Anyhow, he went on his computer and started a claim for me. I wound up getting SSDI back in 2007, and I told Wenyan about it.

 

Being a reader of 001 it wasn't long before Wenyan told me that she and Fengqi could get in on my SSDI benefit. I thought it was absurd that they could get on my benefit, and without any knowledge of SSDI I told her that was crazy. She repeatedly told me to look into i as a woman on 001 had told another Chinese woman that she was entitled to her husband's SSDI.

 

Lord help me, I never looked into it and brushed it off...until....one day I was reading a veterans benefits site and caught a post where a feller was talking about his wife and child's SSDI payments....WHAT???? Shore nuff, I asked questions and looked up the law....they are entitled. I was happy on the one side and scared to death on the other, as I had to face my dear lil' rabbit with this news...not to mention that my dumb butt had let "the other Chinese woman said"...fry my bacon. so to speak.

 

With huge lumps on my poor hed, Wenyan and I went to our local SSA office this past January to file the claim. Not only did my headache, I had to endure 45 minutes of driving and being yelled at "I told you so years ago", over and over and did I say over?

 

Boyz, let me explain....my wife, like most of your Chinese wives is operating, not with a regular brain with grey mass, no, she has a 200,000GB hard drive high speed computer with double that amount of memory in her skull. While me, I have a worn out 50mb hard drive with maybe 20mb memory....on a good day, slowly smokin' away in my hed. To compare me to Homer Simpson would be to disgrace Homer Simpson. I am stupid beyond all belief.

 

The only reason I am alive and able to type this admission to you good fellers today is that the SSA laws gave us back pay to the point where we only lost out on maybe 4 months of their benefits.

 

I will never live long enough for Wenyan to forget or let this slip of mine disappear....EVER!!! I am resigned, for the rest of my conscious life, to the fact that the "Chinese woman on 001" is always right".

 

I have done a great disservice to you ol' boyz. My pain and humiliation can never been forgiven and will never be enough for what I have done to our team. My life will forever be spent in chasing down what "the other Chinese woman on 001" said.

 

tsap seui

sigh.......may none of you ever make my sad mistake

Holy Macarolli tsapper - you dun gone and got yoreself in one hellofamess and that ain't no lie - or as my old man always used to say - "You ain't just a bird terdin'" Now I don't figger any of the good fellers here on CFL will hold it agin ya - I know I shore don't. Heck, there but fer the grace of God go I, ifin' you get muh driff....Yore more serious problem is the fack that the lil rabbit ain't never gonna let you forgit about it - not ever. Yore nose will get rubbed in this any old time she wants to settle a disagreement most ricky tick.

 

Now, ifin' she was to bump her head fallin' off a ladder or ridin' in the car and you havin' to slam on the brakes real quick to keep from hittin' a possum or a skunk, she might come down with that thar amuneezer or whutever it iz they cawl at air thaing whar she cain't remember nuthin'. Course, if you try to set up her gittin' whacked on the noggin, you gots to be very karefull cawse you don't wanna cawse no kunkushun or anythaing like at rite air.

 

I'll do sum cogitatin' on the matter tsapper and see ifin' I can come up with sum better solution - but frum whar I set, I don't thaink there is a remedy to thuh pickle you dun got yoreself in. And it could happen to any one of us at any time. Those other Chinese experts are always out there, lurkin' in the bushes just a'waitin' to give some sage advice or infermashun that runs counter to whut we say. It is a mighty slippery slope fer shore.....

Hang in there good buddy - ifin' you needs to take a road trip to help gets yoreself over the hump, so tuh speak, come on down cheer to Tennerbama and lay low fer a spell....

[credzba]

Oh my, I must make an admission here. I have committed a grave sin for our team boyz. You may want to just kick me off of CFL...sniff, sniff, and I couldn't blame you if'n ya did.

 

I have allowed the "other chinese woman" to be right. Yes, I did, I exclaim with a red face, which is even redder than my dadgum neck.

 

I was talking with a lawyer about a real estate matter a few years ago and as we had both been in combat in the military the subject changed over to PTSD. He asked me if I had ever heard of SSDI. I hadn't heard of it and guessed it had something to do with social security. Anyhow, he went on his computer and started a claim for me. I wound up getting SSDI back in 2007, and I told Wenyan about it.

 

Being a reader of 001 it wasn't long before Wenyan told me that she and Fengqi could get in on my SSDI benefit. I thought it was absurd that they could get on my benefit, and without any knowledge of SSDI I told her that was crazy. She repeatedly told me to look into i as a woman on 001 had told another Chinese woman that she was entitled to her husband's SSDI.

