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I really should be sleeping, but I'll regale you folks a little more.

 

Most mornings spent at ShuWei's (ShuPing's sister) home, we woke up and ShuPing insisted that we brush our teeth and wash our face. Not a problem, morning breath is a health hazard, but I always like to eat first, then brush. Eating first allows you to taste the food you're eating and then brush it all away. ShuPing could never understand this.

 

She also had a hard time figuring out why I didn't want warm water to brush or wash with. I guess I'm just used to running water and would rather face the icy cold water from the faucet than use a pan or cup of warm water. She finally gave up on me after a week or so of supplying me with a warm cup of water that went down the drain.

 

We ate a little breakfast and left to go shopping. Apparently another tradition is for the groom to prepare a meal for his in-laws the day after the wedding. I had a menu in mind and we were going to buy what we needed.

 

The taxi took us to Fu-Mart, China's Wal-Mart. The thing about Fu-Mart is that it is a maze that takes up 3 floors of a building. There were shopping carts on the first floor, but we had to use the escalators and go to the 3rd floor to get a cart, even though the check out was on the 2nd floor.

 

The top floor contained all the clothes and appliances and non-food items. Then came the escalators down. The wheels of the shopping carts weren't hard rubber like an American cart, they're more like two metal disks that are about an inch apart. I figured out why when we got to the cart escalator. It's like a conveyor belt, not like stairs, but it has grooves in it and the wheels, or disks, fall into the grooves and then it gets stuck there. You can go down this incline, lean on your shopping cart and not roll anywhere.

 

The other cool thing about the shopping carts is that all the wheels turn. You can be headed in one direction and move your cart 90 degrees to the left or right without turning. It's very useful when you've got someone standing in front of you, blocking your aisle.

 

Anyway, Fu-Mart is a far cry from the little corner grocery shops on the corner, they truly are a "super market". They had a bakery, meat and produce departments. They also have the shelves stocked with canned and dry goods. They also have many things that you'd never find in an American grocery store - live fish, crabs, frogs and turtles. They even had a nice sized, live trout that I almost bought.

 

Anyway, I had omelets, sausage and pancakes on the menu. We found most all of the ingredients I needed. No syrup, so we used honey. No baking powder, but we used baking soda. Otherwise we found everything else, everything except the cheese, we forgot to get cheese. I was a little upset because an omelet isn't an omelet without cheese.

 

The sausages weren't spiced at all, so they proved to be more like spam, but the rest of the meal turned out near perfect. I am a pretty good cook and I had to improvise some, but no problem. I even mastered making the omelets and pancakes flat in a wok, not an easy task.

 

Mama and TeJie (I think that's right for oldest sister), a 6 year old grand nephew, ShuPing and I ate a very good meal. The little boy really liked the pancakes and honey. Everyone else claimed to like the whole meal. I was right pleased with myself.

 

That afternoon Mama went home and ShuPing and I had some time to ourselves. It was the first time we could relax together as man and wife. No pressing plans to make and nothing to follow up on. It was nice and we took advantage of the time to fall in love a little more.

 

That night we were to meet TeGuo and several other family members at a hotel for dinner and the go dancing. We did. It was another great meal. This time the feature dishes turned out to be bear meat and some kind of fish. ShuPing told me the fish was very special and that I should eat it, so I did. Half way through the meal, I noticed that the fish was half gone and needed to be turned over. The shape of the meat and the thin, finger-like cartilage running through it reminded me of something. I asked ShuPing if the fish had big teeth and was very mean, she said yes, that's what it is, shark. It was really good, so was the sweet bear meat.

 

Everyone was very lose and we were all drinking that Chinese liquor, (the bottle I have at home has "Gujinggongjiu" written on it). Soon the conversation got to displays of public affection. I think ShuPing mentioned something about my penchant for it - and my reluctant restraint since coming to QIQiHaer. That kind of thing, she says, is not very acceptable for respectable Chinese people.

 

This got TeGuo going. He spoke Chinese and I don't know what he said, but if I had to interpret it into English, I would say it went something like, "Are you kidding? I can kiss my wife anytime, even in public, just watch". With this he proceeded to give his wife a kiss on the cheek.

