paula

I have not been here for long long time, but having seen your pictures, I almost cry now. I miss China, and have been here almost for 2 years at the end of this Dec, never back China to have a look. Now I have time, but my son is still in school, it seems I never get enough time to fly back.

I asked my husband send me money after we got married in China. Honestly I didnt need money at that time. I had good job, working in a famous univeristy, slary is upper middle. But I think I am married, no matter where the husband is, he should take responsibilty for thr marriage. Also it is good way to see if your man is serious to the marriage and good provider. My husband was in debt at that time because of his divorce, but he still tried to wire me money $ 100 or $200 per month. When he got bonus, he sent me more. He also paid for interview cost. He called me everyday, and sent me money every month during 2 years waitting for visa. From it, my all family members know my husband is pretty good guy, and he will treat me and my son well in the US. Like other guy said above, it did make family feel much relief. When I got to the US, I took $2100 Cash, that was money my husband sent me and I saved. He was suprised. Now we are living together for 9 months in the US, he knows I am good at finance. I deal with all my family money now. Can I ask one question here? Why ameircan men dont like hear " the other men do it ,or my friends husband do it" . For you guys ,it is crap, but for women, we wondered why other husband can do it for their wifes, why my husband cant???

I love "Sajiao", I think most of women love doing it, they want to be paid more attention to, or being pampered or spoiled by their men. I alwayd do it to my husband, most of time my husband just hold me and pat me on the head, or kiss me. I felt happy, he felt happy. It is a just way of showing love in daily marriage life. but I wondered all women in the world do Sajiao? or only chinese???

my husband keep buying, I keep returnning. Few days ago, he told me he hide or destory receipt when he buy something by himself. I was upset with him, because all what he bought cost more. He never use coupon, mail-in-rebate and never compare prices. He said only 10% of americans here did what I did, using couon, mail-in-rebate and so on. then I told him americans are stupid. The only one thing I enjoyed here is shopping and returnning. My husband said my shopping is my entertainment. As I always bought a lot, then few days later, I drove to return them. but I did spent a lot money on dresses, shoes,make up, but all are on sale or have a lot free gifts. Sometimes I just bought them because they are much cheaper here after discount. I collected them for gifts in case someday I will back china for visit. again I love shopping in the US.

I am chinese woman with american husband. I expect my husband being very sweet, very loving, very spoiling me, but also can ean a lot money, save a lot money, and spend a lot on ME!!! oh, forget mention listening to me. Do I ask too much?????

I went to Dentist yesterday, and I have 3 teeth resin holes, and one th teeth resin anterior, I dont know how much my insurance paid, but I paid $148. I dont know why americans here have very white teeth, which i like very much, but we chinese teeth are darker, looks a little bit grey? Is it because of water system in china? my dentist said might be, he think here water are more purified. or maybe cos some medicine like two much anti-biotic we took when we were small? My denist said I have pretty good teeth comparing to my age but he dont know if bleach will help me have whiter teeth, but he said I can have a try, Guess what? try means money, insurance will not pay bleaching, the estimate will be $287 whole teeth. Also one nerve of my front tooth died 15 years ao, so it turned to dark. Dentist said better get a crown for it, it will cost $846, insurace only pay half of it. Kill me boy I called my parents last night. My mom said" dont waste any money on your teeth, you are chinese, so your teeth should be darker than american's that is matching?" lovely mom Maybe I should fix my teeth in China? but I do like dental equiptment here, much better than china.

I was cursios too, and thought this kinda marriage would not last long, but now maybe I was wrong. I met a couple in my resturant, chinese lady and american guy. the lady speak hardly english and she stayed in the US almost for 3 years. She doest work, and stay at home to take care of family. I drove to her house 2 days ago, and found her house is very clean, and she was knitting in the living room and watching TV. She told me they never fight and her husband did everything for her. I believe in her. I know without her husband, she cant stay here because of her poor english. I am little jealous of her. compare to her, I have to do everything for my family, pay all bills on time and when phone or electricity or everything in my family had problem, I had to make calls to fix it. I have to work too, even though not work everyday like I did in China, but I felt the same tired sometimes, also more complaining. These days my husband was travel with his kids, I was at home alone and thought maybe I should never had learnt english before, Then I would never flight and complain to my husband. Our marriage would be happy??? I only got one conclusion yesterday, when american independent day was. I am a Chinese Lady with american husband, but I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN! so I called my husband and told him maybe I should stay in the US but not live with him. He said "please keep me as I am a sweet husband " Most of them yes he is, then I told him" OK, now I will keep you, but you need try to get rid your bad temper and be much sweeter". So now I still have to be his secretary, housekeeper, chef, best friend, and sexy wife!!

why I was so unlucky? When I moved here,the first one month I gained 2 or 3lbs, I was 120lbs, now I am 124lbs. Only time I lost my weight is when I was sick and didnt eat for 2 days, I was 117lbs. but after I was recovered, I gained back again. i ran or walked a lot in china. I became lazy and didnt do any excersice at all. I noticed one thing my 2 stepchildren only like eating meat, no vegetable. even one is 12 years old girl. The pork they eat one meal is equal to one week meat cooked for family in China. I doubt how they can diagest it? When I eat too much meat, I have stomach problem.

