How to help her understand the visa process

[Dave&Hong]

Hong and I have been emailing each other for some time now and I have plans to meet her in June. She is a very special woman to me and my feelings for her grow stronger every day. The issue of marriage has come up and provided there are no surprises once I meet her I intend to propose to her before I return to the USA. She has spoken to Chinese "Officials" and friends who have told her that it is best if we marry in China and that she will be able to return with me to the US when I return. I have explained that the process is a bit more complicated than that and have sent her various cut and paste articles and links so that she could learn more about the process (her english is good enough that she can understand or translate most of what she reads).

 

How can I get her to understand that our fastest way to get her to the US so we can be together is by way of the K-1 visa and that by marrying in China we will be delaying beginning our life together?

[dnoblett]

Marriage and return to USA is NOT an option, you need to file for a proper immigrations visa which can take a long time.

 

If marriage in China is the priority, then marry there, and then file for the visa once you return to the USA, either (CR-1 or K-3) visa, CR-1 takes a bit longer to get, but has the benefit of employment authorization, and no adjustment of status needed, CR-1 is a green-card visa.

 

K-3 is not work authorized, so has to wait 90 days or more after filing for EAD and/or Adjustment of Status, and wait for the EAD card or Green-card before being able to get SSN, JOB, Drivers license, etc... AOS costs $1010 to file.

 

If speed is the issue then consider filing for a K-1 visa after visiting her and proposing, K-1 is quick, but still has the added cost of adjustment of status. K-1 is for bringing a fiancee to the USA to marry.

 

Use the CFL timeline chart here:

 

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=19303

 

Point her to the sister immigrations board to this:

 

http://usa.bbs.net/bbs/01/index.html (Here the immigrations process is well explained in Chinese.)

[jim_julian]

If her English is very good she could read reference material but that is not practical for most and if it were for her you'd probably not be asking the question.

 

You're probably aware of the "Believe Chinese Women" syndrome where if she is told something by another Chinese lady she is quite likely, at least in the beginning, to believe it over anything you or anyone else tells her.

 

One thing you could do is to have another Chinese lady who has been through the process speak to her and answer questions. It is best if the lady she talks to is from the same city or at least province.

 

You might want to post where Hong is from and see if anyone will volunteer to speak with her. Most of us have means to call China at very little cost so that should not be an issue.

 

There can be all sorts of reasons she wants to get married in China ... things like commitment and having her family involved. I'm an advocate of K-1 for many folks. You can always have a "wedding" banquet in China where all of the family and friends see you make a public commitment to your marriage. Even though, if you're a K-1, you don't actually get married (red book process) to the family it's the same thing, at least that was our experience.

 

If you're really going to live together in the US I also think it's better to have the actual marriage in the US, although I don't have facts to back that up, it just seems easier from a documentation viewpoint.

 

Have fun on that first trip!

[credzba]

I don't know how to help you explaining to her, but I would argue K1 is not the fastest .. per se.

 

K1 calendar wise is the fastest, probably about 9 months to 1 year at this point.

 

K3 and IR/1 are about the same time with K3 being maybe 1 or 2 months faster. My IR/1 will end up at just over one year (I hope).

 

I would caution you that focus on the visa time is a mistake.

Decide what is most important for your relationship, and focus on making your woman happy.

The difference between k1, and IR/1 is measured in a small number of months. Your relationship is (hopefully) measured as a lifetime.

 

Too many people focus so much on the visa, that when they finally achieve that goal they have a difficult time because they had only focused on the visa for so long.

 

 

Best wishes.

[Guest Rob & Jin]

Welcome to CFL David & Hong.

 

Jim's idea seems very reasonable (as usual)

[Shenzhen K-1]

Hong and I have been emailing each other for some time now and I have plans to meet her in June. She is a very special woman to me and my feelings for her grow stronger every day. The issue of marriage has come up and provided there are no surprises once I meet her I intend to propose to her before I return to the USA. She has spoken to Chinese "Officials" and friends who have told her that it is best if we marry in China and that she will be able to return with me to the US when I return. I have explained that the process is a bit more complicated than that and have sent her various cut and paste articles and links so that she could learn more about the process (her english is good enough that she can understand or translate most of what she reads).

 

How can I get her to understand that our fastest way to get her to the US so we can be together is by way of the K-1 visa and that by marrying in China we will be delaying beginning our life together?

 

Welcome to the CFL group, and good luck!!

