Having Children after 50 ?

[yemmie]

I'm on the fence about this. I am 51, have never had any children, so I kind of think I am really too old to have any children now. On the other hand, it would be her child, our child, so sometimes I think I want to do it. My girl is almost 45, and has a 19 year old son who will be coming with her to America. I have talked to her about, but I can't get a clear feel for what SHE really wants to do. Sometimes she sounds like she wants to have another, sometimes not. Often it sounds like she is trying to figure out what I really want so she can say that is what she wants too. And she has big plans for her an her son when they come here, plans that will be expensive and will keep her very busy. So, on balance, I'm leaning toward not having any more. I just wish I could really know what SHE really wants. Long about now, I'll bet she is thinking the same thing about me. What does HE really want to do?

[jim_julian]

Yemmie ... what I'd weigh, in your shoes, is how I feel about retirement in 10-15 years and spending time with my wife versus the joy of having a child together. Your age is still OK, you'd be about 70 when little yem jr graduates from high school. With today's medical care and if you take care of yourself you should still be goin' strong at 70.

[Li & John]

I was cut about 12 years ago. If I have it reversed, what are my chances of fathering another child? What would it cost to have it reversed?

 

Thanks

[ameriken]

I was cut about 12 years ago. If I have it reversed, what are my chances of fathering another child? What would it cost to have it reversed?

 

Thanks

Here's the webpage of a specialist I saw last year in Colorado, this answers a lot of questions.

 

I saw another doctor too, and between the 2 the price will range between $7,000 and $10,000, including everything (anesthesia, followups, etc).

 

As for the odds, I think less than 10 years is really good, but once you pass 10 the odds start decreasing. I think at 20 years since my vas, I am at something like a 35% chance of success after a reversal.

 

Here's the site with a lot of Q's and A's.

 

http://coloradourologists.com/vasectomy_re...versal_faqs.htm

[Guest Rob & Jin]

just rememember that for woman over 40 the risks of miscarriage or having a baby with CP is increased.

Edited April 19, 2008 by Rob & Jin (see edit history)

[Li & John]

I was cut about 12 years ago. If I have it reversed, what are my chances of fathering another child? What would it cost to have it reversed?

 

Thanks

Here's the webpage of a specialist I saw last year in Colorado, this answers a lot of questions.

 

I saw another doctor too, and between the 2 the price will range between $7,000 and $10,000, including everything (anesthesia, followups, etc).

 

As for the odds, I think less than 10 years is really good, but once you pass 10 the odds start decreasing. I think at 20 years since my vas, I am at something like a 35% chance of success after a reversal.

 

Here's the site with a lot of Q's and A's.

 

http://coloradourologists.com/vasectomy_re...versal_faqs.htm

 

Thanks for the information on the reversal procedure. Will Insurance Companies cover the cost or most of the cost of it?

 

Thanks

[DMikeS4321]

Interesting post credzba! When I met my wife we discussed having a child and we are both in agreement that this is what we want. I am in the over 50s crowd so there were many thoughts that went through my head

My latter years have produced more patience for me so that won't be a problem.

The main thing my wife is worried about is that her biological clock is ticking and she wants to make certain that my health will be good for many years to come. We had a chance at 2 babies already but apparently is wasn't meant to be as she lost them both.

We will keep trying and accept whatever hand we are dealt.

I think that becoming a parent after 50 is a good thing. The child will definitely have the benefit of our many years of experiences in life. JMHO.

Good luck!

 

Good post, Charles. My wife and I have had much the same thoughts and experiences. We lost one six weeks after we married. She was crushed, as was I. To make it worse, I couldn't be there with her.

 

I've had two unsuccessful marriages with kids. I've had custody of all three of my children, but I've never experienced the joy of raising a baby as part of a complete family. I'm 50+ also and Lao Po is 38, so we have time. We both want it and we're both going to continue to try.

 

My older kids (girls, 18 and 21) think I'm a nut for even considering it, but my 13 year old son is very excited and really WANTS a younger brother or sister. I want another as I just can't imagine NOT sharing the experience with the woman who is the love of my life.

 

It's all good if it's God's will, eh?

[DMikeS4321]

just rememember that for woman over 40 the risks of miscarriage or having a baby with CP is increased.

 

I researched this pretty thoroughly a couple of years ago and it seems that the upper age limit in women before significant increase in birth defects/problems is higher in Asia in general and China in particular than it is in the U.S. I don't remember why, but it's got something to do with environmental factors with some genetic differences as well.

 

You've got me thinking about this now, so I'll try to find the information I dug up last time I looked into this.

