Back In The USA

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

My son is 10, will be 11 when we go. He's really excited about going, even knowing the few negatives (smog, smoking and toilets). He's even motivated to learn some Mandarin.

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

OK, I've made you guys wait long enough for the whole story. Not sure if I can get it all in here at one time, maybe it'll be a 2 or 3 part posting.

 

Many of you know I was waiting at the last minute for my Affidavit of Single Status and Divorce Decree verification from the consulate in Chicago. Well, the night before I was to leave, I checked FedEx and found that they had mailed it late that night. Fortunately I had them send it to my mother, who, in turn sent it UPS to QiQiHaer. I was still aprehensive that we would have it in time.

 

The flight over was long, but nice. No problem, even saw some beautiful images of the frozen cliffs of the Aluetian Islands peeking through the clouds.

 

ShuPing met me at the Beijing Capitol airport and we rode (courtesy of Mr. Lao, our taxi driver) to the little hotel that ShuPing had booked for us, (yes, seperate rooms). We passed Tienemin Square along the way and many other eye-opening things.

 

We ate some dinner at a little barbeque stand just a block away. We talked and got used to each other as we'd never actually met face to face before. There was magic and the smell of cooking meat in the air. Hole in the wall doesn't adequately describe the place, but it was romantic, none the less.

 

I was relieved to find an actual toilet and fascinated by the shower in the bathroom. Some of you will already know about the showers, but it wasn't in a shower stall, but just on the wall. I couldn't get over that everything in the bathroom was going to get wet when I showered.

 

Next day, Mr. Lao took us to the Great Wall. We rode the little creepers to the top of the hill. For anyone who hasn't been, just imagine being pulled up the side of a hill on one of those creeper things you use to crawl under your car on. I thought it was a little kiddie ride, I didn't know it was taking us to the entrance of the Great Wall.

 

I proved that I'm a good man, we climbed the steep, uneven steps to the top of the hill. I kept trying to decide if I should try to catch anyone who fell down above me or get out of the way. Fortunately no one fell. What a great view.

 

We visited a wax museum of Chinese Imperial history. I had my first experience of eating a real meal in a real Chinese restaurant. We spent the rest of the day and the next running errands. I was just fascinated with everything and my beautiful girl.

 

We took a train to QiQiHaer that afternoon. I got to experience the discomfort of a Chinese train ride. Her family met us at the station the next morning. QiQiHaer was as cold as advertised.

 

We rode to Mama's house and I got to meet my new Mama. Her home is one of the poor little shacks that are packed together in certain little neighborhoods. No inside bathroom and no running hot water. I simply took in the whole experience and tried to remember who was who in my new family.

 

We had a couple meals that day. I found out that people in this part of the country really like to drink. Er Guo (2nd brother) brought out a big jug of homebrew with lots of different things foating in it. I wasn't sure, so I asked for only a little. I shot that in one gulp during the first toast and was instructed to sip it. I had bought gifts of Jack Daniels for my brothers in law and they thought I should drink that instead. Seeing the need to make an impression on my new brothers, I got pretty toasted with them.

 

Er Guo decided that he'd drink the Jack with me. So after finishing his First full glass of home brew, he had a couple more glasses with me. At some point, I felt th need to find the facilities, so Er Guo took me by the hand and we went out to the out house, where again I was amazed to find four rectangular holes in the concrete and I wondered how anyone could use these holes.

 

Er Guo soon felt the pain of mixing his liquer and passed out, only to wake up later to hurl his cookies. I, on the other hand, just felt drunk and sat around in a stupor the rest of the night.

 

Part 2 coming soon.

[keelec]

Mark.

 

What happened, your last picture didn't show that you were 1 foot taller than Shu Ping!!!!!!!!!

[se_lang]

Mark

You must write for the soaps, dont leave us hanging tell the rest of the story

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

Hey, a man's gotta sleep sometime.

 

Stop me if I get too detailed, I don't want to use up too much server space or reader attention (unless I'm posting on 300).

 

We spent the first night in QiQiHaer at Mama's house. I was honored to be given the bedroom and only bed for the night. Everyone else (Mama, Er Guo, sister-in-law, grandson and ShuPing) slept on a 6' x 12' brick platform in the living room. I figured out that it was the chimney from the cooking fire in the kitchen. ShuPing instructed me to use the chamber pot if I needed to in the night, a real treasure at 5 AM when the temp outside had to have been below 0.

 

On the second day there, ShuPing recieved a phone call. When she hung up she had the biggest smile on her face. She said that she had to go to a hotel to pick up the documents that my mother had sent via UPS. We rejoiced!, now we could get married.

