Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?

[Rick1952]

I lost my first wife Judy, suddenly, and unexpectedly. We were married 34 years (we were together 38). We had a wonderful marriage, we did everything together, and now I was lonely.... As I have been away from the dating scene for quite some time, I turned to the internet. In fact, I used cherryblossoms.com. I thought Asian women were exceptionally beautiful, and they had a reputation of being good and loyal wives. They also will often choose older men, and I was 55 at the time. I was looking for a face that would make me say WOW, every time that I woke up in the morning. I found about 10 women that had beautiful faces, and profiles that intrigued me, so I began writing them. All were very nice ladies. I asked them to view my deceased wife¡¯s memorial site, so they could get an idea of what Judy and I shared in our previous marriage. http://judy-emery.memory-of.com/about.aspx?c=1 if any of you are interested.

Yumei, my new Chinese wife, felt a kindred spirit with Judy, and the family life shown on her site. Yumei was the woman who said to me, ¡°I am envious of that family life, and I think we should write to each other for awhile, and see where it goes¡±. So I stopped writing to 9 other beautiful Asian women, and only wrote to the one with a beautiful heart to match her beautiful face.

Some people never find a real love in their whole lives, I have been blessed two times!! Yumei¡¯s personality is nothing like Judy, but she shares Judy¡¯s character. Yumei is an intelligent, loving, honest, and wonderful woman. She is an incredible mother. Did I mention that her beautiful face makes me go WOW every morning, and her love for me, makes my soul go WOW every day.....

 

I read through Judy's memorial site. It is so touching.

 

I am honored and touched that you would take the time to view her website. Judy was a remarkable woman. I think that in the 38 years we were together, she never told me a lie. She loved me fiercely, through good and bad.

Yumei has grown to love me with that same tender, and determined love. At one time, my sadness overwhelmed Yumei, but she never gave up on me. She helped bring me through to the happy place that I am today

[izus]

because american white girls are just too plain.

[SmilingAsia]

It's too boring, no challenging to date someone of your own culture: after 30 minutes talking, you know his culture and background, his history, current, his future and your future, you can even figure out how much hair he has on his body, nothing to explore .

[NewDay2006]

I lost my first wife Judy, suddenly, and unexpectedly. We were married 34 years (we were together 38). We had a wonderful marriage, we did everything together, and now I was lonely.... As I have been away from the dating scene for quite some time, I turned to the internet. In fact, I used cherryblossoms.com. I thought Asian women were exceptionally beautiful, and they had a reputation of being good and loyal wives. They also will often choose older men, and I was 55 at the time. I was looking for a face that would make me say WOW, every time that I woke up in the morning. I found about 10 women that had beautiful faces, and profiles that intrigued me, so I began writing them. All were very nice ladies. I asked them to view my deceased wife¡¯s memorial site, so they could get an idea of what Judy and I shared in our previous marriage. http://judy-emery.memory-of.com/about.aspx?c=1 if any of you are interested.

Yumei, my new Chinese wife, felt a kindred spirit with Judy, and the family life shown on her site. Yumei was the woman who said to me, ¡°I am envious of that family life, and I think we should write to each other for awhile, and see where it goes¡±. So I stopped writing to 9 other beautiful Asian women, and only wrote to the one with a beautiful heart to match her beautiful face.

Some people never find a real love in their whole lives, I have been blessed two times!! Yumei¡¯s personality is nothing like Judy, but she shares Judy¡¯s character. Yumei is an intelligent, loving, honest, and wonderful woman. She is an incredible mother. Did I mention that her beautiful face makes me go WOW every morning, and her love for me, makes my soul go WOW every day.....

 

I read through Judy's memorial site. It is so touching.

 

I am honored and touched that you would take the time to view her website. Judy was a remarkable woman. I think that in the 38 years we were together, she never told me a lie. She loved me fiercely, through good and bad.

Yumei has grown to love me with that same tender, and determined love. At one time, my sadness overwhelmed Yumei, but she never gave up on me. She helped bring me through to the happy place that I am today

Rick, your Judy sounded like a very good wife. I'm sorry for your loss.

I wish you the best in your future with Yumei.

