Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?

[SheLikesME?]

I will sound in here because of Dennis and Idave............I will bash my own mother or daughter if they act spoiled, BUT I ALSO BASH MYSELF.

 

Lets face it, even when I am working the hardest and conserving the most, I just don't come close to my wifeand daughters ingrained ways of saving and working hard. So I am a spoiled American Man, but I dang sure had had-it with spoiled American women.

 

Does that help????

 

 

And on another note. I noticed one talking about a Chinese gf in Canada that did not work out due to temper and your not rich enough. I can see that, and yeah a guy ought to go for what he likes..........NEXT!!!!!!!

 

Hey just kidding. But I'm still a spoiled American Man, but at least I bought the cow instead of just drinking the milk.

[peacelove]

I am a Chinese who married with my American husband, we have a happier time together,though i feel some sort pressure, when i was in china, i was an accountant, MBA. but i can not control English yet ,i can not find a right job here, i have to study hard and improve my English too , i sit for CPA examination now, i have passed one section........., my pressures are from others too, my son live with me too, he and my husband always have some troubles, like as my son knock door instead of he opened it by his key,go to bed a little late.........i don't know if it is my husband is too strict in children or my son is too bad.when he yell at my son and always say to send him to china, anyway i feel pretty press , i believe i love my husband and he does too, but realized life always have some pities.

[Yan and Tom]

I was a member of an online dating service looking for someone local, she contacted me and that was our beginning. She speaks good english, so communicating has not been a barrier in our relationship.

 

I could not be happier being married to her, and our cultural differences have only brought us closer.

 

Richard

 

 

This is my experience also, except the English is somewhat limited and we are not married yet. When Yan first contacted me I was quite surprised. By interesting coincidence we had hosted a Chinese foreign exchange student the year before without planning to.

 

As for the local women, I wrote to several and not one even showed the courtesy of sending a "no thank you" reply. Iwas not writing to the "hoties" on the site, just the ones whose profiles seemed to show compatability. I wrote to many who had not even posted a photo. Still no courtesy

 

Tom

[IllinoisDave]

I am a Chinese who married with my American husband, we have a happier time together,though i feel some sort pressure, when i was in china, i was an accountant, MBA. but i can not control English yet ,i can not find a right job here, i have to study hard and improve my English too , i sit for CPA examination now, i have passed one section........., my pressures are from others too, my son live with me too, he and my husband always have some troubles, like as my son knock door instead of he opened it by his key,go to bed a little late.........i don't know if it is my husband is too strict in children or my son is too bad.when he yell at my son and always say to send him to china, anyway i feel pretty press , i believe i love my husband and he does too, but realized life always have some pities.

Welcome to Candle peacelove. Sounds like you're experiencing some common problems/anxieties that many of our wives/fiancees have. It's fairly normal and will most likely get better with time. This is a pretty good place to find others who share your experience.

[warpedbored]

WARNING! American woman bashing will not be tolerated.

[parapara_13]

I never planned on married someone outside the US. It just happened.

 

Many women I talked too in America are very open about talking about sex, previous relationships, what they look for in a guy, etc. However, when it comes to politics, finances, debt, they shut-up like a clam.

 

My wife and I met by chance on Skype. We were always talking about financial concerns, politics, and business for over 6 months. Eventually, we discussed our histories and family stories and that's when it clicked.

 

Now, we are married and are waiting on the visa process.

[jhammer]

I never planned on married someone outside the US. It just happened.

 

Many women I talked too in America are very open about talking about sex, previous relationships, what they look for in a guy, etc. However, when it comes to politics, finances, debt, they shut-up like a clam.

 

My wife and I met by chance on Skype. We were always talking about financial concerns, politics, and business for over 6 months. Eventually, we discussed our histories and family stories and that's when it clicked.

 

Now, we are married and are waiting on the visa process.

 

It's dictated purely by Darwinism. In diversification is survival. That's my incentive and the rubber really hits the road between theory and reality in my situation as well. My SO's sensibilities, handed down from thousands of years to her, compliment as a stabilizer to my schizophrenic American sensibilities well. Mileage may vary, but, being an armchair student of Asian culture led me there years ago. And unlike my first g/f of Japanese decent who didn't like sex, and my first wife of Korean decent who also didn't like sex much, my anglo wife who did, but I didn't with her, I am now at the point where I must stop myself: I have said enough

[rogerluli]

Yeah, I've seen my share of A-hole American men in China. Lie, Cheat, Misrepresent, etc. One guy I met in Shanghai I heard now he's beating his Philippine wife and cheating on her. Another guy calls Asia the "whore-i-ent" and is trying to mount as many Asian women as he can. Last I heard he was somewhere in Vietnam.

 

idiots!

 

This type is refered to as SEXpats...

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

There are jerks all over the Globe you can not hide from this.

Back in the days when the Opium addiction cursed China and particually Shanghai. Shanghai was refered to as the whorehouse of the Orient. Some monikers take along time to die.

We see it right here in the USA with the drug addiction young girls are out plying their trade to get another fix.

[Dennis143]

There are jerks all over the Globe you can not hide from this.

Back in the days when the Opium addiction cursed China and particually Shanghai. Shanghai was refered to as the whorehouse of the Orient. Some monikers take along time to die.

We see it right here in the USA with the drug addiction young girls are out plying their trade to get another fix.

http://i40.tinypic.com/2u94kd5.gif

[mercator]

Living in a small town where there used to be two Chinese ladies and now my wife is back to being the only one (our neighbor was Taiwanese, but they moved after 8 months - husband lost his job), people are either uninterested, think she is like my pet, or assume I couldn't get a 'real' wife.

 

I simply don't care. They meet her, they like her. Then they know why. Her English is still coming, as she is incredibly shy, but she has an aura about her that people can't help but like her.

 

I find with family, I have to defend the internet dating thing more than who I ended up with. These are relatives I have had to show how to turn on their computers before, so its a mindset thing. I'm in I.T., and computers have been in my mindset for 25 years.

 

To people we trust or who we know can empathize (like you all) I simply say "yuanfen." We literally searched the world and found each other.

[Guest jin979]

i read this tread with concern, if you really think chinese women are less sesitive, selfice or emotional than westen woman. then you lie to yourself.

in fact we are probably more of these than most westen women, to use your language "very high maintainance" underestimate us. our needs and wishes you will feel this fast.

once we marry you , you have big responsibilities to learn fast. remember patience and flexibity is not our personality.

[rogerluli]

once we marry you , you have big responsibilities to learn fast. remember patience and flexibity is not our personality.

 

Wow did I ever have to learn this... Jin knows of what she speaks...

[shushuweiwei]

OK, tell me. All you intellectuals and just plain folk like me. I want to know why you decided to go marry someone in a foreign country who can hardly speak a lick of English and you can't speak any of their's.

 

Why in the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????

 

I just don't get it!

 

 

Oh, and Randy is not allowed to respond.

 

Why would one choose to explain or defend?

[Dennis143]

 

Why would one choose to explain or defend?

Good question/answer.

 

Truth is, I've never had to answer any naysayers anyway. If I would, I'd tell the truth in that I couldn't find an American woman who'd put up with me for very long. And, that by not having a wife who understands all the crap that comes out of my mouth just might buy me a few extra years with her.