wife's sister wants to get online with the hopes of finding a husb

[chilton747]

Yes, he is available alright but fortunately for him he is not interested in Chinese women.

 

Two or three of them are you guys crazy or sontin' What yawl been smokin" Get a grip on it brothers.

 

Larry

Bother Larry it sounds as if you are not forthwilling to reccomend Chinese women to any one. Have you had enough?

I am not recomending for sure. I am certain that he would never take the time to invest in a relationship with a Chinese woman that is required. He just plain does not have the time for that. Like I said before he has 4 cell phones on him all the time just to keep up with his business. I am sure that he puts in something like 12 hours days sometimes more. When would he ever find the time to deal with all the complexities that a Chinese wife would bring to the table?

 

I love my wife very much but I can tell you right now I would never go the Chinese route again. To many things in the background.

 

Larry

 

You're not sayin that they cramp your style are ya?

[True Blue]

Not sure if your reply was to Yuanyang's niece or my step-daughter or both. I can't reply for him, but I can say my stepdaughter is NOT too selective.

 

She (my stepdaughter) is looking for

(1) someone who is "available", e.g., a divorced or single man - she does not want to live the life of a mistress to a man who is still married.

(2) a guy around her age (27) ---- she's looking at an age range of 24-40 years. She is not looking for a husband my age (50's) as those married with large age disparities know that can be challenging. Also if she were looking for someone my age or older she might raise a red flag as a "green card seeker".

(3) college educated (bachelors degree is fine) - she has a graduate degree and probably wouldn't do too well with a farmer from the countryside. A somewhat nerdy guy who likes reading, computers, travel and sports would be a good match.

(4) hopefully, a nice guy - looks not too important.

 

If she was looking in Antarctica she might need to lower her requirements. But for China and America, I don't think that is too much to ask. Same experience as Yuanyang's niece - no real prospects around thus far.

 

True Blue

------

Some advice needed

 

My 27 year old stepdaughter has had a little success on Match.com. She notes she is currently in Beijing many times within her profile, but is listed under Tampa, Florida (where my wife and I live) as there is no way to indicate a non-US address on that site.

 

She has had a bit of interest from Chinese guys mainly Taiwanese/Singapore/Hong Kong guys looking for a traditional wife and from foreign students who maybe think she is a US Citizen and appear like they may be looking for a green card. But she really has not had much response from non-Chinese guys even though she would probably prefer an American guy.

 

Why is that? There are a few young guys on this site with Chinese wives and fiances and a few young gals here with Chinese husbands and fiances. But in general it appears that most of us here are 50 and over. Why the (relative) lack of interest in Chinese gals by younger American guys? Is it because they come off as "nerdy"? traditional? not into the bar scene?

 

I will admit my stepdaughters match.com pictures are on the conservative side and not showing off as much as some of the bikini or even more "risque" pictures you can find on some dating web sites (a few of the pics on Chinese love links even show girls in lingerie) ...or so I've heard

 

Her hobbies are reading, travel, exploring, hiking, sports. They don't include clubbing, getting drunk or pole dancing, Could that be the problem?

 

My stepdaughter is a nice, well educated, conservative, respectful, hard working, studious, possibly even borderline "a little nerdy", traditional girl. I think she is decent looking and her pictures are good (you can probably search match.com for girls 27 Tampa, who speak English & Mandarin to lock onto her profile if interested in seeing the pictures she used).

 

So why no interest from American guys? She hasn't even heard from many ABC (American Born Chinese). Does it take some bikini/lingerie photos to grab the interest of most American guys? What's the verdict here?

Edited March 12, 2012 by True Blue (see edit history)

[Doug]

Not sure if your reply was to Yuanyang's niece or my step-daughter or both. I can't reply for him, but I can say my stepdaughter is NOT too selective.

 

She (my stepdaughter) is looking for

(1) someone who is "available", e.g., a divorced or single man - she does not want to live the life of a mistress to a man who is still married.

(2) a guy around her age (27) ---- she's looking at an age range of 24-40 years. She is not looking for a husband my age (50's) as those married with large age disparities know that can be challenging. Also if she were looking for someone my age or older she might raise a red flag as a "green card seeker".

(3) college educated (bachelors degree is fine) - she has a graduate degree and probably wouldn't do too well with a farmer from the countryside. A somewhat nerdy guy who likes reading, computers, travel and sports would be a good match.

(4) hopefully, a nice guy - looks not too important.