 

Lord help me, I never looked into it and brushed it off...until....one day I was reading a veterans benefits site and caught a post where a feller was talking about his wife and child's SSDI payments....WHAT???? Shore nuff, I asked questions and looked up the law....they are entitled. I was happy on the one side and scared to death on the other, as I had to face my dear lil' rabbit with this news...not to mention that my dumb butt had let "the other Chinese woman said"...fry my bacon. so to speak.

 

With huge lumps on my poor hed, Wenyan and I went to our local SSA office this past January to file the claim. Not only did my headache, I had to endure 45 minutes of driving and being yelled at "I told you so years ago", over and over and did I say over?

 

Boyz, let me explain....my wife, like most of your Chinese wives is operating, not with a regular brain with grey mass, no, she has a 200,000GB hard drive high speed computer with double that amount of memory in her skull. While me, I have a worn out 50mb hard drive with maybe 20mb memory....on a good day, slowly smokin' away in my hed. To compare me to Homer Simpson would be to disgrace Homer Simpson. I am stupid beyond all belief.

 

The only reason I am alive and able to type this admission to you good fellers today is that the SSA laws gave us back pay to the point where we only lost out on maybe 4 months of their benefits.

 

I will never live long enough for Wenyan to forget or let this slip of mine disappear....EVER!!! I am resigned, for the rest of my conscious life, to the fact that the "Chinese woman on 001" is always right".

 

I have done a great disservice to you ol' boyz. My pain and humiliation can never been forgiven and will never be enough for what I have done to our team. My life will forever be spent in chasing down what "the other Chinese woman on 001" said.

 

tsap seui

sigh.......may none of you ever make my sad mistake

 

The problem is.. and Tsap is just a viktim of this ..

The experts only got to be right once, but we got to be right every time.

 

Sooner or later, we is gonna fail to be right, and that is the end.

Tsap .. your wife is gone, so you might as well practice.

 

Get out your inflatable cow, and start saying "Yes Dear, I know you and your friends are right because you were right last time"

Repeat it over and over until it comes out of your mouth every time it is open.

 

By the time Rabbit comes home, you wont even have to think, and you'll say the right thing.

[Fu Lai]

OMG

... Being a reader of 001 ...

 

My condolences

[tsap seui]

 

Oh my, I must make an admission here. I have committed a grave sin for our team boyz. You may want to just kick me off of CFL...sniff, sniff, and I couldn't blame you if'n ya did.

 

I have allowed the "other chinese woman" to be right. Yes, I did, I exclaim with a red face, which is even redder than my dadgum neck.

 

I was talking with a lawyer about a real estate matter a few years ago and as we had both been in combat in the military the subject changed over to PTSD. He asked me if I had ever heard of SSDI. I hadn't heard of it and guessed it had something to do with social security. Anyhow, he went on his computer and started a claim for me. I wound up getting SSDI back in 2007, and I told Wenyan about it.

 

Being a reader of 001 it wasn't long before Wenyan told me that she and Fengqi could get in on my SSDI benefit. I thought it was absurd that they could get on my benefit, and without any knowledge of SSDI I told her that was crazy. She repeatedly told me to look into i as a woman on 001 had told another Chinese woman that she was entitled to her husband's SSDI.

 

Lord help me, I never looked into it and brushed it off...until....one day I was reading a veterans benefits site and caught a post where a feller was talking about his wife and child's SSDI payments....WHAT???? Shore nuff, I asked questions and looked up the law....they are entitled. I was happy on the one side and scared to death on the other, as I had to face my dear lil' rabbit with this news...not to mention that my dumb butt had let "the other Chinese woman said"...fry my bacon. so to speak.

 

With huge lumps on my poor hed, Wenyan and I went to our local SSA office this past January to file the claim. Not only did my headache, I had to endure 45 minutes of driving and being yelled at "I told you so years ago", over and over and did I say over?

 

Boyz, let me explain....my wife, like most of your Chinese wives is operating, not with a regular brain with grey mass, no, she has a 200,000GB hard drive high speed computer with double that amount of memory in her skull. While me, I have a worn out 50mb hard drive with maybe 20mb memory....on a good day, slowly smokin' away in my hed. To compare me to Homer Simpson would be to disgrace Homer Simpson. I am stupid beyond all belief.

 

The only reason I am alive and able to type this admission to you good fellers today is that the SSA laws gave us back pay to the point where we only lost out on maybe 4 months of their benefits.

