work issues.

[RobertH]

hello everybody I have a question. Hui is working doing mas sage. Up until recently she is been a massage technician add a chinese doctors office. For some reason she decided to give up that job and go to work at her friends reflexology store. I liked it when she works for the doctor she would work from 830 am till about 630 pm with weekends off. Well things are kind of slow at her friend store at the moment so she started doing on call work for the vietnamese reflex ology store across the street. well now the new vietnamese store wants to hire her full time. this means 6 days a week from 10 am till 9 pm. I don't like this at all. question is do I ask her not to do it. we always talk that she would never work these type of hours. I don't think she wants to work these type of hours but she feels this is all she can get right now and she wants to get the money. if she agrees to work the schedule they will guarantee her at least 400 a week.

 

 

I think she made a mistake in leaving the doctors office she was doing well there she just thought she could make more money going to the other store.

I don't know maybe I should just tell her go for it and let her burn herself out on the schedule after a week or 2.

 

she is waiting for the chinese language massage course to start at t he local community college that could be a few months down the line.

 

she became unhappy with her doctor's office job after she talked 1 of her friends who is doing massage at the reflexology place and the friend told her she had saved 100,000 dollars in 4 years. so she thought she could do better someplace else.

 

anyway well I'm starting to ramble now so what your guys's take on this would you do if your wife was in a similar position?

[smokiessky]

Robert my wife got a job offer for 12 hours a day for 6 days a week. I said no way what kind of marriage can we have if your gone that much for so little money. So she told the guy she could work 5 days a week with Sunday off and work 40 or less hours a week and the guy agreed to it.That is how she worked in China.

[tonado]

You can tell her how you feel about those long hrs. However, let her decide what she wants to do.

[Kyle]

I agree with Tony.

[DennisLeiqin]

Chinese/Asian bosses work their workers 12 on 12 off 7 days a week (be fortunate if you get 1 day off). If you live in an area close to and with a large pool of Chinese/Asian workers, the boss will more than likely not give your wife special hours. Most or many of the massage girls are undocumented and find this cash paying work better than cleaning someone's home.

 

With or without a massage license, if your wife's English isn't completely fluent she will still have to compete for work with undocumented and unlicensed massage girls unless she can open her own business and be her own boss.

 

My suggestion, being that this type of work is so flexible (girls come and go all the time switching jobs), have your wife do it for a few weeks or months then quit for a while. Otherwise, maybe you'll need to get extra work and give the money to her. B)

 

Let us know how everything works out.

[tsap seui]

hello everybody I have a question. Hui is working doing mas sage. Up until recently she is been a massage technician add a chinese doctors office. For some reason she decided to give up that job and go to work at her friends reflexology store. I liked it when she works for the doctor she would work from 830 am till about 630 pm with weekends off. Well things are kind of slow at her friend store at the moment so she started doing on call work for the vietnamese reflex ology store across the street. well now the new vietnamese store wants to hire her full time. this means 6 days a week from 10 am till 9 pm. I don't like this at all. question is do I ask her not to do it. we always talk that she would never work these type of hours. I don't think she wants to work these type of hours but she feels this is all she can get right now and she wants to get the money. if she agrees to work the schedule they will guarantee her at least 400 a week.

 

 

I think she made a mistake in leaving the doctors office she was doing well there she just thought she could make more money going to the other store.

I don't know maybe I should just tell her go for it and let her burn herself out on the schedule after a week or 2.

 

she is waiting for the chinese language massage course to start at t he local community college that could be a few months down the line.

 

she became unhappy with her doctor's office job after she talked 1 of her friends who is doing massage at the reflexology place and the friend told her she had saved 100,000 dollars in 4 years. so she thought she could do better someplace else.

 

anyway well I'm starting to ramble now so what your guys's take on this would you do if your wife was in a similar position?

 

 

Robert I can't really help you with deciding this issue, although from reading your words I think you already have good thoughts on what to do. I would like to comment on this sentence in bold above.

 

I think all of our wives all have this "friend" who got a job rubbin' backs 12 hours a day 7 days a week, saved up, from $100,000 to $250,000 in 4 years, sent the money to China, and retired back there to live a life of luxury. This "woman" is like God....if there wasn't one, we'd have to invent one.

 

I'm not doubting that statement at all and I well know that most any Chinese woman could pull this trick off, and barely break a sweat doing it.

 

If I may be so bold, I would just like to mention that....there may not be any taxes being paid on that $100,000 to $250,000 and for many there is probably no license for whatever they are doing....NOT that there is necessarily anything wrong with that.