I am not a animal lover, but I dont hate them too, I just never had one in my life when I was in China. Since I moved here, my husband brought a boxer for my son. She is very nice dog, but yet my son didnt take his responsibilties to take good care of her. Feeding her became my one of my job, which upset me. Wether here in TX is hot now, nobody picked up dog pop, so a lot flies in the back yard. Finally I blow off, I told my husband I cant have a dog in house. Last Sunday another lady adopted my dog. I am a little missing her, but I know I will never have any pet in my life forever, period.

I took 4 big suitcases, but two of them with my clothes, one with bedding(quilts,sheets) one with my son's clothes. But I like buying clothes in the US, I can find much cheaper nicer clothes in ROSS, KOHL'S, Jesypenny something on big sale, 80% off usally.

before I moved to the US, I went to photoshop to take some pictures for myself( in China we called"xie zhen"), the photographer couraged me to take some sexy picture so when I get old I can see how pretty I was beofre at first I didnt want to do it, but he kept bugging me, finally I thought it is not bad idea and why not try it. I did took some sexy pictures, but not totally nude, just show my back, or my breast. Tell you the truth, after I got those pictures I was shocked to find how pretty I am I like those pictures and I also sent them to my husband, he loves them too. just now my husband told me I am different from your GF because I am married, then took those kind pictures. I dont know if it help you or not, but I know I love those pictures.

exactly. I do feel sometimes I am lost. I dont know what I should do and how to do something, seems I lost controlling my life, which I hate. but anyway my english major did help me a lot, today I talked to verizon rebate woman on the phone and finally got my $50 rebate back. Next I need deal with ATT about my home phone bill and dish network. My husband is busy with his work evreryday, so I have to deal with all kinds of stuff. Today when he heard I will get that $50 rebate back in two weeks, he said I can use the money to buy him a pair of running shoes, I told him no way, I got it by myself, so I need to use it for myself.

Yes the generally speaking the work is better than the grocery job. I can eat asain food and also take some food back home everyday. My tips is good too. but I dont know why I just dont like american working way. These days I work untill over 10:30pm back home, and my husband was sleeping, when I didnt work, he was not at home and went to his business trip. The life seems is similair to the life I am in China. Alone!

oh, my husband said I should tell it to manger, but for me it seems I would complain. I dont like to stack back someone. Acutally my manager saw it, he once told me he knew I helped everyone and I am very hard working no matter it is my duty or not. He said" paula, you dont need to do that much, it is not your duty" but I cant stand the table mess and floor is dirty! I am very clean woman!!

me too. I almost came the US for 4 months now, but I dont know these days I am very depressed. I miss china, miss my parents very much!! I dont like here, it seems americans in my work always tried to take advange of me as I am very nice and helped everyone even though it is not my responsibility. Here americans only did their duties, but sometimes they asked me "paula , can you bring me something? or paula can you help take something?" It is hard for me to say NO, so everytime I helped them, but one night I tried to let one help, he said " I am busy" I did feel very hurt. I dont like here!!!!

I made all appointments with doctors, TV technician man or other people by myself, and I also talked to my insurnace man too, but I still cant 100% understand what they talked to me about my neck problems, also didnt understand exact insurance policy here, very frustrated for me. Honestly I am very independent woman. Soemtimes I feel I am nothing here. I am like a baby, learn everything.

yes, that is what I observed, americans more care about comfortable, that is why some people wear baggy pants??

Yesterday I went to SSN office and finally done my SSN paper with my maiden name. I found most americans dont wear nice clothes, most are very shabby, slobby. When I sit there, honesetly I didnt feel I am in a devloped country, I wondered why some people think american is best country, look at these american people, they look like poor farmers in China. One thing I noticed we chinese more care about our appearence. We like to wear nice clothes. Maybe that is a reason why clothes in China is more expensive than the US. Of course I mean compare to chinese salary. Any thoughts men?