 

The next day or so was spent visiting family and trying to decide who we would displace when we returned with our marriage certificate. ShuPing told me that it was tradition for a family member to give up their home for the newlyweds. We decided to take 4th sister's apartment. A small place located in the city and close to everything. It thankfully had a toilet, but not any hot water or a shower.

 

Speaking of showers, because there are few showers in homes, there are public showers. I don't know if this is true for all of China or just North China, but it was the case in QiQIHaer. It was decided that we needed to bathe, so my new brothers in law and a nephew took me to the local bath house. Now I'm as secure in my manhood as the next guy, but there are times when it gets put to the test.

 

I was already a source of great interest in a place where there are simply no white guys, period. Walking down the street produced lots of stares and I was fully clothed. Imagine the curiosity I created walking around naked. I'm not a real hairy guy, but I can boast a nice crop of chest hair and, without going into great detail, there were other apparent physical differences. Nonetheless, I continued on bravely.

 

After a quick shower, we sat in the steam room for 5 mins. Then I was directed to lay on a table, much like a massage table. There was a plastic film on it and warm water dashed over it, so I laid down. A young man, who I was sure had never seen a white man before, let alone a naked one, began to scrub my body with a scouring pad. It wasn't near as painful as it sounds, but I did notice that he was scrubbing the top layer of my skin away. No problem, I've got 6 more. He scrubbed from head to toe and everywhere in between. He touched me in places only doctors and lovers have touched, though not intentionally, so I let it go.

 

It was indeed refreshing and an experience I could only shake my head at. After another shower to wash the dead skin away, we all sat around in the locker room and drip dried. I'm hoping the conversation that went on was about sports or politics, but I can only imagine that it concerned the funny look on my face. I think it was, however, another bonding experience for my brothers and I. It works in China, but I don't know that it would work here in the states.

 

I'll continue this later and tell you about Harbin, the marriage certificate and the honeymoon suite, it was quite the experience.

[se_lang]

Tease

[Cat&Rat]

Mark,

Great stories, Cat and I were reading them together on line as we chatted on yahoo this morning. We were both rolling.

She is from South China, and hasn't quite understood so many ...........what's the right words...... references to the living conditions or lack there of, that she reads on this and several other forums. It all clicked this morning while we were reading together and enjoying your telling of your adventures. GOOD LUCK AND THANKS FOR SHARING!!!!

Ratman

[chinadave2001]

Congrats to you both, mark! I hope your visa process is a smooth one....

dave

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

My apologies Darrell, but don't you think it just adds to the telling to have to wait for the next exciting episode? Too bad I don't have some soap to sell.

 

Now that you're all on the edge of your seats...

 

We left QiQiHaer early in the morning of the 19th heading to Harbin. This was a commuter train so it was packed. The train ride from Beijing to QiQiHaer was a sleeping train and had the hard cots with not enough headroom, but at least it was romantic with a full moon to share with my airen. The commuter train wouldn't have been romantic if it had been empty, I'm a fairly tall individual and the lack of leg room nearly killed me.

 

There are 3 seats facing 3 seats on each side of the train with about 2 feet in between the seat in front of you. The lady in front of me was kind enough to let me stretch one leg out under her seat and she did the same under mine, but 3 and a half hours later as we pulled into Harbin station, I was sure I would fall on my face when I stood up. Fortunately there were enough bodies pressed together to hold me up when I did stand.

 

I should say that there is a certain sense of privacy in being the only English speakers in such a crowded space. I felt we could talk about anything and no one would know what we were saying. We did have some quality time together in that sense.

 

ShuPing's neice met us at the station and we took a cab from there straight to the Marriage Certificate office. Finding a cab at the station seemed to be particularlly frustrating for them. We found several empty cabs but for some reason, which I still don't understand, we couldn't find one that would take us to the office. I think it had something to do with hotels, but I'm not sure. I know that we had to run a guantlet of hotel solicitors at every train station we went to. Eventually, we did find someone to take us.

 

The folks at this government office weren't particularly kind and accomodating, but they weren't rude either. With the single exception of the photographer. He was an older guy who really seemed to enjoy his job, he was capturing a happy moment in time for many, many people.

 

We filled out the required paperwork with only an occaisional call to HouLi, ShuPing's other neice who is pretty fluent in English. We left the office with instructions to return at 1:30 to pick up our certificates. This really pleased ShuPing, though I didn't catch the significance until days later. Basically, they had told her that it was all approved and we just had to return to pick it up.

