Culture Clash already...

[Dennis143]

I polled the Chinese women I live with and 100% said "this is not a Chinese thing; this is personality." For what it's worth ...

Well Jim, in my observation, I have yet to meet a Chinese woman who will go near a cat. Many are very fearful of dogs yet, to compare: Dogs OK. Cats No Way.

[paula]

I am not a animal lover, but I dont hate them too, I just never had one in my life when I was in China. Since I moved here, my husband brought a boxer for my son. She is very nice dog, but yet my son didnt take his responsibilties to take good care of her. Feeding her became my one of my job, which upset me. Wether here in TX is hot now, nobody picked up dog pop, so a lot flies in the back yard. Finally I blow off, I told my husband I cant have a dog in house. Last Sunday another lady adopted my dog. I am a little missing her, but I know I will never have any pet in my life forever, period.

[david_dawei]

I polled the Chinese women I live with and 100% said "this is not a Chinese thing; this is personality." For what it's worth ...

Well Jim, in my observation, I have yet to meet a Chinese woman who will go near a cat. Many are very fearful of dogs yet, to compare: Dogs OK. Cats No Way.

I'll never forget that Garfield comic strip... Garfield said that the best dog was someone else's dog... ergo, someone else's responsibility... someone elses dime... I think this could be a practical approach that many chinese might take with pets...

 

funny thing is, cats are easier to take care of...

[SirLancelot]

I polled the Chinese women I live with and 100% said "this is not a Chinese thing; this is personality." For what it's worth ...

Well Jim, in my observation, I have yet to meet a Chinese woman who will go near a cat. Many are very fearful of dogs yet, to compare: Dogs OK. Cats No Way.

 

 

Interesting. My wife's newly found friend from 001, whom she has met both in Shanghai before their arrival to the US and now here locally in Northern CA, is getting a kitten as a gift from her husband. He's flying down tomorrow to Orange County to get the cat and flying it back. This friend has a photo of the kitten as her avatar on MSN Messenger. I believe the gal picked out the kitten herself and the husband is buying it for her. So I don't think it's cultural, it's more a "to each his or her own" kinda of thing.

 

I just asked my wife what her thoughts are on cats and she said she'd like small, cute kittens. She wouldn't like big, ugly cats.

 

And no, my wife has never eaten a cat before in her life.

[toy_rn65]

I thought my dog was looking at me funny after I tried dog meat in China during the last trip!

[warpedbored]

I can't say about most Chinese but my experience is my wife thinks pets are cute but they are still animals not family members. When we first got married I had a little dog. She liked the little guy and would feed him shelled sunflower seeds and get him to do tricks for her. At first he was allowed on the foot of the bed, then banished to the floor. After she became acquainted with some of a dog's more disgusting habits she became less enamored with him. After we got the new house she decided he should live outside. I wasn't in agreement with this and we were seeking a compromise when he disappeared one day while he was out. Since he knows the neighborhood well I presume he was stolen. I doubt seriously we will be getting another dog. She doesn't like cats so that is totally out of the question. This is the first time in my life I didn't have a dog. I miss having one but my wife takes precedence.

[robert]

I have been single the majority of my life. I have always had numerous animals and birds in my world. When Limei arrived 2 weeks ago it was immediately apparant that she was terribly afraid of dogs. My dog found a new home with the neighbors. I have had 2 parrots for 10 years. Limei believed that this was unhealthy to have birds in the house. The macaw went to a pet shop and the african grey went to my sons house. On the other hand we have bought 11 head of beef as Limei does like animals and is excited about living in the country and on the farm. She enjoys feeding the ostriches, ducks, peacocks etc. I feel that Limei is my priority and although I enjoyed my dog[used to sleep with me] and my parrots I would not subject her to an uncomfortable home environment. They are as others have said...animals......Limei is my wife!

[clayton2103]

As an animal lover and owner (1 cat), one of my first questions to any possible future relationship is if they like animals. This is an important prerequisite of mine. Heck, if they love animals, they may just love me.

 

My SO stated that yes, she loved animals especially dogs. I introduced my SO to my cat of nearly 18 years via photos and writing of her when we first began writing one another. She knows the cat sleeps in my bed and has the run of the house. She accepts her fully and even remarks and laughs of our future happy bed at night with all 40 toes gathered in one bed. She hopes my cat will love her and wishes to become her "mommy."