 

The K-1 is time/months faster, but other visas do have certain advantages such as when entering the USA etc. If I could do it over again we might have gotten married first, but that might be me talking after getting the list of things my feng wants to do at our wedding here!!

[Clement & Emily]

Hong and I have been emailing each other for some time now and I have plans to meet her in June. She is a very special woman to me and my feelings for her grow stronger every day. The issue of marriage has come up and provided there are no surprises once I meet her I intend to propose to her before I return to the USA. She has spoken to Chinese "Officials" and friends who have told her that it is best if we marry in China and that she will be able to return with me to the US when I return. I have explained that the process is a bit more complicated than that and have sent her various cut and paste articles and links so that she could learn more about the process (her english is good enough that she can understand or translate most of what she reads).

 

How can I get her to understand that our fastest way to get her to the US so we can be together is by way of the K-1 visa and that by marrying in China we will be delaying beginning our life together?

 

Hello Dave,

 

My wife Emily is from Chongqing China. She and I speak fluent Mandarin and Cantonese. We are more than happy and willing to layout the process for Hong...the charge is ZERO. We can even conference call-in with Gino and Lulu (CFL members), also fluent in Mandarin.

 

Clement & Emily

[Guest hi5pro]

Hong and I have been emailing each other for some time now and I have plans to meet her in June. She is a very special woman to me and my feelings for her grow stronger every day. The issue of marriage has come up and provided there are no surprises once I meet her I intend to propose to her before I return to the USA. She has spoken to Chinese "Officials" and friends who have told her that it is best if we marry in China and that she will be able to return with me to the US when I return. I have explained that the process is a bit more complicated than that and have sent her various cut and paste articles and links so that she could learn more about the process (her english is good enough that she can understand or translate most of what she reads).

 

How can I get her to understand that our fastest way to get her to the US so we can be together is by way of the K-1 visa and that by marrying in China we will be delaying beginning our life together?

 

Hello Dave,

 

My wife Emily is from Chongqing China. She and I speak fluent Mandarin and Cantonese. We are more than happy and willing to layout the process for Hong...the charge is ZERO. We can even conference call-in with Gino and Lulu (CFL members), also fluent in Mandarin.

 

Clement & Emily

Did someone call Gino?? . Yes, Dave. You can have her to email either Clement or me. We'll help you to explain it . Welcome to CFL. Good luck.

 

Best wishes,

 

Gino & Lulu

[Dave&Hong]

WOW! Thanks for the replys everyone! I had suggested the wedding banquet idea without the legal marriage in China as a possibility. It may be the language barrier or the fact that I called it an engagement ceremony but she didn't seem to get it.

 

Jim, thanks for the advice. I do seem to be in the "girlfriend" void as far as this issues goes.

 

credzba, You advice is very helpful and You are probably right.

 

Clement and Gino, thank you for your very generous offer. Its not a pressing issue yet because June is a long way away, but if it does become so I'll be sure to give one of you a pm.

 

Hong is from Kaifeng, Henan and I have to say i have never had the pleasure of having such honest communication with a woman before. I don't know if it is a cultural difference or just the fact that the long distance relationship makes honest communication safer but it has been a pleasure getting to know her. Her being beautiful doesn't hurt either!

 

Anyway thanks for all the help, more than anything it helps just knowing that there are others out there who have been down this road before me and are willing to offer help and advice!

 

Dave

[ChrisA]

Dave & Hong,

 

Weclome to CFL

 

You didn't say how long your visit will be, but I'm assuming at least two weeks and I hope it is longer like three weeks. You can expect a Family Dinner usually around the two week mark, coun;d be sooner based on how long your visit is? I base this on my first visit expeirence, it's at this dinner that your will be accepted into the family, expect to be questioned by the family as they will decide her's and your's future relationship. Just remember Family is everything in China.

 

As for the Engagement Ceremony, expect to spend at least two days in search of a suitable restaurant, menu price and dinning room accommodations etc. Trust her judgment on this and depending on the size of the family the bill should be around $200 for the entire event and up to 26 people attending. Just remember this a drop in the bucket compared to what you would have to spend here to have such an event held.

 

Some other things to consider, Wedding Ceremony pictures, tradational in China, about a half day spend doing this. As for the Engagement Ring for her, in China it's not one ring as it is here but two rings, one for you and one for her.

 

But above all else, enjoy your trip and Hong, I'm sure it will be unforgettable.

 

Good Luck