 

If she was looking in Antarctica she might need to lower her requirements. But for China and America, I don't think that is too much to ask. Same experience as Yuanyang's niece - no real prospects around thus far.

 

True Blue

------

Some advice needed

 

My 27 year old stepdaughter has had a little success on Match.com. She notes she is currently in Beijing many times within her profile, but is listed under Tampa, Florida (where my wife and I live) as there is no way to indicate a non-US address on that site.

 

She has had a bit of interest from Chinese guys mainly Taiwanese/Singapore/Hong Kong guys looking for a traditional wife and from foreign students who maybe think she is a US Citizen and appear like they may be looking for a green card. But she really has not had much response from non-Chinese guys even though she would probably prefer an American guy.

 

Why is that? There are a few young guys on this site with Chinese wives and fiances and a few young gals here with Chinese husbands and fiances. But in general it appears that most of us here are 50 and over. Why the (relative) lack of interest in Chinese gals by younger American guys? Is it because they come off as "nerdy"? traditional? not into the bar scene?

 

I will admit my stepdaughters match.com pictures are on the conservative side and not showing off as much as some of the bikini or even more "risque" pictures you can find on some dating web sites (a few of the pics on Chinese love links even show girls in lingerie) ...or so I've heard

 

Her hobbies are reading, travel, exploring, hiking, sports. They don't include clubbing, getting drunk or pole dancing, Could that be the problem?

 

My stepdaughter is a nice, well educated, conservative, respectful, hard working, studious, possibly even borderline "a little nerdy", traditional girl. I think she is decent looking and her pictures are good (you can probably search match.com for girls 27 Tampa, who speak English & Mandarin to lock onto her profile if interested in seeing the pictures she used).

 

So why no interest from American guys? She hasn't even heard from many ABC (American Born Chinese). Does it take some bikini/lingerie photos to grab the interest of most American guys? What's the verdict here?

I was chating and emails and talking with a lot of ladies that I met on www.chineselovelinks.com , some her age. I would recomend something like this instead of match.com which I tried as well. I don't think a man looking for a wife would like to see her in a bikini or pole dancing. There are men in China looking for sex period, and then they will see. Women have been very disapinted in this.

I think since 2008 the economy has limited the number of men overall, compared to my first time in 2005. A man had to be more competitive in 2005. Now the ladies get almost no contact from men, so they tell me.

A girl needs to be careful of the scam guys acting too fast on things.

[Amaro]

Not sure if your reply was to Yuanyang's niece or my step-daughter or both. I can't reply for him, but I can say my stepdaughter is NOT too selective.

 

She (my stepdaughter) is looking for

(1) someone who is "available", e.g., a divorced or single man - she does not want to live the life of a mistress to a man who is still married.

(2) a guy around her age (27) ---- she's looking at an age range of 24-40 years. She is not looking for a husband my age (50's) as those married with large age disparities know that can be challenging. Also if she were looking for someone my age or older she might raise a red flag as a "green card seeker".

(3) college educated (bachelors degree is fine) - she has a graduate degree and probably wouldn't do too well with a farmer from the countryside. A somewhat nerdy guy who likes reading, computers, travel and sports would be a good match.

(4) hopefully, a nice guy - looks not too important.

 

If she was looking in Antarctica she might need to lower her requirements. But for China and America, I don't think that is too much to ask. Same experience as Yuanyang's niece - no real prospects around thus far.

 

True Blue

------

Some advice needed

 

My 27 year old stepdaughter has had a little success on Match.com. She notes she is currently in Beijing many times within her profile, but is listed under Tampa, Florida (where my wife and I live) as there is no way to indicate a non-US address on that site.

 

She has had a bit of interest from Chinese guys mainly Taiwanese/Singapore/Hong Kong guys looking for a traditional wife and from foreign students who maybe think she is a US Citizen and appear like they may be looking for a green card. But she really has not had much response from non-Chinese guys even though she would probably prefer an American guy.

 

Why is that? There are a few young guys on this site with Chinese wives and fiances and a few young gals here with Chinese husbands and fiances. But in general it appears that most of us here are 50 and over. Why the (relative) lack of interest in Chinese gals by younger American guys? Is it because they come off as "nerdy"? traditional? not into the bar scene?

 

I will admit my stepdaughters match.com pictures are on the conservative side and not showing off as much as some of the bikini or even more "risque" pictures you can find on some dating web sites (a few of the pics on Chinese love links even show girls in lingerie) ...or so I've heard

 

Her hobbies are reading, travel, exploring, hiking, sports. They don't include clubbing, getting drunk or pole dancing, Could that be the problem?