 

We then went to pick-up HouLi to have lunch. She took us to a very nice German brewery/restaurant. It was still Chinese food, just served in a micro-brewery with American country music playing in the background. Yes, another surreal moment. All the beer in the place is free, you just have to pay for the meal. We had 3 types, dark, pilsner and green, which, after talking to HouLi, I think was made from blue-green algea or spirulina. It wasn't bad, but the pilsner was delicious.

 

Here's where things start getting good. HouLi, it turns out, works for the provincial government's public affairs office as a liason for agricultural issues. Her English is pretty good and it is amazingly refreshing to be able to converse with someone who understands enough to have an extended conversation. She was very curious about how ShuPing and I met and how we knew we wanted to get married based solely on our interaction on the internet. She was frank about her concerns, but after the lunch, she said she felt good about me and my relationship with her aunt.

 

She also cleared up a lot of things for ShuPing. Things that I just couldn't adequately explain to her. Things like the whole visa process, life in America and the adjustments that ShuPing would have to make. HouLi was a Godsend and would prove even moreso later.

 

We left with plans to drop HouLi off at her office and pick up our marriage certificates while she booked a hotel room for us. We did so and with very little trouble, we paid the clerk for the certificates and papers. I was ready to leave, headed for the door and ShuPing said we had to go to another office. OK, no problem.

 

I'll go ahead and include my impressions of this office, even though it was insignificant, I think it is a good glimpse into Chinese culture. There was a gentleman and three ladies working in this very small office. The man was smoking and chit-chatting with 2 of the girls as they wrote e-mail on Yahoo China. He appeared to be the supervisor and did some wandering around which made him seem importantly busy. The other lady helped us with our paperwork, calling the supervisor over for final approval. No one seemed to be in any hurry, not that we were, but there was no stress on "Turnover! Turnover!". ShuPing said that I had to pay the lady and I thought, "Didn't we just pay upstairs?", but I learned to just do as I was told.

 

We left and met HouLi. She said that because the Snow and Ice Festival was starting, all the hotels were booked up, she couldn't find a room for us. Fortunately, her boss had just left town and would be gone for a week, so she was able to get his private room for us, and at a discount. She took us to a nice hotel, not a 5 star, but definitely a good 4 star called the Center Hotel. She said that no one is ever allowed to use this room, but she managed to coerce the hotel manager. Instead of the normal 1000RMB per night, we got it for 400RMB.

 

The room was on the top floor, the 9th. We stepped off the elevator and turned away from the long hallway to walk to the shorter hallway with only one room in it. We opened the door and nearly fell down.

 

It was definitely the best room in the place, the Presidential suite according to HouLi. The entire room was beautiful. There was a dining room, with china cabinets along the wall and decorative nic-naks. There was Perrier in the little fridge. There were picture windows over looking the city. There was a sofa and chair in the living room with a fine tea setting prepared on it. An executive desk sat in another section of the great room. A wide-screen TV sat against another wall. There was a nice guest bathroom and the bedroom sported a huge bed (still hard, but softer than most), vanity, picture window and wall closet. The cherry on the cake came when we entered the bathroom.

 

Everyone knows the general concept of a bathroom in China, but this one put American bathrooms to shame. It was larger by itself than the little hotel room we stayed in in Beijing. A large sink and counter with a hair dryer attached to the wall. A toilet, but not just any toilet, this one had a remote control command panel on the side. You could control the bathtub, music, heat and call room service or make a phone call all from the comfort of the john. The bathtub was a jacuzzi with shower nozzles built into the walls for pulsating bathtime fun. There was a foot massager that shot jets of water over your tired dogs and rolled and massaged them. You could play the radio or a CD or make phone calls while you soaked in the tub. Needless to say, HouLi had given us a wonderful wedding gift.

 

When the door closed we began shooting video (no, not that kind of video Darrell) and taking pictures. Then we quickly jumped into that marvelous bathtub, I wanted to stay there the whole time. Later we ordered room service and had a wonderful meal in our executive honeymoon suite. Too bad we could only stay for one night, but it was a hell of a night.

 

Alright, I'll finish the Harbin story later tonight.

[se_lang]

When the door closed we began shooting video (no, not that kind of video Darrell) and taking pictures.  Then we quickly jumped into that marvelous bathtub, I wanted to stay there the whole time.  Later we ordered room service and had a wonderful meal in our executive honeymoon suite.  Too bad we could only stay for one night, but it was a hell of a night. 

 

Alright, I'll finish the Harbin story later tonight.