Yes my dog is incredible, she is very nice dog, behaved very well. She used to be outside dog, but now she is very quiet at my home. Funny is she love to be pampered and all attention, just like me I like her very much now.

Hello everyone here, I am searching a car for myself these days. Now I get used to American big truck and dont like small car, so we decided to buy a SUV, but not new one, just a used one. My husband looked Ford explorer for me, but I saw some Jeep grand cherokee, I think probably because I saw Cherokee in china, not ford explorer. So which one is better? any suggestion ? I also want to know how to find driving test book or TX driving regulations on line? thanks.

My husband's colleague gave us his dog today. Yes she is a very nice dog, boxer,female just 2 years old, and her name is Sindy, well trained. I have never been with a dog before in China, so I am scared of dog. My son loves dog and once promised me he will take good care of dog if I can give him one, but I dont believe in him, he is still a small boy and need me to be with him most of time. Now I have another small girl to need be taken care of. I have told my husband that I will try one week, if she mess up my house or I cant deal with her well, I would return her to his colleague. One thing I found I cant stand his smell of his body. How to deal with it? Let him take a shower? or put him some perfume?

Paula, Have you and you So already married ? Do you guys have scheduled trips back to China during the year. I get exactly what you are saying because when I was visiting my So, I was crazy about her and China but I always had this discombobulated(confused) feeling like I was way out of place. It is just a feeling of being alone in a far away place and being different. I was ready to get on the plane and come back sorta. As soon as I was back for 2 days I immediately missed China and my So. Sometimes the best cure for homesickness is to go home. I have been trying to come up with soultions before she gets here or at least prepare her for it. I told her to look at the first three months as an evaluation period. There is always a way back home in time. In america you can love it or kind of like it or mildly tolerate it or hate it to death if you feel like it. You can flucuate between all four if you want and many people do. we got married for 2.5 year already. I waited for almost 2 years for this visa. Good thing is I got 10 years visa now. Yes I miss my family ,especially my mom and dad. I feel much better now as just now I talked to them on the phone and line,also saw them on cam. Thanks god we have this advanced technology, which help me a lot.

thanks guys, I am feeling much better here today. Woman is very strange, also sensitive sometimes. The weather here today is not good, raining all day, which affect my mood a lot. I miss my parents badly. My husband drove me to go shopping today, and we bought a lot food in walmart, and we went to cloth store, named "oldnavy" as it is for sale up to 75%. I bought 4 shirts for myself, and 2 for my brother and brother-in-law. They are very cheap after discount, even cheaper than china, but honestly the clothes here is not as pretty as in china. I am thinking I will let my family buy me clothes in China not here We went to another chinese buffee, the owner of resturant is from Taiwan, but waiter is from china mainland. We talked in Chinese. I was very happy and tipped him $2. Anyway you guys are right, I need to be patient and I will be better here after I get my car and job.

I dont know what I should say. Yes I like some of america, but I like China better. I have been here for 29 days now. This morning I told my husband I want to come back China. He was scared and asked me if I am serious. I said yes, but I know I cant leave him alone here as I love him. I dont know why I feel lonely and insecure here. actually we have a nice house here and my husband's salary is good, but I still worry worry, I think probably because I have no my family members and no Job here. Hopefully after I get my car soon, I can feel better. Do you think your Chinese wife or SO are worrying wife or SO? My husband said I worried damned too much

I was pissed off by american goverment just now. Today here it was raining, but we still went to SSN office as we planed before. I got there around 8:20am, and found a lot people( most of them are blacks amd mexican) waitting there already. I got my number and it was the 10th. SSN officer started work at 9:00am. It was my turn around 9:40am. The different officer met me . I told her I want to put my husband family there, she said why I didnt change it before I got my green card? I told her I dont know, probably because there is my maiden name on my passport, then she took my marriage certification to ask someone help.Few mins later she told me she will do my son's first as he wont change his name then do mine later. My son SSN was Ok, and I signed my name on the paper, then I got a notice.then she tried to put my husband's name there, but she told me the PC system didnt take it in. I thought probably immigration and SSN shared the same system. She copied my passport, green card, and notorized marriage certificate and told me she will call me later today if she can do it or not. As I also took a SSN aaplication on my maiden name with me , I tried to tell her if I cant get my husband's family, I will keep my maiden name, but she didnt listen to me, kept telling me she will call me today and let me know what I should do I told her I just moved here around 1 month, has no car, so it is not easy for me to come SSN office, She still said she will call me. Oh man, it seems she wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible. Now I understand why I waited for long time to get my visa, government sucks.