 

My stepdaughter is a nice, well educated, conservative, respectful, hard working, studious, possibly even borderline "a little nerdy", traditional girl. I think she is decent looking and her pictures are good (you can probably search match.com for girls 27 Tampa, who speak English & Mandarin to lock onto her profile if interested in seeing the pictures she used).

 

So why no interest from American guys? She hasn't even heard from many ABC (American Born Chinese). Does it take some bikini/lingerie photos to grab the interest of most American guys? What's the verdict here?

 

Maybe I can add my 2 cents to this. It seems you want the opinion of a young person on here, I will be 25 in a few months.

 

This is my take on it. I think the #1 reason for a lack of interest from young american men is because of finances and lack of being established. Our society as a whole is delaying marriage well into their 30's now because of a higher education demands. The older crowd (50+) are probably more established then us, already did the whole college thing, probably has a decent job to live comfortably. I dont know too many people in their 20's right now that would want to take on a big responsibility like petitioning for a girl oversees, let alone take care of her on his salary when she arrived. The only exception to this is unless they have parents that support the whole idea and are willing to provide that support for their son and their new wife.

 

Another thing is our culture. My wife is the complete opposite of me, but we do have a few things in common such as long term goals and where we want to be in the future. However, when it comes to going out to clubs/bars and partying till the wee hours in the morning, she definitely does not ride that bus. I have to do a lot of persuading to get her to go out, and mind you she is 22 years old. She does enjoy herself when she does go out though and loves to dance. I think another thing that might scare away young american men is the fact that they might be supporting this person by themselves for many years, especially if the Chinese spouse English is limited. These are some things I considered when I first met my wife, but she is going to start college soon and earn a degree in something, either way, I don't want her to rely on me and that may be a personal preference, but I wonder how many other men think like me?

 

Another thing is anyone that is established in the younger years, they probably met a nice girl in college or their work place therefore probably limits the pool of potential candidates. In my opinion if she really wanted to meet an young american man, then her best bet is to meet him in China. Well I hope my post was somewhat useful and I didn't come off the wrong way on any aspect.

Edited March 12, 2012 by Amaro (see edit history)

[tsap seui]

Amaro, buddy that is one of the most informative posts I've seen in a long time. You clearly explained your point and answered the question. Ya done good Ma-rine.

 

tsap seui

[Doug]

Amaro, buddy that is one of the most informative posts I've seen in a long time. You clearly explained your point and answered the question. Ya done good Ma-rine.

 

tsap seui

Me thought it good too, answers most of questions huh?

[chilton747]

Well I think we are gonna try asianfriendfinder and see what happens. She is looking for an American man perhaps 36-46 years old. We'll see what we come up with.

[Zhou Zhou]

We just returned from China and a month of happiness for Lao po and for me feeling like a mushroom...bored outta my skin. But while there I enjoyed our 29 yoa niece's company several times. She talked Lao po into helping her find a Western man to become friends with. Of course the job was delegated to me. (aka the big mushroom). As for the niece she's got a great personality and a lot of fun, a real keeper. She runs the family business, is a college grad and began law school. She is very musical and at karaoke she sings like, Celine Dion. She likes to travel and is adventurous when she can take off the business woman hat. Her English is fair but with a couple months immersion she'd be fluent. I'm thinking about Asian Friend Finder if I must be her go between/filter...I just don't see how this will be any fun for Lao gon.

[DennisLeiqin]

We just returned from China and a month of happiness for Lao po and for me feeling like a mushroom...bored outta my skin. But while there I enjoyed our 29 yoa niece's company several times. She talked Lao po into helping her find a Western man to become friends with. Of course the job was delegated to me. (aka the big mushroom). As for the niece she's got a great personality and a lot of fun, a real keeper. She runs the family business, is a college grad and began law school. She is very musical and at karaoke she sings like, Celine Dion. She likes to travel and is adventurous when she can take off the business woman hat. Her English is fair but with a couple months immersion she'd be fluent. I'm thinking about Asian Friend Finder if I must be her go between/filter...I just don't see how this will be any fun for Lao gon.

Good luck. Hope you find her a 'keeper' too. You know where the blame lies if he turns out to have flaws like most of us men have.