[Shenzhen K-1]

Interesting post credzba! When I met my wife we discussed having a child and we are both in agreement that this is what we want. I am in the over 50s crowd so there were many thoughts that went through my head

My latter years have produced more patience for me so that won't be a problem.

The main thing my wife is worried about is that her biological clock is ticking and she wants to make certain that my health will be good for many years to come. We had a chance at 2 babies already but apparently is wasn't meant to be as she lost them both.

We will keep trying and accept whatever hand we are dealt.

I think that becoming a parent after 50 is a good thing. The child will definitely have the benefit of our many years of experiences in life. JMHO.

Good luck!

 

Good post, Charles. My wife and I have had much the same thoughts and experiences. We lost one six weeks after we married. She was crushed, as was I. To make it worse, I couldn't be there with her.

 

I've had two unsuccessful marriages with kids. I've had custody of all three of my children, but I've never experienced the joy of raising a baby as part of a complete family. I'm 50+ also and Lao Po is 38, so we have time. We both want it and we're both going to continue to try.

 

My older kids (girls, 18 and 21) think I'm a nut for even considering it, but my 13 year old son is very excited and really WANTS a younger brother or sister. I want another as I just can't imagine NOT sharing the experience with the woman who is the love of my life.

 

It's all good if it's God's will, eh?

 

I wanted to avoid this topic, but can not............

 

My feng enjoyed my nephew's son way too much upon coming here, my sister noticed and said watch out for her!!!

 

I have my 11 and 12 year old sons, who will both soon be 1 more year older, New daughter is 16 and a delight, 2 older kids in there 20's still getting used to the Mrs. and then my step children who I still claim as mine.........

 

Need to get her to work or boredom may take over soon??

 

Mike and Charles, good luck. I know this much, a lot better father this time around, spend more time with my boys, sports, school, church etc. Not going to miss much this time around!

[JamesnYuHong]

just rememember that for woman over 40 the risks of miscarriage or having a baby with CP is increased.

 

I researched this pretty thoroughly a couple of years ago and it seems that the upper age limit in women before significant increase in birth defects/problems is higher in Asia in general and China in particular than it is in the U.S. I don't remember why, but it's got something to do with environmental factors with some genetic differences as well.

 

You've got me thinking about this now, so I'll try to find the information I dug up last time I looked into this.

 

Interesting to note that census data shows that Chinese-American women have the highest average age of childbearing in the U.S. Probably because so many come here to do PhDs.

[Jay & Ping]

just rememember that for woman over 40 the risks of miscarriage or having a baby with CP is increased.

 

I researched this pretty thoroughly a couple of years ago and it seems that the upper age limit in women before significant increase in birth defects/problems is higher in Asia in general and China in particular than it is in the U.S. I don't remember why, but it's got something to do with environmental factors with some genetic differences as well.

 

You've got me thinking about this now, so I'll try to find the information I dug up last time I looked into this.

 

Interesting to note that census data shows that Chinese-American women have the highest average age of childbearing in the U.S. Probably because so many come here to do PhDs.

More likely it's that the paperwork takes so D**n long!

[NewDay2006]

I did the "snip snip" just before Christmas past.

 

My wife and I had discussed it beforehand. She really didn't want me too, she said we would have a pretty girl together.

 

But ultimately, she agreed. That time had passed in our lives.

 

My wife already has a 16 year old son, so I didn't feel I was "cheating" her out of anything, that is the woman's natural urge to reproduce and be a mother. I'm still paying child support for the next 7 years. Taking care of a baby at $1000 a month child care was not in the plans.

 

It would have been nice, but being 50+ was not an ideal situation for me and my wife to have a baby.

 

Saving for retirement and all the time that needs to be committed to a baby has past in my opinion.

 

Our 2 year old grandaughter calls her Grammy... my says, she is auntee

 

What works for some doesn't work for others, so it is a personal choice in one's life. IMO

[JamesnYuHong]

I'm 31 and have twins on the way. I can say that I'm glad when I turn 50, they'll legally be adults and not ... newborns!

That said, if someone is 50 and wants to have kids, more power to him. But I do hope he's already gotten a good start on retirement savings.

[Shenzhen K-1]

That said, if someone is 50 and wants to have kids, more power to him. But I do hope he's already gotten a good start on retirement savings.

 

They could also be counting on kids for help or living in China, or living from city to city after a wonderful working life??

[JamesnYuHong]

That said, if someone is 50 and wants to have kids, more power to him. But I do hope he's already gotten a good start on retirement savings.

 

They could also be counting on kids for help or living in China, or living from city to city after a wonderful working life??

 

I personally am planning on living in China in retirement, assuming at that time its still cheaper than the U.S. But still, I know that raising three kids (twins plus my wife's daughter) and helping them with college is going to make saving anything at all a challenge.