Blogs from a Chinese woman...

[Dennis143]

A snipet from a 34 yo Chinese woman's blog. She's a married K1 living in Oregon. With her permission, I am posting her blogs here. Maybe it will give a bit of insight into a Chinese woman's thoughts...maybe not...maybe, it will simply entertain...maybe not. She formerly made post here at the Candle... B)

 

man&his woman---honor&disgrace together?

When I worked for book department in a store, I sometimes saw a white man and his Japanese wife come to shop. When they came into our store, the man walked behind the wife by keeping some distance and watching around with caution. He seemed to worry about onlookers' attitude to them. When the wife asked me whether we had books about birds, I already could tell from her accent that her nationality was Japanese. She asked me my nationality and I told her I was a Chinese. We had a short friendly chat and I helped move a chair for her to stand on it when she could not reach the books on the shelves because she was only about 140cm tall. When the white husband heard his wife was treated with respect, he showed up from behind the closest shelf with some worrying expression just relieved but you could still see he was not spontaneous. I wondered if he was not comfortable to show up with his lady before public why he chose her? He looked a little ashamed of being with her. I wonder if he was not with this small asian lady but with somebody who could make him proud of according to the social criteria, whether he would still keep distance when walking with her to show that they seemed not related with each other.

 

A man and his woman, when they choose each other, they should know from then on they will be together honor or disgrace---ÈÙÈèÓë¹². They will face everything together, not that when something happens, one pushes the other out, instead of protecting and supporting each other. I often see when a man is very confident with a different race woman, people hardly feel uncomfortable with them, but treat them with respect spontaneously. If I notice a man keeps distance with me when showing before public, I am not going to give him more than three times chance to feel "ashamed" of being with me. The man that shows confident and strong before public with his woman is the one admired because he shows he is the master of his life and he lives for his own happiness, taste and desire.

 

Expect to see more...

[Smitty]

Why not invite her to post here?

[Dennis143]

Why not invite her to post here?

She has posted in the past. Someone angered her and she's chosen not to return.

[Smitty]

Oh, well that's that then.

[jim_julian]

She writes well and with great insight. Thanks for posting.

[ameriken]

He looked a little ashamed of being with her. I wonder if he was not with this small asian lady but with somebody who could make him proud of according to the social criteria, whether he would still keep distance when walking with her to show that they seemed not related with each other.

 

The man that shows confident and strong before public with his woman is the one admired because he shows he is the master of his life and he lives for his own happiness, taste and desire.[/i]

What is that saying......something like 'that which I feared has come upon me?'

 

The fear or shame will actually attract the negative attention he is trying to avoid. But as she points out......a man who is confident and proud of his wife and not afraid to show it will draw respect.

[Shenzhen K-1]

A snipet from a 34 yo Chinese woman's blog. She's a married K1 living in Oregon. With her permission, I am posting her blogs here. Maybe it will give a bit of insight into a Chinese woman's thoughts...maybe not...maybe, it will simply entertain...maybe not. She formerly made post here at the Candle...

 

man&his woman---honor&disgrace together?

When I worked for book department in a store, I sometimes saw a white man and his Japanese wife come to shop. When they came into our store, the man walked behind the wife by keeping some distance and watching around with caution. He seemed to worry about onlookers' attitude to them. When the wife asked me whether we had books about birds, I already could tell from her accent that her nationality was Japanese. She asked me my nationality and I told her I was a Chinese. We had a short friendly chat and I helped move a chair for her to stand on it when she could not reach the books on the shelves because she was only about 140cm tall. When the white husband heard his wife was treated with respect, he showed up from behind the closest shelf with some worrying expression just relieved but you could still see he was not spontaneous. I wondered if he was not comfortable to show up with his lady before public why he chose her? He looked a little ashamed of being with her. I wonder if he was not with this small asian lady but with somebody who could make him proud of according to the social criteria, whether he would still keep distance when walking with her to show that they seemed not related with each other.

 

A man and his woman, when they choose each other, they should know from then on they will be together honor or disgrace---ÈÙÈèÓë¹². They will face everything together, not that when something happens, one pushes the other out, instead of protecting and supporting each other. I often see when a man is very confident with a different race woman, people hardly feel uncomfortable with them, but treat them with respect spontaneously. If I notice a man keeps distance with me when showing before public, I am not going to give him more than three times chance to feel "ashamed" of being with me. The man that shows confident and strong before public with his woman is the one admired because he shows he is the master of his life and he lives for his own happiness, taste and desire.