 

She is already asking for a dog to become an addition to our family once she arrives.

 

BUT...I have learned that the jealousy factor is high when she hears me speak to my cat or when I cater to it when we are on the phone. She feels that she becomes second to the cat if attention is given to the cat at the wrong time. She does not hold back her thoughts when she feels I put the cat before her.

I have learned quickly to control my "love" for my pet when on the phone and will also in our future. I don't like mops!

 

Perhaps it is not the "dirty" factor and perhaps it is the "jealousy" factor that leads to the comments concerning the kissing of the cat.

 

Good Luck. I feel I have crossed this bridge successfully, at this point!

 

Clayton

[evansfan]

I am having the most difficult disagreement with my fiancee that I have ever had:

She saw me kiss my cat on the back of the neck the other night on video conference, and told me, "You kiss cat?! If you kiss your cat, you can NEVER kiss me!!"

I though she was joking, but we are now on day two of this.

She says that in China, no one kisses their pets.

She says in China everyone knows how dirty these animals are.

This is seemingly not a jealousy issue.

She claims it is a cultural one.

I just don't know what to do now. I wish to make her happy, but being affectionate with my pets is a deep part of who I am. I am an animal lover. I come from a family of animal lovers.

I even offered to always wash my face and mouth after kissing the cat and before kissing her, which is ridiculous, but I told her I was willing to do this if it would make her happy.

No go.

She still says, "You kiss cat, you never kiss me!"

Any ideas here people?

Is this a serious cultural taboo I don't know of?

Anyone have any experience with this situation?

 

You aren't going to like this.

 

Anyone who would seriously consider 'losing' their fiance over kissing their cat has a serious problem in my world. I don't get it.

 

I have a yellow lab that followed my 18 month old son out of the yard when my bai chi former wife didn't close the gate. That dog wouldn't let the POLICE get near him; he walked along side my son while the cops herded both of them home. I loved that dog for that, but... that said, he is a DOG, nothing more, nothing less.

 

I will incur the wrath of all the animal lovers here for saying this, and I don't think there is a wrath greater than that of an animal lover who is defending his/her love for their animals, but... it is strictly cultural, and damned recent in our culture to boot.

 

Human love of their animals comes from that same "touchy-feely" place that cartoon animals come from. We're talking a Pooh Bear that eats 'hunny' instead of people, cartoon lions that sing and talk and Bambi-type deer that have all the characteristics of sensitive, kindly and hyper-moral (if a little bewildered) humans, TIMES TEN.

 

I think that any culture that can shower this much attention and 'love' on animals has; a.) Too much disposable income, and/or b.) Too many lonely people, and/or c.) A very distorted view of our world, that being projecting too many human values/emotions onto animals who are, by definition, just animals.

 

Sorry, I've never had or even KNOWN of an animal that I would put above any human being, with the possible exception of Charles Manson, but I could make a strong case for him not being human.

 

animals don't = humans

 

sorry

 

I agree, except you forgot one thing-we are animals as well-jay

Edited June 22, 2007 by evansfan (see edit history)

[Aussie in love]

Right from the start I always told Jane what sort of person I was, one that liked and lived with animals. She agreed, tolerated and persevered, but I had doubts. Because of this I really pushed the issue. She did not like animals!

 

My dog is 45kg and feeding him was seen as a great waste and burden. After several work trips to China where Jane was left on her lone (along with the 45kg monster), she changed. The roles have totally reversed. Wally (the dog) is spoiled. They walk, talk (bilingual) and do everything together. They almost totally take care of each other with me on the outside. I am just the provider for both. How things have changed!

 

Another was Jane¡¯s father having a heart operation in Shenzhen. At the same time we fell upon an Alexandrine Parrot. Now I am unable to get rid of it because my father in law believes this bird flew into our life, at his important time and is significant to us all. He does not ask about me but about Charlie the parrot instead.

 

Time and circumstance can and may change everything.