 

I will never live long enough for Wenyan to forget or let this slip of mine disappear....EVER!!! I am resigned, for the rest of my conscious life, to the fact that the "Chinese woman on 001" is always right".

 

I have done a great disservice to you ol' boyz. My pain and humiliation can never been forgiven and will never be enough for what I have done to our team. My life will forever be spent in chasing down what "the other Chinese woman on 001" said.

 

tsap seui

sigh.......may none of you ever make my sad mistake

 

The problem is.. and Tsap is just a viktim of this ..

The experts only got to be right once, but we got to be right every time.

 

Sooner or later, we is gonna fail to be right, and that is the end.

Tsap .. your wife is gone, so you might as well practice.

 

Get out your inflatable cow, and start saying "Yes Dear, I know you and your friends are right because you were right last time"

Repeat it over and over until it comes out of your mouth every time it is open.

 

By the time Rabbit comes home, you wont even have to think, and you'll say the right thing.

 

Hey Credz, about that blow up cow. When I dropped the dynamic duo off at the airport, my first deed was to blow up the cow for the ride back to Pennsyltucky...I got it blowed about half way up until the airport cop told me to "stop that and move along". I wuz right there in the drop-off zone tryin' to get air into ol' Bessie as quickly as I could.

 

You've never steered me wrong, I'll practice my lines like a proper thespian...."yes dear, I know you and your friends are right, because you were right the last time."

 

What a hilarious life, eh?

 

tsap seui

[Thomas Promise]

 

 

I don't get either one of those but it is certainly implied that is for sure. I am retired and was so when she came here 13 years ago. So I live on 65% of my basic pay now. I had to open up a jet-ski business to satisfy that GREED for money. My wife does not want ANYTHING only money. Now just this last weekend the brother in law is asking for $100,000 us dollars to buy an new home. The only thing is that he don't want to work for it. Of course you know that I will be sending it to him post haste right.

 

Larry

What is it with thinking all Americans are filthy rich??

 

My wife has been on this thing about paying mum $10,000 to $20,000 to help pay for an apartment.

 

We are barely making enough to pay the bills on just my income, and it seems to be a struggle getting her a job that she feels pays her enough.

 

This is one thing that makes me nuts.

 

Me to Dan. The wife dropped the bomb last Saturday night when she called her parents and told them that there would not be a check in the mail for $100,000. Here parents were going to give him 600,000 RMB but now that we won't contribute that is off because it won't be enough. He don't want part of it he wants it ALL.

 

Now we are both SOB's

 

Larry

 

When relatives or friend have to bought they make a very poor ROI, return on investment.

[tsap seui]

 

Oh my, I must make an admission here. I have committed a grave sin for our team boyz. You may want to just kick me off of CFL...sniff, sniff, and I couldn't blame you if'n ya did.

 

I have allowed the "other chinese woman" to be right. Yes, I did, I exclaim with a red face, which is even redder than my dadgum neck.

 

I was talking with a lawyer about a real estate matter a few years ago and as we had both been in combat in the military the subject changed over to PTSD. He asked me if I had ever heard of SSDI. I hadn't heard of it and guessed it had something to do with social security. Anyhow, he went on his computer and started a claim for me. I wound up getting SSDI back in 2007, and I told Wenyan about it.

 

Being a reader of 001 it wasn't long before Wenyan told me that she and Fengqi could get in on my SSDI benefit. I thought it was absurd that they could get on my benefit, and without any knowledge of SSDI I told her that was crazy. She repeatedly told me to look into i as a woman on 001 had told another Chinese woman that she was entitled to her husband's SSDI.

 

Lord help me, I never looked into it and brushed it off...until....one day I was reading a veterans benefits site and caught a post where a feller was talking about his wife and child's SSDI payments....WHAT???? Shore nuff, I asked questions and looked up the law....they are entitled. I was happy on the one side and scared to death on the other, as I had to face my dear lil' rabbit with this news...not to mention that my dumb butt had let "the other Chinese woman said"...fry my bacon. so to speak.

 

With huge lumps on my poor hed, Wenyan and I went to our local SSA office this past January to file the claim. Not only did my headache, I had to endure 45 minutes of driving and being yelled at "I told you so years ago", over and over and did I say over?

 

Boyz, let me explain....my wife, like most of your Chinese wives is operating, not with a regular brain with grey mass, no, she has a 200,000GB hard drive high speed computer with double that amount of memory in her skull. While me, I have a worn out 50mb hard drive with maybe 20mb memory....on a good day, slowly smokin' away in my hed. To compare me to Homer Simpson would be to disgrace Homer Simpson. I am stupid beyond all belief.