 

It's just not a level playing field out there for our wives, especially when we, in our honest, good guy American spirit, tie the boat anchor of tax liability and license around their ankles.

 

In Pa my wife has to have a license to pick her nose, much less work on your glutial maximus, trim your nails, or paint your toes.

 

My wife has had various offers to make the "big cash" in other cities around America. Oh, they tell her, you don't need no stinkin' license or to pay taxes. Just show up for work, put in your 12 to 14 hours and count your loot, Myrtle. Heck, one enterprising lady even owns 5 such businesses and tells Wenyan she can too.

 

I look at my lil' rabbit and think...did I really spend 5 freakin' years of my life dealing with bandits in the State Department that I despise more than anyone in the world...just so you can come over here and work illegally, save up a bunch of money, and send it back to Chairman Mao?

 

Okay, there is my comment for the day. We're off to the attorney's office to spend some money to start a corporation named "Fugui Wangsheng" for this small apartment complex I'm buying for Wenyan...so she can legally run a legitimate business, pay taxes, and be a tiny bit safer from good ol' American lawsuits.

 

As did many of my age group back in the entire 1970's and early 1980's I dealt in various nefarious deeds in business. I don't want my wife living with one eye in the back of her head looking out for her "six". In my old age I found it better to work "on the table" instead of under it.

 

tsap seui

 

I do not know where any of the preceding came from, I'm just waiting to go to the lawyers office and it all spilled out of me.

[chilton747]

I remember being in this situation once. She wanted a live in nanny job and I certainly did not like this. I told her "no way". She kept begging me so after a few days I gave in. I was following the advice of "let her do what she wants." Why not? It's what she wanted to do and she begged me for days.

 

She worked for a few months then quit because of a disagreement with the child's mother. Then after a while all I heard was "you bad man....you send me to be nanny!"

 

Moral of the story, you're screwed no matter what you do.

[warpedbored]

I remember being in this situation once. She wanted a live in nanny job and I certainly did not like this. I told her "no way". She kept begging me so after a few days I gave in. I was following the advice of "let her do what she wants." Why not? It's what she wanted to do and she begged me for days.

 

She worked for a few months then quit because of a disagreement with the child's mother. Then after a while all I heard was "you bad man....you send me to be nanny!"

 

Moral of the story, you're screwed no matter what you do.

 

This is a typical scenario. It's a lose lose situation. I went round and round with my wife when we first married and she wanted to work for a restaurant under the table. In the end she quit because they didn't have enough work for her and they only paid $30 for a whole day's work. Some things to consider. If she is working without a license and she is arrested and convicted she could be deported. Certainly not worth the risk for what they are probably paying her. Every state's laws are different but here in Oregon a license is required for massage but not reflexology.

[Randy W]

I remember being in this situation once. She wanted a live in nanny job and I certainly did not like this. I told her "no way". She kept begging me so after a few days I gave in. I was following the advice of "let her do what she wants." Why not? It's what she wanted to do and she begged me for days.

 

She worked for a few months then quit because of a disagreement with the child's mother. Then after a while all I heard was "you bad man....you send me to be nanny!"

 

Moral of the story, you're screwed no matter what you do.

 

This is a typical scenario. It's a lose lose situation. I went round and round with my wife when we first married and she wanted to work for a restaurant under the table. In the end she quit because they didn't have enough work for her and they only paid $30 for a whole day's work. Some things to consider. If she is working without a license and she is arrested and convicted she could be deported. Certainly not worth the risk for what they are probably paying her. Every state's laws are different but here in Oregon a license is required for massage but not reflexology.

 

 

Even if SHE is legal, but other employees aren't, she could find herself in hot water.

 

Be ESPECIALLY careful for her sake.

[steveandrong]

Same as Tsap said..there is always this woman/person they read about in of all places "001" that have these wonderful jobs and make "a lot of money"...doesn't matter if it is airline stewardess job, dealer jobs in casinos, waitress jobs....is always someone braggin up the money to be made...of course I think the way a lot of them make this so called "lot of money" is that you are footing the bills for everything while they pocket and put in their bank account all the money they make...again to sid e with Tsap, most of us are past the days of working the cash jobs for the under the table money...with all we went through getting our wives here, we sure don't want to screw things up by someone sending uncle sam a note about how so and so is making all this money and not claiming anything on income tax.