[NewDay2006]

I don't have a deep reason why, I just was always attracted to ASian ladies since Connie in the 7th grade in Flushing, NY... she was so fine. It does take courage to go outside your own "group", not that was a thought back then.

[lostinblue]

About 10 years ago a friend was in China teaching. Before he and his wife were to come home he sent me an e-mail . Is there anything I can bring you from China. I said in a joking manner How about a nice chinese woman.Little did I know that half the population wants out of China. Next thing I know I have an phone number and I said what the heck. I went to see her for a few weeks. She did move to Canada about 3 hours from my home. The relationship lasted for 4-5 years in total. She had a temper and I was not rich enough. So we went out different paths.

I really did enjoy the cultural difference .I went on match.com years later. They did have a place for income level of the desired partner. If you took an average "5" woman her "requirement " for income of her future husband would rise $15-20,000 for every point above "5" that they were. The one's that I could afford according to them were 50-100 pounds more than I weigh. Then you had better have a full head of hair. A new car helps also. Then there is the " I love living on the water thing" That is a half million dollar item right there. This is what I have seen. Bashing women .....no just the truth.

Once in a while you go out for dinner to a chinese restaurant with friends. Something just gets in your head watching the woman work and serve you. You hardly see a lazy person working in a chinese restaurant. After many years of being divorced and out of a relationship I decided to go back to china for a partner. It took a while to sift through many different women. Mainly using match.com. Having dated a very respectable chinese woman made it a great deal faster. I think I talked to my share of scammers. It sounds weird maybe but I used this first woman as a bench mark. Outside her temper she had a great many outstanding qualities about her. Very classy a lot of drive.

I found Yan . It has worked out very well. Few problems. We both are easy going and have little temper. (nothing worse than a chinese woman with a temper)Yan has a great deal of drive also. For her age she looks great also Yes it would be boring married to a white american woman now. I have friends who have hardly traveled out of this state. Whine because all the good ones are married. Would never think of an international marriage. This being involved with someone from china has opened up my life more than you would think. What go to china "are you crazy"There are people reading this who's relationship has failed or will fail in the future. We hope not but a certain percentage will fail. Even if it does you are so far ahead of that guy or gal working next to you . You have had a bit more of "life"

than most .

[bokiwen]

OK, tell me. All you intellectuals and just plain folk like me. I want to know why you decided to go marry someone in a foreign country who can hardly speak a lick of English and you can't speak any of their's...

 

I'm lucky my wife has a very good grasp on English, and a very good education level (in fact, she wants to continue her studies in Jan. at a US university, but I'm thinking more about summer semester).

 

The way I answer this question is talking about one of my formal girlfriends, whom I told I had to go to German to do some work.... The next words out of her mouth were--- are you going to drive your car there or fly there??? Humh.... Have they finished some trans-atlantic tunnel or perhaps some bridge over the bering straits that I don't know about? (If they have some bridge over the bering straits, how do I get a transit visa through Russia, and what's the road / gas situation like in Siberia or for that matter in the trans-atlantic tunnell??) Anyways, my wife knows it's not possible to drive from America to Germany, so that's a plus!!

Edited December 10, 2008 by bokiwen (see edit history)

[Meelo]

OK, tell me. All you intellectuals and just plain folk like me. I want to know why you decided to go marry someone in a foreign country who can hardly speak a lick of English and you can't speak any of their's.

 

Why in the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????

 

I just don't get it!

 

 

Oh, and Randy is not allowed to respond.

 

 

I tried the American thing for several years, but I didn't like the verbal abuse. I met my wife in America and she had good English. But what amazed me was her story, it was different than any other woman I met. Now I can't possibly imagine going back to an American woman because of the lack of International feelings.

 

I always liked Japanese women because they are so good to there men even when the men treat them bad. At first I didn't know the difference. Now my wife treats me like a king, but isn't affraid to speak her opinion. haha

[Dennis143]

Because I speak Chinese and my wife speaks English.

 

I have a long time interest in Chinese culture, Chinese Medicine, Chinese martial arts, etc. Because I like the sense of humor of the Chinese ppl.

