Babies in China

[wolf]

finenn, I can only say that I have seen my fiancee's book that shows she has been cut and weh I was there last year in May, I went with her to the hospital for her yearly exam. All she needed to do was show the book and the doctor let her go. But I can easly see where the cut was.

She has two daughters age 6 and maybe that makes a difference in GuangDong Provence.

I made a mistake in the earlier post about a children born in a foreign country to an American citizen. I said he wouldn't be a citizen. What I meant was that it would not be automatic. The citizen parent or child would need to apply for citizenship. It would not be like being born in the US were the child is automatic citizen. Sorry if I confused anyone.

[Guest jimb]

What my fiamcee told me about being sterilized. After the birth of her second daughter. She was not married to the father of the child, although they had a marriage ceromony, but did not register the marriage. The only way the Chinese Govt would register the birth, was if they both agreed to be sterilized, or pay a hugh fine. her boyfriend declined and threw her out. An unregistered child is at a large disatvantage in the Chinese social system, cannot get a free education or participate in many social programs, or get a passport.

 

her daughter is 4 now and has never seen her father, she thinks I am her father, and calls me daddy. Since we won't even consider leaving her behind, we will have to pay the fine, to get her passport. Although, I would love to move to China, it is not an option for me. I have told my fiancee that I love the child so much that I will pay the fine, even if she decides not to marry me. She is such a darling girl, and very smart.

 

Oh well, I will find out the amount of the fine later this week. I hope I don't have a heart attack when I find out what it is.

jimb

[Guest R2D2]

In our links and resource section, Don has a piece about the process. Seems you can register the unborn child with the consulate and this will suffice as to the legalities. I would ask DonH more about this and where he got the information.  

I did?

donahso Posted: Jul 28 2003, 09:04 PM

 

 

 

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QUOTE (MarkLuvsShuPing @ Jul 28 2003, 12:09 PM)

Following the what if's here... If your Chinese girl had your child while you were somewhere in the process of getting her to the U.S. (presumably working on it longer than 9 months), would that help speed up the process? In other words, would having a child with a Chinese citizen help demonstrate that you are sincere about the marriage and not just arranging a temporary thing?

 

This is only my second post and I'm just starting this process, so forgive me if I'm ignorant about some things.

 

China would indeed consider them a citizen. Your child would also be considered an American citizen - you need to record the birth at a US consulate to get a Certificate of Birth. With that, you can get a US passport for your child.

 

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Chinese proverb: The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.

[Jiefly]

Hey Dave,

 

As a girl, I'd like to suggest you to come to China soon and marry her legally. You guys can start to apply for K3/CR1 visa like Owen said.

I know it would be hard for a girl here being pregnant but not marry. It feels different. I said this because I had the same experience and I know what our girls feel when we are pregnant. The fact of mine is that we decided to do the abortion. The baby has gone now. But in my heart I didn't like to see this. No matter how modern the Chinese girls look like today, we still keep the tradional thoughts that we should give the birth to a baby after being married. Me and my GG did this decision because we have our special situation and we haven't start to apply for any K visa yet, and we have our jobs. But to you guys, you are already on the road. So that why don't get married?! Baby is the gift from the God. Don't give up!

 

Good luck, Dave and your lady!

 

Maggie

[Dave G.]

Hey Dave,

 

As a girl, I'd like to suggest you to come to China soon and marry her legally. You guys can start to apply for K3/CR1 visa like Owen said.

I know it would be hard for a girl here being pregnant but not marry. It feels different. I said this because I had the same experience and I know what our girls feel when we are pregnant. The fact of mine is that we decided to do the abortion. The baby has gone now. But in my heart I didn't like to see this. No matter how modern the Chinese girls look like today, we still keep the tradional thoughts that we should give the birth to a baby after being married. Me and my GG did this decision because we have our special situation and we haven't start to apply for any K visa yet, and we have our jobs. But to you guys, you are already on the road. So that why don't get married?! Baby is the gift from the God. Don't give up!

 

Good luck, Dave and your lady!

 

Maggie

Maggie,

 

I saw your posting earlier this morning. It was too early and my mind wasn't clear yet so I waited. I went back to sleep and had a horrible dream. I still see the image my mind. I think your words stirred something up in me.

 

I'm so sorry to hear your story. It broke my heart. That's the very heartache I want to avoid.

 

When I was in China last month, it was very relaxing with not always a lot to do. Jing Mei would ask, "what do you want to do today?" My answer was always, "let's get married." Maggie, if I could, I would in the blink of an eye. But, I figure at this point by the time I got all the permissions needed by the Chinese gov, our K-1 should just about be done. Believe me when I say that as soon as she gets here, we'll tie the know. I know my family would prefer us being married before the baby is born too.

 

I'm not too worried about her being an outcast. She has a supportive family who is excited about the baby and she has a huge ring on her finger. No one will think she's not married. And, heaven help the person who says anything negative to her. When I've been with her, some people have whispered things to her. I don't know what they said to her, but she blasted them. Jing Mei can take care of herself.