[dnoblett]

This is a typical scenario. It's a lose lose situation. I went round and round with my wife when we first married and she wanted to work for a restaurant under the table. In the end she quit because they didn't have enough work for her and they only paid $30 for a whole day's work. Some things to consider. If she is working without a license and she is arrested and convicted she could be deported. Certainly not worth the risk for what they are probably paying her. Every state's laws are different but here in Oregon a license is required for massage but not reflexology.

Even if SHE is legal, but other employees aren't, she could find herself in hot water.

 

Be ESPECIALLY careful for her sake.

Been going round and round about massage with my wife, in NY it requires a license, and requires 1000+ hours of training from a recognized school.

Education Requirement

 

To meet the professional education requirement for licensure, you must:

 

• Complete high school or its equivalent and graduate from a school or institute of massage therapy with a program registered by the New York State Education Department* as licensure qualifying, or its substantial equivalent in both subject matter or extent of training, provided that the program in such school or institute shall consist of classroom instruction with a total of not less than 1000 hours in specific subjects satisfactory to the Department.
• Complete coursework in anatomy, physiology, neurology, myology or kinesiology, pathology, hygiene, first aid, CPR, infection control procedures, the chemical ingredients of products that are used and their effects, as well as the theory, technique and practice of both oriental and western massage/bodywork therapy. Within the 1000 hours of education, you will have had to complete a minimum of 150 hours of practice on a person.

http://www.op.nysed..../mtlic.htm#educ

 

1000 hours is a ridiculous amount of time, do the math, working 8 hrs a day and a 40 hr week it will take over 6 months full time to aquire the amount of time needed.

 

Some states require a more reasonable 500 hours of training.

Edited January 11, 2012 by dnoblett (see edit history)

[NickF]

I remember being in this situation once. She wanted a live in nanny job and I certainly did not like this. I told her "no way". She kept begging me so after a few days I gave in. I was following the advice of "let her do what she wants." Why not? It's what she wanted to do and she begged me for days.

 

She worked for a few months then quit because of a disagreement with the child's mother. Then after a while all I heard was "you bad man....you send me to be nanny!"

 

Moral of the story, you're screwed no matter what you do.

About 6 weeks ago ChunMei took a nanny position for the same reasons. Her employers are a Chinese/American couple; the husband is a doctor.

 

The original conditions were that she would only stay overnight on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. I was not wildly enthusiastic about that, but ChunMei's son is finishing his last semester of college, and she wanted to pay for that herself. After two weeks they changed the overnight requirement to Tuesday night through Friday night.

 

Last week they told her they wanted her to work Wednesday morning through Sunday night, and have Monday and Tuesday off! She left for two weeks in Nanning this morning for New Year, and isn't sure she even wants to talk to them when she comes home again. She thinks the job as it exists now isn't worth only seeing me for a few hours a week.

[david_dawei]

I went through a few years of this, my wife working massage, and I was pulled into some aspects of the inner workings and saw just about it all... in the end, it was one of the primary reasons we divorced.

 

I agree with.

1. Asian/boss typically works them long hours. But the girls tend to rotate and can sleep at the shop, so they do not get as burnt out as you might expect unless they are physically not that strong.

2. Income tax not being paid by many is very true... even those who are legal.... so you will face this issue when you report her taxes (or not). If she is not an employee, she has to file as her own 'business'... you would get a 1099 (if anything).

 

The biggest issue I will say is to know the state requirements for being able to do massage and don't shortcut it by working without a license. That risk is not worth it. If she is licensed then it is very hard to control what other girls might do but really the only collateral damage I saw from another girl without a license is to the boss, not the other workers. But the business can be forced to shut down which would affect everyone's income.

 

These massage places tend to know each other and as Dennis said they will even rotate around stores... and many "friends" will tell them stories which make them want to try another place. It's a rat race that is easy for the girls to get caught up in since they find it is actually easy to make good money.

 

good luck.

Edited January 11, 2012 by david_dawei (see edit history)

[jesser30]

I sympathize greatly with you.... I think that you are in a very tough position. I think your only play is to speak your mind about your feelings, but tell her it is a decision that she will have to make on her own. I know that it is not one that I would be happy about having to make if I were you. Does she have some drive as to why she is wanting to make the extra money? What is her motivation? I would try and help her work through her issues from that stand point first.

[A Mafan]

Does she have some drive as to why she is wanting to make the extra money? What is her motivation?

Yeah, a Chinese woman wanting more money, you never see that!

 

(sorry, forgive my snark please! I couldn't resist!)