China and CANDLE

[heyjimi]

yeah,i often find it strange,to read some negative posts about china,and chinese women too,it is odd,,as far as countries,there is no perfect country,never will be,for me,when i told friends and family i was going to china,they all freaked,China !!!it is a communist country.When i got to China,i realized how much propaganda we Americans have been fed by the so called freedom of speech media. In reality,I witnessed a beautiful country,beautiful people,and i freely did what i wanted to do,i mean i wasn't walking the streets in fear,the funny thing is,i miss my wife,and i also find myself ,missing China.i truely love both countries,and i am always telling people how wonderful china is....of course it has many issues,and problems,what country doesn't? But ,i still love China,it's culture, I am on here,on this board,killing time,but i enjoy reading the posts,i too,love the Chinese ladies that come on here and post,great insights that they have,i too wished more would come on and post.

ah,just some of my thoughts

 

jimi

[david_dawei]

bill,

 

great post in terms of what you think and feel is an important issue... and I agree with most of it... but I would not hold up BJ people as representative of china... There are a billion people trying to make life work in different ways... get to know as many as possible.

 

China is not perfect. This country is not perfect too. Take the good as well the bad.

Tony.. I think that is the first time I've heard a truism from you which is from the bible Your a CFL prophet

 

The vast majority of the Chinese people don't care about these things. Why should the people on CFL?

I think this quite true about much that we bemoan in the western world... but I also know that what north china worries about is not the same as west china or south china may be concerned about... but certainly what western world imposes as it's ethic on other countries is nothing less a need for lasik surgery...

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

bill,

 

great post in terms of what you think and feel is an important issue... and I agree with most of it... but I would not hold up BJ people as representative of china... There are a billion people trying to make life work in different ways... get to know as many as possible.

 

China is not perfect. This country is not perfect too. Take the good as well the bad.

Tony.. I think that is the first time I've heard a truism from you which is from the bible Your a CFL prophet

 

The vast majority of the Chinese people don't care about these things. Why should the people on CFL?

I think this quite true about much that we bemoan in the western world... but I also know that what north china worries about is not the same as west china or south china may be concerned about... but certainly what western world imposes as it's ethic on other countries is nothing less a need for lasik surgery...

 

Aha Mr. Dave....

 

Spoken like a yankee being cautious not to tell a southerner how to make grits....

 

Edited July 25, 2008 by ShaQuaNew (see edit history)

[izus]

bill,

great post in terms of what you think and feel is an important issue... and I agree with most of it... but I would not hold up BJ people as representative of china... There are a billion people trying to make life work in different ways... get to know as many as possible.

ok..

i would say it represents part of China....

why would not a capital of a country represent its country?

ok...

so i love Beijing!!

 

i guess it could be considered people who say they LOVE NY would be like saying they love USA... not the same thing....your right

 

with all the Tibet crap going on in the last few months i just like to be a supporter. when i went over there in May a few of my friends could not believe a was traveling there at that time. i explained to him best i could about details.... but i wont swing this thread in that direction.

[rogerluli]

I have a little time dealing with people that think China is an evil country unless it remakes itself into a political image of the USA.

 

They bemoan the fact that China doesn't have freedom of the press. The criticize China for not having massive social programs to take care of everyone just like we do.

 

The vast majority of the Chinese people don't care about these things. Why should the people on CFL?

 

The Chinese people DO care about curruption and pollution. If the people on this board want to care about the Chinese people, they should focus on what the Chinese care about, not about what they think is important.

 

 

I'm hearing a bell with the tintinnabulations of truth.

 

The US has deservedly earned the reputation of wanting to impose its way of life on everyone living and breathing on this round ball in the universe.

 

US news about China is mostly trash... But if you follow the really good international sources like The International Herald, the BBC, and The Economist and China Digital News you will discover amazingly enough that China has actual problems both internal and external. And Chinese people do NOT only care about corruption and the environment if anyone actually bothered to read my post about the Pew Report. I think sometimes that those who can find only good news about China just do not read widely about what is actually going on... Ignorance is bliss...

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

 

US news about China is mostly trash... But if you follow the really good international sources like The International Herald, the BBC, and

 

The Economist and China Digital News you will discover amazingly enough that China has actual problems both internal and external. And Chinese people do NOT only care about corruption and the environment if anyone actually bothered to read my post about the Pew Report.