 

I told him, no, no, this is a real kiss and I laid a good lip lock on ShuPing. Turning back to him I said, "Go ahead, show us a real kiss". His wife looked like she would punch him if he did, but he tried anyway. She stuggled a bit, but good naturedly took a quick one and then pushed him away. This, of course, brought a loud round of applause and cheers.

 

Now it was SuhJie (ShuWei) and SuhJieFu's turn. They are pretty conservative and he was not nearly as toasty as we were, but they gamely kissed on the cheek. We gave them more encouragement and they kiss on the lips, but reluctantly. Unfortunately, for them, my camera was slow with the flash and I needed to take several pictures before I got one that was good enough.

 

The meal was great and we had a really good time, but it was time to move on to the dancing. We walked a few blocks in the serious cold and came to what I thought was another hotel. What it turned out to be was a karaoke lounge. This place had separate rooms, each with it's own karaoke machine and accompanying TV. We closed the door and commenced to have a little dancing and singing party.

 

The first music played was techno and I showed them how to dance to it, well, at least I showed them how I think you dance to it. It got crazy. ShuPing's niece's husband, a big guy who is in the Chinese army and I started slamming each other. I had to show him how to do it, but he soon got the idea. Fortunately, since we were both drunk, it didn't last long. Later TeGuo attempted it and ended up jut falling all over the place so that didn't last long either.

 

FongShu, ShuPing's 20 year old niece had some moves and wanted to dance, so we danced a little and ShuPing picked up some of her moves and we really had fun.

 

I was happy to see that there were English songs on the machine, quite a few as a matter of fact. I don't have the greatest voice in the world, but I'm not bad within a small range. I sang several songs, including, "Twist and Shout", "Honky Tonk Woman", "Time In A Bottle", "Your Song", "Wooly Bully", "Rocky Mountain High" and "A Whiter Shade of Pale". ShuPing and I tried "My Heart Will Go On" and I got everybody going on "Hey Jude". The best was when I got down on one knee and sang "(I Can't Help) Falling In Love With You" to ShuPing, everyone hooted and hollered over that one.

 

Soon the night was over and we all went home, but a strong bond was formed and I can't wait to get back there and teach them how to line dance.

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OK, I'm getting close to the end of this story. Let's see how far I can get today.

 

I remember the song I sang to ShuPing, "(I Can't Help) Falling In Love With You". It got such a good response that I just had to figure out what it was.

 

Well, the karaoke was Christmas night and we planned to go back to Beijing on the 27th. ShuPing told me that we needed to go to Mama's house to give her 3 gifts, another tradition. So on the 26th we just hung out before going shopping. We bought a few simple things, powdered milk, liquor and a cake from Holiland, a little chain bakery just in front of the apartment building.

 

We had an early dinner/lunch at Mama's and spent some time there with the family. I was pretty attached to them by now. We watched a VCD of our wedding. Apparently the guy who video taped the thing had it transferred to VCD, something I was suprised to see. We went through a few things, what things of ShuPing's would I take and what would I leave behind? I just kept thinking I would have too much to take back with me.

 

That night we lent back to the apartment fairly early, around 5 pm. The electricity went out and we left thinking it would be on when we came back. I wanted to hit the computer kiosk, show her some things (like the Candle) and print out the I-130 for her to sign. We each checked our e-mail and I finally got some football news. My fantasy football teams went straight to hell, but knowing that the Broncos were in the playoffs was cool. Unfortunately, when I tried to pull up the printable I-130, I found that they didn't have Adobe loaded on the computer, nor did they have a printer, so that idea went out the window.

 

We spent a couple of hours on the computer and decided we'd have a late dinner. I had seen a restaurant across the street that advertised western food. I suggested that we go there. I figured I'd eaten enough Chinese food to get a good idea of what it was. We were seated in a cozy, private room and given a menu. Of course it was in Chinese and I had no idea what was western food and what wasn't.

 

ShuPing translated what she could, but all she could tell me was, this is chicken, this is beef, etc. I told her to order some beef, some chicken, but I really had no idea what she was getting.

 

When the waiter began bringing food, the first thing he brought was a huge bowl of cubed ice cream. Hmmm, OK. He brought some kind of chicken dish, some vegetables and then some thin steaks smothered in garlic, and finally a big fruit salad. There really was nothing western about it, except that we had silverware. I love watching ShuPing try to use a fork as much as she enjoys watching me use chop sticks.