 

On a different note, can you help me (us) understand more about forced sterialization in China? I'd like to hear more about it from someone who knows firsthand what women in China have to go through.

 

God bless. I have faith that everything will work out just fine. I hope you too will get through it all well and start the family you clearly want.

 

Dave

[Jiefly]

Hey Dave,

 

You are so kind! I have all best wishes to you and Jing Mei.

 

About forced steriliaztion, sorry that I don't know much, as I'm still a single girl. The government staffs never bother me about this...heehee...

But I know that as our government only allow one family has one child, they would require to put a "ring" into mother's body right after she gives the birth to a baby in the hospital, to prevent her being pregnant again. But you can go to the hospital to take the "ring" off if you want.

Well, sorry that I don't know much about this and I'm not sue what they currently do to the mothers. And I'm also wondering if you can refuse them to put that thing into your body or not now.

 

I suggest those ladies that already has a child to clarify all this to you guys.

 

Maggie

[Dave G.]

Hey Dave,

 

You are so kind! I have all best wishes to you and Jing Mei. B)

 

About forced steriliaztion, sorry that I don't know much, as I'm still a single girl. The government staffs never bother me about this...heehee... [snip]

Maggie,

 

I just saw Jing Mei on our web cams. She's a beautiful expecting mother. And sexy too (I know...hui lao gong). I told her that GZ said our baby will probaby be US citizen but I have a lot of work to do. I think that will end our talk about saying goodbye to this baby.

 

I know that Jing Mei had the ring inside of her. She took it out when we became engaged. There was no problem with that for her.

 

You are obviously a very sweet and kind woman. I wish the very best for you and yours. I am sure you will also make a perfect mom someday. Maybe things will work our for you with your visa and you'll have a monkey next year too.

 

Good luck!

 

Dave

[Guest jimb]

What my fiamcee told me about being sterilized. After the birth of her second daughter.  She was not married to the father of the child, although they had a marriage ceromony, but did not register the marriage.  The only way the Chinese Govt would register the birth, was if they both agreed to be sterilized, or pay a hugh fine.  her boyfriend declined and threw her out.   An unregistered child is at a large disatvantage in the Chinese social system, cannot get a free education or participate in many social programs, or get a passport.

 

  her daughter is 4 now and has never seen her father, she thinks I am her father, and calls me daddy.   Since we won't even consider leaving her behind, we will have to pay the fine, to get her passport.  Although, I would love to move to China,  it is not an option for me.   I have told my fiancee that I love the child so much that I will pay the fine, even if she decides not to marry me.   She is such a darling girl,  and very smart.

 

  Oh well,  I will find out the amount of the fine later this week.  I hope I don't have a heart attack when I find out what it is.

jimb

I just thought I would post the latest news I have from my sweetheart about getting a birth certificate for her daughter. ( seems they even bargin with the government officials) This is a paragraph from her email tonight.

 

"The government birth control office said I had to pay 50,000 yuan Chinese money. I told them I had no so much money. And then they asked me for 30,000 yuan. I still told them I had no so much money and then i wanted to leave. One of their head told me to wait for a while and said they will discuss and then let me know about the exact number. I was told that they have to give the government most part of the money but all of them will share some of the money. If I don't give them the money, they will not have any penny to put into their pocket. I will wait for a fair number of the money. I will try to give the least money for Cindy's birth certificate."

 

Of course, we will pay what ever the ransom is, but less is better. I hope no one from that government board is reading this!

 

jimb

[Guest jade_yan]

be very careful. it sounds like a hold up to me.

[Dave G.]

Jimb...

 

Is there a way for you to not be in the direct loop? When they see you are American, everything is always more expensive. My experience is that Chinese treat Chinese more fairly. My fiancee explodes when people try to rip me off.

 

Good luck! What a nightmare for you.

 

Dave

[owenkrout]

Yeah, it is a ripoff, but it is just part of everyday life in most of the developing world, including China. We had similar bargaining sessions all along the way for papers that my wife and her daughter needed. If they know you need it for immigration to the US then they will jack up the price. In Liaoning, it was usually thinly disguised as "administrative fees" or some other such wording.

[Guest jade_yan]

no...no..no...i wasnt implying that the Chinese authorities was the only party attempting to rip him off!!!!!!!

[Guest jimb]

I have done some research on this and the fee can be much higher. My fiancee did not put me in the loop. She is very frugal when spending "our" money. The reason she gave for wanting the birth certificate was so that her daughter could go to school. Unregistered children have little chance for schooling, except private schools, which are expensive.

 

jimb

[Guest jimb]

no...no..no...i wasnt implying that the Chinese authorities was the only party attempting to rip him off!!!!!!!

My fiancee doesn't have to rip me off. she knows I will give her whatever she asks for. She has access to an acount I set up for her. She seldom uses it, and gives me an accounting of every dollar spent, although I have told her that it is not necessary. I do trust her, I wouldn't be planning to marry her otherwise.

 

jimb

[Guest jade_yan]

I am from China. I have seen this many times. They all trusted. I wish you luck.