 

 

I think sometimes that those who can find only good news about China just do not read widely about what is actually going on... Ignorance is bliss...

 

Bad news about China is relatively easy to find. Some of the news is actually true; some of it is written from a completely negative perspective, kinda akin to the Lou Dobbs and Nancy Pelosi perspective. Those kind of views are shared by many Americans; many of which believe that China needs to be force-fed by the West.

 

China is attempting to resolve some of its problems, but some things are so deeply rooted they may never change; like government corruption, pushing and shoving in lines, dirty water and air, etc.

 

One can get over-focused on these issues and see them in only a negative light. Consider the father that has a learning disabled child. Everyone that interacts with the child can see he/she isn't like other kids. Some kids and even parents can be downright cruel to the child; others recognize the issue and point at the positive.

 

Looking at the good side of China doesn't mean you sacrifice what you know about the less than good sides. I find more value in posts that cite the difficulties and challenges facing China that take the time and ink to even things out with the positive. Example: The air in Beijing and many other cities is heavily polluted. There are many illegal factories that dump untreated waste into rivers and ponds. But, Panasonic for example opened a new factory in Beijing, that is now recycling more than 85% of its wastewater. They then use that recycled water for drinking, plumbing, and watering a literal forest of plants and trees on their grounds and in their buildings. When you look around, you have to wonder if this small but expensive effort will pay off? I personally think it already is; more right now from the positive impression it leaves with those that see it and then want to mimic it.

Edited July 26, 2008 by ShaQuaNew (see edit history)

[Guest lilac6451]

All media are liars. They are only here to serve as a tool for the government to fool its people.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

All media are liars. They are only here to serve as a tool for the government to fool its people.

 

That's pretty harsh; and untrue. Most journalists strive to validate the information they present in a story before it goes to print or broadcast. They are human however, and have their personal perspective about things. The world media is changing, with the advent of high-profile take-overs by wealthy corporations and titans. Some of these corporations have an agenda, that can easily be recognized in their stories.

 

Anyone that gets their news from a single-source and considers it true, increases their chances exponentially of being duped.

[shaffej7070]

All media are liars. They are only here to serve as a tool for the government to fool its people.

 

 

Absolutely not true! It's just a business serving its own needs in the form of profit. Yes, we are misinformed, yes stories are sensationalized and slanted toward the editorial staff's and advertiser's agenda, but I believe the media does more good than harm; especially at the local level.

Edited July 26, 2008 by yimi386 (see edit history)

[NUWORLD]

At first I was not going to write this at all, then I thought I would like to say my piece but not instantly have it shot down, then i thought maybe I¡¯ll write it in Chinese....but what good would that do?

 

I really enjoy reading CANDLE and it just bothers me that some of the members here just ruin it for a lot of the others. I have actually been threatened for posts I¡¯ve made, but that¡¯s another thread.

For one, I would really like to see more Chinese opinions on this website, because that was the idea for me originally joining the forum, to learn more about the chinese culture. I love Eunice's and Joanne's posts.

 

One of the things I am constantly being bothered about CANDLE is the amount of negativity about life in general that is present here. It embarrasses me to think that a Chinese person with no western background or influence will think that this is our typical American attitude. I find myself constantly reading about people who seem to enjoy pointing out all the problems that China has and of course all the issues that circle this country of ours. On top of that somehow even when we begin other posts about things that have nothing to do with these topics they somehow find their way back to the same trash bin. Now I¡¯m not saying CANDLE as a whole, there are some very positive members and threads here and quite a few posters who you can always expect an interesting read. I think one of the comments I read that really drew me to this subject said something like ¡°you can¡¯t handle the truth¡± of course there is going to be negativity in our lives. Out of the 90% or so of the people on CANDLE claim to have found the love of their life from China, should not they see the light through all the darkness that is in today¡¯s word. I promise that you can focus on things a lot better in the light then you can in the dark. My wife and I just decide to focus on Jesus Christ which makes it much easier for us to see the positive things in our lives and what is around us, but that¡¯s another topic I¡¯ve learned to try to stay clear of on these boards. Of course to have only negative things in your mind all day not only clogs your heart from the light but wastes your energy and also is terrible for every vital organ in your body. It seems to me there is just a better way of living than to always be looking for some sort of fight.

