WESTERN BOYS

[Richard & Li]

When I was young, my Dad was strict and wouldn't hesitate to 'tan my hide' if I got out of line.

 

We were country folks and I had a lot of freedom to go out in the woods or down to the lake. We didn't have a TV until I was a teenager and even then Dad would only allow us kids to watch a couple shows. I read a lot of books (and still do).

 

I've never raised a kid. I met our son when he was 18. Fortunately, he's a good guy and accepts me as his father. We have no problems.

[LaurenAmber]

I was only ever whooped once (I i really did deserve it that time). But overall i never needed a whoppin. I knew my mom was boss. I was spoiled in proper ways (Like an extra cookie if i got an A) and wasn't spoiled in the wrong ways (7pm TV went off, no exceptions, didn't matter if i was in the middle of something)

 

I think parents don't have time for thier kids. Therefore, no titme for dicipline. That leads to blaming media, politics, and everyone but themselves for thier children's poor behavior.

 

I think it just boils down to spend time with your kids and assert that you are thier PARENT. You are not thier buddy and you are not thier doormat. Get that straight in thier heads and things should be fine.

[JingJoseph]

no.. no if soft children they no have self control or respect for olders, this will cause problems when they are older.

 

I am 2nd mother so cannont intervene much in this, but i say westen man and parents are to soft.

 

Chinese children much more discilpine

 

I agree..Every where I've been in China, around our home,

at the 7-11, Pak-in-shop, bus stop, just walking down the

street meeting kids just out of school, at the malls, even

at McDonalds I was amazed how polite and respectfull

children and teenagers were.

 

Sure some are cant say theres not. It is different here.

Children not much but teenagers you see any where you

go here makes you wonder whats thier problem. Many

have no morals, no respect for anything it seems.

Not even thierself. Understand the (2nd mother) thing

to.

 

Its just my HO but many times she walks a fine line.

Many times have seen the parent take the side of the

child even though they know better.

Makes it even harder on her if she is from another

country. Seen it to many times to say it's not.

Just my HO but agree with you 100%.

 

My wifes role in my teenage sons life has not been

(2nd mom). She is mom and he has learned from

her, listens to her and takes what she tells him

to heart. Shes from China but her Chinglish is better

than my English or his. I do not get in the way.

 

 

She says if you dont say it up front soon it will

 

 

 

 

stick out behind. Agree with you 100%.

 

 

 

 

let her post in the new chinese forum, yes ?

 

 

lets us hear what all your wives/fiances have to say

 

Great idea Jin, will ak her to post

[griz326]

I don't know much about disciplining children, except that when they are small you need to spank them until they understand you're the big dog. Once they get it, they listen to what you say...until they get to their teens when they want to break free - then all bets are off.

 

I cannot speak about all Chinese children, but my step-daughter is a diligent student but a little bitch. She was yelling at her mother and snatched something from my wife (I thought she was going to hit her); I reacted instinctively, grabbed her, doubled up my fist and then realized I was about to kill a little, 18 year old Chinese girl. Somehow I stopped myself.

 

My step-daughter is still a little bitch, check your dictionaries - you'll see her picture there, but she's not yelling at her mom and definitely not making any fast moves toward her now. Most interestingly, my step-daughter treats me with much more respect and seeks my counsel. Go figure.

[natrigon]

When children act out there is a reason that needs to be found out and discussed not beaten out. When they are young they are curious and want to explore, that is healthy but exploration and curiosity needs to be controlled just not with the threat of harm. Later on they might be testing boundries. Either way it all starts at the beginning with the parents. Parents that resort to immediate beatings when a child first acts improperly has to keep ramping up the beatings and threats of punishment to have the same effect. It never ends and then the children might dissapear when they are are 18, I know I would if I was in a spiral of beatings.

 

In my opinion spankings, beatings and threats are the most temporary and ineffective means of raising healthy, curious, smart and respectful kids.

 

So spank, beat and threaten if you like, I do not care. But there is something at the core of the issues and making "IF" - "THEN" rules that are clear work. "IF" you do this "THEN" this will happen... or "IF" you want this "THEN" you need to do that. Does not matter if the children or parents are Chinese or American.

Edited December 9, 2008 by natrigon (see edit history)

[LaurenAmber]

When children act out there is a reason that needs to be found out and discussed not beaten out. When they are young they are curious and want to explore, that is healthy but exploration and curiosity needs to be controlled just not with the threat of harm. Later on they might be testing boundries. Either way it all starts at the beginning with the parents. Parents that resort to immediate beatings when a child first acts improperly has to keep ramping up the beatings and threats of punishment to have the same effect. It never ends and then the children might dissapear when they are are 18, I know I would if I was in a spiral of beatings.

 

In my opinion spankings, beatings and threats are the most temporary and ineffective means of raising healthy, curious, smart and respectful kids.

 

So spank, beat and threaten if you like, I do not care. But there is something at the core of the issues and making "IF" - "THEN" rules that are clear work. "IF" you do this "THEN" this will happen... or "IF" you want this "THEN" you need to do that. Does not matter if the children or parents are Chinese or American.

 

 

I do agree for the most part. However kids these days are getting worse and worse. There are many ways to dicipline children that don't include spanking (I think "beatings" is a strong word).

 

I got spanked once in my life, and it's because i took it way too far. I was punished by being sent to my room and having my TV taken out of my room. On my mother's exit i threw a coat hanger at her face. I got spanked. Not beaten, but spanked. It asserted pretty heavily to me that that kinda crap wasn't going to fly. I wasn't living in fear of my mother or anything. She taught me well and taught me to consequences to my actions. One of the potentials was a spanking yes, something I wanted to avoid.

 

I think parents need ot take more time to teach kids consequences, and spanking is a potential consequence. Some parents just take it too far and it bothers me. I was in Wal*Mart and a kid was crying because thier parent refused to buy them a certain toy (already a problem that shouldn't exist if they had taught thier child right but ANYWAY) and the parent just yanked up thier kid by the arm and hit thier butt ridiculously hard. That, in my opinion is WAY too far and crosses the line into beating. Some kids need a spanking, but no child deserves a beating