 

The food was good, but the company was better. I really enjoyed having the quiet time with my wife. We talked about our childhoods and various memories of our families. She is very funny, inquisitive and sincere. We drank 2 bottles of Harbin beer, OK, I drank most of it, but if she had drunk any more, I would've had to carry her out of the restaurant.

 

She informed me that most of the restaurants that claimed to serve western food really served Chinese food. I told her I could tell. I told her that in America desert came last and salads came first. Our plates are big and we put our food on the plate to eat it. So when the waiter came to get our money she told him how things are done in America. He left and came back a few minutes later, handed me a cauliflower kitchen magnet and told ShuPing that the owner was grateful for the information. I wonder if they'll change things.

 

We went back to the apartment to find that the electricity was still out. Not to worry, ShuPing had bought some candles.

 

The next day was spent cleaning up our stuff and packing for Beijing. I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that I was also packing for home.

There's a certain feeling that goes along with leaving and I wanted desperately to avoid that feeling, but it wouldn't go away.

 

We had lunch with SuhJie, SuhJieFu and FongShu. My friend had given me $100 to buy him some ginseng root and ShuPing had arranged for SuhJieFu to pick up the best, he came back with 8 boxes. It turned out to be the display cases with the certified ginseng sewn to red velvet. I just stared at it, bewildered. I had no idea how I would get it home.

 

We left the apartment with luggage in hand and headed to Mama's again. Once there we began packing things in earnest. ErGuo had bought a couple of burlap type suitcases and a tube to carry our portraits in. I packed them to the max. We ate dinner and it was time to leave.

 

We were escorted to the train station by the whole family, minus mama. We waited together fo a good hour before it was time to board the train. I had come with 2 suitcases, I was leaving with 4. They helped us get on the train and then stood outside the train for 15 mins in the frigid cold.

 

There are people you meet in your lifetime who come and go with very little impact on you. Then there are those who come into your life and leave a lasting impression. My new family welcomed me in and I will never forget them. ShuPing and I sat at the window as they stood outside and I felt my throat close up and the tears well in my eyes. ErGuo hid behind a pillar to hide his tears, TeGuo put his hand to the glass to touch mine on the other side. Sisters cried and our grand nephew waved sadly, not really understanding why I was leaving.

 

The train pulled away from the station and I tried to snap one last picture, but the flash reflected off the window and all I have is a blurred last image of my new family.

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we all know all to well the sad an depressing feeling of leaving our loved one behind, However on the bright side it gives you that much more desire to go back again an again what helped me was doing all the paper work for visa, planning the next trip, and just talking 2-3 times a day online it really helps when you can do video chat seeing their face and her smile will warm your heart.

 

Great story, I would suggest you print it in some fancy font on nice bond paper and store in your wedding album.

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we all know all to well the sad an depressing feeling of leaving our loved one behind, However on the bright side it gives you that much more desire to go back again an again what helped me was doing all the paper work for visa, planning the next trip, and just talking 2-3 times a day online it really helps when you can do video chat seeing their face and her smile will warm your heart.

 

Great story, I would suggest you print it in some fancy font on nice bond paper and store in your wedding album.

My Chinese lady has sent that fortune cookie quote to me many times..

Nice saying!!

Mike

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Guest blsqueaky

Mark, I am glad that you had such a great time, and now that I am home, more time to read your stories, and one thing that still amazes me to this day is the difference in cultures, just in China alone, like showing affection in public, in GZ, no problem, it is nothing for my wife to lay one large lip lock on me, in public or in front of family, and all they do is smile, and mother gives me thumbs up.

 

Again, glad that you had a great time and wish you the best in the future.

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we all know all to well the sad an depressing feeling of leaving our loved one behind, However on the bright side it gives you that much more desire to go back again an again what helped me was doing all the paper work for visa, planning the next trip, and just talking 2-3 times a day online it really helps when you can do video chat seeing their face and her smile will warm your heart.

 

Great story, I would suggest you print it in some fancy font on nice bond paper and store in your wedding album.

That's a great idea Darrell, I'll do that, but I also have bigger plans for this story. I'd like to start from the beginning, when ShuPing and I first met on-line and flesh the whole thing out more. I want to take it further along in this visa process, maybe 3 months, and get it published.