You would think the people who have decided to marry and accept a Chinese spouse to have different thoughts and feelings about China. You would think they would try to stay open minded and learn as much as possible about his or her family and her customs. You would think they would try to learn the language, try to see life through her eyes the way it was for her and maybe still is. Not all bad, not all good. The main reason of why I love China so much and I say it every time I return is I love the people who make up Beijing. Every time I am there I am overwhelmed with the genuine ways of the average person. I have never run into a problem with someone in Beijing everyone is always extremely friendly to me and very excited to see I try to speak with them. There are too many people in world today who don¡¯t know all the good in China and like to speak lies about it. Call it jealousy or call it whatever you want. But we are the ones who should be sticking up for our spouse¡¯s country. We are the ones who should be explaining all the positive things about the people and about how beautiful China is. The perseverance and positive thinking is what makes the Chinese one of the most unique individuals on this planet. Since we love our wives so much as we say we do let¡¯s act like it and start telling everyone how special China and the Chinese people really are. I¡¯m sure there are plenty of good things we can say rather than talk bad about the Middle Country. Candle should be the perfect canvas for just that.

 

 

ÎÒ°®Öйú ÎÒ°®ÎÒµÄÌ«Ì«

 

izus: Very well said, I too feel as you do!

I can remember the days when one would ask a question and get many valid reply's that where very helpful during this long stressful process of getting our SO's here with us.

 

But like you said when one asks a good and valid question it turns in to a pissing match.

 

This is why i do not post as much as i did before.

One never gets the answer one is looking for.

Don't get me wrong, CFL is my family and will always be.

BUT!!! there will always be the ones that try to bring you down or try to scare you.

 

As we all know, Life is life and it is not easy.

Yes! We and everyone here on CFL has been to china at some time or will be soon. I respect those the are just starting out.

 

Like you said:

 

You would think the people who have decided to marry and accept a Chinese spouse to have different thoughts and feelings about China. You would think they would try to stay open minded and learn as much as possible about his or her family and her customs. You would think they would try to learn the language, try to see life through her eyes the way it was for her and maybe still is. Not all bad, not all good.

 

With that being said: I know of many CHINESE friends i have here in th U.S. that there spouse do not want nothing with the Chinese culture.;

Between you and i. IMO I think this idea is just BS.

 

IMO, Why would one go clear across the other side of the globe and marry (anyone from a other country) not to learn there culture.

That is just stupid!!!

 

izus: I respect your thoughts and your feelings, I feel the same.

This is why i do not post as mush as i used to do.

 

Yes: My wife is here with me now, But that does not change anything.

I still have AOS coming up here in a few months and yes, I WILL be asking questions here on CFL.

 

Will i get the answers I'm look for? Maybe? Maybe not!!

The point is, Like you said, Will we get the answer we want or will it turn into a pissing match. Only CFL knows.

 

I love this family (CFL) but only God knows if the answers will be true!!

 

Welcome to the Nuworld

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

Amen Brother izus, Amen. Bash here on CFL and you'll get the grief you deserve! Well said.

thats really not what i meant....

 

Of course it's not what you meant. Most everyone understands exactly what you say as you said it so well. Getting grief for expressing your love for your Country, your partner, be it China, America or whatever should just not be a part of this or any other forum on this site. Nonetheless, it happens way too often.

[georgeandli]

And that wasn't exactly what I meant either. I meant constructive criticism, not the blanket bashing. The only way you'll find a site where you're right 100% of the time is starting your own. But then of course after you weed out all the folks who disagree you'll be posting to yourself.

[Li & John]

At first I was not going to write this at all, then I thought I would like to say my piece but not instantly have it shot down, then i thought maybe I¡¯ll write it in Chinese....but what good would that do?

 

I really enjoy reading CANDLE and it just bothers me that some of the members here just ruin it for a lot of the others. I have actually been threatened for posts I¡¯ve made, but that¡¯s another thread.

For one, I would really like to see more Chinese opinions on this website, because that was the idea for me originally joining the forum, to learn more about the chinese culture. I love Eunice's and Joanne's posts.

