What does your Chinese wife expect from you?

[PhoenixRising]

My SO and myself are going through the 129-F process and I plan on filing very soon for us. What are some of the things I should learn and be aware of. I have read some of the posts here recently and it seems many of the problems that have risen from cultural misunderstandings that have led to both parties being accused of being a bad person. I of course wish to avoid this from coming up in our future.

My Lady is a professional and her family are very well educated people.

Any ideas on this?

[Dennis143]

BE KIND and be patient too.

[TootTaLu]

My SO and myself are going through the 129-F process and I plan on filing very soon for us. What are some of the things I should learn and be aware of. I have read some of the posts here recently and it seems many of the problems that have risen from cultural misunderstandings that have led to both parties being accused of being a bad person. I of course wish to avoid this from coming up in our future.

My Lady is a professional and her family are very well educated people.

Any ideas on this?

 

Ive been living in China with my fiance for 2 years,so we have had the opportunity to fight about stuff.

First I blamed it on "cultural misunderstandings",then I thought it was a language problem,so I had my Chinese friends try and help mediate some disagreements.After a while I decided maybe she is crazy.

When it comes down to it,if there are difficulties its easy to blame it on "cultural differences",but I think its just a combination of language differences and her being a female.

 

We are still in China,so she has never been to my home in America.

[PhoenixRising]

My fiancee and I are both very kind and caring people. She is in the medical field and is a care giver. An old saying is " meet nice people; not people who have to be trained to be nice".

Her family has been very nice to me and they have given their blessing to us. She has a daughter that will turn 20 this month. Her daughter wishes to remain in China and finish her education. She may wish to come to the USA or stay in China and make her life there. As any good Mother she would like her daughter here in the USA and close by her. I explained to her about the long wait period her daughter may have to face once she turns 21 if she decides to come to the US. She says she understands this. I know that blood is thicker then marriages also.

My children have long been on their own and out of the house. I have heard that the Chinese Families do not encourage this sort of independence until the child marries. I have also been told that when you marry a Chinese woman you also marry her family. My belief is you marry your wife and you have a good relationship with your wifes family and your marriage must always come first.

My future wife does not appear to be high maintenace type. She earns a fair living in China and wishes to work here in the USA. She has a good education holding a Bachelor degree also. I know she wishes to send money back to China occasionally to help her family out. One of my friends who is married to a lady from China told me that his wife does this occasionally also. It seems like the macic number is $300. Another man I know who was married to a woman from the Phillipines had huge problems with his wife when she started to work she wished and did send all of the money she earned back to her family there. They wound up getting a divorce over this practice.

I know any realtionship is a gamble by both sides. I just wish to make the transition easier for us.

[paula]

My fiancee and I are both very kind and caring people. She is in the medical field and is a care giver. An old saying is " meet nice people; not people who have to be trained to be nice".

Her family has been very nice to me and they have given their blessing to us. She has a daughter that will turn 20 this month. Her daughter wishes to remain in China and finish her education. She may wish to come to the USA or stay in China and make her life there. As any good Mother she would like her daughter here in the USA and close by her. I explained to her about the long wait period her daughter may have to face once she turns 21 if she decides to come to the US. She says she understands this. I know that blood is thicker then marriages also.

My children have long been on their own and out of the house. I have heard that the Chinese Families do not encourage this sort of independence until the child marries. I have also been told that when you marry a Chinese woman you also marry her family. My belief is you marry your wife and you have a good relationship with your wifes family and your marriage must always come first.

My future wife does not appear to be high maintenace type. She earns a fair living in China and wishes to work here in the USA. She has a good education holding a Bachelor degree also. I know she wishes to send money back to China occasionally to help her family out. One of my friends who is married to a lady from China told me that his wife does this occasionally also. It seems like the macic number is $300. Another man I know who was married to a woman from the Phillipines had huge problems with his wife when she started to work she wished and did send all of the money she earned back to her family there. They wound up getting a divorce over this practice.

I know any realtionship is a gamble by both sides. I just wish to make the transition easier for us.

 

 

I am chinese woman with american husband. I expect my husband being very sweet, very loving, very spoiling me, but also can ean a lot money, save a lot money, and spend a lot on ME!!! oh, forget mention listening to me.

 

Do I ask too much?????

[IllinoisDave]

I am chinese woman with american husband. I expect my husband being very sweet, very loving, very spoiling me, but also can ean a lot money, save a lot money, and spend a lot on ME!!! oh, forget mention listening to me.

 

Do I ask too much?????

 

Paula, you crack me up.

[SirLancelot]

I am chinese woman with american husband. I expect my husband being very sweet, very loving, very spoiling me, but also can ean a lot money, save a lot money, and spend a lot on ME!!! oh, forget mention listening to me.

 

Do I ask too much?????

 

Paula, you crack me up.

 

But she wasn't kidding Dave! She was being absolutely serious.

 

My wife told me the exact same thing.

Edited July 18, 2007 by SirLancelot (see edit history)

[Juette]

I am chinese woman with american husband. I expect my husband being very sweet, very loving, very spoiling me, but also can ean a lot money, save a lot money, and spend a lot on ME!!! oh, forget mention listening to me.

 

Do I ask too much?????

 

You ask the same thing any American girl would want, except for maybe the saving money part.

Edited July 18, 2007 by Juette (see edit history)

[bosco]

We've had a couple of big financial hits recently and I've been pretty upset at times. My dear Ling just keeps saying, "No matter. We don't need money. Only health and family are important."

 

After 10 years of crappy dating with women who always ended up showing that money was most important to them, my beautiful wife just melts my heart every day.

[SmilingAsia]

What I expect from a man?

Emotionally stable. No alcoholic, no drugs. Boy, don't lose your salary in Lost Wages!

Decent education. Decent house.

Don't expect me to be an American woman though I talk like one of them. I'm Chinese in the bone. I'll wash your panties everyday unless you don't wear any

Edited July 18, 2007 by SmilingAsia (see edit history)

[bosco]

Well I, as only one American male, can honestly say I've never worn any panties in my entire life.

[SmilingAsia]

Well I, as only one American male, can honestly say I've never worn any panties in my entire life.

Wow, cool You remind me one of the movies by Jet Li. Edited July 18, 2007 by SmilingAsia (see edit history)

[IllinoisDave]

Well I, as only one American male, can honestly say I've never worn any panties in my entire life.

 

Well there was that one time on your head....

[IllinoisDave]

I am chinese woman with american husband. I expect my husband being very sweet, very loving, very spoiling me, but also can ean a lot money, save a lot money, and spend a lot on ME!!! oh, forget mention listening to me.

 

Do I ask too much?????

 

Paula, you crack me up.

 

But she wasn't kidding Dave! She was being absolutely serious.

 

My wife told me the exact same thing.

 

[yuan fen]

"Lew ca"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just joking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just when I think I know, it changes.

 

 

 

If you really want to know.....okay.......

 

 

 

Sometimes it is "take out trash'

 

other times it is "give dog walk"

 

Then there is "take shower"

 

can't forget, "turn off cold air"

 

be a man, not a baby lao gong

 

and the list goes on.

 

 

Oh yea,

 

add all those things Paula & SmilingAsia listed too.

 

 

washing panties? that is what bath tub is for

 

 

 

Even I know that answer. That's in the training manual on page 8.