P4 received today also

[michaelt]

"I know she doesn't drink rummrunners or listen to Jimmy Buffet music...."

 

I would bet dollars to donuts that my (Chinese) wife is the ONLY lady in all of the Middle Kingdom who knows the words to Come Monday and Margaritaville by heart. I taught her well! Hahah. I have a feeling she'll be just fine when we settle in Tampa next year!

 

Where do you live? Send em an email at abrown2516@hotmail.com if you're in the Tampa area!

I'm in Delray Beach...south of West Palm Beach, north of Ft. Lauderdale. Yes, we should stay in touch. May I get your opinion? Only been to China once. New job. Vacation time tight. Want to save for when she arrives BUT don't want to jeopardize interview and Visa. Plan a trip before she arrives? (and cram in ACH and interview) OR save time off to make her comfortable for her first week here? I can't do both....sucks....your thoughts?

[Gordon]

Hey Michael, I'm in the same boat as you, except I am semi-retired and have time to spend with my girl after she gets here. But concerning being there at the time of the interview, I think it would be better being there. I too have only been to China once and I feel it would be better to show that you have been there at least twice. There is only a ten year difference in our ages so I believe that will work in our favor as we are both mature adults. (42 her-52 me) I understand your concern with being there the first week when she arrives. If you have two days off a week and you are home in the evenings, my thought is to at least get her here. I hope this dribble helps.

Edited August 5, 2007 by Gordon (see edit history)

[michaelt]

Hey Michael, I'm in the same boat as you, except I am semi-retired and have time to spend with my girl after she gets here. But concerning being there at the time of the interview, I think it would be better being there. I too have only been to China once and I feel it would be better to show that you have been there at least twice. There is only a ten year difference in our ages so I believe that will work in our favor as we are both mature adults. (42 her-52 me) I understand your concern with being there the first week when she arrives. If you have two days off a week and you are home in the evenings, my thought is to at least get her here. I hope this dribble helps.

It's all good dribble. : ) I'm 49 and she is 33. I desperately want to be there for the interview and ACH, but thought it was best to be off from work and home the first week (and 2 weekends) to make her feel at home and show her around. I just sent in an application for my Chinese Visa if, when interview gets closer, I change my mind (again) and decide to visit again before and during interview...the emotional roller-coaster!!!!!! I'm worse than she is!!!!

Thanks so much for writing!

[rogerinca]

CONGRATS kangjie!!

 

I'll bet it's the best nervous you've ever felt huh?

 

Actually its worry since this is my first marriage. It is a big deal pulling her away from country and faimly to come all the way over here just for me.I live a quiet life in the country and drive into the city every day to work. Don't know how she is going to adjust to not having a million people around her every day and not be able to walk to a store or understand the telemarketers calling on the phone.

 

Your situation is almost identical to mine. First marriage for both of us. I too worry about yanking her away from everything she's known and loved her whole life and bringing her to a totally new/strange place. I'm in the burbs, not the country. But it may as well be for someone who's lived only in Shanghai and Shenzhen, two of the largest cities in China.

 

I worry about all that every day. When I bring it up with her,she's quick to reassure me that she's coming here because she wants to be with me and be a part of the life that I live. I believe her when she says that, I don't have a choice. And I believe she will come here and do everything she can to be happy and content. And I'll do everything I can to make sure that happens.

 

Nothing's guaranteed. But if you've done all you can to make sure you two are compatible and that you belong together before she gets here, you're off to a great start. After that you just be yourself and do all you can to make her happy and comfortable. You're both making a huge leap in your lives. She understands what's involved or she wouldn't have come so far with you.

 

Trust her and trust yourself.

 

Best of luck.

 

 

First, Kangjie, I missed your post the first time around, as I was in Guangzhou for the past three weeks with Lao Po.

Congratulations and enjoy all that awaits you !!! You will find this is the greatest life-event to ever happen to [most] of us who share our lives here !!!! I cannot wait for my P-4 !! Also, please know that Dave offers such great input here !!!!

 

Second, Dave, you are such an articulate and intelligent man. Your common sense and kind/considerate heart, come through with all you write !! Thank you for all you add to this forum !!