[Thomas Promise]

My wife's best friend lost her husaband two years ago to cancer. Now is recovering from the grief of her loss. She wishes to find an American husband right here in Ohio area. I said to my Tai Tai finding a good husband on the net from Ohio is like hitting the lottery. Almost impossible. Her friend's computer skills are poor at best and her English is Wo Bu Mimbi. She is educated with a vocational degree and a city gal from Nanning. However once again the lifelong friendship scenario rules out all reason and logic. I am told: Tomo she is my life long friend and WE must come to her aid. She has a 27 old son who is a real mama's boy. Still lives at home and must have a theatrical desire to play Peter Pan. The boy who never refuses to grow up. When we went out for dinner a few times my wife's friend took food home with her for him. (He could not join us do to special tv programming or just too tired.) My wife told me since he is the only child Chinese parents have a tendency spoil their child. She wants her son to come to the US too. I told my wife this was immpossible due to the USCIS rules and it could take up to 10 years for him to become eligible to come to the US. Her son has no college training or work skills. I told my wife that very few men in China, Europe or the US would take on this resonsibilty for a young man who appears to have no desire to become a real responsible person. I explained to my wife that he came here by some miracle he would be fish bait and ate alive here in America by his contemporaries and more then likely have no friends Asian or American friends and live a introvert's exsistence playing games on the computer and waiting for his mother to bring home his supper in bag from McDonalds.

I am against helping my wife's friend for a myraid of reasons.Somehow we must bow out of this diplomatically.

[Zhou Zhou]

Yes, Dennis I know who would take the fall for the flaws. And interesting that you should mention Chinese sons (Princes) Thomas. We stayed with Tai Tai's little boy and girlfriend while in the PRC. Her little boy is a 26 year old officer in the PLA and can't cook, clean, drops his clothes around the house...he can play games on his $600 iPhone, watch tv and play games on his lap top...I also think he dresses himself and wipes his own ass, but never witnessed either. His mother and I went downtown and he called 6 times wanting to know if she would be home to cook lunch...so I sarcastically asked,"Since his girlfriend or mother can't live with him when he is living at his base, does he have a little Asian teenage girl cleaning and cooking for him"? My wife seriously answered that when he is at the base a recruit is assigned to each officer to take care of him and do the chores. I saw a discussion on CCTV about this generation born in the 1980-90...they are the first children of the one child policy and the researchers are seeing many differences. The had no siblings to compete with, no sibling examples and a lot of other psycho jargon to say, they ain't worf a shit. I've checked out his friends and they are sons of businessmen and live off the family. Now the girls I've observed are not the case...they seem to be the future leaders. The girlfriend is very talented...she came home with a part for the toilet one day and I got with her to help...she grabbed a screwdriver and in the blink of an eye she had it fixed. She comes in the door from work and she's in the kitchen cooking up some excellent groceries. She came home with a wireless router and we were wireless in a half hour. She had 2 sisters and a younger brother...her daddy paid $100K in penalties so he could get his Prince. Now she is a keeper. I told the wife that someday girlfriend is going to discover that little boyfriend can't do anything but play games and she'll dump his officer ass. Ok, I have to go and find a singles web site for our lovely niece so she can be spellbound by some fast writing, rich, educated, handsome, Usonian bachelor.

[Doug]

I think sometimes I turn into those useless guys. I just eat out and hire maids. The ladies I talk to in China really get on my ass about staying up late, even if I went to bed at 6 and woke up at 12. Then they don't like me eating out.

[True Blue]

MATCH.com, E-Harmony or an American focused dating site is probably a waste of time

 

For what it is worth, we set up my wife's 27 year old daughter with a match.com account and she did the profile. We thought she might stand out more there than on a China matchmaking account where she was 1 of 5,000 Chinese girls. It turned out to be a bad idea.

 

She basically had 3 strict requirements

(1) looking for a college educated guy (she likes the bookwormish intellectual type)

(2) a guy who didn't smoke (she doesn't smoke and has severe allergies to it)

(3) and a guy between age 25-35. - she would probably be open to 40 or so but that's what she put on her profile

 

She has about 1,300 profile views and about 120 contacts in 3 months. Many were Taiwanese guys looking for a girl from the mainland. Others appeared to be Russian or Ukranian guys probably students who would be leaving the USA soon -looking to marry HER for a green card - hahaha. Probably half of her contacts were out of her age range (oldest one was 83 hehehe), or smoked or didn't have any college - or perhaps didn't bother to READ her profile before contacting her. Nothing really worked out mainly because she is in China and they were here., I think an Asian American match site is probably more effective.