 

One of the things I am constantly being bothered about CANDLE is the amount of negativity about life in general that is present here. It embarrasses me to think that a Chinese person with no western background or influence will think that this is our typical American attitude. I find myself constantly reading about people who seem to enjoy pointing out all the problems that China has and of course all the issues that circle this country of ours. On top of that somehow even when we begin other posts about things that have nothing to do with these topics they somehow find their way back to the same trash bin. Now I¡¯m not saying CANDLE as a whole, there are some very positive members and threads here and quite a few posters who you can always expect an interesting read. I think one of the comments I read that really drew me to this subject said something like ¡°you can¡¯t handle the truth¡± of course there is going to be negativity in our lives. Out of the 90% or so of the people on CANDLE claim to have found the love of their life from China, should not they see the light through all the darkness that is in today¡¯s word. I promise that you can focus on things a lot better in the light then you can in the dark. My wife and I just decide to focus on Jesus Christ which makes it much easier for us to see the positive things in our lives and what is around us, but that¡¯s another topic I¡¯ve learned to try to stay clear of on these boards. Of course to have only negative things in your mind all day not only clogs your heart from the light but wastes your energy and also is terrible for every vital organ in your body. It seems to me there is just a better way of living than to always be looking for some sort of fight.

You would think the people who have decided to marry and accept a Chinese spouse to have different thoughts and feelings about China. You would think they would try to stay open minded and learn as much as possible about his or her family and her customs. You would think they would try to learn the language, try to see life through her eyes the way it was for her and maybe still is. Not all bad, not all good. The main reason of why I love China so much and I say it every time I return is I love the people who make up Beijing. Every time I am there I am overwhelmed with the genuine ways of the average person. I have never run into a problem with someone in Beijing everyone is always extremely friendly to me and very excited to see I try to speak with them. There are too many people in world today who don¡¯t know all the good in China and like to speak lies about it. Call it jealousy or call it whatever you want. But we are the ones who should be sticking up for our spouse¡¯s country. We are the ones who should be explaining all the positive things about the people and about how beautiful China is. The perseverance and positive thinking is what makes the Chinese one of the most unique individuals on this planet. Since we love our wives so much as we say we do let¡¯s act like it and start telling everyone how special China and the Chinese people really are. I¡¯m sure there are plenty of good things we can say rather than talk bad about the Middle Country. Candle should be the perfect canvas for just that.

 

 

ÎÒ°®Öйú ÎÒ°®ÎÒµÄÌ«Ì«

The first thing I will say is that My wife and I are not very religious. Your post here is right on. My wife opened my eyes to a beautiful Country that I love. I don't like when people bash China, it does make me very angry to read these types of posts. My wife loves her country and tells me in time we will move back and I agreed to it.

I love America but I love China too. Both Countrys are not perfect, you just have to take the good with the bad. I have been to big Citys and small ones, I love them all.

[Li & John]

The more I wrote this, the more I thought about how CANDLE works differently for different people. For some of us it’s a place for people to talk and brag about how they love China. For others it could be used for strictly good information on the visa travels, maybe they don’t have anything to be happy about to begin with, maybe CANDLE is the outlet for them to complain about life and how miserable they are. Different people have different perspective on life and I suppose CANDLE works for us all.

 

 

 

I STILL LOVE CHINA!!

Bill, I do not doubt for a moment that the majority here on this board have an extreme love for most all things China. I am certain that all of us are probably the best ambassadors China could ever dream of having. I would also venture to say that when confronted with biases about China all of us quickly go (or have gone) to China's defense and try to re-educate those who are ignorant!

 

On the other hand, Candle is the one place where free and open discussion about the many issues relating to China can be aired without fear of being misinterpreted.

Well, I would not say,"Candle is the one place where free and open discussion about the many issues relating to China can be aired without fear of being misinterpreted".

I guess your posts have never been deleted like "me" and many others. This is why many people don't write much anymore only the "select" few and people wounder why there is so many guests and so few members here now that post. Maybe I am coming off hard but it is true. Then you get the PM's from people telling you that you can't say this and you can't say that. BULL, nobody tells me what I can say or not say. If you don't like it, don't read it. Everyone has a right to express there opinions, good and bad. I don't like people bashing China because I love China and I will tell you so. If people want to bash China they do have a right to say there peace but they need to expect people to defend China in return.

Maybe I went a little bit but I said my peace.

 

Later

Edited July 26, 2008 by Li & John (see edit history)

[rogerluli]

I've never read anything here that I thought was "China bashing"...People do come here to express criticisms and point out China's flaws...And that is one of the reasons we are here and that is the way it is going to stay...

Edited July 26, 2008 by rogerluli (see edit history)