[izus]

when ChunYan first arrived we went over to my uncles house who has 3 dogs and 5 cats and some fish....

he calls it the zoo

 

all inside mind you, with doggie door....

the house is clean no including some cat hair laying around

 

anyways before we left she told me, i just want to pet the cat once.

she was scared to death of the cat and really took alot to bring herself to even touch it.

by the end of the visit she picked up the black cat and took a picture.

 

she was so proud of herself.

 

there are many differences in our culture, both of us bend to reach the other.

[lili58]

Cats have blue or green eyes which makes it very "foreign" for us (chinese and most of the asians). Their eyes look very different from us. I am very scared of cat's eyes and nails.

I have a friend who happen to have green eyes (she's from Xinjiang province), she loves cat!! I tend to think it has something to do with her eye color.

Dogs usually have black/brown eyes which makes it "closer" to us.

[SinoTexas]

I am having the most difficult disagreement with my fiancee that I have ever had:

She saw me kiss my cat on the back of the neck the other night on video conference, and told me, "You kiss cat?! If you kiss your cat, you can NEVER kiss me!!"

I though she was joking, but we are now on day two of this.

She says that in China, no one kisses their pets.

She says in China everyone knows how dirty these animals are.

This is seemingly not a jealousy issue.

She claims it is a cultural one.

I just don't know what to do now. I wish to make her happy, but being affectionate with my pets is a deep part of who I am. I am an animal lover. I come from a family of animal lovers.

I even offered to always wash my face and mouth after kissing the cat and before kissing her, which is ridiculous, but I told her I was willing to do this if it would make her happy.

No go.

She still says, "You kiss cat, you never kiss me!"

Any ideas here people?

Is this a serious cultural taboo I don't know of?

Anyone have any experience with this situation?

 

You aren't going to like this.

 

Anyone who would seriously consider 'losing' their fiance over kissing their cat has a serious problem in my world. I don't get it.

 

I have a yellow lab that followed my 18 month old son out of the yard when my bai chi former wife didn't close the gate. That dog wouldn't let the POLICE get near him; he walked along side my son while the cops herded both of them home. I loved that dog for that, but... that said, he is a DOG, nothing more, nothing less.

 

I will incur the wrath of all the animal lovers here for saying this, and I don't think there is a wrath greater than that of an animal lover who is defending his/her love for their animals, but... it is strictly cultural, and damned recent in our culture to boot.

 

Human love of their animals comes from that same "touchy-feely" place that cartoon animals come from. We're talking a Pooh Bear that eats 'hunny' instead of people, cartoon lions that sing and talk and Bambi-type deer that have all the characteristics of sensitive, kindly and hyper-moral (if a little bewildered) humans, TIMES TEN.

 

I think that any culture that can shower this much attention and 'love' on animals has; a.) Too much disposable income, and/or b.) Too many lonely people, and/or c.) A very distorted view of our world, that being projecting too many human values/emotions onto animals who are, by definition, just animals.

 

Sorry, I've never had or even KNOWN of an animal that I would put above any human being, with the possible exception of Charles Manson, but I could make a strong case for him not being human.

 

animals don't = humans

 

sorry

 

You wouldn't survive here Mike. All the critters here are what helps to make this a home. I am fond of animals and love having them around. My fiancee knows all about the critters that are part of the "household" and will adapt, unlike you. So the two dogs, one cat, two pigs, five chickens, six longhorns, 14 angus and two horses will all be staying. The dogs are in the house part of the time and the other critters are pets because they like human contact and are very friendly. The 2,000 pound black angus bull is a little initimidating when he hangs out by the yard gate. I guess that explains why I find some of my UPS and FedEx packages hanging out on the ranch entrance gate as opposed to house delivery. He really is a softy and likes to nuzzle. We'll all get along just fine.

 

As aye,

 

Jim

[SmilingAsia]

I tried to use Michael Jackson's pictures to scare away the dogs in the neighborhood who barked at me .

 

By the way, how it tasted when you kissed a cat?

My cat always crawled to my bed when I was a kid but I never kissed him.

Edited June 22, 2007 by SmilingAsia (see edit history)

[whutthapho]

I tried to use Michael Jackson's pictures to scare away the dogs in the neighborhood who barked at me .

 

By the way, how it tasted when you kissed a cat?

My cat always crawled to my bed when I was a kid but I never kissed him.

 

Tastes like...chicken.