 

Most of the American women I've met are one of the following:

 

Gold diggers (only looking for someone with a certain salary range) Drinkers (their past time after work is to go drinking) Psycho Religious (go to church 6 times a week) Uncontrollable spenders (always fighting debt) Some other neurotic hangup.

Nothing in common with me.

 

Of course, you have to look out for some of these things on the Chinese side but for me it's much easier to find someone I'm compatible with in the Chinese culture than American.

 

I often think of the movie "Dances with Wolves" when I think of myself and the Chinese culture.

I think you, or anyone, can make your point without slamming our American sisters. Quite a few are Candle members.

 

I am certain that American women can make an equal list of what might disgust them about American men. But, what would that serve?

[natrigon]

Because I speak Chinese and my wife speaks English.

 

I have a long time interest in Chinese culture, Chinese Medicine, Chinese martial arts, etc. Because I like the sense of humor of the Chinese ppl.

 

Most of the American women I've met are one of the following:

 

Gold diggers (only looking for someone with a certain salary range) Drinkers (their past time after work is to go drinking) Psycho Religious (go to church 6 times a week) Uncontrollable spenders (always fighting debt) Some other neurotic hangup.

Nothing in common with me.

 

Of course, you have to look out for some of these things on the Chinese side but for me it's much easier to find someone I'm compatible with in the Chinese culture than American.

 

I often think of the movie "Dances with Wolves" when I think of myself and the Chinese culture.

I think you, or anyone, can make your point without slamming our American sisters. Quite a few are Candle members.

 

I am certain that American women can make an equal list of what might disgust them about American men. But, what would that serve?

 

He clearly mentioned that "most of the American women he met" are "one" of the following. Not only do I share his specific situation but I do not think he was slamming all American women. It seems to me that he was just explaining his thoughts about the specific American women that he met.

[HaoRan]

yep, don't want to start a flame war but there's no way to edit the post.

 

Anyway, I'm sure there's some good American women out there. Sorry gals.

[Li & John]

Because I speak Chinese and my wife speaks English.

 

I have a long time interest in Chinese culture, Chinese Medicine, Chinese martial arts, etc. Because I like the sense of humor of the Chinese ppl.

 

Most of the American women I've met are one of the following:

 

Gold diggers (only looking for someone with a certain salary range) Drinkers (their past time after work is to go drinking) Psycho Religious (go to church 6 times a week) Uncontrollable spenders (always fighting debt) Some other neurotic hangup.

Nothing in common with me.

 

Of course, you have to look out for some of these things on the Chinese side but for me it's much easier to find someone I'm compatible with in the Chinese culture than American.

 

I often think of the movie "Dances with Wolves" when I think of myself and the Chinese culture.

I think you, or anyone, can make your point without slamming our American sisters. Quite a few are Candle members.

 

I am certain that American women can make an equal list of what might disgust them about American men. But, what would that serve?

 

He clearly mentioned that "most of the American women he met" are "one" of the following. Not only do I share his specific situation but I do not think he was slamming all American women. It seems to me that he was just explaining his thoughts about the specific American women that he met.

I would agree with you 100%

[lubmahgrl]

OK, tell me. All you intellectuals and just plain folk like me. I want to know why you decided to go marry someone in a foreign country who can hardly speak a lick of English and you can't speak any of their's.

 

Why in the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????

 

I just don't get it!

 

 

Oh, and Randy is not allowed to respond.

 

I've always only been attracted to asian woman so naturally I was looking for a asian girl. I figured one locally tho . Just happened Yaoyao had another plan and she quickly stole my heart, So now I am here and my love is in china

[IllinoisDave]

Many American woman wish to demonstrate that they are independent but they confuse this with being inconsiderate to their men and society in general. They can not differentiate the difference.

And many American men are fond of imposing onto American women THEIR OWN idea of what being independent means and how women should act while being independent. Sheesh!

[HaoRan]

Yeah, I've seen my share of A-hole American men in China. Lie, Cheat, Misrepresent, etc. One guy I met in Shanghai I heard now he's beating his Philippine wife and cheating on her. Another guy calls Asia the "whore-i-ent" and is trying to mount as many Asian women as he can. Last I heard he was somewhere in Vietnam.

 

idiots!