LMAO How did you know I would think that

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

When the door closed we began shooting video (no, not that kind of video Darrell) and taking pictures.  Then we quickly jumped into that marvelous bathtub, I wanted to stay there the whole time.  Later we ordered room service and had a wonderful meal in our executive honeymoon suite.  Too bad we could only stay for one night, but it was a hell of a night.  

 

Alright, I'll finish the Harbin story later tonight.

LMAO How did you know I would think that

I guess you could call it an educated guess since your reputation preceedes you.

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

Now for the next installment of "As China Turns"

 

ShuPing and I ate breakfast in the hotel restaurant. It was a very good buffett and we both filled up. Then we were off to meet HouLi and go to the Snow and Ice Festival. A long ride across town and over the river got us there. Along the way, I saw the first and only car accident I'd see in China. A van appeared to have lost control on the ice and hit the fence and railing on the side of the overpass. It sat sideways in the road as we passed.

 

Back to the festival, for those who don't know, Harbin has a yearly event where they build a huge display of ice and snow sculptures. These aren't simply small little ice carvings, these are building sized creations that are elaborate and beautiful. This year coming is the year of the monkey and the entrance was a 25 foot monkey head made of snow. Unfortunately, we found out that it was only opened at night and that night was the grand opening so many things weren't ready yet. They wouldn't let us in more than a few feet to take pictures.

 

Rather than go back to Harbin, we walked across the road to a little ski slope. It was very little, just a small hill with a butt lift to the top. We decided that it would be a good way to give ShuPing the experience of skiing. We paid for an hour and got boots, skis and poles. ShuPing managed to do fairly well with only a little instruction from me. There wasn't much hill to ski on, so the few times she did fall it was a sit down not a wipe out.

 

Living in Colorado, I've become a fair hand at skiing, but I must've looked like a pro to the folks struggling to get down that little hill. I noticed the stares as I followed ShuPing down. It was time to go, so I ran back up the hill (the lift had stopped working) for one more quick run. I gave everyone a good show as I zipped down the hill with perfect form. *Riiiight*

 

We came back to the city, passing the place where earlier there had been an accident with a van. It had been close to 2 hours since we had passed that way and the van was still sitting in the same spot. Talk about slow recovery.

 

HouLi took us to a nice restaurant that she said served real authentic Chinese country cookin'. There were some good dishes and there were some not so good. HouLi's husband joined us and ordered beef tongue (I think that's what it was). He said it was a well liked Chinese country dish. I let him have all he wanted since I didn't want it.

 

Soon it was time for HouLi to go to work and we were to go to the hotel to check out. We ended up taking too long to check out and missed our train, something ShuPing said she never did before. We had to see some rail road official to get the ticket renewed for the next tain to QiQiHaer.

 

Once we got on the train, we were assigned seats in the dining car, which was not going to be used for passenger meals. The dining room car was pretty cold , but at least I didn't have to search for leg room. This train was also not the express train, so it stopped at every little station along the way. We enjoyed a nice, quiet and somewhat private train ride back to QiQiHaer.

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

Now that I've started I suppose I should continue.

 

Prior to going to Harbin we had gone to a photographer and had some pictures taken. When ShuPing asked me if we could have some pictures taken I had no idea what we were really doing.

 

We stopped in the photographer's studio, which looked more like a bridal shop, to pick out the package. ShuPing talked to the sales girl for several minutes and then asked me if I thought we could afford the photo package she was pointing out. It was all in Chinese so I asked her what it included, she said this, this, and this, showing me the little picture on the brochure. The actual cost escapes me now, but it seemed reasonable enough so I agreed.

 

The next day we went for the pictures. I assumed we would be there for a short time, 2 or 3 poses and be done with it. I should have grasped the magnitude when ShuPing said one of the girls would be making her hair and face up. I won't go into all the details, but we each got made up and each had 5 costume changes before the 5 hour ordeal was over.

 

The reason we couldn't stay in Harbin any longer was because we had to go and pick out the pictures we wanted. No problem, she is very beautiful and very photogenic. I, on the other hand, had too much make up on. All in all, the pictures were really nice.

 

A few days later we went to pick up the finished products - 1 huge (apprx 50"X 40") picture, in a gold frame, another large (apprx 35"X 28") picture in a gold frame, an 8X12 of ShuPing and a really nice, hard cover wedding album with many assorted pictures. Unfortunately it contained a lot of poor or misplaced English in it.

 

Examples include: "I fear no longer your small."; "I love you when the brushing of the rain"; "Fresh Fashions for Spring"; "give me, I keep you satisfy, one mor chance to keep you satisfy"; and my two personal favorites - "Solo Love" and "Right here wailing".