 

Expect to see more...

 

That is one great story and wonderful writing!! My Mrs. made a comment to me the very first time we went to the park together in Shenzhen!! You hold my hand and walk very close to me?? I told her I came here for you and I am just so happy to be with you that is making me crazy!!

(No she did not get the crazy part!)

[Dennis143]

1/18/2008

Birds of a feather flock together?---to a homemaker's experience

Generally people socialize with those with whom they have common interest, ethics, or similar situation. Like me, I am not interest in moms' talk. Each time, when a mom excitedly told me things about their little kids, I responed for politeness, not for I was interested. Fortunately, my good friends most don't talk about kids' stuff with me or they don't have kids at all. I guess with others who also have kids they should feel more interesting to talk with, as for kids' topic. I am also not interested in the topic of how to take away a husband's property. So women who ever told me to ask my husband to add my name under our house property etc don't have interest in talking with me much, in their thought, I might be less smart or less thoughtful. I am not interested in socializing with women who easily called police suing their husbands did domestic violence to them, except the I could know that husbands were really bad.

 

I am interested in talking with women who have knowledge, who like to take care of their family, particularly Chinese women who are married to a white man. Once a woman asked a question on the forum I often attended, " Do American men ask their wives to shave their private part?" Only one woman who married to an American gave the answer that her husband did, no other women who married to Americans gave their answer. And a 25-year-old woman who married to a Chinese man responded " Yes, western men all do." ---Hehe, a rather judgemetal answer. We Chinese women who married to Americans never have this kind of curiosity in each other. And we don't have much interest in satisfying others' curiosity sometimes, although it is nothing wrong for the curiosity. And there are some other curiosities too, here omit. It is good to exchange cooking tips with a woman who has a white partner. Chinese and Americans, they generally don't eat the same food. Food welcomed by a Chinese husband might be ugly to a white husband. I had several times that I cooked delicious Chinese food for my white husband, while he didn't like it at all. It is a pity if the two of a marriage can not enjoy food together. So it is very important to think and research how to make good food that both enjoy. Each time, when I exchanged with girlfriends the food idea we made which was enjoyed by our husbands, we were excited, like just exploring a new land.

 

And yes, when I was a work-woman, I was interested in talking with a work-woman more, or a woman who had working experience and who could gave me some inspiration about things related to work. And When I was studying at school, I was more interested in talking with people who were studying or who had similar study experience because I could learn from them.

 

Here talking much about socializing with women, because in my life, unfortunately, I had very few male friends, although I have a few bosom online friends who are male and I trust them but I have never met them in real.

[warpedbored]

Too bad someone pissed her off. We could use more Chinese women's insight. Tell her she is needed to educate us Dennis. Hell if she wants to she can start her own blog here.

[Shenzhen K-1]

1/18/2008

Birds of a feather flock together?---to a homemaker's experience

Generally people socialize with those with whom they have common interest, ethics, or similar situation. Like me, I am not interest in moms' talk. Each time, when a mom excitedly told me things about their little kids, I responed for politeness, not for I was interested. Fortunately, my good friends most don't talk about kids' stuff with me or they don't have kids at all. I guess with others who also have kids they should feel more interesting to talk with, as for kids' topic. I am also not interested in the topic of how to take away a husband's property. So women who ever told me to ask my husband to add my name under our house property etc don't have interest in talking with me much, in their thought, I might be less smart or less thoughtful. I am not interested in socializing with women who easily called police suing their husbands did domestic violence to them, except the I could know that husbands were really bad.