 

The only reason I am alive and able to type this admission to you good fellers today is that the SSA laws gave us back pay to the point where we only lost out on maybe 4 months of their benefits.

 

I will never live long enough for Wenyan to forget or let this slip of mine disappear....EVER!!! I am resigned, for the rest of my conscious life, to the fact that the "Chinese woman on 001" is always right".

 

I have done a great disservice to you ol' boyz. My pain and humiliation can never been forgiven and will never be enough for what I have done to our team. My life will forever be spent in chasing down what "the other Chinese woman on 001" said.

 

tsap seui

sigh.......may none of you ever make my sad mistake

Holy Macarolli tsapper - you dun gone and got yoreself in one hellofamess and that ain't no lie - or as my old man always used to say - "You ain't just a bird terdin'" Now I don't figger any of the good fellers here on CFL will hold it agin ya - I know I shore don't. Heck, there but fer the grace of God go I, ifin' you get muh driff....Yore more serious problem is the fack that the lil rabbit ain't never gonna let you forgit about it - not ever. Yore nose will get rubbed in this any old time she wants to settle a disagreement most ricky tick.

 

Now, ifin' she was to bump her head fallin' off a ladder or ridin' in the car and you havin' to slam on the brakes real quick to keep from hittin' a possum or a skunk, she might come down with that thar amuneezer or whutever it iz they cawl at air thaing whar she cain't remember nuthin'. Course, if you try to set up her gittin' whacked on the noggin, you gots to be very karefull cawse you don't wanna cawse no kunkushun or anythaing like at rite air.

 

I'll do sum cogitatin' on the matter tsapper and see ifin' I can come up with sum better solution - but frum whar I set, I don't thaink there is a remedy to thuh pickle you dun got yoreself in. And it could happen to any one of us at any time. Those other Chinese experts are always out there, lurkin' in the bushes just a'waitin' to give some sage advice or infermashun that runs counter to whut we say. It is a mighty slippery slope fer shore.....

Hang in there good buddy - ifin' you needs to take a road trip to help gets yoreself over the hump, so tuh speak, come on down cheer to Tennerbama and lay low fer a spell....

 

It's a funny life, fer sure, eh Mick.

 

If I would only have listened to what theat 001 woman had said back when Wenyan read it...at least investigated it, then they would have have gotten even more of the benefit money they were entitled to. NO, I had read the stories on here about the problems with 001 "advice" and jess thought, that woman is crazy, who ever heard of sech a thang. Now I've got both feet in the flames, and a mop at my back....sigh.

 

I gotta say in all honesty, there probably ain't nobody who knows about the America SSA and it's benefits more so than a Chinartuckian woman. Yeah, there is some crap put out on 001 but they've got some real down and out nitty gritty on there too.

 

Larry and Dan....this whole thing you guys are experiencing has been a great surprise to me about this aspect of our life wiht our wives and their families.. Who, in their right mind even dreams up this stuff....and actually expects us to deliver such nonsense. Narcissism comes to mind. My wife won't stand for it and I saw it irk her off to no end. She read the riot act to both her parents, and to her niece. I'm happy to see ma and ba and Wenyan sit down and have a good long talk, and get back on track with each other. And, our plan to buy a deeply discounted ring f(1,300.00 price tag) or $525usd has covered our 10,000rmb "debt, loan, or whatever dumbassed family committment" the brother and his daughter (it's really her doing) wants Wenyan and her oldest brother to get stuck with.

 

I know how you guys feel and I hope things work out with no bumps in the road for you guys, or anyone else having something like this thrown in their faces....and actually "expected" to pony up. Thanks for sharing your stories.

 

I consider myself lucky that Wenyan has HAD ENOUGH of this crap (before I met her even) and she is making it well known to the family. Heck....I was gonna give up much more money than she was....almost got myself in trouble for that. I dunno man, I feel lucky to be an American to to have had luck in business, I don't mind helping out, but this "demanding" stuff is just silly beyond belief. At times when Wenyan was laying all of this out to me I thought....what the hell, were the brothers and that niece smiling at me and being so nice just because they thought they won the lottery when Wenyan brought me home?

 

Family is first, but this sort of stuff is beyond any logical limit.

 

tsap seui

[amberjack1234]

You got it Ronny. I think that they got it too. That first night ma ask the wife what the hell have you been doing since you have been in America. My wife answered taking care of my husband.

 

Larry