 

Now I'm not complaining, I think it is a very sweet book and the sentiments come from the right place, so who could complain. But it does crack me up. I can only imagine the butchery I would do if I attempted the same thing in Chinese. I thought I might be able to make a few RMB if I went around and sold my English editing services to various businesses. Of course, who in China knows or cares if the words are right?

 

I don't really mean to be a tease *Darrell*. I really want to wrap this story up soon, but it's late and I have to get up really early tomorrow and besides, you have 300 to keep you amused. I hope you enjoy these snippets of my Chinese experience. Goodnight John Boy!

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

Boy, I've only been away from my wife for 7 days and I'm dying. I have to admire everyone who's persevered longer than I have. I have no doubt that we will make it to the end, but what a long road through hell.

 

It does help to write about my experiences though, so thank you all for the server space and the sympathetic eyes and comments.

 

Back in QiQIHaer there were many things to do for the wedding. We had to buy bedding for our wedding bed and red shoes for ShuPing. I was constantly impressed by the customer service and the way there are sales people for every item in the store.

 

We also bought rings. Nothing elaborate, white gold, a small 1/4 karat solitaire for her and a thin band for me with diamond cuts in it. Wedding paraphernalia, like foil designs and streamers, red matches and confetti, flags for the cars and silly string.

 

We decorated our room in red, of course. Red sheets, red comforter, red pillow cases. Foil designs on the closets, windows and doors. Red streamers on the ceiling with a red paper ball hanging in the center. We were doing it right.

 

The morning of the wedding had finally arrived. I had my instructions. I was to be taken in the rented car to Mama's house, go and knock on the door and call out, "Mama! Come in!" (or it could've been a Chinese phrase that sounded like come in, maybe one of you guys know). When the door opened, I was supposed to give the person opening the door a red envelope with 10RMB in it. There was a whole list of things I was supposed to do, but even armed with this info, I still felt lost and unsure about what I was going to do.

 

We woke up early on the morning of Dec 24th. ShuPing left about 7AM to go get ready, her neice picking her up from the apartment. I, on the other hand, had to put on my red wedding jacket, black pants, red socks and red underwear and wait patiently until 9 to be picked up. Gradually the place began to fill with more and more people. There was a guy with a video camera and a photographer taking shots of the bedroom and decorations and the nervous groom. Fortunately, ShuPing's niece FongShu was there with her limited English ability.

 

The appointed time finally arrived, 9AM and I was ready to get the party started. I was escorted downstairs by assorted family and friends to a black Honda Accord with flowers all over it. Stopping only long enough to get a picture in front of it. Off to Mama's house we went.

 

We turned into the dirt road of Mama's neighborhood and were directed through the maze of little houses. The closer we got the more people directed us until finally we parked to an audience of about 25 people waiting patiently in the cold.

 

I walked to the front door and it was wide open, no need to knock or slip anyone a 10. The place was packed with wedding guests, but there, on the bed/platform in the living room, sat my beautiful bride. Resplendid in her white wedding dress and just as nervous as I. I walked in, smiling like an idiot and attempted to hook the red corsage on her dress. This was difficult as there was nowhere to hook it and no safety pin to pin it. When that didn't work, some one called for a pin and I was told to light a cigarette for Mama.

 

Mama was sitting in a chair behind me with a cigarette and I lit it. She took a puff and passed it to someone. She handed me a red envelope and I handed her my red envelope and the deal was done. ShuPing was mine. (OK, she was mine before then, but it was one of those surreal moments when things aren't quite what they seem).

 

I wasn't done yet. I still had to put on the red shoes. I slipped them on her feet, reached into my pocket and pulled out the coins I had been given earlier, I threw them on the bed as I had been instructed and then turned to my lovely bride. She put her arms around me and I picked her up. More pictures were taken and then it was off to the waiting Honda.

 

Now, here is a fine point that I don't think I will ever understand about China. I am 6'2" and bigger than everyone I met over there, but not that much bigger. My brothers-in-law are right around 6' for instance. Why are the doors made so short? A 5'6" doorway? Thank God ShuPing is a light woman. Fortunately, I was able to carry her through the 3 short doors that stood in my path to the car and never let her slip.

 

We stood in front of the car for more photo opps before we got in and proceeded, with paparazzi escort, to the banquet hall. (No kidding, the 2 folks with video cameras - one of them mine - were in a van ahead of us with the hatchback open and the cameras rolling). We made it with no problem and waited in the car while something special occurred, but I'll have to tell you about that in the next installment, I've gotta go to work now.

[Dean Hall]

Mark,

 

Again, congratulations. Great stories. I have really enjoyed reading them. Thanks,

 

Dean