 

I am interested in talking with women who have knowledge, who like to take care of their family, particularly Chinese women who are married to a white man. Once a woman asked a question on the forum I often attended, " Do American men ask their wives to shave their private part?" Only one woman who married to an American gave the answer that her husband did, no other women who married to Americans gave their answer. And a 25-year-old woman who married to a Chinese man responded " Yes, western men all do." ---Hehe, a rather judgemetal answer. We Chinese women who married to Americans never have this kind of curiosity in each other. And we don't have much interest in satisfying others' curiosity sometimes, although it is nothing wrong for the curiosity. And there are some other curiosities too, here omit. It is good to exchange cooking tips with a woman who has a white partner. Chinese and Americans, they generally don't eat the same food. Food welcomed by a Chinese husband might be ugly to a white husband. I had several times that I cooked delicious Chinese food for my white husband, while he didn't like it at all. It is a pity if the two of a marriage can not enjoy food together. So it is very important to think and research how to make good food that both enjoy. Each time, when I exchanged with girlfriends the food idea we made which was enjoyed by our husbands, we were excited, like just exploring a new land.

 

And yes, when I was a work-woman, I was interested in talking with a work-woman more, or a woman who had working experience and who could gave me some inspiration about things related to work. And When I was studying at school, I was more interested in talking with people who were studying or who had similar study experience because I could learn from them.

 

Here talking much about socializing with women, because in my life, unfortunately, I had very few male friends, although I have a few bosom online friends who are male and I trust them but I have never met them in real.

 

Shave the love canal??

 

The food part, have thought about that a lot and am going to try and enjoy all that she will cook, rude if you do not. She has also went to a book store and got a cookbook on western foods!! Now the sons ages (11 & 12) have asked many questions about food and are very curious to say the least! The 11 year old wants to know, does she know how to cook pizza and hot dogs??

 

Dennis, keep these blogs coming they are quite the read!!

[carl.hops]

Good stuff, can we have the link to her blog? I'm sure my SO would love to read her blog since shes moving to oregon ;-)

[Shenzhen K-1]

Why not invite her to post here?

She has posted in the past. Someone angered her and she's chosen not to return.

 

You mean we have members that are not very nice to a fellow member??

That is hard to believe here on CFL!!

[jasal]

A snipet from a 34 yo Chinese woman's blog. She's a married K1 living in Oregon. With her permission, I am posting her blogs here. Maybe it will give a bit of insight into a Chinese woman's thoughts...maybe not...maybe, it will simply entertain...maybe not. She formerly made post here at the Candle...

 

man&his woman---honor&disgrace together?

When I worked for book department in a store, I sometimes saw a white man and his Japanese wife come to shop. When they came into our store, the man walked behind the wife by keeping some distance and watching around with caution. He seemed to worry about onlookers' attitude to them. When the wife asked me whether we had books about birds, I already could tell from her accent that her nationality was Japanese. She asked me my nationality and I told her I was a Chinese. We had a short friendly chat and I helped move a chair for her to stand on it when she could not reach the books on the shelves because she was only about 140cm tall. When the white husband heard his wife was treated with respect, he showed up from behind the closest shelf with some worrying expression just relieved but you could still see he was not spontaneous. I wondered if he was not comfortable to show up with his lady before public why he chose her? He looked a little ashamed of being with her. I wonder if he was not with this small asian lady but with somebody who could make him proud of according to the social criteria, whether he would still keep distance when walking with her to show that they seemed not related with each other.

 

A man and his woman, when they choose each other, they should know from then on they will be together honor or disgrace---荣辱与共. They will face everything together, not that when something happens, one pushes the other out, instead of protecting and supporting each other. I often see when a man is very confident with a different race woman, people hardly feel uncomfortable with them, but treat them with respect spontaneously. If I notice a man keeps distance with me when showing before public, I am not going to give him more than three times chance to feel "ashamed" of being with me. The man that shows confident and strong before public with his woman is the one admired because he shows he is the master of his life and he lives for his own happiness, taste and desire.

 

Expect to see more...

Seems to me that she made an observation based on her own thoughts and opinions and not backed up by credible evidence that the husband was indeed ashamed to be seen with his wife. Making assumptions without facts is just as damaging as gossip.

[jim_julian]

Good stuff, can we have the link to her blog? I'm sure my SO would love to read her blog since shes moving to oregon ;-)

 

Careful ... having your Chinese intended read a blog by a Chinese lady in Oregon written in English can be a two-edged sword.

[carl.hops]

Good stuff, can we have the link to her blog? I'm sure my SO would love to read her blog since shes moving to oregon ;-)

 

Careful ... having your Chinese intended read a blog by a Chinese lady in Oregon written in English can be a two-edged sword.

 

yeah but I'd like to read it for my self also.