 

I've said before that I'm not the kind to run around and protest the embassies or service centers, but I will share some stories. Everybody on this BBS has a story of delay and inconvenience, some more heart wrenching than others. I think the first step to changing this whole mess is making other people aware of it. I plan to include some of the ridiculous crap that people have gone through.

 

I've always wanted to write a book, I think I have some talent for it, now I have a compelling subject and some encouragement (thanks for all the encouragement guys). So maybe I can write a book that will get some attention and help us all out.

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Beijing (part 2)

 

The train ride to Beijing was fairly uneventful. I was really tired for some reason and so I fell asleep pretty quickly. ShuPing talked with our compartment/bunk mates and I drifted off. She woke me up to ask me for her toothbrush or something (I was laying on our valise and jackets), but I was only aware that she climbed up on the bunk over my head and I was out again.

 

I woke up around 3 AM, hoping that ShuPing would wake too and we could watch the moon and talk again as we had on our way to QiQiHaer. Alas, it was not to be. Instead I listened to a George Strait CD and looked out the window alone.

 

I went back to my hard, hot bunk (everything was piled up over the heater and it was getting really warm). When I woke again, ShuPing was awake and we chit-chatted a little, snuggled a little and looked out the window a little. I suggested she call Mr. Lo, our ever dutiful taxi driver and she did, saying he would meet us. We arrived in Beijing around 9:30 AM.

 

My biggest concern was trying to lug all of our (my) luggage from the train platform to the taxi. It took us two trips to get it off the train. ShuPing didn't want to spend the money, but I hired a boy with a cart after about 15 feet of struggling with the bags. They were doing some kind of construction on the platform and it was crazy. He got us to the taxi stand for about 12 RMB.

 

And there, right next to the curb, amid the throng of a hundred taxis, stood Mr. Lo, our ever reliable driver and resident angel. Amazingly, out of a quarter mile of possibility, he was right in the spot we had walked to. We loaded the bags and he pulled out into the mass of taxis. There we waited about an hour. I'll never understand why they don't have a thru lane for drivers with passengers, but they don't. You have to wait until the guy up front gets passengers and leaves so the next guy can get passengers and go. Still it gave us some time to show Mr. Lo some of our wedding pictures.

 

Mr. Lo took us back to the same hotel we had stayed in before (one day I'll ask ShuPing the name of that hotel). When I attempted to pay Mr. Lo, he wouldn't take it. He said it was a wedding gift.

 

HouLi had made arrangements with her sister to meet us in Beijing and bring the original marriage documents to us. I had assumed that the little red books we got were enough, no we needed the actual marriage certificates.

 

We showered and waited for her to come to our hotel room and when she did, we went to lunch in the little restaurant next to the hotel. She had asked me if I liked duck, I said I did and so that's what she ordered for our meal. When they brought it out it was sliced nicely into medallions and placed neatly on the plate with two baked duck heads facing each other on top. My first taste of Peking duck.

 

The meal was pleasant and HouLi's sister was quite nice, even paying for lunch. ShuPing had told her of our intention to visit the Forbidden City and the Summer Palace. She suggested that we go to the Forbidden City that night.

 

We did just that. We got there about an hour and a half before it was to close. When I got out of the taxi, (we apparently gave Mr. Lo a couple days off), I saw a white lady with four children. I deduced that the lady was American, from her voice and asked where she was from. She replied that she lived in ShangHai, but they were from Denver. Amazed, I told her I lived in Arvada and we both laughed at the coincidence.

 

We toured the Imperial Palace too quickly. We saw all the main attractions, but each for only a brief moment. We were even way-laid by a young guy who spoke very good English. He said he was an art student, his class was about to go to San Francisco and wanted to get my opinion about his paintings. He wanted to know if they would appeal to Americans. We followed him to a room filled with some really nice paintings, he explained the art to us, the different types and meanings behind some of them. Then came the sales pitch. It was a scam, but the paintings were original and he offered them at a great price. We still turned him down, but if I'd had more time and money....

 

My video camera was out of film, but I did get some great shots on the digital camera. I was disappointed that we didn't have more time to see it, it truly is a beautiful place. You can feel the history all around you as you walk through it.

 

We returned to the hotel and prepared for dinner. I had in mind to take ShuPing to an Italian restaurant for spaghetti, I had seen one when I first got to Beijing. I'll tell that tale in the next installment.

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